Category: M-R Page 8 of 10

Series M-R

Happy Birthday, Archie

My annual (when I’m actually posting to a blog) tribute to one of my favorite fictional characters (if not my all-time favorite).

On Oct 23 in Chillicothe, Ohio, Archie Goodwin entered this world–no doubt with a smile for the pretty nurses–and American detective literature was never the same.

I’m toasting him in one of the ways I think he’d appreciate most–by raising a glass of milk in his honor.

Who was Archie? Archie summed up his life thusly:

Born in Ohio. Public high school, pretty good at geometry and football, graduated with honor but no honors. Went to college two weeks, decided it was childish, came to New York and got a job guarding a pier, shot and killed two men and was fired, was recommended to Nero Wolfe for a chore he wanted done, did it, was offered a full-time job by Mr. Wolfe, took it, still have it.” (Fourth of July Picnic)

Long may he keep it. Just what was he employed by Wolfe to do? In The Black Mountain he answers the statement, “I thought you was a private eye” with:

I don’t like the way you say it, but I am. Also I am an accountant, an amanuensis, and a cocklebur. Eight to five you never heard the word amanuensis and you never saw a cocklebur.

In The Red Box, he says

I know pretty well what my field is. Aside from my primary function as the thorn in the seat of Wolfe’s chair to keep him from going to sleep and waking up only for meals, I’m chiefly cut out for two things: to jump and grab something before the other guy can get his paws on it, and to collect pieces of the puzzle for Wolfe to work on.

In Black Orchids, he reacts to an insult:

…her cheap crack about me being a ten-cent Clark Gable, which was ridiculous. He simpers, to begin with, and to end with no once can say I resemble a movie actor, and if they did it would be more apt to be Gary Cooper than Clark Gable.

In case you’re wondering if this post was simply an excuse to go through some collections of Archie Goodwin quotations, you wouldn’t be totally wrong…he’s one of the fictional characters I like spending time with most in this world–he’s the literary equivalent of comfort food. So just a couple more great lines I’ve quoted here before:

I would appreciate it if they would call a halt on all their devoted efforts to find a way to abolish war or eliminate disease or run trains with atoms or extend the span of human life to a couple of centuries, and everybody concentrate for a while on how to wake me up in the morning without my resenting it. It may be that a bevy of beautiful maidens in pure silk yellow very sheer gowns, barefooted, singing “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning” and scattering rose petals over me would do the trick, but I’d have to try it.

I looked at the wall clock. It said two minutes to four. I looked at my wrist watch. It said one minute to four. In spite of the discrepancy it seemed safe to conclude that it would soon be four o’clock.

“Indeed,” I said. That was Nero Wolfe’s word, and I never used it except in moments of stress, and it severely annoyed me when I caught myself using it, because when I look in a mirror I prefer to see me as is, with no skin grafted from anybody else’s hide, even Nero Wolfe’s.

Non-Fictional Feelings for Fictional Characters

A slightly different post this morning, I’ve been trying some behind-the-scenes work here on the blog this morning — composition, infrastructure, design, etc. The books that I’m overdue to review are hard to write about, I’m plugging away at 4 different reviews right now that I absolutely want to get right , and that’s time-consuming. Also, Grossman’s YOU: A Novel took 2 or 3 days longer to read than I’d expected — worth the time, but it did sort of mess up my schedule. So, like I said. Something different.

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I saw that picture on Grammarly.com‘s facebook page*, and as one does, shared it, which prompted a friend to ask what some of my favorite fictional characters were. I decided to limit the list to fictional characters from books (a. see the picture and b. see this blog), and to characters I had “non-fictional feelings” for — Hannibal Lecter was a favorite (for 2 books, anyway), but I had no emotional attachment to him, or Evanovich‘s Ranger — fun character, but don’t really care about the guy. Here, with added commentary, is my list.

