I guess one of the drawbacks to doing nothing with your life is that you’re never quite sure when you’ve accomplished it.
– Jonathan Tropper
Plan B
Author: HCNewton Page 620 of 625
Subject A:Renowned curator Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted archway of the museum’s Grand Gallery. He lunged for the nearest painting he could see, a Carravagio. Grabbing the gilded frame, the seventy-three-year-old man heaved the masterpiece toward himself until it tore from the wall and Saunière collapsed backward in a heap beneath the canvas.
Subject B:In the history of the world there have been lots of onces and lots of times, and every time has had a once upon it. most people will tell you that the once upon a time happened in a land far, far away, but it really depends on where you are. The once upon a time may have been just outside your back door. It may have been beneath your very feet. It might not have been in a land at all but deep in the sea’s belly or bobbing around on its back.
One of these is the first paragraph of a “Juvenile” novel that will never make the author famous. One of these is from a record-selling novel that received mega-press. One is imaginative, clever; the other seems paint-by-numbers. One is something I wish I could write; the other I could whip off in a few minutes.
In short, one is good. The other, not.
Poor, poor William Gibson. 
It apparently wasn’t enough for Hollywood to take his groundbreaking short story, “Johnny Mnemonic,” and turn it into 1995’s Keanu Reeves’ nightmare. Nope.
Today’s SciFi Wire reports:
Hayden Christensen (Jumper) may star in a proposed film based on William Gibson’s seminal cyberpunk novel Neuromancer.
Citing an anonymous source, the site reported that Christensen would play Case,the hacker at the center of the story.
Christensen–that automaton that made people think, “You know, that Jake Lloyd wasn’t such a bad little actor…”–playing Case??!? It’s just wrong.
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
Next thing I’ll be reading that Larry the Cable Guy has been cast as Ender Wiggin…
I’ve wanted to read Neil Gaiman’s novels for quite some time now–really enjoyed the first edition of Don’t Panic, but have never been able to get past page 30 of one of his novels. But I figured after the great experience I had with Stardust, I’d be able to plow my way through the novel. Honestly, not sure I needed the movie, I was hooked almost right away by the style–I’d probably just picked the wrong books before.
But anyway, I’m a shade under a third of the way through the book and already I’m pretty glad I watched the movie first, because I might’ve gotten pretty darn annoyed with the radical changes already made (although I must say that on the whole, they were necessary to get a well-made movie on the screen–this isn’t a book that allows for an easy adaptation). Still, it’s another case of the book being better than the movie.
Which got me to thinking…which books were worse than their movie adaptations? Surely there’ve been some. Off the top of my head I sorta think that Altman’s M*A*S*H was superior to the novel by Hooker (if only for the fact that it cut out all the Trapper John as Jesus nonsense). Some movies are just about as good as the books/stories they were based on, some are hardly recognizable…that’s practically a cliche to point out. But I know there are some movies that do a better job telling their story than the book did. Just can’t think of any at the moment. Can you?
Okay, I realize my post last week on TV has probably got some of you thinking I’ve turned my brain completely off and become nothing but a tube watching vegetable. Never fear, am still literate. Here’s a quick sample of things I’ve been reading, just haven’t had the energy to write anything long on…
Boomsday by Christopher Buckley
– I’ve read all but one or two of Buckley’s novels, and it’s fair to say he’s my favorite satirist. In Boomsday, he takes on the impending failure of Social Security (particularly timely as the first Baby Boomer applied for SS benefits this past week). Political blogger and PR rep Cassandra Devine (a disciple of a disciple of Thank You for Smoking‘s Nick Naylor), has dedicated her off-hours life to the issue. After accidentally inciting riots at retirement homes/golf courses, she proposes a plan for older Americans to help out their children and grandchildren by choosing to “transition” from this life to the next. In return for this, transitioners would receive large tax benefits. Throw this idea into a presidential campaign featuring a rich fire-brand, an incumbent overseeing too many foreign wars and a horrible economy, a prolife evangelist (who may or may not have killed his mother) and hilarity ensues.
Buckley’s novels tend to run away from him–he generally loses control (think those rickety coal carts at the end of Temple of Doom) towards the end. His last few novels have shown a lot of improvement in this area–and I think this is his best ending yet. Best novel he’s written–but the characters and satire aren’t his best (but they’re nothing to complain about, either). Give this one a B+/A-
The Deader the Better by G. M. Ford
– The latest (last?) installment in the Leo Waterman series, is definitely the darkest. About half-way through this novel Leo stops going about this the way he normally does and instead assembles a team of criminals to start a major sting/blackmail operation. It bugged me while reading it, and by the time it was over, it bugged me a lot. I can’t really put my finger on it, but it didn’t feel like Leo, more like one of Spenser’s weaker escapades. The romantic subplot really worked for me, as did the b-plot with the runaway, but the A-plot…eh. I really hope that Ford gets back to this series so I can see how he’s going to take things with Leo’s love life–part of me is glad to see him risking the status quo; but the other part of me really likes Rebecca as a character, and I’d rather see more of her than less. But mostly I want to see if Ford continues to take this series in the darker direction this novel heads down (and his newer series seems to take), or if he lets Leo return to being Leo. Personally, I hope he takes the latter route–I miss the fun Elvis Cole (not that I totally mind the darker Elvis), don’t want to lose the fun Leo, too.
