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Opening Lines – The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom

We all know we’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover (yet, publishing companies spend big bucks on cover design/art). But, the opening sentence(s)/paragraph(s) are fair game. So, when I stumble on a good opening (or remember one and pull it off the shelves), I’ll throw it up here. Dare you not to read the rest of the book

—–

Prince Charming is afraid of old ladies. Didn’t know that, did you?
Don’t worry. There’s a lot you don’t know about Prince Charming: Prince Charming has no idea how to use a sword; Prince Charming has no patience for dwarfs; Prince Charming has an irrational hatred of capes.
Some of you may not even realize that there’s more than one Prince Charming. And that none of them are actually named Charming. No one is. Charming isn’t a name; it’s an adjective.
But don’t blame yourself for your lack of Prince Charming-based knowledge; blame the lazy bards.

from The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom by Christopher Healy

Dusted Off: Prayers for Rain by Dennis Lehane

Prayers for RainPrayers for Rain by Dennis Lehane
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

better than Sacred, but not as good as the rest of the series. Some of the character development was more of a reset to pre-Gone, Baby, Gone status. How odd was it that Bubba was the only character to really have any growth?

Patrick Kenzie talks often of his tiring of the PI biz, not sure if he had it in him any more, it wasn’t fun. How much of this is Patrick and how much is Lehane speaking through him? Tough call. ‘tho the decade or so that Lehane took away from the series is a pretty good hint, I think.

Good read, creepy bad guy, with an iffy ending. Still better than many things I’ve read this year, while not Lehane’s best.

Dusted Off: Moonlight Mile by Dennis Lehane

Moonlight Mile (Kenzie & Gennaro,#6)Moonlight Mile by Dennis Lehane
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I don’t think I’ve the original context of the remark, but I’ve seen it often enough that I don’t doubt the veracity. But at some point Dennis Lehane characterized his Kenzie/Gennaro series as the kind of books that a guy in his twenties would write, as an explanation for why he’d moved on. Now, first of all, I don’t blame a guy for not wanting to get stuck in a rut, to only write one thing his entire life (no matter how good he is at it). But that always struck me as an uncharacteristically dumb thing to say. What’s that say about 1. the authors outside of their 20s who are writing the same kind of thing and 2. those of us out of our 20s who like to read that kind of thing.

Frankly, I thought that Shutter Island was more like something a guy in his 20s would write (particularly the ending) than anything else he wrote.

But hey, it’s his opinion, and he’s entitled to it — as long as he writes things more interesting than The Given Day (which, to be fair, I haven’t been able to get too far into, it’s fully possible that if I’d read another two pages, I’d have loved it).

Still, imagine my surprise when I learned that a new Kenzie/Gennaro book was coming out.

It’s a lighter read than the previous five books in the series, but it still carries that trademark Lehane punch. This book sure seems like a self-conscious attempt to stress the fact that our heroes, like the author, aren’t in their twenties. They’ve aged, matured, get tired more easily want nothing to do with the violence that so marked their younger years. They’re not the only ones who aged, Amanda McCready, the kidnapped girl from Gone Baby Gone is missing again, and again, he aunt calls upon Kenzie to find her.

By the end, Lehane takes his characters to an interesting (and predictable place) that probably closes the door to future installments — not unlike what Riordan did to Tres Nevarre and what Koryta may have done to his PIs. I hope it’s not the last I see of these two, but can understand why it would be.

In the end, a satisfying read. Better than many PI novels that came out this year, but not as good as it could’ve been.

Dusted Off: Gone, Baby, Gone by Dennis Lehane

Gone, Baby, Gone (Kenzie & Gennaro, #4)Gone, Baby, Gone by Dennis Lehane
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Kenzie and Gennaro are hired by the aunt of a missing 4 year old girl, who’s been missing so long that good news is almost impossible. Following a trail started by her worthless mother leads the pair and the police to drug dealers (small time and large), child molesters and other monsters and a tangled web so intricate that it makes what the protagonists have been through before seem like a picnic.

This book was my first exposure to Lehane, and turned me into a devotee for life (probably). Even though I’ve read this 4-5 times, it had me on the edge of my seat, and got me choked up and horrified by the evil depicted.

Best.Thing.He’s.Written. (not that I’ve read the new one yet)

Dusted Off: Sacred by Dennis Lehane

Sacred (Kenzie & Gennaro, #3)Sacred by Dennis Lehane
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Easily the weakest Kenzie/Gennaro book, and I don’t know why. On this, like every other, re-read, I’ve tried to a. convince myself I really like this one or b. put my finger on what seems wrong with this one, and I can’t do either.

Drives me crazy.

Oh well, Gone, Baby Gone is up next.