  • Archie Goodwin — this is the name that jumped immediately to mind. Archie’s the big brother I never had — the quick, agile wit; the athleticism; the way with the ladies — and the rest of the things that older brothers so often exemplify to those of us who never had one (on the other hand, we didn’t have to share a bedroom). ‘Course he makes the list.
  • Spenser — it’s almost impossible to spend as much time in a guy’s head as I have Spenser’s (or Archie’s) and not have some sort of emotional bond there. Everything I said about Archie applies here too, actually.
  • Harry Dresden — Chicago’s resident Wizard P. I. He feels like a friend. Hanging with Harry for a night of RPGs, Double Whoppers, and McAnally’s beer sounds ideal.
  • Scout Finch — she’s plucky, honest, a born-reader, and loves her pa (even when she doesn’t understand him). She’s had a soft spot in my heart longer than most of the people on this list.
  • Hermione Granger — sure, her famous buddy still gets all the press. But it’s this brave, clever, stubborn and resourceful gal who’s the most consistent hero in the series — and the one you can count on for genuine emotional moments. (this isn’t to take away anything from Ron, Luna, Albus, Neville, Sirius, Dobby, etc. — but Hermione alone manages to do it in every book in the series)
  • Chet Little / Oberon — it felt like a cheat listing these separately, and it just looked wrong to leave one of them off the list. So…I cheated. Both of these charming gentlemen will win you over within a few pages (in Dog On It and Hounded, respectively), and after you spend a few books with them, they’ll have stolen your heart. They make you laugh, they make you worry — and in Hunted, Oberon commits himself to one of the bravest acts I’ve seen, and choked me up a bit. The humans these guys live with almost make the list just on their testimony.
  • Angela Gennaro — if you hadn’t grown attached to Angie already, especially after Darkness, Take my Hand‘s events, there’s just no way you can’t fall apart with her at the end of Gone, Baby, Gone

Let me hear from you, reader/follower/happener-upon-this-post — who do you have non-fictional feelings for?

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* I looked but couldn’t find the source for this, otherwise I’d have cited it. If you know who should get the credit, please let me know.

Archie Meets Nero Wolfe: A Prequel to Rex Stout’s Nero Wolfe Mysteries by Robert Goldsborough

A slightly briefer version of this appears on Goodreads.

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Archie Meets Nero Wolfe: A Prequel to Rex Stout's Nero Wolfe Mysteries
Archie Meets Nero Wolfe: A Prequel to Rex Stout’s Nero Wolfe Mysteries by Robert Goldsborough

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Back in Junior High when I first discovered the Nero Wolfe/Archie Goodwin books, I was quite relieved to learn that his family had approved a new author to write new books in the series. Murder in E Minor was pretty good — even if it sort of spoiled A Family Affair, it read like Stout on an off-day. His follow-up, Death on a Deadline, did some interesting things and was good enough. But from there, the quality really started slipping, and I can honestly say I really didn’t enjoy Silver Spire or The Missing Chapter at all — not because the latter was about an author continuing a popular series and dealing with backlash from the fans (that was actually sort of amusing). The passion and drive Goldsborough had initially was clearly gone — it’s this experience that keeps me from wholly embracing Ace Atkins as Spenser’s new scribe (as much as I really want to).

So why did I pick up Archie Meets Nero Wolfe? Well, it’d been eighteen years — so for Goldsborough to come back, there had to be a good reason — a story he cared about. He had time to get the voice right, the details “just so.” I was more than a little curious, too, just how did he see this initial meeting?

Oh, and, fine — I’ll be honest. You put out anything with the label “Nero Wolfe” on it and I’ll read it. Janet Evanovich, Nick Hornby, or Richard Russo wants to take a crack at it? I’ll bite.*

But, I did put it off for months. Take that, Goldsborough.

But I had hope. And that hope was buttressed after a few pages when I read:

…I got grilled by a surly lieutenant named Rowcliff, who had bulging eyes and a snarling voice that broke into a stutter when he got excited, which seemed to be much of the time.
He kept trying to get me to say that I fired at the robbers first. I was nervous, but when I wouldn’t budge off my story, his stuttering got worse, which would have been funny under different circumstances.

. That was a nice character moment. I looked forward to more of them. I even had Evernote ready to capture them like that one. That’s the only quotation I bothered grabbing.

There are two things you have to have (at this point) for an acceptable (if not good) Nero Wolfe/Archie Goodwin book. You need the characters we know and love and an interesting plot. Here, Goldsborough falls short on both counts.

