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Top Ten Tuesday: Books with Character Names In the Titles


The topic for this week’s Top Ten Tuesdays is the Top Ten Books with Character Names In the Titles

It would’ve been super easy to tap into series like Amari and the Night Brothers, Agatha H. and the Airship City, etc. Or titles that that are just a character’s name like August Snow, Betty, Taran Wanderer…I tried to go for more creative uses of a character’s name (you may disagree on what I found creative).

Top Ten Books with Character Names In the Titles

10 46% Better Than Dave
46% Better Than Dave by Alastair Puddick

Dave’s new neighbor, also named Dave, seems to be a more successful version of the titular Dave. They work in the same industry, but “new Dave” makes more money, is part of a more prestigious firm, seems friendlier—and well, title Dave does some calculations and overall, “new Dave” is 46% better. Can “old” Dave make up the difference?

My post about the book.

9 Be Frank with Me
Be Frank with Me by Julia Claiborne Johnson

Frank is a very eccentric boy with a low tolerance for anything other than unvarnished truth, which can make things pretty difficult for his new companion—a woman brought out to monitor Frank’s mother’s progress on her overdue novel.

My post about the book.

8 The Book of Joe
The Book of Joe by Jonathan Tropper

So many layers to this title—it’s a novel about Joe and it’s a novel about Joe’s book. Tropper’s second novel features a man who has to go back home to deal with the family and friends he left behind when he moved away—and deal with their reactions to the way they were depicted in a novel he wrote.

7 Fletch's Moxie
Fletch’s Moxie by Gregory Mcdonald

I liked this one because it works in a reference to Fletch’s on-again/off-again girlfriend, Moxie, and it’s a description of the moxie the intrepid former-investigative reporter demonstrates when he brings the main suspects in a murder case to a house outside the jurisdiction of the police.

My post about the audiobook.

6 Helen and Troy's Epic Road Quest
Helen and Troy’s Epic Road Quest by A. Lee Martinez

But the quest that Helen and Troy find themselves is ultimately a very sweet story, which may not be what you expect about a minotaur girl, an all-American boy, a three-legged dog, and a classic car on a road trip.

My post about the book.

5 Is Fat Bob Dead Yet?
Is Fat Bob Dead Yet? by Stephen Dobyns

Actually, I’m not sure the central question this novel tries to answer has much to do with the status of Fat Bob. But they do look into it. It’s a very strange book, and, yes, there’s a reason the beagle is smoking.

My post about the book.

4 Nice Try, Afton
Nice Try, Afton by Brent Jones

In a series about a would-be serial killer/librarian, “truce” isn’t a word that leaps to mind. But in this novella, Afton attempts to establish one. And, well, it’s a nice try.

My post about the book.

3 Ophelia Immune
Ophelia Immune by Beth Mattson

I titled my post about this book, “The feminist Zombie Book you didn’t know you were missing.” For a guy who doesn’t like Zombie books, this really worked for me. Ophelia is immune to the Zombie virus, but that doesn’t mean she has an easier time of it. It’s one of those that sticks with you, just thinking about the book to write this short paragraph has brought back the entire novel in detail that suprised me.

My post about the book.

2 The Questionable Behavior of Dahlia Moss
The Questionable Behavior of Dahlia Moss by Max Wirestone

Like the Afton books, above, I could’ve used any of the books in this mystery trilogy. Dahlia’s at her most professional in this book, yet, yeah, her behavior strikes many as questionable. A good way to close out a series that I wish was ongoing.

My post about the book.

1 Seraphina's Lament
Seraphina’s Lament by Sarah Chorn

Did I pick this one just for an excuse to use the cover again? Well, sort of, I figure if I use it a few more times, it’ll stop creeping me out. But mostly, it was one of the few that jumped to mind without me having to think about it/scan my shelves. This dark fantasy novel is both beautiful and an emotional wringer. It’s a pretty good story, too. And the slave Seraphina has every reason in the world (and a few more) to lament.

My post about the book.

Top Ten Tuesday: New-to-Me Authors I Discovered in 2021


The topic for this week’s Top Ten Tuesdays is the Top Ten New-to-Me Authors I Discovered in 2021

When I posted Top 5 Tuesday – Top 5 New Authors of 2021 a couple of weeks ago, I’d said that a Top 10 list would’ve been better for me to post, and a couple of days later I saw that this was coming up, so you know I had to do this.

