There’s a great temptation here for me to go crazy. I’ll refrain from that and just list some of his best lines . . .
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
“What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?”
“You ask a glass of water.”
(I’m not sure why, but this has always made me chuckle, if not actually laugh out loud. It’s just never not funny)
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Life, the Universe, and Everything
There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying.
The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
(It goes on for quite a while after this — and I love every bit of it.)
“Dull?” . . .
“Yes,” said Slartibartfast, “staggeringly dull. Bewilderingly so. You see, there’s so much of it and so little in it.”
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
You’d probably guessed that anyway. The Census report, like most such surveys, had cost an awful lot of money and told nobody anything they didn’t already know — except that every single person in the Galaxy had 2.4 legs and owned a hyena. Since this was clearly not true the whole thing eventually had to be scrapped.
“Life,” he said, “is like a grapefruit.”
“Er, how so?”
Well, it’s sort of orangy-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy the middle. It’s got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast.”
“Is there anyone else out there I can talk to?”
“Why’s this fish so bloody good?” he demanded, angrily.
“Please excuse my friend,” said Fenchurch to the startled waitress. “I think he’s having a nice day at last.”
Mostly Harmless
Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency
(I’ve often been tempted to get a tattoo of this)
The Last Chance to See
He looked at me as if I were stupid.
“You die, of course. That’s what deadly means.”