To be fair(-ish), I thought he got Saul Panzer and Fred Durkin fairly close to right. Fritz and Rowcliff were pretty dead-on (and not really that present), maybe Stebbins, too. Cramer, Orrie and Bill were off. It was nice to spend some time with Del Bascom — and given how little time we spend with Bascom in the books, you can’t really judge how Goldsborough did with him.

Archie’s a tough one to peg — he’s new to New York at this time, fresh out of Ohio — so we can understand he’s not the detective we meet in Fer-de-Lance yet. He has to learn the city, learn more about being a detective — especially doing it Wolfe’s way, and essentially grow up. Sure, there’s traces of our man here — his attitude, his smart-mouth, his ability to handle himself in a moment of crisis. We see Archie’s appreciation for non-gourmet, but well-prepared, food — and a palate ready for education once he comes into Fritz’ influence. I don’t remember him being so fixated on coffee, either. I think there’s enough of Archie there to give Goldsborough credit for his characterization, but something’s holding me back.

I didn’t buy Wolfe at all — this is the big one. The others are seen in different lights than we normally are exposed to them, which can explain away a lot of the weaknesses of their portrayals — but you have to nail Wolfe or the whole thing is a waste of time. And beyond the beer, the dramatic entrance, his provision for guests . . . it was just a fat guy in a suit playing a part.

And as for plot? Pfui. This wasn’t much of a mystery, the bad guys do most of the work. Saul does almost everything commendable (and yes, you could make the argument that this is often the case) — Wolfe himself doesn’t solve much at all. He still holds the big gathering in his office — pretty much because he has to.

A lot of the attitudes expressed — say, for the child’s emotional well-being following the kidnapping, for example — seemed anachronistic. As did the language the characters used to describe that and similar ideas. I’d stopped caring by the point I noticed these piling up, so I didn’t take notes.

Lastly, I don’t buy at all the explanation Wolfe gives for hiring Archie. It’s just we’re at the end of the book, and it has to happen, so he makes up an excuse with no real justification behind it.

In the end, I’ve got to call this one unsatisfactory

If Robert Goldsborough dips back into this well? Will I read his next one? Yes, absolutely. I’ll hate myself, but I will.

I might wait a year or two, first.

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* I have nothing against any of these authors, at all, I like them a lot. I just don’t think they’re right for the books. Lee Goldberg, on the other hand…

The Broken Places by Ace Atkins

The Broken PlacesThe Broken Places by Ace Atkins
Series: Quinn Colson, #3
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My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I remember reading a review of one of the new Jesse Stone author’s books, where the reviewer wished that Atkins had taken over Stone as well as Spenser, wondering what that would’ve been like. Well, I don’t think we need to wonder–Quinn Colson is Atkins’ Jesse Stone.

The catch is, Colson’s Jericho, MS isn’t Stone’s Paradise, MA.* It’s poorer, everyone knows everyone’s business, everyone’s — criminal and not alike — a bit more open about everything (to an extent); and everything seems bleaker — more hopeless — more real?

I’d say something like how the stakes haven’t been higher for Colson and his county, but that’s pretty much a given — Atkins keeps upping the stakes, the tension and the action each time out. The violence — at least the scale of it — is toned down here. It’s a sign of skill and confidence that, Atkins doesn’t feel compelled to have major armed confrontations in each novel. In addition to three escaped convicts coming to Colson’s county, there’s a recently pardoned murderer trying to show that he’s worth the pardon (despite a lot of warranted cynicism from Jericho’s citizenry). Naturally, the escapees have unfinished business with him — and are going to do whatever they can to make him hold up his end of the bargain.

Oh, did I mention that Colson’s troubled sister is romantically involved with the newly pardoned man? Yeah, there’s plot complications a’plenty there. Throw in other personal and political storylines that have been building and developing since the first book, and there’s a good deal for Colson and his associates to deal with.

What’s best about this — both daring and inventive — is throwing a natural disaster in the middle of the action. It keeps the story from playing out as the reader expects, creates hurdles for all the characters, and gives a couple of people the chance to show their true colors.

I have no idea how Atkins is going to pull off the next book — at least I hope he limits it to one book, some writers might stretch it out — the fallout from this one is going to be messy. But I can’t wait to read it.

