Okay, after putting it off for months, I finally got around to reading the paperback I bought last year. Then a friend got me the audiobook—and I had to see if Hays was as great as everyone said. So I did both versions in a month. Which isn’t how I usually do things, but sometimes…
Dungeon Crawler Carl
by Matt Dinniman, read by Jeff Hays
DETAILS: Series: Dungeon Crawler Carl, #1 Publisher: Ace; Audible Studios Publication Date: December 30, 2025; January 28, 2021 Format: Paperback, Audiobook Length: 427 pg.; 13 hrs., 31 min. Read Date: June 9-11, 2026; June 26-30, 2026
“Not everything will be social commentary.”
“It’s usually just stupid,” I muttered.
“It’s entertainment,” Mordecai said.
What’s Dungeon Crawler Carl About?
For the maybe 5 of you who haven’t learned this (inadvertently or purposefully), after living amongst us for decades, an alien race nearly wipes out the human race in an instant. Every human being—or physical object, plant, or animal—that was in an enclosed space was crushed when those buildings flattened. Those who survived were given the opportunity to enter a Dungeon to compete in a Hunger Games sort of reality show for several alien races to watch.
Sadly, for Carl, he only survived this because he was outside to catch his ex-girlfriend’s cat in the middle of the night. As he thought this would be a quick dash outside, he was wearing a jacket, t-shirt, boxers, and his girlfriend’s Crocs. Somehow, he didn’t realize he’d be in these clothes—and only these clothes—for (possibly) the rest of his life.
On the other hand, Carl is a veteran of the Coast Guard with plenty of experience in explosives, who worked as a marine technician in Seattle before the Dungeon.
The series is about he and that cat doing everything they can to survive the Dungeon.
Grand Champion, Breed Winner Regional, National Winner Princess Donut the Queen Anne Chonk
Cats are assholes. I get it. But do you know why people like cats, despite their asshole-ness? It’s because they don’t fucking talk. If they did, and they were all like you, they’d all be extinct because we’d have killed you all by now.
Ignoring my mild allergy, I’m not anti-cat. I’m just ambivalent about them. It generally comes across as a vague dislike (especially if I’m not ignoring my mild allergy). And when it comes to fictional Felis catus representation, I’m ambivalent at best.
So imagine my surprise when I’m about halfway through this book when I have to confess to my cat-loving daughter that there’s a good chance that my favorite new character of the year is a particular tortoiseshell Persian cat—”one of those fluffy, flat-faced cats that look like they need to be sitting on the lap of a Bond villain.” Okay, her surprise was bigger than mine.
Princess Donut is just so much fun—well, at least once she eats the Enhanced Pet Biscuit which turns her into a talking, sentient cat with plenty of memories of her life before the Dungeon (mostly to Carl’s consternation). She soon picks up the ability to hurl magic missiles from her eyes.
She is vain, she is mildly manipulative when it comes to Carl, her charisma score enables her to charm just about every NPC they encounter (and she does okay with the rest, too). Thanks to her history of competing in cat shows, she’s a natural when it comes to dealing with the media.
And…I don’t know…she’s got buckets of je ne sais quoi and I can’t get enough of her. I’m not sure I trust her choice in pets (she adopts a baby velicraptor-like creature toward the end of the book), but I can’t see how that won’t prove to be hilarious down the road (just seeing some fan art online assures me of that).
One Monster Description That Tells You a Lot About the Book
Part of a collective mind intent upon destroying any semblance of scientific progress in the universe, the Krakaren is the only communal brain entity in the galaxy who actually gets stupider as time moves on. Consisting of multiple, shrieking tentacles, members of the Krakaren cooperative spend their days birthing their disease-laden minions, creating and selling harmful products, attempting to debate scientific experts, and proselytizing to the weak-minded, all in an attempt to… Well, nobody knows what the hell their end goal is. Even Eris, Goddess of Chaos, doesn’t want anything to do with these crazy assholes.
(was this essentially me reaching to find an excuse to post that quotation? Yes. But also…it really does give you the flavor of the prose, humor, and strangeness of the monsters)
A Quick Word about the Narration
Jeff Hays is on his way to being my favorite audiobook narrator. He’s got stiff competition, but after two books, he’s got a shot at knocking people like Lorelei King, Gildart Jackson, Luke Daniels, and Ray Porter off the podium.
His choice to base Carl’s voice off of (and his performance of it) was inspired. His portrayal of Princess Donut is dynamite. And the way he does every other character is great.
If this is how polished he is with the first book—I can only imagine he’ll be fantastic once he gets some experience with Dinniman’s characters and style.
So, what did I think about Dungeon Crawler Carl?
If we get to the point where we don’t help each other anymore, that’s when we stop being human.
I really do think that it’s possible to dig deep with a lot of this book, to sink your teeth into it and see that Dinniman is accomplishing a lot and has a lot to say.
It’s also entirely possible to shutdown all your critical faculties and just have a blast with this book.
Both are totally appropriate ways to enjoy this (well, that’s true of just about every book—but it feels truer here).
I’m going to try to dig deeper when I get to future installments. But for now, I’ll just note that this is more than just jokes and killing things and leave it at that.
Dinniman draws on a bunch of video games, Douglas Adams, The Hunger Games, The Running Man, Ready Player One to create this world—and that would be enough, but when you add in his particular brand of humor and heart…I tell you what, that’s just great stuff.
If you, like me, have held off from this for whatever reason you have. Reconsider it. This is one of the most entertaining books I’ve read in ages, and I’m counting down the days until they finally release book two in paperback (and/or I decide to pay for the hardcovers).
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