As Close as I get to a “Review Policy”

Thanks to BookerTalk for saying something today, I’d been intending on revisiting my “Read My Book” page, because I’m uncomfortable with the notion of “Review Policy.” It turns out that it’s been 14 months to the day since I did that. I think it’s a little better now, even if it seems a bit wordier than I’d prefer.

Below is what I currently have on that submission form—authors, is this helpful? Do you have any feedback? Book Bloggers—same questions: is this helpful? Do you have comments/suggestions?

You’ve written a book? Congrats! You want me to read it? First—thanks, I’m flattered. Second, I’m probably game*—if there’s a date you want it done by? Well…we’ll see what we can work out. Otherwise, it’s FIFO as I work it in with other things I have committed to/want to read.

I prefer Kindle-friendly books (well, I prefer hardcopy, but I know that’s a lot to ask, so we’ll go with Kindle-friendly). I can handle ePub. If you ask nicely, I might read a PDF (I don’t like the way they look on my e-Readers and have to spend time resizing every page so it doesn’t hurt my eyes—that’s time I’d rather spend reading), but I probably won’t. I’d very much appreciate it if you’d send a cover image with your book.

If you’re an agent, a publicist, a publisher and you want me to consider someone’s book—same rules.

I talk about this more on my About page, but, briefly, as far as genres go, with Fiction:
I’m a Mystery/Thriller/Crime Fiction junkie
I love Urban Fantasy
I enjoy good Science Fiction or Fantasy
I’ve even dabbled in Chick Lit (‘tho, honestly, I’m more comfortable in “Lad Lit”)
I’ll take a decent Western.

On the Non-Fiction side, I admit I’m a bit more limited—if it catches my eye, though, I’ll read anything.
I typically end up with Biography/Autobiography/Memoir
Something with a “Soft Science” bent (I’m not opposed to a “Hard Science,” but this is a hobby, not homework)
I’m also a Theology Nerd, of the Reformed Protestant variety—I’ll read some things outside that, but I won’t read any Non-Fiction attacking Christianity/Reformed theology (if you can do it in an interesting novel, I’ll read it).

If you make me laugh or chuckle in any of the above, that’s as good as “Up, Up, Down, Down” to get me on your side.

But I’m open to reading just about anything as far as genre goes (you’ll have to sell me hard on a Zombie book, Romance or Self-Help), just:
make your pitch interesting
try not to let your form’s grammar/spelling make me question your writing ability (I don’t care how cool the book is, it won’t “peak” my interest—and yes, I’ve been told that multiple times)
answer the questions I ask (“when” and “what” mean very different things)
you should come across like someone nice to work with.
If I say, “yes,” don’t hit me with a list of demands, you make me dislike myself for agreeing to read your book—resulting in a miserable experience for me (which makes it difficult for me to say nice things about your book).
After a couple of problems in 2019 (one un-named author in particular) I’ve decided that if you start demanding things from me after I say yes, I’m going to not read/stop reading your book (even if I’m loving it at the 90% mark). It’s petty, but it’s my blog and I’m tired of not enjoying it. I’ve almost walked away from this entire thing because of rude authors, and I won’t put up with it anymore.

I do go out of my way to be fair and reasonable in what I say about a book—but I do give less than rave reviews frequently. I know many book bloggers won’t post negative—or even “meh”—reviews. I’m not one of them. There are two reasons for this: any review (I’m assured) on Goodreads, Amazon, or anywhere else helps your metrics no matter what it says; moreover if I spend the time reading your book, I’m getting a post out of it. I do prefer to like things, so you’re going to get a lot of slack from me.

Unless you specify otherwise, a few hours after posting here, I’ll cross-post to Amazon, Goodreads, LibraryThing, StoryGraph (and other places you might want me to).