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* And Colson’s a better soldier than a cop, and…it’s not a perfect analogy. Roll with it.

Dusted Off: The Lost Ones by Ace Atkins

Well, while I enjoy my time in Tibbehah County, Mississippi with The Broken Places, figured I’d dig this one out of the archives

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The Lost Ones (Quinn Colson, #2)The Lost Ones by Ace Atkins
Series: Quinn Colson, #2
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My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Atkins’ has left me cold with his Nick Travers series and I’m still trying to figure out how positively I feel about his take on Spenser (pretty sure it’s very), but there’s no doubt that this series about Quinn Colson just plain rocks.

This time, Colson’s been elected to sheriff, but he’s still learning the ropes, still more soldier than cop. He and his childhood friends (now mostly employed by Colson) have a lot to deal with: a recent Afghan war vet running drugs, a Mexican drug cartel, a child-abusing/selling family, not to mention a few more federal agents than Colson’s comfortable with. Plus a bunch of personal stuff (current and past), and the corrupt local government that Colson started wrangling with last time out.

Tense, fast-paced, morally murky…Atkins has really nailed this. Can’t wait for the next one.

Dusted Off: Happy Birthday, Archie

On Oct 23 in Chillicothe, Ohio, Archie Goodwin entered this world–no doubt with a smile for the pretty nurses–and American detective literature was never the same.

I’m toasting him in one of the ways I think he’d appreciate most–by raising a glass of milk in his honor.

Who was Archie? Archie summed up his life thusly:

Born in Ohio. Public high school, pretty good at geometry and football, graduated with honor but no honors. Went to college two weeks, decided it was childish, came to New York and got a job guarding a pier, shot and killed two men and was fired, was recommended to Nero Wolfe for a chore he wanted done, did it, was offered a full-time job by Mr. Wolfe, took it, still have it.” (Fourth of July Picnic)

Long may he keep it. Just what was he employed by Wolfe to do? In The Black Mountain he answers the statement, “I thought you was a private eye” with:

I don’t like the way you say it, but I am. Also I am an accountant, an amanuensis, and a cocklebur. Eight to five you never heard the word amanuensis and you never saw a cocklebur.

In The Red Box, he says

I know pretty well what my field is. Aside from my primary function as the thorn in the seat of Wolfe’s chair to keep him from going to sleep and waking up only for meals, I’m chiefly cut out for two things: to jump and grab something before the other guy can get his paws on it, and to collect pieces of the puzzle for Wolfe to work on.

In Black Orchids, he reacts to an insult:

…her cheap crack about me being a ten-cent Clark Gable, which was ridiculous. He simpers, to begin with, and to end with no once can say I resemble a movie actor, and if they did it would be more apt to be Gary Cooper than Clark Gable.

In case you’re wondering if this post was simply an excuse to go through some collections of Archie Goodwin quotations, you wouldn’t be totally wrong…he’s one of the fictional characters I like spending time with most in this world–he’s the literary equivalent of comfort food. So just a couple more great lines I’ve quoted here before:

I would appreciate it if they would call a halt on all their devoted efforts to find a way to abolish war or eliminate disease or run trains with atoms or extend the span of human life to a couple of centuries, and everybody concentrate for a while on how to wake me up in the morning without my resenting it. It may be that a bevy of beautiful maidens in pure silk yellow very sheer gowns, barefooted, singing “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning” and scattering rose petals over me would do the trick, but I’d have to try it.

I looked at the wall clock. It said two minutes to four. I looked at my wrist watch. It said one minute to four. In spite of the discrepancy it seemed safe to conclude that it would soon be four o’clock.

“Indeed,” I said. That was Nero Wolfe’s word, and I never used it except in moments of stress, and it severely annoyed me when I caught myself using it, because when I look in a mirror I prefer to see me as is, with no skin grafted from anybody else’s hide, even Nero Wolfe’s.

Dusted Off: Too Many Women by Rex Stout

Alright, once again, picking up after a pointless break in a surely vain attempt to catch up with my little project, this time looking at the classic, Too Many Women. Like The Silent Speaker, this one gets re-read more than others in my collection, and is still fun to read every time.

