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Opening Lines – My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry

Head & Shoulders used to tell us that, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” That’s true for wearing dark shirts, and it’s especially true for books. Sometimes the characters will hook the reader, sometimes the premise, sometimes it’s just knowing the author — but nothing beats a great opening for getting a reader to commit. This is one of the better openings I’ve read recently. Would it make you commit?

Every seven-year-old deserves a superhero. That’s just how it is. Anyone who doesn’t agree needs their head examined.

That’s what Elsa’s granny says, at least.

Elsa is seven, going on eight. She knows she isn’t especially good at being seven. She knows she’s different. Her headmaster says she needs to “fall into line” in order to achieve “a better fit with her peers.” Other adults describe her as “very grown-up for her age.” Elsa knows this is just another way of saying “massively annoying for her age,” because they only tend to say this when she corrects them for mispronouncing “déjà vu” or not being able to tell the difference between “me” and “I” at the end of a sentence. Smart-asses usually can’t, hence the “grown-up for her age” comment, generally said with a strained smile at her parents. As if she has a mental impairment, as if Elsa has shown them up by not being totally thick just because she’s seven. And that’s why she doesn’t have any friends except Granny. Because all the other seven-year-olds in her school are as idiotic as seven-year-olds tend to be, but Elsa is different.

She shouldn’t take any notice of what those muppets think, says Granny. Because all the best people are different–look at superheroes. After all, if superpowers were normal, everyone would have them.

from My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry by Fredrik Backman

It was really hard to stop where I did, I wanted to use the first three pages, but am pretty sure that it’d get me in copyright trouble.

Opening Lines – If I Fall, If I Die

We all know we’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover (yet, publishing companies spend big bucks on cover design/art). But, the opening sentence(s)/paragraph(s) are fair game. So, when I stumble on a good opening (or remember one and pull it off the shelves), I’ll throw it up here. Dare you not to read the rest of the book

The boy stepped Outside, and he did not die.

He was not riddled with arrows, his hair did not spring into flame, and his breath did not crush his lungs like spent grocery bags. His eyeballs did not sizzle in their sockets, and his heart’s pistons did not seize. No barbarian lopped his head into a blood-soggy wicker basket, and no glinting ninja stars were zinged into his throat.

Actually, incredibly: nothing happened–no immolation, no blood-bath, no spontaneous asphyxiation, no tide of shivery terror crashing upon the shore of his heart–not even a trace of his mother’s Black Lagoon in his breath.

Somehow Will was calm.

from If I Fall, If I Die by Michael Christie

September 2015 Report

So, here’s what happened here in September.

Books Read:

A Well-Ordered Church A Red-Rose Chain Who Let The Dog Out?
3 Stars 4 1/2 Stars 3 Stars
Last Words Witches of Lychford The Fraud
4 1/2 Stars 3.5 Stars 3.5 Stars
Covenant's End The Devil Wins Time Salvager
4 Stars 4 1/2 Stars 3 Stars
Calvin's Doctrine of the Word and Sacrament Changeless The Drafter
4 Stars 3.5 Stars 5 Stars
Make Me Yes, My Accent Is Real The Scam
5 Stars 3 Stars 4 Stars
Hexomancy As the Crow Flies Life Together
4 Stars 3.5 Stars 2 1/2 Stars
How to Write a Novel</a Are We Together?    
3 Stars 3 Stars    

Still Reading:

The Christian In Complete Armour Indexing: Reflections The Aeronaut’s Windlass

Reviews Posted:

How was your month?

August 2015 Report

So, here’s what happened here in August.

Books Read:

Spell or High Water The Loveliness of Christ Enjoy Your Prayer Life
3 Stars 5 Stars 3 Stars
God's Love The Redeemers Veiled
2 Stars 4 1/2 Stars 4 Stars
Go Set a Watchman Texts from Jane Eyre Seconds
? ? ? ? ? 3 Stars 3.5 Stars
Mercy Revealed Underground Hell is Empty
3 Stars 4 Stars 4 Stars
Hostile Takeover The Van Canon Revisited
4 Stars 4 Stars 4 1/2 Stars
Provoke Not The Children
3 Stars

Still Reading:

The Christian In Complete Armour Indexing: Reflections A Well-Ordered Church

Reviews Posted:

How was your month?

The Most Useless Page Ever?

Is there anyone holding this book in their hands that needs to be given this information? Why waste the ink?
Also by Harper Lee
“Oh, To Kill a Mockingbird, huh? Never heard of it. Wonder if it’s any good.”

Obviously, there are people who haven’t heard of the Mockingbird — but none of them are going to be tempted to pick up Go Set a Watchman.

Now, the question is, once the initial furor/money-grab over this new book has died down, are there going to be future printings of Mockingbird printed with an “Also by Harper Lee” page? And if so, will the font size be legible?

