Tag: Good Talk: A Memoir in Conversations

My Favorite Non-Fiction Books of 2022

Favorite Non-Fiction 2022
My 2022 Wrap up continues and now we’re on to the Non-Fiction list. While I liked a number of works that didn’t make this list, I felt strange calling them a “favorite.” So, we have 9 instead of the nigh-obligatory 10 for the second year in a row. These are the ones that stuck with me through the year; the ones I cited in conversation; that I thought about when reading something else or watching something on TV. Yeah, there’s some overlap between this list and the audiobook list from yesterday—lately, most Non-Fiction books I work through are in audiobook format. So it makes sense, even if it makes this post seem like an echo.

As always, I only put books that I’ve read for the first time on this list. I don’t typically return to NF books (outside of looking up things for one or three points), but occasionally I do—for example, The Pleasures of Reading in an Age of Distraction by Alan Jacobs would get a permanent spot on this list, were it not for this rule.

(in alphabetical order by author)

Go Back to Where You Came FromGo Back to Where You Came From: And Other Helpful Recommendations on How to Become American

by Wajahat Ali

My original post
I’m just going to remix some of what I said originally, this book was a great mix of memoir, social commentary, and satire—with a little sprinkling of a more general humor thrown in. The way he shifted between the genres was fairly seamless and quite effective—his own story (and that of his parents) were good illustrations of the societal ills he wanted to point to. Ali’s story is the kind that Americans love to tell and hear about success—even if his telling points to many of the flaws in our society. Through grit, determination, perseverance, and endurance, Ali pushes through all sorts of cultural, societal, legal, medical, and circumstantial challenges to arrive where he is. Because he believes in what we can be as a people, based on our (incredibly inconsistently applied and demonstrated) ideals and aspirations. It’s the kind of story we need to see, hear, and read more of.

4 Stars

Black Nerd ProblemsBlack Nerd Problems:
Essays

by William Evans & Omar Holmon

My original post
There are several strengths to this book—the first is the wide scope of the genres and ages of the pop culture they nerd out about. The second is the variety of the ways they express their appreciation (or lack thereof) for these cultural artifacts. Some of these essays are just silly, some are humorous, some touching, some sober—no two are alike in most ways. I wish I could write like this.

4 Stars

A World Without A World Without “Whom”: The Essential Guide to Language in the BuzzFeed Age

by Emmy J. Favilla

My original post
Sure, I disagreed with some of her takes—I’m less enamored with the idea of language as a ruleless entity than she is. But I found it impossible not to enjoy this—even when I thought Favilla was wrong about some particular note of grammar, I appreciated the way she thought about the idea and presented it. Mostly, I enjoyed reading about the process involved in creating and maintaining a style sheet for an entity as big and particular as Buzzfeed. The lists are the kind of thing I could read on a daily basis. As I wrote, “If you’re the kind of person who gets worked up about getting your phrasing juuuuuust right or are bothered when someone doesn’t. If you think reading tributes to commas and em dashes is a good time. Or if you’re curious about why someone would want to eliminate whom or is fine with letting the English subjunctive mood die…this is the book for you.”

(and, yes, I’m still planning on the tattoo inspired by the book)

3.5 Stars

The Stories Behind the StoriesThe Stories Behind the Stories: The Remarkable True Tales Behind Your Favorite Kid’s Books

by Danielle Higley, David Miles (Illustrator)

My original post
I don’t know if I read a better-designed book last year (or the year before). It’s a treat for the eyes. But more importantly, the content is as good—if not better. I can see the book appealing to (and being understood) younger readers curious about some of the books they’ve read or seen at a library. It also was entertaining and edifying for a, um, more seasoned reader familiar with almost all of the books. I was surprised by some of what I read, learned something about all but one of the 20+ books covered and walked away with a hankering to go back and read some of these.