The president of the large engineering supply corporation, Naylor-Kerr, comes to Wolfe with an interesting problem. During a recent survey of departments about employee turn-over, an employee of the company is listed as “murdered.” Which is a pretty good reason to no longer come to work, but the idea that one of their employees has been murdered (particularly when the police think he was just a victim of a hit-and-run) is a bit too scandalous for such a fine and upstanding company, and could Mr. Wolfe please rid them of such rumors? Wolfe takes the case, mostly to get Archie out of the office for awhile–they’re getting on each other’s nerves and could use some space. So Archie poses as a personnel consultant and goes undercover.

The first thing Archie notices on his arrival at the offices is that there are a whole lotta women (clerical staff, on the whole) working at this company (see quotation below), enough to ensure that he’s got plenty of incentive to stick around and do a thorough investigation. He’s not there too long before he begins to find evidence that the murder accusation might be well founded after all–and before you know it, there’s another body (shock!). The first victim was some sort of lothario, who didn’t like to go far for his pray, so the suspect list is pretty large. Archie bounces around from attractive female suspect to attractive female suspect, questioning, wining and dining, and all other sorts of verbs, until his boss puts all the pieces together.

This is a breezy novel with plenty to recommend it in matters of style, humor, fun characters and plot quirks. Whether it be the petty bickering between the two stars, the patter between Archie and the women, or Archie having to put up with one individual’s health food nuttiness; the interplay between various characters is definitely more than enough to draw the reader in.

I can’t help but note, each time I read this, how much books like this disprove many of the assumptions we have about this time period–particularly those propogated by groups wanting to imagine the mid-20th century as some sort of moral oasis

I could reproduce pages and pages of Archie’s descriptions of the staff of Kerr-Naylor to give Stout a chance to strut his stuff, but will leave them to their proper context, just listing two here for a sample:

     …as far as space went, it was a room about the size of the Yankee Stadium, with hundreds of desks and girls at them. Along each side of that area, the entire length, was a series of partitioned offices, with some of the doors closed and some open. No stock of anything was in sight anywhere.
     One good glance and I liked the job. The girls. All right there, all being paid to stay right there, and me being paid to move freely about and converse with anyone whomever, which was down in black and white. Probably after I had been there a couple of years I would find that close-ups revealed inferior individual specimens, Grade B or lower in age, contours, skin quality, voice, or level of intellect, but from where I stood at nine-fifty-two Wednesday morning it was enough to take your breath away. At least half a thousand of them, and the general and overwhelming impression was of–clean, young, healthy, friendly, spirited, beautiful and ready. I stood and filled my eyes, trying to look detached. It was an ocean of opportunity.

She was not at all spectacular…but there were two things about her that hit you at a glance. You got the instant impression that there was something beautiful about her that no one but you would understand and no one but you could help her out of. If that sounds too complicated for a two-second-take, okay, I was there and I remember it distinctly.

Dusted Off: The Silent Speaker by Rex Stout

With The Silent Speaker, we’ve returned to novels in our tour through the Corpus, the War is over and our heroes, like the rest of the country, are adjusting to that fact. In the U.S., part of that has to do with price regulation and battles between governmental agencies and private businesses. In this case we have the Bureau of Price Regulation (BPR) and the National Industrial Association (NIA).

Now, I’ll be honest (and I realize this makes me a horrid person), this part of U.S. History makes my eyes glaze over, so I can’t say for certain how much the relationships depicted between the two entities are accurate. But this feels real (names of agencies/groups/companies being changed, naturally), and a little bit of reading that I’ve done about The Silent Speaker seems to support that. In years to come, Stout will not tweak details like that (The Doorbell Rang), but it’s more than understandable when he and other authors take that tack.

The head of the BPR (Cheney Boone) was scheduled to speak before a gathering of the NIA–a hostile audience, to be sure. And it does not appear that his address was going in anyway to endear him or the rest of his McCoys to the NIA Hatfields. But a funny thing happened on the way to the podium–well, not funny at all really, but that’s the phrase. Someone took a monkey wrench to his cranium while he was backstage rehearsing. The BPR people and the Boones begin accusing someone–anyone–with ties to the NIA, the NIA are certain that it’s all a front designed to bring public sentiment against him.