Top Ten New-to-Me Authors I Discovered in 2021

(alphabetically)

10 Elizabeth Breck Elizabeth Breck

Breck’s P.I., Madison Kelly, felt like a breath of fresh air. She’s got all the characteristics of female P.I.s (see: Millhone, Warshawski, Randall, Chin, Gennaro), and makes them feel fresh and new (she also brings a few of her own to the table, too). Breck’s experience as a P.I. adds a layer of authenticity to the writing, too. But really, it’s her voice that hooked me.

In case you’re curious about what I said about the book that put her on this list, click here.

9 S.A. Cosby S.A. Cosby

After a few months of seeing the rabid hype for Blacktop Wasteland, I finally carved out time for this piece of Rural Noir and was just blown away. The novel was beautifully written, with a lyrical nature to some passages that will make you want to reread the paragraphs a few times just to take it all in. But also? It has great car scenes in case you’re worried about it being too highbrow and artsy. It took less than a paragraph for me to get why people’d been raving about the book, and I don’t see that quieting down any time soon.

In case you’re curious about what I said about the book that put him on this list, click here.

8 Janice Hallett Janice Hallett

I’ve never seen someone put together a book like this in the Crime/Mystery genre. The closest I can think of is Semple’s Where’d You Go, Bernadette. In addition to creating a very clever novel, she does a fantastic job of capturing a handful of distinct voices…and I don’t know what more to say about Hallett, really. I’m at a loss for words.

The book that put her on the list is released in the U.S. today! Now we can catch up with the rest of the world (I was able to snag a copy from NetGalley, too). In case you’re curious about what I said about it, click here.

7 Stephen Mack Jones Stephen Mack Jones

I read the first book in his series, August Snow, last summer—and I just clicked with it within a couple of pages. The voice was just perfect, his characters felt like good friends already—just ones I needed to get to know better. He also had a real gift for setting—I could see some of the locations clearly, and the food? I’m getting hungry right now. I’ll be returning to Jones and Snow early next year, and I can’t wait.

In case you’re curious about what I said about the book that put him on this list, click here.

6 Kathleen Kent Kathleen Kent

Kent’s crime debut kicks off with a near-perfect first chapter that got me to add the rest of this trilogy to my TBR. The rest of the book is almost as good. An NYPD Detective as a fish out of water in Dallas is a pretty fun idea—throw her into the middle of an investigation of a Drug Cartel with a stalker on her heels, and it’s more than a fun idea, it’s a blockbuster read.

Inexplicably, I haven’t written anything about The Dime yet, or I’d point you to it.

5 J.R.R. Lockhaven J.R.R. Lockhaven

Lockhaven’s debut is just as strange as you’d expect from someone who threw an extra “R.” into his name (Kyle Robert Redundant Lockhaven) for his fantasy debut The Conjuring of Zoth-Avarex: The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Dragon in the Multiverse. Part workplace satire, part celebration of Fantasy tropes, and part send-up of those same tropes, there’s little to criticize and a lot to celebrate in this book. I know his next book won’t be as nutty, which I will miss, but I’m curious to see it.

In case you’re curious about what I said about the book that put him on this list, click here.

4 Nadine Matheson Nadine Matheson

Matheson infuses her fiction with her experience and knowledge—one of the murders takes place near her home, which helps her bring that part of London to life in a way I don’t think I’ve seen before. Also, she’s a Criminal Solicitor, bringing an authenticity to the book that you don’t always get. I’m starting to get carried away and I have 3 other people to talk about so I’m going to shut up.

In case you’re curious about what I said about the book that put her on this list, click here.

3 Chris McDonald Chris McDonald

I’ve only read one of McDonald’s two series to date (I plan on changing that soon), and it certainly appears that the two are pretty different in style and tone. But you can’t read five books in a year by one author without it leaving a pretty strong impression on you. The Stonebridge Mysteries had strong characters, clever mysteries, and a humorous touch (without being comedies), a consistent source of entertainment throughout 2021.

In case you’re curious about what I said about the series that put him on this list, click here.

2 Fabian Nicieza Fabian Nicieza

In researching this post, I realized I’d actually met Nicieza in 1987 in Psi Force #9 from Marvel Comics. But I’m still counting this because: 1. I’d forgotten about him completely, and 2. I’m going with new-to-me-novelists. He’s written a lot of other comics in the meantime—including creating Deadpool. But now he’s turned to novel writing—his first novel was laugh-out-loud funny, with the kind of tension that seasoned pros struggle with, great characters, and some social commentary, too. Oh, yeah, and a great mystery!

In case you’re curious about what I said about the book that put him here, click here.

1 Richard Osman Richard Osman

Osman has a long résumé in all sorts of fields—none of which I was exposed to here in the U.S. But his first novel was a great way to be introduced—a great mix of meditation on grief and aging, comedy, and mystery. He writes like a seasoned pro, and I can’t wait to see what he does next.

In case you’re curious about what I said about the books that put him on this list, click here.

Top Ten Tuesday: 2021 Releases I Was Excited to Read But Didn’t Get To


The topic for this week’s Top Ten Tuesdays is the 2021 Releases I Was Excited to Read But Didn’t Get To.

Wow, I really kept up with new releases in 2021. I remembered 6 of these right off the bat, but I then had to go through a year’s worth of my Saturday Miscellany posts to find another 4 for the list. And if this was a top 12, I’d have listed every new release I made note of last year—unlike past years, where I probably left fifty untouched. Sure, I likely didn’t document another 60 or so that fell in the category “oh, wow, that looks great, I should get that” before promptly forgetting about it. But I’ll take this as a win regardless.

I’m going to try to knock off this list by May—we’ll see how that goes.

Top Ten 2021 Releases I Was Excited to Read But Didn’t Get To

10 AMORALMAN
AMORALMAN: A True Story and Other Lies by Derek DelGaudio

DelGaudio’s memoir should prove intersting, and I really don’t know what else to say until I actually open the thing. If the film In & Of Itself is anything to go by, it’ll be a compelling read, if nothing else.

9 Dreyer's English (Adapted for Young Readers)
Dreyer’s English (Adapted for Young Readers):
Good Advice for Good Writing
by Benjamin Dreyer

I’ve been looking forward to getting my hands on this one since I heard about it. I loved the “adult” version and want to see how he translates that into advice for kids (also, I can see this being easier to pass on to non-language nerd friends/family who need the help)

8 Eye of the Sh*t Storm
Eye of the Sh*t Storm by Jackson Ford

The third Teagan Frost adventure looks great (and reminds me to get my act together and read #2).

7 A War of Wizards
A War of Wizards by Layton Green

The Blackwood Saga concludes here in Book 5. I’d say I’d dive in next week, but, I still haven’t read book four.

6 Swashbucklers
Swashbucklers by Dan Hanks

This is one of those books I can’t imagine summarizing in a few paragraphs (at least without reading it first), much less a sentence. Click that link there to learn about it. Looks fun.

5 The Curious Reader
The Curious Reader:
Facts About Famous Authors and Novels |
Book Lovers and Literary Interest |
A Literary Miscellany of Novels & Novelists

edited by Erin McCarthy & the team at Mental Floss

“This literary compendium from Mental Floss reveals fascinating facts about the world’s most famous authors and their literary works.” I’ve flipped through this a little since picking it up at my bookstore, I have no idea how to describe it—or how I’m going to write about it. But it’s going to be fun trying to figure it out.

4 Fuzz
Fuzz: When Nature Breaks the Law by Mary Roach

Roach’s books always look interesting, but I haven’t gotten around to trying one. This one could change that.

3 Questland
Questland by Carrie Vaughn

Jurassic Park, but for D&D types.

2 Project Hail Mary
Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

Weir’s latest looks more like The Martian than Artemis, which should help sales, even if it seems like a cheat for him to try (looking at you, Ernest Cline).

1 hard Reboot
Hard Reboot by Django Wexler

“Kas is a junior researcher on a fact-finding mission to old Earth. But when a con-artist tricks her into wagering a large sum of money belonging to her university on the outcome of a manned robot arena battle she becomes drawn into the seedy underworld of old Earth politics and state-sponsored battle-droid prizefights.” Oh, that old chestnut…this is just such a strange collection of ideas I think I have to try it.

Top Ten Tuesday: The Ten Most Recent Additions to My Bookshelf


The topic for this week’s Top Ten Tuesdays is the Ten Most Recent Additions to my Bookshelf.

I apparently showed some strong control lately, I had to go back weeks to come up with ten entries. That’s over with, however, if I did this post again in 2 weeks, only 2 books (maximum) would be on both lists. By the time this posts, I’ll have at least started all but one of these (and will likely start that this week). That’s an astounding bit of discipline on my part.

I should probably go reward myself with a couple of books for that kind of restraint, right? Some positive reinforcement to keep that kind of discipline cooking.

10 The Nutcracker
Nutcracker by E.T.A. Hoffman

If you’re curious, here’s what I had to say about it.

9 Why Did Jesus Have to Live a Perfect Life?
Why Did Jesus Live a Perfect Life? by Brandon D. Crowe

8 Mistletoe and Crime
Crime and Mistletoe by Author

If you’re curious, here’s what I had to say about it.

7 Risen
Risen by Benedict Jacka

If you’re curious, here’s what I had to say about it.

6 The Hobbit
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien, Andy Serkis (Narrator)

5 A Private Investigation
A Private Investigation by Peter Grainger, Gildart Jackson (Narrator)

4
The Story Retold: A Biblical-Theological Introduction to the New Testament by G. K. Beale and Benjamin L. Gladd

This was the ONLY book I was given over this past holiday season. (sending a glare to friends and family). I’ve been looking forward to getting into this for months, it’s going to be a project-read for a bit.

3
Curious Dispatch by Chris McDonald, Stephen Armstrong (Narrator)

If you’re curious, here’s what I had to say about the print version.

2
And Your Enemies Closer by Rob Parker, Warren Brown (Narrator)

1 Where the Drowned Girls Go<
Where the Drowned Girls Go by Seanan McGuire

Top Ten Tuesday: Characters I’d Love An Update On

Yes, I’m posting two separate Top X Lists today—just the way it worked out. I haven’t done either a Top 5 Tuesday or a Top Ten Tuesday in a long time, but today’s prompt from both sounded fun…so, why not?)



The topic for this week’s Top Ten Tuesdays is the Characters I’d Love An Update On (Where are they now that the book is over?).

This was a fun exercise, and one I could repeatI could easily do two or three more of these.

Top Ten Characters I’d Love An Update On

In no particular order, just as they occurred to me:

10

Leroy Brown (from the Encyclopedia Brown books by Donald J. Sobol)

I’m curious what he’s like as a grown-up. What did he do with his life? Join the police, the FBI? Become a professor? Go on Jeopardy! and clean up? Go live a quiet life as an accounant somewhere and just read a lot of true-crime? Now that I’ve started thinking about it, I haven’t been able to stop. I seriously need to know this.

9

Tabitha-Ruth “Turtle” Wexler (from The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin)

We got a good look at grown-up T.R. in the closing pages of the novel, but I’d like to see more of her in action as an adult. Turtle was one of my favorite characters as a kid (and I still have a soft-spot for her), I’d love to see more of her.

8

Patrick Kenzie/Angie Gennaro (from Dennis Lehane’s series)

Yeah, it’s technically two characters. But since they were both titular protagonists, I figure they qualify as one entry (also, getting an update on one would involve an update on the other anyway). I realize that Moonlight Mile served as one given the 11 year gap between it and Prayers for Rain. But it’s been 10 years, and I’d like another update.

7

Albert (from A Key, an Egg, an Unfortunate Remark by Harry Connolly)

I don’t remember his last name and haven’t had time to look it up, his aunt’s last name was Jacobs, maybe that’s it. The novel didn’t demand a sequeland Connolly’s flat-out said he doesn’t have one in mindbut I would enjoy oneat least a novella-length thing. I liked the guy (eventually) and am curious how things worked out for him after these events.

6

Clay Jannon (from Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan)

Really, anyone from that book, but I figure there are more stories to tell with Clay (and we spend more time with him than anyone else, so, gimme more)

5

Rae Spellman (from The Spellman Files by Lisa Lutz

From the instant we meet her in the first book, Rae felt like someone who could carry her own seriesand she just got more interesting from there. I’d love to know what happened to her from her mid-20s on.

4

Doug Parker (from How to Talk to a Widower by Jonathan Tropper)

I could probably go for an update from just about any Tropper characters (anything to get him back to novels!), but Doug’s always been my favorite and I’d like to see that life worked out for him.

3

Carol Starkey (from Demolition Angel, and then a couple of the Elvis Cole novels by Robert Crais)

It really looked like Crais was going to do something with Starkey in the Cole novels, and he either abandonded that idea or just hasn’t gotten around to following through yet. Even when she showed up in the Cole books, I thought that Crais under-used her. She deserves better.

2

Tres Navarre (from Rick Riordan’s adult series)

I don’t know that there were many more stories to tell with Tres, but I thought there was a little more gas in the tank before Riordan realized he could make a lot more money by being the USA’s answer to J. K. Rowling.

1

Jane Eyre (from, well, duh)

I’d love to see what Jane’s like given a loving and supportive environment, a mission in life, and a stable place to livejust any kind of stability in her life, really.

Top Ten Tuesday: Books I’d Want With Me While Stranded On a Deserted Island


The topic for this week’s Top Ten Tuesdays is the Books I’d Want With Me While Stranded On a Deserted Island.

If I could pre-plan the books to have on me when I crash on a deserted island, these would be the ones to keep me sane and entertained (didn’t the daughter in Inkheart basically do that?). This was one of the quickest posts that I’ve ever compiled. Which says something about how much these books mean to me, I think. Also, they’re largely books I haven’t touched since I started this blog. In fact, other than mentioning them frequently, I’ve written posts about very few of these (two, actually). Maybe that should be a challenge I set myself…hmmmmm……

Anyway, by all rights, there should be a novel by Rex Stout on this list, but trying to pick just one would’ve induced an aneurysm. Or at least it felt like it. I might be able to come up with a Deserted Island Rex Stout list, but beyond that, there’s just no way.

Books I’d Want With Me While Stranded On a Deserted Island

1 to 10 plus The Complete Wheel of Time
The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson

Because when else am I ever gonna have the time to read this?

I’m Just Joshin’ Ya, Here’s the Real List:

(but seriously, when else am I going to?)

10 Jane Eyre
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

One of the few “required texts” from High School I’ve reread several times for pleasure.
9 Dead Beat
Dead Beat by Jim Butcher
The seventh Dresden Files novel was the first I read, and probably my 2nd Favorite. I’d say Changes, but I don’t want to do that to myself if I’m stranded with no one to talk to.
8 The Snapper
The Snapper by Roddy Doyle

Yes, The Commitments is more fun. The Van is technially a “better” novel. But … something about the second in the trilogy that just gets to me.
7 To Kill a Mockingbird
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Probably the other “required text” that I’d re-read given the excuse. Entertaining, inspiring, convicting…it’s the whole package. I have a line from it tattooed on me, I have no idea how my daughter escaped being named Scout…I could keep going here.
6 The Westing Game
The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin

My mother brought this library book home to me once when I was super sick (I think a librarian that new me recommended it). I have read it countless times since, and can’t imagine not doing so. I also have no idea how my daughter escapted being named Tabitha-Ruth “Turtle.”
5 Cyrano de Bergerac
Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmund Rostand (I’d probably specify the Hooker translation)

If I tried to talk about this one, I wouldn’t know how to stop.
4 The Name of the Wind
The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

I’m at the point now that I don’t care if we get book three or not. I got to read this a few times, and that’s enough for me.
3 Early Autumn
Early Autumn by Robert P. Parker

I’ve re-read the first 15 or so Parkers enough that I’ve lost count, but I’ve probably returned to this one the most often.
2 How to Talk to a Widower
How to Talk to a Widower by Jonathan Tropper

Not Tropper’s best, not the first I read, or anything else. I honestly can’t explain this choice, but it’s one of the first to come to mind on this list.
1 Dawn Patrol
Dawn Patrol by Don Winslow

The most entertaining Winslow novel that I’ve read. The first chapter is perfect. Absolutely, no two ways about it, perfect. The rest comes close to the Platonic ideal, too.

What Do You Think, Sirs?

Top Ten Tuesday: Ten Book Titles That Sound Like They Could Be Crayola Crayon Colors

Top Ten Tuesday
The topic for this week’s Top Ten Tuesdays is Book Titles That Sound Like They Could Be Crayola Crayon Colors.

It’s been 11 months since I’ve done one of these (for no real reason), but this topic was so…strange that I had to try it. I’d like to say that I could describe what these particular crayons would look like, but if I could describe subtle nuances of color, I’d be writing things for book blogs to talk about, not writing about books for my blog. I got some input from my daughter, but I probably should’ve asked for more, this is her area.