4 Stars

Good TalkGood Talk: A Memoir in Conversations

by Mira Jacob

My original post
Okay, this was pretty well designed, too. This graphic memoir really hit me on several levels. The art is simple, but very effective. The story of Jacob’s life is one that needs to be told—for the sake of those who can relate to remember they’re not alone, and for the sake of those who can’t relate at all to help build some empathy. The framing device of trying to explain race in the U.S. to a biracial child trying to understand the world around him is much-needed, and probably more so all the time. This was more powerful than I expected (and had some great moments of lightness, too!)

4 Stars

The World Record Book of Racist StoriesThe World Record Book
of Racist Stories

by Amber Ruffin & Lacey Lamar

My original post
Back at race again…this time looking at subtle and not-so-subtle, clueless and intentional, probably well-meaning and just mean, ways that one family has to deal with racism on a day-to-day basis. There’s enough silliness to make this book endurable because there are some anecdotes here that are stunningly awful. A strong follow-up to last year’s book.

4 Stars

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible ThingFriends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

by Matthew Perry

I haven’t found time to write about this book yet, so I’m having trouble boiling things down into a concise paragraph. I’ve been a huge fan of Perry’s since episode 2 of Friends (and was a decently-sized fan based on the pilot), so I was drawn to this right away, but really wanted a break from celebrity memoirs and put off getting it until I read that the book focused so much on the “Big Terrible Thing.” There’s some stuff about his acting career—highs and lows, the usual behind-the-scenes, stuff. But this book is primarily about his mental health problems, his addictions, and the many, many ways he’s hurting himself and those around him. I wouldn’t call this a “warts and all” kind of portrayal of Perry, more of a “warts (and some other things)” look at him. There’s some hope and optimism, too, but it’s tempered.

4 Stars

How to Be PerfectHow to Be Perfect:
The Correct Answer to
Every Moral Question

by Michael Schur (Writer, Narrator)
with: Michael Schur, Kristen Bell, D’Arcy Carden, Ted Danson, William Jackson Harper, Manny Jacinto, Marc Evan Jackson, Jameela Jamil, and Todd May

My original post
This is a solid introduction to ethics and some of the major schools of thought behind contemporary approaches (with historical precedents). The kind of thing you might get in a 100-level course in college. But told in a very approachable way that will no doubt bring a smile to the reader’s/listener’s face occasionally. It’s not perfect, but it’s good. It’s thoughtful, but accessible. And it can—should?—act as a launching pad for further reading and study for those who want to dig in.

4 Stars

E.B. White on DogsE. B. White on Dogs

edited by Martha White

This is another one I haven’t had time to write about yet. I went in assuming this would be a good read—and got that. This is a collection of essays, shorter pieces, and letters written by White about (or mentioning) dogs. There are some solid gems here—honest laughs, amusing thoughts, and devotion to these animals that humans are so strongly drawn to. Readers of this blog know that I love good writing about dogs, and that’s exactly what we get here. There are a handful of things I’m not sure were worthy of including in this book other than for the sake of completeness, but I’m not going to complain.

4 Stars

Good Talk: A Memoir in Conversations by Mira Jacob: Explaining Race in the U.S. to a Child

Good TalkGood Talk:
A Memoir in Conversations

by Mira Jacob

DETAILS:
Publisher: One World
Publication Date: March 25, 2019
Format: Hardcover
Length: 349 pg.
Read Date: October 5-6, 2022
Support Independent Bookstores - Visit IndieBound.org

Sometimes, you don’t know how confused you are about something important until you try explaiing it to someone else.

What’s Good Talk About?

It’s 2014 when the book opens, Mira Jacob’s son Z is six and he’s asking Mom a lot of questions (because he’s six). They start off talking about Michael Jackson—Z is obsessed with him. Z eventually asks about Jackson’s skin color—Z is half-Jewish, half-Indian and has several questions about skin color that stem from this (and likely predate this, but what do I know) which leads to questions about race, race relations, and what he sees on the news. Jacob’s committed to being open and honest with Z, but struggles knowing how much she should say—and how optimistic she should be about the state of the US in terms of Ferguson, MO, and a lot of the rhetoric surrounding the 2016 elections.