Dusted Off: Darkness, Take My Hand by Dennis Lehane

Darkness, Take My Hand (Kenzie & Gennaro, #2)Darkness, Take My Hand by Dennis Lehane
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I’ve read this 4 or 5 times now, still got tense at all the right spots (thankfully, it was the middle of the day this time so I wasn’t quite as jumpy as usual). Pretty sure that’s a sign of an author who knows what he’s doing. Not the best of the series, which isn’t taking away anything from this one, just saying how good some of the others (like Gone, Baby Gone) are.

Dusted Off: A Drink Before the War by Dennis Lehane

A Drink Before the War (Kenzie & Gennaro, #1)A Drink Before the War by Dennis Lehane
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

wanted to read these before #5 comes out next month, just to get back in that world–it’s been too long since I’ve read a Lehane I liked. Took me less than a page to remember why I got into Kenzie/Gennaro, and within 5 it was like I’d been reunited with a long-lost love. This is a great read–the language, the plot, the characters…really can’t ask for more.

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: An English Professor’s Journey Into Christian Faith by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: An English Professor's Journey Into Christian Faith
The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: An English Professor’s Journey Into Christian Faith by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is simply one of the best books I’ve read this year — in years, actually. It’s billed as her account of her conversion — and after all the articles about/interviews with Butterfield, you might begin to think that there’s no point reading it, you already know her story.

But this is about more than just her conversion experience — nothing so limited as that. It’s about a conversion that’s a complete renovation of a sinner, bringing all her thoughts into subjection of the Scriptures — being transformed by the renewing of her mind. In Luther’s terms a lifetime repentance (“When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said, ‘Repent’ (Mt 4:17), he willed the entire life of believers to be one of repentance. . . it does not mean solely inner repentance; such inner repentance is worthless unless it produces various outward mortification of the flesh.”).

Some of the parts I’ve seen the most complaints about are just that, strangely enough, while Christians enjoy/appreciate the story of her coming to faith, it’s harder to appreciate her working out her faith in fear and trembling. Whether it’s about her coming to her convictions about worship, or her work as a foster/adoptive parent, or her husband’s pastoral work — it’s about the Lord transforming her, renovating her character. As such, her life is an example for all believers.

Beyond that she has some powerful and wise words for how the church ought to treat homosexuals (any unrepentant sinner, really). As well as what she says about her current sins in comparison to her former life. It’s powerful, moving, inspiring and convicting.

She has a way with words, and can enthrall her reader even as she’s retelling events you know about before starting the book. She’s honest about her past, but doesn’t revel in details, there’s no sensationalism here. It’s a great book, useful on several levels. May the Lord give us many more Rosaria Champagne Butterfields.

Across the River and into the Trees by Ernest Hemingway

Across the River and into the Trees
Across the River and into the Trees by Ernest Hemingway
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

It’s like a December-May version of the movie Before Sunrise. Except instead of Ethan Hawke, you have a bitter ex-General (now Colonel) in the US Army with some sort of terminal cardiac condition. And instead of Julie Delpy, you have a young, selfish, stupid/naive girl (or at least one who acts stupid and naive). The relationship between the two is so skeevy that you can imagine that some reviewer came up with the word just to describe this. Okay, so it’s actually nothing like Before Sunrise in that it’s very talky and the couple spends the time bouncing around a European city.

There’s practically nothing redeeming about this novel — there are flashes of Hemingway’s brilliance. Occasionally — very occasionally — the couple’s dialogue is dynamite. The conversations the Colonel has with a portrait of the girl are almost completely superior and more interesting. You have sentences like

The Colonel breakfasted with the leisure of a fighter who has been clipped badly, hears four, and knows how to relax truly for five seconds more.

You can’t hate a book that contains things like that — as much as you might want to.

It’s books like this that make me wonder if I’m just not as savvy a reader as I think, that all the literature courses I took were a waste. This was just pointless — and not in an artistic, or even Seinfeld-esque manner. The conclusion was typical for Hemingway, and broadcast for about 90% of the book. And then you get the infuriating last line, which I’ll be honest, I don’t get. Was it supposed to be funny? Nihilistic? Something else? By this point, I couldn’t bring myself to care enough to get it.

Flashes of brilliance like I said, but not enough to warrant the time or effort involved. Spare yourself.

Saturday Miscellany – 8/3

Odds ‘n ends over the week about books and reading that caught my eye. You’ve probably seen some/most/all of them, but just in case:

      This Week’s New Releases I’m Excited About and/or You’ll Probably See Here Soon:

    • Kitty in the Underworld by Carrie Vaughn
    • — Kitty’s series is one of the first Urban Fantasy series I read, and remains one of my favorites. This is an auto-buy. I don’t even bother to check the titles or book description, just see a new publication date and buy it.

    • The Darwin Elevator by Jason M. Hough
    • — I’ve heard nothing but praise for this one, really looking forward to it

    • Three by Jay Posey
    • — can’t remember how this got on my radar, but it looks really good

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