Falling Man by Don DeLillo
– I really wanted to like this book–DeLillo’s one of my favorites. But this thing? Blah. This is DeLillo’s take on 9/11 and the aftermath. The scenes about the protagonist leaving the scene of the WTC attacks, and those showing how his son and his friends are reatcing to the attacks–those are really well done. And there were sentences, or paragraphs, that were great to read. But on the whole, this was a dreary novel, about dreary people reacting to horror in a dreary way. Worst thing I’ve read by him–which is strange, as many critics hail it as one of his best–who knows, maybe bluewoad’s rubbing off on me.
How to Talk to a Widower by Jonathan Tropper
– Tropper delivers yet another fun novel about a young man dealing with death (and how often can you say that?). This time, Tropper’s protag married an older woman with a teenage son. A plane crash cuts short their life together and now the widower has to put his life without her together. Of course, the teenage son is a complication that he’s not ready for. Tropper’s characters frequently have a strong woman character as friend/love interest (no matter how taboo). This time a twin sister takes care of the friend part of the equation–and is one of the more interesting characters he’s created. The quirky disfunctional family is along for the ride–the father, of course, being the most screwed up (not that mom is that together). Tropper doesn’t miss a beat, hit a wrong note, or flub the rhythm once in this book. Charming, funny, bleak, and hopeful. Probably his best work to date.
Leepike Ridge by N. D. Wilson
– Wilson proves that you don’t have to be named J. K. Rowling to write children’s fiction that’s worth reading if you’re over 13. Good, imaginative, adventure story. Wilson’s got a natural (genetic?) way with words, that he’s honed well–would likely be a pleasure to read even if the plot and characters were weak.
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
– This one’s a “Young Adult” novel, which again, puts me out of the target audience. Ooops. Actually, I think the target is teenage girls, so I’m really out of the target. Really don’t care. Meyer can tell a story. Even if the story is an implausible love story about a loner teen girl and a vampire whose Byronic personality is on loan from a Bronte novel. Probably one of the better vampire novels I’ve read (and I seem to be reading a lot of them lately for no apparent reason).
I’m assuming by now you’ve all heard that J. K. Rowling outed Dumbledore in Australia last week. Now obviously, I’m not going to be excited by this–but I’m not going to use this an excuse to rant about the morality of a fictional character. One of the strengths of the series was that every character was flawed, they all did heroic things (well, except You Know Who and some of his cohort), and they all acted foolishly and immorally. Dumbledore was no exception to this at all. So adding one more sin to his list really doesn’t affect what I think of him.
And that’s what bothers me the most about what Rowling did–it doesn’t really add to, or detract from, the character. There’s one attraction in his youth, apparently unrequited, which has really no affect whatsoever on the events in the series. So was this just Rowling needing to get her name in the headlines again? (not sure I buy that) Her trying to make some sort of political statement? (eh, maybe). I’m not sure, it seems so purposeless, senseless to do this.
Now, is Deckard a Replicant or not? That makes a difference. Is Hobbes really alive or a stuffed toy? That makes a difference. This? I just don’t see how it matters. No more than knowing what third-world country Fez is from.
Then John C. Wright weighs in on the issue, and helps me see another problem with her announcement (Fabio Paolo Barbieri’s comments are great, as well). Potter fans, take a second or and read ’em.
H/T: Thanks, bluewoad for catching the typo.
Finally got around to picking up Ken Jennings‘ book, Braniac: Adventures in the Curious, Competitive, Compulsive World of Trivia Buffs at the library. Only made it through the first couple of chapters before I fell asleep tonight (the main book I’m reading at the moment, Nanny State, has been hijacked by TLomL). This promises to be a very fun read–best first chapter I’ve read in ages.
Got a hankerin’ to start watching Jeopardy! again for some reason…
I’m done. And to steal a phrase from Nero Wolfe, all I have to say for the moment is, “Most satisfactory.”
Cracked this open for the first time last night, shortly after my shift started. At 6:25, when I had to take care of some end-of-shift chores, I had 100 pages left.
100 pages!!!
My kingdom for another 40 minutes!
Betcha can’t guess why we were there…

(Obviously, it was the large Magic Tree House display in the kids’ section that drew us)