At this point, I’ve got a little less than a hundred pages to go in the book, and I have no idea what I think of it. Individual sentences or paragraphs? I have very strong opinions about some of them.

But the novel?

I just don’t know.

July 2015 Report

Overall, this was a frustrating month — didn’t get quite enough read as I wanted to. Read a couple of stinkers. And I didn’t write nearly as much as I wanted to. Oh well. A couple of these reads (Armada, Kitty Saves the World, Thank You, Goodnight, Re Jane, for example) made up for the others.

Here’s what happened to here in July:

Books Read:

Thank You, Goodnight Stay God, Adam, and You
4 1/2 Stars 2 1/2 Stars 3 Stars
Re Jane Armada Murder Boy
4 Stars 5 Stars 1 Star
 The Message of the General Epistles in the History of Redemption: Wisdom from James, Peter, John, and Jude Kitty Saves the World Scents and Sensibility
4 Stars 4 1/2 Stars 4 1/2 Stars
The Library at Mount Char Junkyard Dogs Connected: Living in the Light of the Trinity.
? ? ? ? ? 3.5 Stars 3 Stars
Theological Fitness Luckiest Girl Alive
3 Stars 4 Stars

Still Reading:

The Christian In Complete Armour

Reviews Posted:

How was your month?

Pre-Release Thoughts on Go Set a Watchman

Go Set a WatchmanDoing my weekly grocery shopping today, I noticed that some eager-beaver stockperson had put out Go Set a Watchman already. Now, I don’t normally buy food and books at the same place — but, c’mon! A day early, a few bucks off, how could I not?

Well, pretty easily, it turns out. The sales system wouldn’t let me purchase the book. It kept saying, “Do Not Sell.” The clerk tried every trick she knew, the manager who was innocently passing by only to get roped into helping her did, too. I asked, “Is it maybe because the book is being released tomorrow?” Light bulbs went off over their heads — yeah, that was it. Probably. It was as good a guess as any.

So, I thanked them for their efforts and went away with just the food I was supposed to get.

Still, having it in my cart — in my hot little hands got me thinking for a minute. More than a minute, actually. I don’t remember the last time I thought that much about a book before I actually, you know, read it. This was the literary equivalent to being a ticket holder to The Phantom Menace pre-release showing (yup, I had one, and I missed the show — don’t ask, it’s a long, embarrassing story with the punchline of me buying two sets of tickets to that letdown). As formative as the book was for me (and many), there’s just as many ways this could go wrong as…well, The Phantom Menace. Except, this time we’re all braced for it not being that good.

Right? I mean, no one expects another To Kill a Mockingbird, do they? It’s mostly a question of how big a let down is this going to be. Are we going to end up wishing that Lee had been dead for a few decades before this saw the light of day, so she wouldn’t have to witness the backlash? Or is it just going to be mildly disappointing? A “close, but no cigar” kind of thing.

But with it there in my shopping cart, I started to wonder. . . Dare I hope? Is there a chance that it’s actually good? After all of us wishing for decades that she’d put out a body of work as good/almost as good as Mockingbird, but resigned to reality — are we now going to be lamenting anew her small literary output?

I know reviews are starting to come in — I’ve managed to avoid them all so far (but it’s getting harder). I never bother with preview chapters of anything — they’re never enough. So all of this may be moot — I don’t know, and probably won’t until sometime Wednesday at this rate. But, I gotta tell ya, I’m nervous — with just a hint of eager anticipation.

What about you? Are you going to read it? Are you going to jump on it, or take a wait and see approach? Do you expect a big disappointment?

June 2015 Report

So, here’s what happened here in June.

Books Read:

Three Parts Dead I Am Princess X The Fold
4 1/2 Stars 4 1/2 Stars 4 Stars
How to Start a Fire Paw and Order Premonitions
4 Stars 3 Stars 4 Stars
Crossed Blades Splintered Long Black Curl
3.5 Stars 4 Stars 5 Stars
A Neglected Grace The Rebirths of Tao The True Doctrine of the Sabbath
3 Stars 4 1/2 Stars 5 Stars
Shame Interrupted The Dark Horse Uprooted
2 Stars 3.5 Stars 5 Stars
Lois Lane Fallout Top Secret Twenty-One Mormonism 101
3.5 Stars 3 Stars 3 Stars
Rejoicing in Christ
4 Stars

Still Reading:

The Christian In Complete Armour Thank You, Goodnight

Reviews Posted:

How was your month?

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Kickback
(yeah, there were other things — a beach, family, aquariums, sea critters, and not enough alcohol — involved, too)

Gone Readin’

Nothing new here today, spending the day reading. I should probably be spending the day writing, but this sounds more fun. And my TBR list/stack/pile/mountain isn’t going to take care of itself.

Back tomorrow.

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