The police are soon stymied and have to deal with enough political pressure to prevent them from doing any real work. Wolfe’s patience is tried (and then some) by the bickering between and within the various camps. In addition to the vitriol flying all over, there are enough red herrings to keep things too confusing for the case to progress much.

In this book, at last, our cast of regulars is completed with the introduction of newspaperman extraordinaire, Lon Cohen. He doesn’t get a lot of space in this appearance, but that’s remedied in the next couple of books (and many future ones).

This is really one of the gems in the series, and one I return to more often than many others. I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but all cylinders are firing this time out, and not a false or ill-advised step is made (by the author anyway). This is a great novel to serve as an entry (or re-entry) point to the series for someone not sure where to start.

And now, for our regularly scheduled collection of witticisms and other notable quotes:

As usual, he didn’t life an eye when I entered. Also as usual, I paid no attention to whether he was paying attention.

     “Satisfactory, Archie,” [Wolfe] muttered.
     Frankly, I wish I could make my heart quit doing an extra thump when Wolfe says satisfactory, Archie. It’s childish.

[Wolfe] pushed the button, savagely, for beer. He was as close to being in a panic as I remembered seeing him.

I looked at the wall clock. It said two minutes to four. I looked at my wrist watch. It said one minute to four. In spite of the discrepancy it seemed safe to conclude that it would soon be four o’clock.

     I had made a close and prolonged study of Wolfe’s attitude toward women. The basic fact about a woman that seemed to irritate him was that she was a woman; the long record showed not a single exception; but form there on the documentation was cockeyed. If woman as woman grated on him you would suppose that the most womany details would be the worst for him, but time and again I have known him to have a chair placed for a female so that his desk would not obstruct his view of her legs, and the answer can’t be that his interest is professional and he reads character from legs, because the older and dumpier she is the less he cares where she sits. It is a very complex question and some day I’m going to take a whole chapter for it. Another little detail: he is much more sensitive to women’s noses than he is to men’s. I have never been able to detect that extremes or unorthodoxies in men’s noses have any effect on him, but in women’s they do. Above all he doesn’t like a pug, or in fact a pronounced incurve anywhere along the bridge.
     Mrs. Boone had a bug, and it was much too small for the surroundings. I saw him looking at it as he leaned back in his chair. So he told her in a gruff and inhospitable tone, barely not boorish…

Dusted Off: Not Quite Dead Enough by Rex Stout

The ninth installment in the series always leaves me feeling…eh. It’s not like I don’t enjoy parts of it, but it’s not Stout at his best. A lot of it feels forced actually, as if Stout felt compelled to write something in support World War II and just couldn’t find a way to work it into the series naturally.

Let me say upfront, I don’t blame Stout for falling a little flat here–while he wrote this he was working a lot to support FDR and the war effort through various means. If you haven’t read McAleer’s biography of Stout, I’d highly recommend it, particularly over this period. It makes sense that he wasn’t at his best here.

Like Black Orchid, Not Quite Dead Enough is made up of two novellas. In the first, we are introduced to Major Archie Goodwin, of Army intelligence. He’s sent to NYC to recruit his once and future boss to the effort. Wolfe’s far more interested in joining the infantry (see the quote below), and has given up the detective business and his assorted comforts and indulgences in order to train. The description of his training and his appearance at this time are worth the effort alone.

Archie uses a case that his long-time friend, Lily Rowan, was trying to get him involved with to rekindle Wolfe’s dormant detective skills as a way to move him from his focus on the infantry to intelligence. The case isn’t that interesting, really, but there are some fun characters.

The second novella, Booby Trap shows us the Major acting as Wolfe’s handler while he acts as a civilian consultant to the intelligence service. In this particular instance, Wolfe gets to play to his strength, dealing with a couple of murders of Intelligence officers investigating some fraudulent arms sales. I find it disappointing, really, but I do read it occasionally.

My lukewarm feeling toward these stories carries over to the quotes I jotted down:

Not Quite Dead Enough
[Wolfe speaking] “I am going to kill some Germans. I didn’t kill enough in 1918.”