The memoir comes in as Jacob recounts several scenes from her childhood/young adulthood that shaped her. Her parents immigrated from India in the 60s (a week before MLK was assassinated) and took up residence in Albuquerque. We get a few scenes from her childhood and teen years before moving to adulthood, dealing with misunderstandings, assumptions, and unintentional rudeness based on her background. Eventually, she finds herself in New York City trying to make it as a freelance writer and dating. This is all told with frankness and humor. The kind of humor that reminded me of Amber Ruffin/Lacey Lamar’s You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey from last year—you laugh so you don’t have to cry.

The Art

I really don’t know how to describe the art here, but this is a graphic memoir, so it’s a major component of the book. So I’d better try.

I saw someone on Goodreads use the term “mixed media,” and without researching it, I think it’s close enough to use as a description (maybe not technically right?). Please note that this is me trying to describe it, not being dismissive as it may sound. It’s like Jacob drew nice, but not fantastic, paper dolls of each character (some at different ages, others static) and put them on top of photographs or drawings of various locations and added speech bubbles.

I just saw that she has an Instagram account that uses images from the book (in addition to the regular Instagram stuff), so I figure I can “quote” something to show what I’m talking about:

This is nowhere near the kind of art that appeals to me in graphic novels/memoirs etc. Give me something dynamic, something with some flair, something I can bask in. But…this really worked for me. It helped give this a “documentary” kind of feel (don’t ask me to explain this, but it struck me that way). This isn’t about the glitz or the pictures jumping off of the page, it’s about a woman having tricky conversations with her loved ones—and complete strangers, sometimes. The focus is on the words, but the images help carry you along.

So, what did I think about Good Talk?

Sometimes, you go along with it and pretend nothing happened. Sometimes, you hold your breath until the feeling of wanting to believed passes. Sometimes, you weigh explaining against staying quiet and know they’re both just different kinds of heavy. Sometimes, when it’s your mother-in-law—a woman you started calling Mom the day you got engaged because you admired the ferocity with which she loved her children, and maybe even wanted some of it for yourself—you look ahead and see all the years of birthdays and graduations and weddings that will be shadowed by things that she can’t imagine about your life. Sometimes, you can’t hold your breath long enough.

I typed “I really enjoyed this book”, but I’m not sure that’s the appropriate response. I don’t know that supposed to enjoy this—but her style and humor are really engaging and there’s enough hope in there that it feels natural to say. I feel okay saying that this is a good read—it’ll make you think, it might make you grin, and it’ll definitely make you wince.

Right away, when Jacob goes to visit families in India and they tell her that her skin tone (darker than her parents’ or her brother’s) marks her out as not as attractive or a good prospect for marriage, you can tell she will pull no punches. And you can understand why she wouldn’t want to. It’s one of the many, many things that guys like me on Scalzi’s Lowest Difficulty Setting don’t have to think of. There are many sections of the book that hit the same way—like the chapter where she talks about being mistaken for “the help” at a party her mother-in-law was hosting. The above quotation is part of that—she decides mid-way through the conversation that she’s not going to try to explain what happened, nor argue about it. Constantly having to explain your experiences—your life—to people who don’t get it has to be a kind of exhausting that I can’t imagine.

But there’s a lot of humor and hope here, too—not all of it at the expense of clueless white folk saying dumb things. There’s the chapter about getting her dad to use marijuana to help the pain of his cancer treatment, for example. It’s funny and heart-warming. Until he dies, of course, reminding you that this isn’t that the hope is tinged with reality.

I really recommend this book—it’s a deceptively easy read, and you shouldn’t let the style or format fool you into racing through it. There’s a lot to chew on, a lot to reflect on—and a perspective that should be listened to. Even if you can’t relate to her struggles, can’t agree with her politics, and find the whole discussion unsettling. Maybe especially then.


4 Stars

This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase from it, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, the opinions expressed are my own.

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén