Tag: Archie Goodwin

Archie Goodwin on Voting

It’s Election Day in the U.S. tomorrow, so I thought I’d share this little bit from Archie Goodwin to commemorate it.

Archie GoodwinThe most interesting incident Tuesday morning was my walking to a building on Thirty-fourth Street to enter a booth and push levers on a voting machine. I have never understood why anybody passes up that bargain. It doesn’t cost a cent, and for that couple of minutes, you’re the star of the show, with top billing. It’s the only way that really counts for you to say I’m it, I’m the one that decides what’s going to happen and who’s going to make it happen. It’s the only time I really feel important and know I have a right to. Wonderful. Sometimes the feeling lasts all the way home if somebody doesn’t bump me.

–Archie Goodwin
from A Family Affair

Happy Birthday, Archie!

My nearly annual tribute to one of my favorite fictional characters (if not my all-time favorite). I’ve got to do an overhaul to this soon, but it is slightly updated and tweaked from two years ago.

Archie GoodwinOn Oct. 23* in Chillicothe, Ohio**, Archie Goodwin entered this world—no doubt with a smile for the pretty nurses—and American detective literature was never the same. He’s the narrator (and, I’d argue protagonist) of the questionably named Nero Wolfe mysteries. While the eccentric and overweight genius might be what brings people to the series, it’s Archie’s wit, attitude, and snappy narrative voice that brings people back.

* About 34 years ago, no matter what year it is that you read this.
** Although, in Too Many Women, we read: “Your father’s name is James Arner Goodwin, and you were born in Canton, Ohio, in nineteen-fourteen. Your mother’s maiden name was Leslie. You have two brothers and two sisters.” Stout claims that the PI who looked into Archie got it wrong.

When my aunt first gave me a Nero Wolfe book to read, she sold me on the Wolfe character, but when I read it, I wasn’t so sure that I liked the guy. But his assistant? He was cool. Sure, it didn’t take me long to get into Wolfe, but Archie’s always been my favorite. Since I was in Middle School, if I was suffering a slump of any kind (reading, emotional, physical), time with Archie Goodwin could get me out of it. There were a few years that when I got sick, I’d grab a Nero Wolfe novel to help me get through it (along with the Vitamin C and Chicken Noodle soup), and you can’t tell me it didn’t work. Noted critic Jacques Barzun says it well:

If he had done nothing more than to create Archie Goodwin, Rex Stout would deserve the gratitude of whatever assessors watch over the prosperity of American literature. For surely Archie is one of the folk heroes in which the modern American temper can see itself transfigured. Archie is the lineal descendant of Huck Finn.

While Archie’s about as far from a teetotaler as you can get, to commemorate his birthday, I’m toasting him in one of the ways I think he’d appreciate most—by raising a glass of milk in his honor.

Who was Archie? Archie summed up his life like this:

Born in Ohio. Public high school, pretty good at geometry and football, graduated with honor but no honors. Went to college two weeks, decided it was childish, came to New York and got a job guarding a pier, shot and killed two men and was fired, was recommended to Nero Wolfe for a chore he wanted done, did it, was offered a full-time job by Mr. Wolfe, took it, still have it.” (Fourth of July Picnic)

Long may he keep it. Just what was he employed by Wolfe to do? In The Black Mountain he answers the statement, “I thought you was a private eye” with:

I don’t like the way you say it, but I am. Also, I am an accountant, an amanuensis, and a cocklebur. Eight to five you never heard the word amanuensis and you never saw a cocklebur.

In The Red Box, he says

I know pretty well what my field is. Aside from my primary function as the thorn in the seat of Wolfe’s chair to keep him from going to sleep and waking up only for meals, I’m chiefly cut out for two things: to jump and grab something before the other guy can get his paws on it, and to collect pieces of the puzzle for Wolfe to work on.

In Too Many Women, he’s a bit more concise and describes himself as the:

heart, liver, lungs and gizzard of the private detective business of Nero Wolfe, Wolfe being merely the brains

In Poison a la Carte (and echoed in Bullet for One and If Death Ever Slept), he describes his job as:

[Wolfe’s] assistant detective and man Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday

In Black Orchids, he reacts to an insult:

…her cheap crack about me being a ten-cent Clark Gable, which was ridiculous. He simpers, to begin with, and to end with no one can say I resemble a movie actor, and if they did it would be more apt to be Gary Cooper than Clark Gable.

Over at The Thrilling Detective, he’s described this way:

If Goodwin hadn’t gone to work for Wolfe, he’d certainly have his own agency by now (and temporarily does, in one novel). Far more of a traditional eye, Goodwin is a tough, handsome guy with a photographic memory, a .32 under his well-tailored suit (and sometimes an extra .38 in his overcoat pocket), and a well-developed appreciation for the ladies. And, in the opinion of more than a few cops, officials and stuffed-shirt executives, a mouth that ought to be nailed shut permanently. (Wolfe isn’t immune either–part of Goodwin’s job, as he sees it, is needling the fat man into taking cases, if only to make sure the bills get covered.) He’s not the deductive genius that Wolfe is, but a smart and tenacious op with a good right hook, and a decent and personable man. Most of all, in his narration of the books, he’s a helluva storyteller; it’s his view of the world, and his interaction with Wolfe, that keeps us coming back for each new mystery.

Archie’s Corner at The Wolfe Pack has more details..

I’m not the only Archie fan out there:

  • Someone pointed me at this post, The Wit and Wisdom of Archie Goodwin. There’s some really good stuff here that I was tempted to steal, instead, I’ll just point you at it.
  • Robert Crais himself when writing an introduction to a Before Midnight reprint, devoted it to paying tribute to Archie—one of the few pieces of anything written that I can say I agree with jot and tittle.

In case you’re wondering if this post was simply an excuse to go through some collections of Archie Goodwin quotations, you wouldn’t be totally wrong…he’s one of the fictional characters I like spending time with most in this world—he’s the literary equivalent of comfort food. So just a couple more great lines I’ve quoted here before:

I would appreciate it if they would call a halt on all their devoted efforts to find a way to abolish war or eliminate disease or run trains with atoms or extend the span of human life to a couple of centuries, and everybody concentrate for a while on how to wake me up in the morning without my resenting it. It may be that a bevy of beautiful maidens in pure silk yellow very sheer gowns, barefooted, singing “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning” and scattering rose petals over me would do the trick, but I’d have to try it.

I looked at the wall clock. It said two minutes to four. I looked at my wrist watch. It said one minute to four. In spite of the discrepancy, it seemed safe to conclude that it would soon be four o’clock.

I shook my head. “You’re flattering me, Inspector. I don’t arouse passions like that. It’s my intellect women like. I inspire them to read good books, but I doubt if I could inspire even Lizzie Borden to murder.”

She turned back to me, graceful as a big cat, and stood there straight and proud, not quite smiling, her warm dark eyes as curious as if she had never seen a man before. I knew damn well I ought to say something, but what? The only thing to say was ‘Will you marry me?’ but that wouldn’t do because the idea of her washing dishes or darning socks was preposterous.

“Indeed,” I said. That was Nero Wolfe’s word, and I never used it except in moments of stress, and it severely annoyed me when I caught myself using it, because when I look in a mirror I prefer to see me as is, with no skin grafted from anybody else’s hide, even Nero Wolfe’s.

If you like Anglo-Saxon, I belched. If you fancy Latin, I eructed. No matter which, I had known that Wolfe and Inspector Cramer would have to put up with it that evening, because that is always a part of my reaction to sauerkraut. I don’t glory in it or go for a record, but neither do I fight it back. I want to be liked just for myself.

When a hippopotamus is peevish it’s a lot of peeve.

Among the kinds of men I have a prejudice against are the ones named Eugene. There’s no use asking me why, because I admit it’s a prejudice. It may be that when I was a in kindergarten out in Ohio a man named Eugene stole candy from me, but if so I have forgotten all about it. For all practical purposes, it is merely one face of my complex character that I do not like men named Eugene.

It was nothing new for Wolfe to take steps, either on his own, or with one or more of the operatives we used, without burdening my mind with it. His stated reason was that I worked better if I thought it all depended on me. His actual reason was that he loved to have a curtain go up revealing him balancing a live seal on his nose.

It helps a lot, with two people as much together as he and I were, if they understand each other. He understood that I was too strong-minded to add another word unless he told me to, and I understood that he was too pigheaded to tell me to.

I always belong wherever I am.

REPOSTING: From the Mailbag: Reading the Wolfe Books for the First Time

With the earlier post about Fer-de-Lance, it seemed like a good day to repost this, too. I apparently sampled a paragraph or two from the Fer-de-Lance write-up I shared earlier, too. Sorry for the repetition.


I received this email in response to my Happy Birthday, Archie! post last week.

Soooooo, each year you post this, each year I say I’m going to start…just put a request in for Fer-de-Lance, the first of the Nero Wolfe books, right?

Thanks for the question! This is a tricky one for me, and one that I’ve thought too long about already. I’m going to write for the person already interested in the series, and not to convince you to read them—this is practical advice only, no incitement.

Short answer: Maybe.

Longer answer (which I’ll still try to keep under control, because I tend to be hard to stop on this subject, and some of this is adapted from other things I’ve written. Also, because if I start fact-checking some of this, I’ll find myself spending hours, even days, on this, so I might make some minor errors)*:

Rex Stout’s Fer-de-Lance is the first of 40+ books (novels or short story collections) featuring the exploits of private investigator Archie Goodwin (2 parts Huck Finn, 1 part Philip Marlowe) and his eccentric employer, Nero Wolfe (1 part Sherlock Holmes, 1 part Mycroft Holmes)—yes, I am one of those who think that Archie’s the main character in the mis-nomered Nero Wolfe Mysteries. It makes perfect sense to start with Fer-de-Lance and read chronologically. I did it myself a couple of years back for the first time (I’ve been reading these books for about 30 years now, and its odd that it took me so long), and I picked up subtle nuances, little callbacks and references that I’d missed before. There are almost no story or character arcs that go beyond a book (exceptions are noted below), and (most of) those that do, are easy enough to pick up and don’t spoil too much. Yes, there are introductions of new characters, a character death or two, but by and large you can dip in anywhere and not notice.

    Two quick semi-parenthetical notes on the reading this chronologically before I continue.

  • Yes, read the short story collections when you come across them in the chronology. Even if you’re not a short fiction reader, do it. There are some utter gems tucked away in those (and I spent too much time ignoring them).
  • The short story collection Death Times Three was published posthumously, but I’m pretty sure they were published in magazines, etc. before the last novel, A Family Affair. Read the collection after Please Pass the Guilt and before A Family Affair. A Family Affair works so, so well as a series finale that it should be treated as one whether or not Stout wrote it as one. It’s oft-debated, but I’m convinced that if Stout lived another year, we’d have had another novel. But he didn’t. So, again, A Family Affair should be the last you read—even if you don’t read chronologically.

In reading about Rex Stout/Nero Wolfe (either by fans or professionals), there’s an oft-quoted line from Walter D. Edmonds that you simply cannot avoid seeing, “I shall never forget my excitement on reading Fer-de-Lance, sprung like Athena perfect form the Jovian brow, fresh and new and at the same time with enough plain familiar things in scene and setting to put any reader at his ease.” Aside from Oliver Wendell Holmes’ margin note (“This fellow is the best of them all.”), there’s nothing that sums up Fer-de-Lance better, sprung like Athena indeed.

It really doesn’t matter how many times you’ve read it, but upon re-reading (and probably even initial reading if this isn’t your first encounter with Wolfe and Archie) you can’t help be struck by how much Fer-de-Lance fits the model of a mature Wolfe novel—almost all the elements are there. These characters are introduced in practically their final format—a little tweak here and there over the course of the first few novels will get them in their final form. The addition of a few other characters will be necessary, but the cast of characters is already over 90% complete. In the first chapter alone we already have Wolfe, Archie, Fritz, Theodore, Fred and Saul presented in a manner fully recognizable to the familiar reader. The story follows a fairly typical route (although the identity of the murderer is revealed far earlier than is the norm), and the essential environmental elements are there—the beer, Wolfe’s eccentric schedule, the orchids, a relapse, the food, a cocky scheme to land a client, an outrageous stratagem for getting that last essential piece of evidence (not that Wolfe needs it to solve the crime, merely to prove he was correct)—the only thing missing is the gathering of the witnesses/suspects/clients for Wolfe to reveal everything in his characteristically dramatic fashion. One recurring thought I had while reading it the last time was that Fer-de-Lance could just as easily have been the fifteenth installment in the series as the first.

If you didn’t understand half of what I wrote above because you’re new to the corpus, well, you’ll get it soon enough. There’s a formula of sorts to Wolfe/Archie novels—violated all the time, despite what we purists like to think, these variations on the theme are some of our favorite moments. You’ll pick the formula up quickly, and find it as comfortable as Wolfe’s nigh-inviolable daily schedule.

So while there is glacial development, the order is almost negligible. I do endorse and suggest a chronological read—but it’s not essential. In fact, I typically recommend The Golden Spiders (#22) or Before Midnight (#25) to newbies before plunging into Fer-de-Lance, they’re among my favorites, and are pretty representative of the fully-developed Wolfe/Archie. A&E used The Golden Spiders as the pilot to their recent series, so I’m not alone in thinking it serves as a good introduction. If you like them in their final form, you’ll have an easier time appreciating Wolfe/Archie in their almost-final form in the early books. Think of the development of Bugs Bunny over the first few shorts as a rough analogue.

Therefore, if your library/used bookstore isn’t sufficiently stocked to do the chronological read, you shouldn’t avoid the series and can dip in wherever you can. It’s like old episodes of Law & Order that you come across on cable. But there are a few things you should read in a certain order for full understanding/emotional impact, and a few others you should read after you’ve acclimated to the world/series a bit, you’ll enjoy/appreciate them more than if they’re in the first five:

  • The Doorbell Rang (#41)
  • Too Many Women (#12)—a lot of people think Archie comes off like a cad here, it’s never bothered me, however. Still, if you already like him, you’ll forgive him this.
  • And Be a Villain (#13), The Second Confession (#15), and In the Best Families (#17)—just seeing the numbers now, surprises me—I’d have thought these were in the 30’s. If Stout had been planning out a 40+ book series, he’d have put them later. Not only should you read them with experience in the series, these three need to be read in this order. There is an omnibus edition in many libraries with these three called Triple Zeck.
  • The Black Mountain (#24) would be best read after Over My Dead Body (#7), and after you’re acclimated to the world.

A couple of other suggestions:

  • Some Buried Caesar (#6)—should be read early (but not first) and often.
  • A Right to Die (#40) should be read only after Too Many Cooks (#5), it’s one of the only times that a non-regular character shows up again. There’s some racially-tinged language in Too Many Cooks that Archie’d grow out of almost immediately. Remember it was originally published in 1938 and cut him a little slack—mostly, be happy that he grows out of it.
  • And again, A Family Affair should be read pretty much when there’s nothing left.

Granted, these are all only suggestions. But ones made by a passionate fan. Still, at the end of the day, just read these books, you’ll enjoy them.

Maybe sometime I’ll get into the official continuations by Robert Goldsborough in a post like this.


* Okay, I lied—I pulled up the goodreads page for the series so I could get the numbers on them just to help. But that’s it.

Happy Birthday, Archie!

My annual tribute to one of my favorite fictional characters (if not my all-time favorite). I’ve got to do an overhaul to this soon, but it is slightly updated and tweaked from last year.

On Oct. 23* in Chillicothe, Ohio, Archie Goodwin entered this world—no doubt with a smile for the pretty nurses—and American detective literature was never the same. He’s the narrator (and, I’d argue protagonist) of the questionably named Nero Wolfe mysteries. While the eccentric and overweight genius might be what brings people to the series, it’s Archie’s wit, attitude, and snappy narrative voice that brings people’s back.

* About 34 years ago, no matter what year it is that you read this.

When my aunt first gave me a Nero Wolfe book to read, she sold me on the Wolfe character, but when I read it, I wasn’t so sure that I liked the guy. But his assistant? He was cool. Sure, it didn’t take me long to get into Wolfe, but Archie’s always been my favorite. Since I was in Middle School, if I was suffering a slump of any kind (reading, emotional, physical), time with Archie Goodwin could get me out of it. There were a few years that when I got sick, I’d grab a Nero Wolfe novel to help me get through it (along with the Vitamin C and Chicken Noodle soup), and you can’t tell me it didn’t work. Noted critic Jacques Barzun says it well:

If he had done nothing more than to create Archie Goodwin, Rex Stout would deserve the gratitude of whatever assessors watch over the prosperity of American literature. For surely Archie is one of the folk heroes in which the modern American temper can see itself transfigured. Archie is the lineal descendant of Huck Finn.

While Archie’s about as far from a teetotaler as you can get, to commemorate his birthday, I’m toasting him in one of the ways I think he’d appreciate most—by raising a glass of milk in his honor.

Who was Archie? Archie summed up his life like this:

Born in Ohio. Public high school, pretty good at geometry and football, graduated with honor but no honors. Went to college two weeks, decided it was childish, came to New York and got a job guarding a pier, shot and killed two men and was fired, was recommended to Nero Wolfe for a chore he wanted done, did it, was offered a full-time job by Mr. Wolfe, took it, still have it.” (Fourth of July Picnic)

Long may he keep it. Just what was he employed by Wolfe to do? In The Black Mountain he answers the statement, “I thought you was a private eye” with:

I don’t like the way you say it, but I am. Also, I am an accountant, an amanuensis, and a cocklebur. Eight to five you never heard the word amanuensis and you never saw a cocklebur.

In The Red Box, he says

I know pretty well what my field is. Aside from my primary function as the thorn in the seat of Wolfe’s chair to keep him from going to sleep and waking up only for meals, I’m chiefly cut out for two things: to jump and grab something before the other guy can get his paws on it, and to collect pieces of the puzzle for Wolfe to work on.

