Have I Told You This Already?: Stories I Don’t Want to Forget to Remember by Lauren Graham: The Actress-Essayist Does It Again

Have I Told You This Already?:
Stories I Don’t Want to
Forget to Remember

by Lauren Graham

DETAILS: 
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Publication Date: November 15, 2022
Format: Hardcover
Length: 186 pg.
Read Date: December 12, 2022 

It’s almost as if I’m sending mixed messages, like valuing privacy whilst also being the author of a second book of personal essays.

What’s Have I Told You This Already? About?

This is a collection of essays—mostly personal—about Graham’s career (or things surrounding it) during various stages, some thoughts on filming a TV show and directing, and there’s one essay that’s devoted to just being funny.

She reflects on aging, friendship, making marmalade, and the ridiculous things that women in Hollywood have to do to maintain certain standards of appearance. She opens the book talking about memory and story-telling—where accuracy is necessary and where details can fudged because it makes a story better, and ends up with a tribute to New York City.

Whoops

I should’ve been patient and waited for the audiobook to become available. There’s nothing wrong with reading the paper version of this book—it’s perfectly charming and Graham’s voice shone through.

But.

Hearing it in her actual voice (not just what I assume it would sound like)—a few passages in particular—would be so much better. I listened to her previous book of essays (and the graduation speech) and I think this would’ve been more entertaining in audio format.

So, what did I think about Have I Told You This Already??

He said this as if his memory of the matter was not at all disturbed by something as inconsequential as fact. For years, my father told the same story about how a momentous occasion felt to him; the facts had faded over time, maybe because they weren’t the most relevant part of the day. Sometimes we polish an experience to make facts line up more closely with feelings or exaggerate moments to make a better dinner party tale. And sometimes, mercifully, details become blurry over time, maybe because the sharp reality is too painful to carry.

This was a fast and breezy read. Graham’s really skilled as a writer and her prose sings. She’s funny as you want her to be. The closing paragraph of the second essay is a work of comedic art, a string of puns that I couldn’t believe she was able to keep going as long as she is. I’m never going to quote any part of it—but I’m telling you, it was great.

There were a couple of chapters that didn’t do much for me—the chapter on various health retreats or the chapter on NYC as a friend (although I thought it was some of her strongest writing). And a couple that I was surprised I enjoyed as much as I did—like the chapter about her relationship with the department store, Barney’s. The chapter where she uses Nora Ephron’s essay, “I Feel Bad About My Neck,” to talk about aging in the Entertainment industry, was particularly effective.

Even the essays that underwhelmed me were well written, and I could see what she was trying to do—they just didn’t connect with me–but I found something to grin about or chuckle at in them. The essays that did click with me made me laugh (sometimes a lot). The rest fell somewhere between—but they were all funny (when intended to be), and I’m glad I read them all.

At the same time, I need to stress that this is not all comedy. There are some real emotions and some thinking behind some of these essays—and it’ll provoke some, too. I think in the end you get more comedy than anything else, but it wouldn’t take much for the balance to go the other way.

She has a real gift for a killer last line, too. Openings are important, but with essays of this length (especially if you’re going for comedic), a great last line is essential, and Graham knows what she’s doing there.

In the end, this was a very pleasant and engaging read that makes me really want to see more from her (which goes for pretty much everything she’s written). When her novel was published, I picked it up because I was curious about what this actress could do—I’ve picked up the 3 works since because I like the way she writes. This collection works as evidence that we should maybe think of Graham as a writer who can act.

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