Wolfe pronounced a word. It was the first time I had ever heard him pronounce an unprintable word, and it stopped me short.

Booby Trap
“Indeed,” I said. That was Nero Wolfe’s word, and I never used it except in moments of stress, and it severely annoyed me when I caught myself using it, because when I look in a mirror I prefer to see me as is, with no skin grafted from anybody else’s hide, even Nero Wolfe’s.

[Wolfe speaking] “Archie. I submit to circumstances. So should you.”

Dusted Off: Black Orchids by Rex Stout

Black Orchids is the ninth installment in the Wolfe/Goodwin series, and the first to not be a novel. Instead, it’s a collection of two novellas, one that shares it’s name with the book and Cordially Invited to Meet Death. For whatever reason, I kept putting this one off for years–until 2 years ago, I think. What a stupid, stupid move. These are not Stout’s best work–in character, complexity, theme or whatever–but they are just about the most entertaining entries in the corpus. I literally LOL’ed more than once the first time I read them, and a couple of times on this second read as well.

It’s no mistake that the book shares the title with the first novella–it’s the superior entry, a funny, light romp until it stops and becomes one of the grimmer entries in the corpus. Wolfe throughout is childish, peevish, calculating and, eventually, ruthless. Archie is, well, Archie.

Lewis Hewitt, a fellow orchid fanatic and sometimes ally of Wolfe’s has produced a new hybrid that Wolfe is very jealous of–some black orchids (not the most subtle of titles), and is showing them at New York’s annual flower show. Naturally disinclined to attend himself, Wolfe sends Archie down to view them, take notes on them, etc. Archie indulges him in this, fully expecting Wolfe to try something to get them.

Another exhibit at the show features a couple acting out a summer picnic, the man is okay, and the woman is so striking that Archie immediately starts calling her his fiance. Judging by the crowd that assembles at the time each day where the man naps and she washes her feet, Archie’s not the only one smitten.

Now is the time where I mention that as this is a Wolfe story, someone gets killed. Hewitt is tangentially associated with killing, enough to scare him into being open to some pressure from Wolfe regarding the hybrids.

Things remain lighter for a little while, but then as I said they get dark and morally murky. Even so, a rollicking good read that ends too soon.

The second story, has it’s moments, too. Bess Huddleston, a party planner for the obscenely rich, is being blackmailed and comes to Wolfe for help. Years before, Huddleston had insulted Wolfe’s dignity by trying to hire him to play detective at a party (she ended up settling for Inspector Cramer), nevertheless, Wolfe takes the case and sends Archie to her home to investigate.

Huddleston’s home and the inhabitants thereof are some of the strangest a reader will encounter anywhere–as is the method of murder and attempted murder that Archie stumbles into.

Unlike Black Orchids, this one was just short enough to remain entertaining. Oh, I should mention that both Fritz and Wolfe end up taking guidance in the kitchen from a (female!!) suspect–that alone makes this worth the time.

Lines that struck me as insightful/funny/revealing/whatever

from Black Orchids
I do not deny that flowers are pretty, but a million flowers are not a million times prettier than one flower. Oysters are good to eat, but who wants to eat a carload?

[Archie speaking to Wolfe] Will you kindly tell me,” I requested, “why the females you see at a flower show are the kind of females who go to a flower show? Ninety per cent of them? Especially their legs? Does it have to be like that? Is it because, never having any flowers sent to them, they have to go there in order to see any?”

[Rose Lasher speaking of Archie] “That ten-cent Clark Gable there that thinks he’s so slick he can slide uphill”

And Archie’s reaction: …her cheap crack about me being a ten-cent Clark Gable, which was ridiculous. He simpers, to begin with, and to end with no once can say I resemble a movie actor, and fi they did it would be more apt to be Gary Cooper than Clark Gable.

from Cordially Invited to Meet Death
[Wolfe speaking] There is nothing in the world, as indestructible as human dignity.”

For a cop to move persons from the house, any person whatever, with or without a charge or a warrant, except at Wolfe’s instigation, was an intolerable insult to his pride, his vanity and his sense of the fitness of things. So as was to be expected, he acted with a burst of energy amounting to violence. he sat up straight in his chair. [I cannot read that last sentence w/o chuckling]

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