In Too Many Women, he’s a bit more concise and describes himself as the:

heart, liver, lungs and gizzard of the private detective business of Nero Wolfe, Wolfe being merely the brains

In Black Orchids, he reacts to an insult:

…her cheap crack about me being a ten-cent Clark Gable, which was ridiculous. He simpers, to begin with, and to end with no one can say I resemble a movie actor, and if they did it would be more apt to be Gary Cooper than Clark Gable.

Over at The Thrilling Detective, he’s described this way:

If Goodwin hadn’t gone to work for Wolfe, he’d certainly have his own agency by now (and temporarily does, in one novel). Far more of the traditional eye, Goodwin is a tough, handsome guy with a photographic memory, a .32 under his well-tailored suit (and sometimes an extra .38 in his overcoat pocket), and a well-developed appreciation for the ladies. And, in the opinion of more than a few cops, officials and stuffed-shirt executives, a mouth that ought to be nailed shut permanently. (Wolfe isn’t immune either – part of Goodwin’s job, as he sees it, is needling the fat man into taking cases, if only to make sure the bills get covered.) He’s not the deductive genius that Wolfe is, but a smart and tenacious op with a good right hook, and a decent and personable man. Most of all, in his narration of the books, he’s a helluva storyteller; it’s his view of the world, and his interaction with Wolfe, that keeps us coming back for each new mystery.

The Archie Goodwin FAQ is less succinct but does a good job of laying out the facts.

I’m not the only Archie fan out there:

  • Someone pointed me at this post, The Wit and Wisdom of Archie Goodwin. There’s some really good stuff here that I was tempted to steal, instead, I’ll just point you at it.
  • Robert Crais himself when writing an introduction to a Before Midnight reprint, devoted it to paying tribute to Archie—one of the few pieces of anything written that I can say I agree with jot and tittle.

In case you’re wondering if this post was simply an excuse to go through some collections of Archie Goodwin quotations, you wouldn’t be totally wrong…he’s one of the fictional characters I like spending time with most in this world—he’s the literary equivalent of comfort food. So just a couple more great lines I’ve quoted here before:

I would appreciate it if they would call a halt on all their devoted efforts to find a way to abolish war or eliminate disease or run trains with atoms or extend the span of human life to a couple of centuries, and everybody concentrate for a while on how to wake me up in the morning without my resenting it. It may be that a bevy of beautiful maidens in pure silk yellow very sheer gowns, barefooted, singing “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning” and scattering rose petals over me would do the trick, but I’d have to try it.

I looked at the wall clock. It said two minutes to four. I looked at my wrist watch. It said one minute to four. In spite of the discrepancy, it seemed safe to conclude that it would soon be four o’clock.

Description:I shook my head. “You’re flattering me, Inspector. I don’t arouse passions like that. It’s my intellect women like. I inspire them to read good books, but I doubt if I could inspire even Lizzie Borden to murder.”

She turned back to me, graceful as a big cat, and stood there straight and proud, not quite smiling, her warm dark eyes as curious as if she had never seen a man before. I knew damn well I ought to say something, but what? The only thing to say was ‘Will you marry me?’ but that wouldn’t do because the idea of her washing dishes or darning socks was preposterous.

“Indeed,” I said. That was Nero Wolfe’s word, and I never used it except in moments of stress, and it severely annoyed me when I caught myself using it, because when I look in a mirror I prefer to see me as is, with no skin grafted from anybody else’s hide, even Nero Wolfe’s.

If you like Anglo-Saxon, I belched. If you fancy Latin, I eructed. No matter which, I had known that Wolfe and Inspector Cramer would have to put up with it that evening, because that is always a part of my reaction to sauerkraut. I don’t glory in it or go for a record, but neither do I fight it back. I want to be liked just for myself.

When a hippopotamus is peevish it’s a lot of peeve.

It was nothing new for Wolfe to take steps, either on his own, or with one or more of the operatives we used, without burdening my mind with it. His stated reason was that I worked better if I thought it all depended on me. His actual reason was that he loved to have a curtain go up revealing him balancing a live seal on his nose.

It helps a lot, with two people as much together as he and I were, if they understand each other. He understood that I was too strong-minded to add another word unless he told me to, and I understood that he was too pigheaded to tell me to.

I always belong wherever I am.

Happy Birthday, Archie!

My annual tribute to one of my favorite fictional characters (if not my all-time favorite). I’ve got to do an overhaul to this soon, but it is slightly updated and tweaked from last year.

On Oct. 23* in Chillicothe, Ohio, Archie Goodwin entered this world—no doubt with a smile for the pretty nurses—and American detective literature was never the same. He’s the narrator (and, I’d argue protagonist) of the questionably named Nero Wolfe mysteries. While the eccentric and overweight genius might be what brings people to the series, it’s Archie’s wit, attitude, and snappy narrative voice that brings people’s back.

* About 34 years ago, no matter what year it is that you read this.

Since I was in Middle School, if I was suffering a slump of any kind (reading, emotional, physical), time with Archie Goodwin could get me out of it. There were a few years that when I got sick, I’d grab a Nero Wolfe novel to help me get through it (along with the Vitamin C and Chicken Noodle soup), and you can’t tell me it didn’t work. Noted critic Jacques Barzun says it well:

If he had done nothing more than to create Archie Goodwin, Rex Stout would deserve the gratitude of whatever assessors watch over the prosperity of American literature. For surely Archie is one of the folk heroes in which the modern American temper can see itself transfigured. Archie is the lineal descendant of Huck Finn.

While Archie’s about as far from a teetotaler as you can get, to commemorate his birthday, I’m toasting him in one of the ways I think he’d appreciate most—by raising a glass of milk in his honor.

Who was Archie? Archie summed up his life like this:

Born in Ohio. Public high school, pretty good at geometry and football, graduated with honor but no honors. Went to college two weeks, decided it was childish, came to New York and got a job guarding a pier, shot and killed two men and was fired, was recommended to Nero Wolfe for a chore he wanted done, did it, was offered a full-time job by Mr. Wolfe, took it, still have it.” (Fourth of July Picnic)

Long may he keep it. Just what was he employed by Wolfe to do? In The Black Mountain he answers the statement, “I thought you was a private eye” with:

I don’t like the way you say it, but I am. Also, I am an accountant, an amanuensis, and a cocklebur. Eight to five you never heard the word amanuensis and you never saw a cocklebur.

In The Red Box, he says

I know pretty well what my field is. Aside from my primary function as the thorn in the seat of Wolfe’s chair to keep him from going to sleep and waking up only for meals, I’m chiefly cut out for two things: to jump and grab something before the other guy can get his paws on it, and to collect pieces of the puzzle for Wolfe to work on.

In Too Many Women, he’s a bit more concise and describes himself as the:

heart, liver, lungs and gizzard of the private detective business of Nero Wolfe, Wolfe being merely the brains

In Black Orchids, he reacts to an insult:

…her cheap crack about me being a ten-cent Clark Gable, which was ridiculous. He simpers, to begin with, and to end with no one can say I resemble a movie actor, and if they did it would be more apt to be Gary Cooper than Clark Gable.

Over at The Thrilling Detective, he’s described this way:

If Goodwin hadn’t gone to work for Wolfe, he’d certainly have his own agency by now (and temporarily does, in one novel). Far more of the traditional eye, Goodwin is a tough, handsome guy with a photographic memory, a .32 under his well-tailored suit (and sometimes an extra .38 in his overcoat pocket), and a well-developed appreciation for the ladies. And, in the opinion of more than a few cops, officials and stuffed-shirt executives, a mouth that ought to be nailed shut permanently. (Wolfe isn’t immune either – part of Goodwin’s job, as he sees it, is needling the fat man into taking cases, if only to make sure the bills get covered.) He’s not the deductive genius that Wolfe is, but a smart and tenacious op with a good right hook, and a decent and personable man. Most of all, in his narration of the books, he’s a helluva storyteller; it’s his view of the world, and his interaction with Wolfe, that keeps us coming back for each new mystery.

The Archie Goodwin FAQ is less succicnt but does a good job of laying out the facts.

I’m not the only Archie fan out there:

  • Someone pointed me at this post, The Wit and Wisdom of Archie Goodwin. There’s some really good stuff here that I was tempted to steal, instead, I’ll just point you at it.
  • Robert Crais himself when writing an introduction to a Before Midnight reprint, devoted it to paying tribute to Archie—one of the few pieces of anything written that I can say I agree with jot and tittle.

In case you’re wondering if this post was simply an excuse to go through some collections of Archie Goodwin quotations, you wouldn’t be totally wrong…he’s one of the fictional characters I like spending time with most in this world—he’s the literary equivalent of comfort food. So just a couple more great lines I’ve quoted here before:

I would appreciate it if they would call a halt on all their devoted efforts to find a way to abolish war or eliminate disease or run trains with atoms or extend the span of human life to a couple of centuries, and everybody concentrate for a while on how to wake me up in the morning without my resenting it. It may be that a bevy of beautiful maidens in pure silk yellow very sheer gowns, barefooted, singing “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning” and scattering rose petals over me would do the trick, but I’d have to try it.

I looked at the wall clock. It said two minutes to four. I looked at my wrist watch. It said one minute to four. In spite of the discrepancy, it seemed safe to conclude that it would soon be four o’clock.

Description:I shook my head. “You’re flattering me, Inspector. I don’t arouse passions like that. It’s my intellect women like. I inspire them to read good books, but I doubt if I could inspire even Lizzie Borden to murder.”

She turned back to me, graceful as a big cat, and stood there straight and proud, not quite smiling, her warm dark eyes as curious as if she had never seen a man before. I knew damn well I ought to say something, but what? The only thing to say was ‘Will you marry me?’ but that wouldn’t do because the idea of her washing dishes or darning socks was preposterous.

“Indeed,” I said. That was Nero Wolfe’s word, and I never used it except in moments of stress, and it severely annoyed me when I caught myself using it, because when I look in a mirror I prefer to see me as is, with no skin grafted from anybody else’s hide, even Nero Wolfe’s.

If you like Anglo-Saxon, I belched. If you fancy Latin, I eructed. No matter which, I had known that Wolfe and Inspector Cramer would have to put up with it that evening, because that is always a part of my reaction to sauerkraut. I don’t glory in it or go for a record, but neither do I fight it back. I want to be liked just for myself.

When a hippopotamus is peevish it’s a lot of peeve.

It was nothing new for Wolfe to take steps, either on his own, or with one or more of the operatives we used, without burdening my mind with it. His stated reason was that I worked better if I thought it all depended on me. His actual reason was that he loved to have a curtain go up revealing him balancing a live seal on his nose.

It helps a lot, with two people as much together as he and I were, if they understand each other. He understood that I was too strong-minded to add another word unless he told me to, and I understood that he was too pigheaded to tell me to.

I always belong wherever I am.

A Few Quick Questions With…Like the Wolfe Podcast (and a little bit of an intro to it)

Most of what I’ve written about Nero Wolfe/Archie Goodwin and their author Rex Stout predates this blog, but I’ve not hid the fact that I’m a near-rabid fan, and will take any excuse to mention them. So imagine my excitement when a few weeks ago, someone joined one of the fan groups on Facebook and mentioned he had a podcast working through the Corpus.

Like the WolfeLike the Wolfe is working their way, book by book, through series starting with the first, Fer-de-Lance (something I wrote about it, their podcast episode). Typically, there’s a little bit of material that’s safe for someone who hasn’t read the book under discussion, but most of the episode is full of spoilers and assumes a familiarity with the material.

Which honestly, is fine—few Wolfe and Archie fans read (or re-read, re-re-read, re-re-re-re-read, etc.) the books for the whodunit.

In the first few episodes, the audio quality isn’t that great and the hosts are clearly learning how to do a podcast. But those shortcomings actually come across as charming, and their enthusiasm is infectious. By Episode 8-The Silent Speaker, the audio quality has really improved and the hosts have obviously become comfortable with the format.

I binged the first 9 episodes in under a week, and had a blast. Sure, I’d quibble with some of the observations and would demur with some of their evaluations/criticisms—but that’s part of the fun, right?

Anyway, I’ve blathered on long enough—the hosts, Reyna Griffin and Jeff Quest, were gracious enough to answer a few questions for me. Check these out, and then go listen to their podcast. If you’re new to Wolfe, it’s a great introduction (Quest himself is a newbie), if you’re a die-hard fan, you’ll love revisiting the books (if you’re in between—give it time, you’ll become a die-hard). If you have no idea what I’m talking about? Give the books a shot, and use this podcast to help (I also blathered on a bit about the idea here).

Why don’t you both start off by giving me a little bit of background info about you as readers/in general? Introduce yourselves to us—and how did you get to know one another? I’m guessing it wasn’t via a Craigslist advertisement, “Looking for a Co-Host for a Nero Wolfe Podcast.” (do note, out of respect for the character that brings us together, I didn’t abbreviate advertisement—I just can’t bring myself to do it anymore)
Reyna Griffin (RG): Hello! I always wonder what would be great to say about myself, but here it goes! My name LaReyna Griffin and I LOVE Nero Wolfe novels. I am a huge fan of mystery/detective novels – I really like to get away from the real world. For me reading is something I do to just decompress and I do like to read other than detective novels (even tho I will never say no to a Poirot story) these are my favorites. I am in 2 book clubs, they typically are not my usual books so I do get out of my comfort zone a few times a month. Some of my favorite authors are Christie, Beaton, and of course Stout. How I met JQ? Jeff was my boss at my previous job – he actually has been my boss since I was 18, in one way or another, and it was through this that I found that we both were book folks. The idea for the podcast was *maybe* a collab brainchild but probs more Jeff.

Jeff Quest (JQ): Jeff Quest here and I seem to remember this being prompted more by Reyna than myself. I’m the newbie to the series and take care of most of the tech side of the podcast.

I’ve always been a fan of mysteries and was more than happy to try an author I hadn’t read before. I have a far greater knowledge of spies, I write and podcast about them at my site SpyWrite.com and that’s probably what prompted the idea of a podcast looking at Wolfe. Wolfe is a surprising blind spot in my mystery reading so when Reyna suggested reading through the series and talking about each book I was up for it. However I leave the encyclopedic knowledge of the Nero Wolfe series to Reyna.

What brought each of you to the Nero Wolfe series? Was it a recommendation from someone? Just stumbling across one in a bookstore? Did you mean to buy a book about Orchid Growing and get a very poor substitute? For me, it was an aunt who insisted I’d like them—she eventually got tired of me ignoring them and just handed me a couple of them (I believe it was Where There’s a Will and something else), and that was it. Three decades later and I’m still re-reading them.
RG: My mother brought me to Nero but what kept me here was watching the A&E series (brought to life by Timothy [Hutton] and Maury [Chaykin]). I loved the books but the characters became so real for me once that show was aired. I actually rewatch the show on a weekly basis, it is just that timeless and good. It says something about a show that is on par with the books (maybe better??).

JQ: Reyna was the one that has me hooked on the series, although it really only took reading the first book to see why so many have fallen in love with the series. From the first moments Archie’s voice is so vibrant and fun, you can’t help but want to keep reading.

Why a podcast? Whose idea was it and how did it come about?
RG: Hmm I think the podcast because we wanted to share our love for the topic and this was the best format. I wasn’t much for a blog because I am not a writer and also I wanted to maintain some contact/interaction with JQ.

JQ: Yeah, since I had done a few other podcasts on spy related topics for my own site and the Spybrary podcast (Spybrary.com), this seemed like a fun way to keep in touch with Reyna while also having some interesting structured discussions.

What kind of response are you getting to these episodes?
RG: We were on break for a bit, due to life issues, but now we see that folks are interacting with the podcast – from comments to tweets about our choices.

JQ: So far so good. We didn’t really promote it much yet, we wanted to have a few episodes under our belt before doing that, but folks seem to be enjoying it, aside from my apparently foolish references to Wolfe as “Nero.” which gets folks riled up.* I had a chance to talk to Josh Pachter about the book he edited, The Misadventures of Nero Wolfe, which was quite fun. I’m hopeful that I can do some more of that. It would be great to give the fan community a place to hear the voices of others who enjoy his work, especially for those who don’t have a local Wolfe club to gather with.

* I’d note that I’m one of those riled up by that, Archie has noted that only three men refer to him by his first name. That’s a personal bugbear, and I don’t hold it against them (however must I grimace when I hear it).

One more question about the podcast itself—are we going to ever get to hear your “Lost Episodes” (Some Buried Ceasar, Over My Dead Body, Where There’s a Will, Black Orchids, Not Quite Dead Enough, Booby Trap—I assume Black Orchids is around the corner, given that you did Cordially Invited to Meet Death)?

JQ: I’ll take the blame for this. The dreaded “tech issues” reared their head. We lost a couple due to a garbled recording and I have a couple that I need to go back to the original recordings to reedit for release after the first edit was lost in a hard drive crash.

Luckily, I’ve spent the time we were on hiatus learning a bit more on how to put out a better podcast. So the quality for future episodes should be stronger than those early episodes.

Let’s shift to the books themselves: Jeff, you’re the neophyte (by the way, I’d love to be in your shoes and have all these great reads in my future—they’re great re-reads, but for them to be new again?), so what’s your favorite Wolfean moment so far? Reyna, I don’t know if you can limit yourself to just one at this point (especially without ruining anything for Jeff), so maybe give me one from the books you’ve discussed on the podcast.
RG: My favorite moment we have not hit yet! My favorite moment comes in The Doorbell Rang, a very cool scene in Wolfe’s office with the client where he puts her in her place while still being a gentleman.

JQ: Is it the very first book where Archie is lamenting losing the wallet that Wolfe gave him?* Although Archie gives Wolfe a hard time, it shows how much he really cares and what they’ve been through together. I really liked that moment.

* Great moment indeed, but it’s from The League of Frightened Men, the second novel (which Quest has mentioned enough on the podcast that I was surprised he slipped here).

You’ve both talked about enjoying Wolfe’s vocabulary. I know that my vocabulary (in writing and in conversation) improves generally when I’m in the middle of a Wolfe novel have you found that? Reyna, this is more likely for you (but Jeff can weigh-in if he wants): do you have a favorite Wolfean word/phrase? How many of them have entered your day-to-day vocabulary? Personally, off the top-of-my-head, I use “flummery” quite often; I can’t type it any other way than, “Pfui,” (and typically pronounce it like that); and will go out of my way to not use “contact” as a verb (and have been told I scowl when people do so at work). ?

RG: While I find “Flummery” as my go-to word for something outlandish, I prefer to use some of his phrasings – they randomly will pop into my head, usually when at work and dealing with a difficult client. One I used recently in a meeting with my boss was “Cheek meets cheek” – referenced in Eeny Meeny Murder Moe.

JQ: I probably haven’t read enough of the books for his vocabulary to really sink in yet but I can’t resist a good “satisfactory.”

You talked a little about casting Arche in your Introduction to him, and you’ve suggested actors for other prominent characters. But aside from a little tongue-in-cheek (I presume) casting that I couldn’t hear in your The League of Frightened Men episode, I don’t think I’ve heard you suggest anyone for Wolfe. My current picks for him are Vincent D’Onofrio or Steve Schirripa (assuming he can lose the Brooklyn accent), what about you?
RG: I love Vincent D’Onofrio, and his recent twitter soliloquies really reinforce this. He would be great! He has that slightly off-putting method that makes him a great Wolfe. Besides him, I actually can’t think of an actor that would be fitting for the shoes left by Maury Chaykin. I also need to see it, because before I saw Kenneth Branagh as Poirot I would never have thought we could recast from David Suchet.

JQ: I always find dream casting tough. Mainly because film and tv is so different from print. Personally, I’d go with some unknowns that could really make the role their own. The trouble with well-known actors is that it becomes hard to see past the actor and let them become a character that we all know and love.

If you forced me to pick, I’d go crazily out of the box and say someone like Andre Brauer for Wolfe and Daniel Radcliffe for Archie. Brauer has that great broodiness that’s needed and can just look smart. Radcliffe is too short but has a fun energy that he could bring to the role. But I might not mention those on the podcast, the Wolfe Pack (or Reyna) would probably string me up!

Bauer is an inspired choice—Radcliffe’s not bad, either, I can see that working.

Thanks for your time—and thanks for the podcast, I’m thoroughly enjoying it.

RG and JQ: Thanks for having us here and for listening!

From the Mailbag: Reading the Wolfe Books for the First Time

I received this email in response to my Happy Birthday, Archie! post last week.

Soooooo, each year you post this, each year I say I’m going to start…just put a request in for Fer-de-Lance, the first of the Nero Wolfe books, right?

Thanks for the question! This is a tricky one for me, and one that I’ve thought too long about already. I’m going to write for the person already interested in the series, and not to convince you to read them — this is practical advice only, no incitement.

Short answer: Maybe.

Longer answer (which I’ll still try to keep under control, because I tend to be hard to stop on this subject, and some of this is adapted from other things I’ve written. Also, because if I start fact-checking some of this, I’ll find myself spending hours, even days, on this, so I might make some minor errors)*:
Rex Stout’s Fer-de-Lance is the first of 40+ books (novels or short story collections) featuring the exploits of private investigator Archie Goodwin (2 parts Huck Finn, 1 part Philip Marlowe) and his eccentric employer, Nero Wolfe (1 part Sherlock Holmes, 1 part Mycroft Holmes)–yes, I am one of those who think that Archie’s the main character in the mis-nomered Nero Wolfe Mysteries. It makes perfect sense to start with Fer-de-Lance and read chronologically. I did it myself a couple of years back for the first time (I’ve been reading these books for about 30 years now, and its odd that it took me so long), and I picked up subtle nuances, little callbacks and references that I’d missed before. There are almost no story or character arcs that go beyond a book (exceptions are noted below), and (most of) those that do, are easy enough to pick up and don’t spoil too much. Yes, there are introductions of new characters, a character death or two, but by and large you can dip in anywhere and not notice.

    Two quick semi-parenthetical notes on the reading this chronologically before I continue.

  • Yes, read the short story collections when you come across them in the chronology. Even if you’re not a short fiction reader, do it. There are some utter gems tucked away in those (and I spent too much time ignoring them).
  • The short story collection Death Times Three was published posthumously, but I’m pretty sure they were published in magazines, etc. before the last novel, A Family Affair. Read the collection after Please Pass the Guilt and before A Family Affair. A Family Affair works so, so well as a series finale that it should be treated as one whether or not Stout wrote it as one. It’s oft-debated, but I’m convinced that if Stout lived another year, we’d have had another novel. But he didn’t. So, again, A Family Affair should be the last you read — even if you don’t read chronologically.


In reading about Rex Stout/Nero Wolfe (either by fans or professionals), there’s an oft-quoted line from Walter D. Edmonds that you simply cannot avoid seeing, “I shall never forget my excitement on reading Fer-de-Lance, sprung like Athena perfect form the Jovian brow, fresh and new and at the same time with enough plain familiar things in scene and setting to put any reader at his ease.” Aside from Oliver Wendell Holmes’ margin note (“This fellow is the best of them all.”), there’s nothing that sums up Fer-de-Lance better, sprung like Athena indeed.

It really doesn’t matter how many times you’ve read it, but upon re-reading (and probably even initial reading if this isn’t your first encounter with Wolfe and Archie) you can’t help be struck by how much Fer-de-Lance fits the model of a mature Wolfe novel–almost all the elements are there. These characters are introduced in practically their final format — a little tweak here and there over the course of the first few novels will get them in their final form. The addition of a few other characters will be necessary, but the cast of characters is already over 90% complete. In the first chapter alone we already have Wolfe, Archie, Fritz, Theodore, Fred and Saul presented in a manner fully recognizable to the familiar reader. The story follows a fairly typical route (although the identity of the murderer is revealed far earlier than is the norm), and the essential environmental elements are there — the beer, Wolfe’s eccentric schedule, the orchids, a relapse, the food, a cocky scheme to land a client, an outrageous stratagem for getting that last essential piece of evidence (not that Wolfe needs it to solve the crime, merely to prove he was correct) — the only thing missing is the gathering of the witnesses/suspects/clients for Wolfe to reveal everything in his characteristically dramatic fashion. One recurring thought I had while reading it the last time was that Fer-de-Lance could just as easily have been the fifteenth installment in the series as the first.

If you didn’t understand half of what I wrote above because you’re new to the corpus, well, you’ll get it soon enough. There’s a formula of sorts to Wolfe/Archie novels — violated all the time, despite what we purists like to think, these variations on the theme are some of our favorite moments. You’ll pick the formula up quickly, and find it as comfortable as Wolfe’s nigh-inviolable daily schedule.

So while there is glacial development, the order is almost negligible. I do endorse and suggest a chronological read — but it’s not essential. In fact, I typically recommend The Golden Spiders (#22) or Before Midnight (#25) to newbies before plunging into Fer-de-Lance, they’re among my favorites, and are pretty representative of the fully-developed Wolfe/Archie. A&E used The Golden Spiders as the pilot to their recent series, so I’m not alone in thinking it serves as a good introduction. If you like them in their final form, you’ll have an easier time appreciating Wolfe/Archie in their almost-final form in the early books. Think of the development of Bugs Bunny over the first few shorts as a rough analogue.

Therefore, if your library/used bookstore isn’t sufficiently stocked to do the chronological read, you shouldn’t avoid the series and can dip in wherever you can. It’s like old episodes of Law & Order that you come across on cable. But there are a few things you should read in a certain order for full understanding/emotional impact, and a few others you should read after you’ve acclimated to the world/series a bit, you’ll enjoy/appreciate them more than in they’re in the first five:

  • The Doorbell Rang (#41)
  • Too Many Women (#12) — a lot of people think Archie comes off like a cad here, it’s never bothered me, however. Still, if you already like him, you’ll forgive him this.
  • And Be a Villain (#13), The Second Confession (#15), and In the Best Families (#17) — just seeing the numbers now, surprises me — I’d have thought these were in the 30’s. If Stout had been planning out a 40+ book series, he’d have put them later. Not only should you read them with experience in the series, these three need to be read in this order. There is an omnibus edition in many libraries with these three called Triple Zeck.
  • The Black Mountain (#24) would be best read after Over My Dead Body (#7), and after you’re acclimated to the world.

A couple of other suggestions:

  • Some Buried Caesar (#6) — should be read early (but not first) and often.
  • A Right to Die (#40) should be read only after Too Many Cooks (#5), it’s one of the only times that a non-regular character shows up again. There’s some racially-tinged language in Too Many Cooks that Archie’d grow out of almost immediately. Remember it was originally published in 1938 and cut him a little slack — mostly, be happy that he grows out of it.
  • And again, A Family Affair should be read pretty much when there’s nothing left.

Granted, these are all only suggestions. But ones made by a passionate fan. Still, at the end of the day, just read these books, you’ll enjoy them.

Maybe sometime I’ll get into the official continuations by Robert Goldsborough in a post like this.


* Okay, I lied — I pulled up the goodreads page for the series so I could get the numbers on them just to help. But that’s it.

Non-Fictional Feelings for Fictional Characters

A slightly different post this morning, I’ve been trying some behind-the-scenes work here on the blog this morning — composition, infrastructure, design, etc. The books that I’m overdue to review are hard to write about, I’m plugging away at 4 different reviews right now that I absolutely want to get right , and that’s time-consuming. Also, Grossman’s YOU: A Novel took 2 or 3 days longer to read than I’d expected — worth the time, but it did sort of mess up my schedule. So, like I said. Something different.

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I saw that picture on Grammarly.com‘s facebook page*, and as one does, shared it, which prompted a friend to ask what some of my favorite fictional characters were. I decided to limit the list to fictional characters from books (a. see the picture and b. see this blog), and to characters I had “non-fictional feelings” for — Hannibal Lecter was a favorite (for 2 books, anyway), but I had no emotional attachment to him, or Evanovich‘s Ranger — fun character, but don’t really care about the guy. Here, with added commentary, is my list.

  • Archie Goodwin — this is the name that jumped immediately to mind. Archie’s the big brother I never had — the quick, agile wit; the athleticism; the way with the ladies — and the rest of the things that older brothers so often exemplify to those of us who never had one (on the other hand, we didn’t have to share a bedroom). ‘Course he makes the list.
  • Spenser — it’s almost impossible to spend as much time in a guy’s head as I have Spenser’s (or Archie’s) and not have some sort of emotional bond there. Everything I said about Archie applies here too, actually.
  • Harry Dresden — Chicago’s resident Wizard P. I. He feels like a friend. Hanging with Harry for a night of RPGs, Double Whoppers, and McAnally’s beer sounds ideal.
  • Scout Finch — she’s plucky, honest, a born-reader, and loves her pa (even when she doesn’t understand him). She’s had a soft spot in my heart longer than most of the people on this list.
  • Hermione Granger — sure, her famous buddy still gets all the press. But it’s this brave, clever, stubborn and resourceful gal who’s the most consistent hero in the series — and the one you can count on for genuine emotional moments. (this isn’t to take away anything from Ron, Luna, Albus, Neville, Sirius, Dobby, etc. — but Hermione alone manages to do it in every book in the series)
  • Chet Little / Oberon — it felt like a cheat listing these separately, and it just looked wrong to leave one of them off the list. So…I cheated. Both of these charming gentlemen will win you over within a few pages (in Dog On It and Hounded, respectively), and after you spend a few books with them, they’ll have stolen your heart. They make you laugh, they make you worry — and in Hunted, Oberon commits himself to one of the bravest acts I’ve seen, and choked me up a bit. The humans these guys live with almost make the list just on their testimony.
  • Angela Gennaro — if you hadn’t grown attached to Angie already, especially after Darkness, Take my Hand‘s events, there’s just no way you can’t fall apart with her at the end of Gone, Baby, Gone

Let me hear from you, reader/follower/happener-upon-this-post — who do you have non-fictional feelings for?

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* I looked but couldn’t find the source for this, otherwise I’d have cited it. If you know who should get the credit, please let me know.

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