We all know we’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover (yet, publishing companies spend big bucks on cover design/art and we all do judge them that way). But, the opening sentence(s)/paragraph(s) are fair game. So, when I stumble on a good opening (or remember one and pull it off the shelves), I like to throw it up here. This one grabbed me with the voice and the humor–this was not going to be your typical book about philosophy.
from Nasty, Brutish, and Short: Adventures in Philosophy with My Kids by Scott Hershovitz:
“I nee a philosopher.” Hank was standing in the bathroom, half-naked.
“What?” Julie asked.
“I nee a philosopher.”
“Did you rinse?”
“I nee a philosopher,” Hank said, getting more agitated.
“You need to rinse. Go back to the sink.”
“I nee a philosopher!” Hank demanded.
“Scott!” Julie shouted. “Hank needs a philosopher.”
I am a philosopher. And no one has ever needed me. I rushed to the bathroom. “Hank, Hank! I’m a philosopher. What do you need?”
He looked puzzled. “You are not a philosopher,” he said sharply.
“Hank, I am a philosopher. That’s my job. What’s bothering you?”
He opened his mouth but didn’t say anything. “Hank, what’s bothering you?”
“DER’S FOMETHING FUCK IN MY FEETH.”
A flosser. Hank needed a flosser—one of those forked pieces of plastic with dental floss strung across it. In retrospect, that makes sense. A flosser is something you could need, especially if you are two and your purpose in life is to pack landfills with cheap pieces of plastic that provided a temporary diversion. A philosopher is not something that people need. People like to point that out to philosophers.
Read Irresponsibly, but please Comment Responsibly