I had so much fun with this last year (and grew my TBR–plus a few others’), that I’m bringing it back. In the spirit of “a rising tide lifts all boats,” for Self-Published Authors Appreciation Week I wanted to give some Self-Published authors a chance to spread some love.
(They also get to do a bit of self-promotion, I mean, c’mon, it’s hard out here…)
An Elevator Pitch for Something You Love (it’s a tall building and a slow elevator in this case, but I couldn’t find anything to cut)
Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman
I’ll go with Dungeon Crawler Carl from Matt Dinniman. (I just saw that Ace Books acquired the first six books in the series in 2024, but they were originally self-published through Royal Road).
Dungeon Crawler Carl is both the first book and the name of the (currently) seven book series by Matt Dinniman. It’s around 3am on the coldest night in Seattle when the world ends. Carl’s ex-girlfriend’s prize-winning Persian cat, Princess Donut the Queen Anne Chonk just jumped out the window and Carl goes out in his boxers, a leather jacket, and his ex’s ill-fitting pink crocs to rescue her. That’s when the aliens flatten every structure with a roof, killing most of the people in the world. They announce they have claimed the Earth for mining since we didn’t protest at our nearest Syndicate office and if we want it back people will have to participate in ‘Dungeon Crawler World,’ an AI-run, 18-level dungeon constructed here. Just take one of the stairwells down to join. But each level will have half as many staircases and only one person can exit the 18th level. But when (if) they do, they recover full ownership of the Earth.
Carl is freezing, so he and Donut go into the dungeon, where they find that most of the crawlers that enter the dungeon on other worlds die long before reaching the end. In fact, the farthest anyone has gotten is the 13th level where they survived for under five minutes. Because he was one of the first to enter the dungeon with a cat, he gets a ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ achievement containing a ‘special pet biscuit’ which changes Donut into an intelligent, talking cat and a crawler, which lets them adventure together.
It’s a hilarious, vulgar, and touching series (emphasis on the first two in the first book but getting deeper and deeper as time goes on) playing with the tropes of LitRPG. While the eBooks I read first were great, I got a great deal on the first audiobook from audible and enjoyed it so much I bought the entire series in audio. I’m on my second listen. Jeff Hayes narrates the Sound Booth Theater version on Audible, and he is wonderful, but Sound Booth is also doing a full-cast audio drama (sound effects, music, the whole Magilla!) as well, which I’m going to try.
I highly recommend the series with some caveats:
- It’s vulgar. I mean Carl swears. A lot. All the f***ing time! It’s in character, it’s funny, and it’s appropriate, but if swearing bothers you, this isn’t the book for you (most likely).
- There’s some graphic violence and gore. These are people trapped in a dungeon fighting for their lives against monsters, but it can go even further than that. Some people and some monsters go beyond fighting to win and go right to violently insane.
- There’s sexual innuendo. Especially kinky kinds. The AI that runs the dungeon is a pervert (as well as being crazy) and that becomes part of the plot. In later books there’s a bit more graphic sexuality, but it’s definitely NOT porn or erotica. But if you don’t want sex mentioned in your books (and especially not in your audiobooks) this might be a problem.
I have no problems with this, although the gore can make me squirm, but it’s prominent enough I warn people about it. Read/listen to the sample to get a feel for the language. The rest doesn’t show up until later in the book/series, but you can use the amount of swearing compared to most books to get the idea of where these sit on the scale on the other two. Okay, it’s not as far on the violence/gore/sex as it is on the swearing, but it’s more than you get in the average non-serial killer/non-horror/non-romance book. I don’t know if that will help you decide, but it’s the best I can do.
My Elevator Pitch by James T. Lambert
A broken soldier tries to heal while a lost warship threatens to plunge him—and the galaxy—into more bloodshed.
Kayn Erd hates to kill. But that’s what his military training taught him: follow orders, use anything you’ve got, and kill or be killed. When his friend discovers a map to a long-lost AI battleship, he wonders if anyone can be trusted with such a weapon.
Recovering the ship will bring untold wealth and unequaled military might, but Kayn pleads with his crew to let the past stay buried. He stands torn between privateers pursuing treasure and upholding his vow to never again go to war, while others search in order to claim the prize for themselves.
Can they win the desperate race and keep it out of the wrong hands while finding who will wield this ancient power for the good of the galaxy?
Relics of War is a tense Space Opera. If you like conflicted characters, close-run quests for treasure, and the fate of the galaxy in jeopardy you’ll love James T. Lambert’s fast-paced adventure.
About this Author
James T. Lambert writes science-fiction, urban fantasy, and a little steampunk from his writing office/land yacht ‘Bertrude’. By day he breaks carefully constructed code conceived by clever coders, while by night he sorts strings of syllibant sentences for story structure. Since his first novel-length project in the 2011 NaNoWriMo, he’s been polishing his craft, working toward his overnight success after ten years. Other than writing and breaking things, Jim also enjoys reading, movies, comics, theater, boardgames, Scotch, craft beer, hot air ballooning, and having far too many hobbies. His published books include Aether Powered, Proxies, The Tao of Trek, Steam Opera, and Relics of War.
Website ~ Amazon Author Page ~ Facebook ~ Twitter ~ Instagram ~ Bluesky ~ TikTok ~ Tao of Trek
Be sure to check out Dungeon Crawler Carl and Relics of War, let’s show them both some love!
Image by Dawn Hudson/Prawny from PublicDomainPictures.net
The 2025 Self-Published Authors Appreciation Week Logo was made by Witty and Sarcastic Book Club
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