The Ballad of Bonaduke—
Episode 18: The Takedown
DETAILS: Series: The Ballad of Bonaduke, #18 Format: Kindle Vella Story Read Date: March 17, 2023
I heard the beeps of their radios as the shouts of “Gas!” became intermixed with the sound of wood and fists against riot shields. Then deep fear as, pop, pop, pop, the sound of guns going off. I ducked, covering my head with hands that wouldn’t stop shaking.
Please tell me those are rubber!
The Story So Far…
A drunken Michael Bonaduke decides to use a grift (with maybe some sort of magic/magic-like “help”) to win on a scratch-off lottery ticket so he has money to buy more to drink. He pulls off whatever he did, gets his money and some booze and stumbles off into the darkness to drink himself into oblivion so he can start again the next day. He’s hit by dark memories (probably what’s driving him to the drinking) of fire, pleading, and screaming. There’s going to be a price to pay for his grift, and he’s trying to be ready.
Before then, he gets himself drunk and we get some of his tragic backstory. As he ponders this, he decides to use some of his ill-gotten-gains to buy more booze and walks into a liquor store robbery. He foils it in some sort of magical fashion, gets some more to drink, and heads off to the park to drink until he’s arrested (probably for the failed robbery). At least that’s his plan, but it gets interrupted by being hit by a car. He wakes up on some sort of short, metal bed and is unsure what’s going on. It turns out that some group is subjecting him to a test—if he passes, everything will be explained to him (and hopefully the reader, too). He passes—and is brought somewhere for answers, or maybe training, or maybe another test. Time will tell (or things are going to get really annoying). Answers aren’t quick to come—but the mysteries and questions keep piling up.
Things get hairy and Bonaduke leaves and finds himself back in the neighborhood he started from. Taking refuge in a homeless encampment, Bonaduke has to make some decisions. He starts to get his thoughts in order when the police begin a raid at the camp.
What’s The Takedown About?
There’s a big action scene involving the police raiding the camp—Carp is looking out for Bonaduke, if the police get him, he’s in for worse than whatever they have in mind for the homeless. So he arranges for Bonaduke to get away—and Bonaduke takes him up on it.
While the camp is decimated, a few people are beaten, and his escorts disappear, Bonaduke almost makes it out of the park only to be detained by a couple of detectives. He tries to evade them but gets detained.
As their car pulls away, Bonaduke realizes that this isn’t a department-issued vehicle. These aren’t detectives, and things are getting worse for him.
So, what did I think about The Takedown?
There’s a paragraph or two that needed editing—it was just hard to understand the details of what was happening—but I got the gist (I just hate to have to slow down and decipher things in the middle of an action scene).
Still, this is a great improvement. Action’s good in a story that really doesn’t have a defined plot arc yet. Hopefully, this propels us into something that will start to resemble a plot. Slaywood’s still being coy with answers, and that’s okay. I just hope we start to get something concrete and can leave vague pronouns and allusions behind and start using titles and names.
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