Book Titles That Sound Like They Could Be Crayola Crayon Colors
(in no order whatsoever)

10
White Noise by Don DeLillo
I’m thinking this is a white with little specks of gray/black, like a TV tuned to a dead channel (for those who are of a certain age), or maybe Cookies and Cream ice cream. A fitting visual depiction of the variety of external stimuli and odd notions that combine into the titular white noise.
9
Bloody Rose by Nicholas Eames
Maybe this is too on-the-nose, but I’m thinking the deepest, darkest red—almost black. Like if you took a red rose and super-saturated it with, well, blood. I haven’t read it yet (don’t ask me why, I don’t have a good reason), but I’m thinking that Rose spends a good deal of time pretty saturated with blood.
8
The Salmon of Doubt by Douglas Adams
So salmon is sort of a pinkish-orange, right? So start with that and then add a little gray for doubt. Which, I guess sounds like fish that’s been left in the fridge for too long and you no longer want to cook with it. A pretty unappealing idea, but that’s a fairly specific color. An odd enough idea, that it might appeal to Dirk Gently, the protagonist of the incomplete novel that lends its title to the book.
7
Across the Green Grass Fields by Seanan McGuire
It’s right there in the name, isn’t it? Green Grass Fields. Don’t think I could improve on it. (well, maybe the mixers at Crayola could figure out how to add a dew-like glisten, I think that’d be a nice touch).
6
Jade City by Fonda Lee
What would concrete made with jade as the aggregate look like? That’s what comes to mind here. That’s not what the novel makes you think of at all, but it fits for a crayon, I think.
5
Woad to Wuin by Peter David
Obviously, you start with a good blue woad (yeah, that’s a tautology, shhh). But then the wuin, sorry, ruin brings up ideas of browns or grays. Leaving me with a muddy blue, I guess. It’s been a couple of decades, but I believe that’s a decent description of ol’ Apropos of Nothing: muddy blue.
4
Domestic Violets by Matthew Norman
I’m thinking this is a nice, comfortable violet. Which is not really in the spirit of the book, but it fits the name.
3
Lethal White by Robert Galbraith
Part of me wanted to try to look up the description of the horse that described this way in the book, but as anyone who’s read it knows, that’s just too much effort for a jokey post. So instead, I’m leaning toward a white. A bright, intense, burn-your-retina white. Except safe for kids and their crayons.
2
Jane Steele by Lyndsay Faye
Steel-gray is your base, but I was stuck after that. My daughter offered, “The color you’re missing from Jane Steele is a red. Idk why but Jane makes me think of some sort of red.” I don’t get a red off of Jane (maybe because there’s no way that “plain Jane Eyre” would go for red). But, Jane Steele is a murderer, I remembered. Nothing says murderer like red (except, I guess, a fancy prose style).
1
Burning Chrome by William Gibson
A gleaming, bright orange chrome is what my minds-eye conjures up here. Shiny and bright (and hot), like most of the stories in that book.

Top Ten Tuesday: Top 10 Opening Lines


The topic for this week’s Top Ten Tuesdays is Opening Lines.

Part of what made cutting last week’s Top 5 Opening Lines down to just five was that I knew this was coming. I let myself go a little long with these, hopefully not annoyingly so. These may not be the best openings I’ve ever read, but they’re the most memorable.

10 White Noise

White Noise by Don DeLillo

This is just one of those novels that imprinted on me in ways I don’t fathom, and it all started like this.

The station wagons arrived at noon, a long shining line that coursed through the west campus. In single file they eased around the orange I-beam sculpture and moved toward the dormitories. The roofs of the station wagons were loaded down with carefully secured suitcases full of light and heavy clothing; with boxes of blankets, boots and shoes, stationery and books, sheets, pillows, quilts; with rolled-up rugs and sleeping bags; with bicycles, skis, rucksacks, English and Western saddles, inflated rafts. As cars slowed to a crawl and stopped, students sprang out and raced to the rear doors to being removing the objects inside; the stereo sets, radios, personal computers; small refrigerators and table ranges; the cartons of phonograph records and cassettes; the hairdryers and styling irons; the tennis rackets, soccer balls, hockey and lacrosse sticks, bows and arrows; the controlled substances, the birth control pills and devices; the junk food still in shopping bags—onion-and-garlic chips, nacho things, peanut creme patties, Waffelos and Kabooms, fruit chews and toffee popcorn; the Dum-Dum pops, the Mystic mints.

I’ve witnessed this spectacle every September for twenty-one years. It is a brilliant event, invariable. The students greet each other with comic cries and gestures of sodden collapse. Their summer has been bloated with criminal pleasures, as always. The parents stand sun-dazes near their automobiles, seeing images of themselves in every direction. The conscientious suntans. The well-made faces and wry looks. They feel a sense of renewal, of communal recognition. The women crisp and alert, in diet trim, knowing people’s names. Their husbands content to measure out the time, distant but ungrudging, accomplished in parenthood, something about them suggesting massive insurance coverage. This assembly of station wagons, as much as anything they might do in the course of the year, more than formal liturgies or laws, tells the parents they are a collection of the like-minded and the spiritually akin, a people, a nation.

9 The Violent Bear It Away

The Violent Bear It Away by Flannery O’Connor

O’Connor’s the perfect mix of Southern sensibility, Roman Catholic worldview, and glorious prose.

FRANCIS MARION TARWATER’S uncle had been dead for only half a day when the boy got too drunk to finish digging his grave and a Negro named Buford Munson, who had come to get a jug filled, had to finish it and drag the body from the breakfast table where it was still sitting and bury it in a decent and Christian way, with the sign of its Saviour at the head of the grave and enough dirt on top to keep the dogs from digging it up. Buford had come along about noon and when he left at sundown, the boy, Tarwater, had never returned from the still.

The old man had been Tarwater’s great-uncle, or said he was, and they had always lived together so far as the child knew. His uncle had said he was seventy years of age at the time he had rescued and undertaken to bring him up; he was eighty-four when he died. Tarwater figured this made his own age fourteen. His uncle had taught him Figures, Reading, Writing, and History beginning with Adam expelled from the Garden and going on down through the presidents to Herbert Hoover and on in speculation toward the Second Coming and the Day of Judgment.

8 The Doorbell Rang

The Doorbell Rang by Rex Stout

I could’ve filled this list with Stout beginnings. But I limited myself to this one.

Since it was deciding factor, I might as well begin by describing it. It was a pink slip of paper three inches wide and seven inches long, and it told the First National City Bank to pay to the order of Nero Wolfe one hundred thousand and 00/100 dollars. Signed, Rachel Bruner. It was there on Wolfe’s desk, where Mrs. Bruner had put it. After doing so, she had returned to the red leather chair.

7 Dead Beat

Dead Beat by Jim Butcher

The first words I read by Butcher, got me hooked but good.

On the whole, we’re a murderous race.

According to Genesis, it took as few as four people to make the planet too crowded to stand, and the first murder was a fratricide. Genesis says that in a fit of jealous rage, the very first child born to mortal parents, Cain, snapped and popped the first metaphorical cap in another human being. The attack was a bloody, brutal, violent, reprehensible killing. Cain’s brother Abel probably never saw it coming.

As I opened the door to my apartment, I was filled with a sense of empathic sympathy and intuitive understanding.

For freaking Cain.

6 Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

This was the hardest cut from last week’s list, but I just can’t resist the moocow.

You don’t know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain’t no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth. That is nothing. I never seen anybody but lied one time or another, without it was Aunt Polly, or the widow, or maybe Mary. Aunt Polly—Tom’s Aunt Polly, she is—and Mary, and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book, which is mostly a true book, with some stretchers, as I said before.

Now the way that the book winds up is this: Tom and me found the money that the robbers hid in the cave, and it made us rich. We got six thousand dollars apiece—all gold. It was an awful sight of money when it was piled up. Well, Judge Thatcher he took it and put it out at interest, and it fetched us a dollar a day apiece all the year round—more than a body could tell what to do with. The Widow Douglas she took me for her son, and allowed she would sivilize me; but it was rough living in the house all the time, considering how dismal regular and decent the widow was in all her ways; and so when I couldn’t stand it no longer I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied. But Tom Sawyer he hunted me up and said he was going to start a band of robbers, and I might join if I would go back to the widow and be respectable. So I went back.

5 A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce

I remember in our English class in High School when we were assigned this book, pretty much no one was interested. When Mr. Russo passed out the paperbacks, a few of us flipped it opened and read these first words—and suddenly we were open to the idea (didn’t last long for all of us, but that’s beside the point, we’re focused on the opening lines here). It’s stuck with me for almost 30 years, that’s gotta say something.

Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming down along the road and this moocow that was coming down along the road met a nicens little boy named baby tuckoo….

4

Neuromancer by William Gibson

This sentence was love at first glance for me. Still love it. Naturally, no one knows what color this is referring to anymore.

The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.

“It’s not like I’m using,” Case heard someone say, as he shouldered his way through the crowd around the door of the Chat. “It’s like my body’s developed this massive drug deficiency.” It was a Sprawl voice and a Sprawl joke. The Chatsubo was a bar for professional expatriates; you could drink there for a week and never hear two words in Japanese.

Ratz was tending bar, his prosthetic arm jerking monotonously as he filled a tray of glasses with draft Kirin. He saw Case and smiled, his teeth a webwork of East European steel and brown decay. Case found a place at the bar, between the unlikely tan on one of Lonny Zone’s whores and the crisp naval uniform of a tall African whose cheekbones were ridged with precise rows of tribal scars. “Wage was in here early, with two joeboys,” Ratz said, shoving a draft across the bar with his good hand. “Maybe some business with you, Case?”

Case shrugged. The girl to his right giggled and nudged him.

The bartender’s smile widened. His ugliness was the stuff of legend. In an age of affordable beauty, there was something heraldic about his lack of it.

3

The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler

Oft-parodied. Oft-imitated. Often-celebrated. Does it get better than this?

It was about eleven o’clock in the morning, mid October, with the sun not shining and a look of hard wet rain in the clearness of the foothills. I was wearing my powder-blue suit, with dark blue shirt, tie and display handkerchief, black brogues, black wool socks with dark blue clocks on them. I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn’t care who knew it. I was everything the well-dressed private detective ought to be. I was calling on four million dollars.

The main hallway of the Sternwood place was two stories high. Over the entrance doors, which would have let in a troop of Indian elephants, there was a broad stained-glass panel showing a knight in dark armor rescuing a lady who was tied to a tree and didn’t have any clothes on but some very long and convenient hair. The knight had pushed the vizor of his helmet back to be sociable, and he was fiddling with the knots on the ropes that tied the lady to the tree and not getting anywhere. I stood there and thought that if I lived in the house, I would sooner or later have to climb up there and help him. he didn’t seem to be really trying.

2

Harry Potter and the Sorceror’s Stone by J. K. Rowling

Why bother saying anything here?

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense.

1

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.

Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.

This planet has—or rather had—a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn’t the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.

And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches.

(half-baked) Top Ten Tuesday: The Ten Characters I’d Follow On Social Media


The topic for this week’s Top Ten Tuesdays is the Ten Characters I’d Follow On Social Media.

I’m posting this even though I’m not really done with it, because…well, it’s a Tuesday thing, right? I intended to add at least a couple of sentences saying why I’d want to follow them, but ran out of time. But I put enough time narrowing down this list to the magic 10, that I wanted to get some value out of it.

10 Kirby Baxter from Duncan MacMaster’s mystery series.
9 Beast from Faith Hunter’s Jane Yellowrock series (who incidentally has a great Facebook page that I do follow).
8 Molly Carpenter from Jim Butcher’s The Dresden Files
7 Lon Cohen from Rex Stout’s Nero Wolfe/Archie Goodwinseries.
6 Peter Grant from Ben Aaronovitch’s The Rivers of London series.
5 Nina Hill from The Bookish Life of Nina Hill by Abbi Waxman
4 Nell Ingram from Faith Hunter’s Souldwood series (if she talks about food primarily).
3 Stephanie Plum‘s Grandma Mazur from Janet Evanovich’s books.
2 Oberon from Kevin Hearne’s Iron Druid Chronicles/Oberon’s Meaty Mysteries
1 Ford Prefect from Douglas Adams’s The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy

Top Ten Tuesday: The Ten Most Recent Additions to My Bookshelf


The topic for this week’s Top Ten Tuesdays is the Ten Most Recent Additions to my Bookshelf.

This was a little harder than it could’ve been — I’ve had weeks where I could’ve made this list with a week’s worth, but I actually had to dig back all the way to December! (Actually, that’s kind of a relief, maybe I’ve found a bit of restraint when it comes to buying.) I’ve read a whole 4 of these (will probably start one more this week), which doesn’t say great things about reducing my TBR pile.

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