Tag: Festivus

The Grandcritter’s First Festivus

Shunning the commercialization of Christmas*/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Santaween/Chrismukkah, we’re again celebrating Festivus (for the rest of us) here at The Irresponsible Reader. But this time, we’re doing something extra special—my Grandcritter is joining us as I share with him the wonders of the day.

And no…this isn’t just an excuse for a proud grandparent to show you all pictures of this adorable guy. You’re just going to have to take my word for that.

Let’s begin our observance!

Festivus PoleWe start by setting up the Festivus pole. See how he’s taking in the very high strength-to-weight ratio (because it’s a mighty fine pole) and how he’s fascinated by it without any need for distracting tinsel. It’s very important to take in the simplicity.

And now, let the Airing of Grievances begin.

Airing of Grievances
I initially assumed that I’d be handling this myself, the kid’s not even a year old. So, sure he has a gripe or two, but they can’t be book-related, can they? Turns out they can.

The Grandcritter’s Grievances

Aggrieved Grandcritter
bullet Board Books need to taste better! Sure, the texture is interesting and provides an interesting mouthfeel. But the taste is rather plain. Can’t we get something that tastes like food mixed into that coating on every page?

bullet Related to that, try as I might, I cannot fit an entire book into my mouth at once. I don’t know if it’s a me problem or a publishing/book design problem, but I think it’s the latter. I don’t know why, but I think it would be really satisfying if I could just get one to fit the whole way, you know?

(Grandpappy’s original idea for my Feat of Strength was to get a picture of me trying to pull this off, but Mommy wouldn’t let him. Apparently, he’s supposed to discourage that, not try to get me to do it. I’d make this a Grievance, too. But Mommy probably knows best, and Grandpappy says I should wait at least 13 years before pushing back like that in public.)

bullet I’ve got a beef with the people that make those “Indestructibles” books for people my age. Do they not understand how satisfying it is to rip a page in a book (and maybe to stuff it in your mouth)? That sound…that feeling of power…it’s so good. And then these mean grown-ups make it so my people can’t do that? It’s the worst. (also, Grandpappy says they’d do better selling multiple copies of books when adults replace the ones with missing pages)

bullet Lastly, my TBR is too huge! I’m never going to catch up at this point. Never mind the books that Mommy and Daddy have picked out for me, or that I might be interested in—do you have any idea how long the list that my Grandpappy has for me is??? Talk about Irresponsible…

Grandpappy’s Grievances

(Yes, some of these are only slightly revised from previous Festivus posts. This is to be expected, it’s not like the entire universe fixed itself after I threw up a few posts. I’ve got to keep up the pressure.)

bullet AI’s takeover of publishing, from covers to audiobook narrations to writing and illustrating! It’s just too much. This is about human creativity, not close approximations of it. Also, you’d think that people who publish/sell/read dystopian fiction and SF would know better than to give the reins of anything to an AI.

bullet I have a grievance with the book publishing/selling/marketing industry. It’s 2023, why are we still placing stickers on books? If we have to do that, why hasn’t Science come up with a sticker that doesn’t leave a gummy residue behind? C’mon, Science, if you can’t give us a cure for cancer, a pill so people with Celiac disease can eat bread, or an Oreo that will help me lose weight—at least you can give us stickers that don’t leave gunk on our books! Especially, especially when it covers the ISBN number for those of us trying to scan them.

bullet What’s worse than stickers are those things that look like stickers, but aren’t. Just stupid, garish circles that have been printed on the cover and really only serve to obscure the image. What’s the point?

bullet I have a grievance with Movie/TV covers on books. C’mon people, this is stupid. Sure, it may help sell more copies of the books—but has any book been improved by one of these covers? No! Knock it off! And especially, stop it with sticking pictures of actors on books in a series that haven’t been adapted, just because some have (yeah, I’m looking at you, Longmire).

bullet Similarly, what’s up with publishers changing the look of series covers—and or the height of the books—in a series? I like when they match and I resent having to go buy second copies of the old ones to have a nice matching set. (which I generally avoid, but I think about doing it a lot).

bullet Whether it’s from a mainstream publisher, indie press, or a self-pubbed book, we have the technology and (theoretically??) the education so there’s no reason for there to be missing/extra punctuation or misspelled words in books. We all understand human error, some are going to slip through, but…

Obviously, this doesn’t apply to book blog posts. No one paid for these.

bullet I have a grievance with the Book Blogging Community. There are way too many good book bloggers out there to keep up with. Some of you need to write less often! Also, you make the rest of us look bad.

bullet I’ve got a grievance with running out of places to put books and bookshelves that aren’t like a bag of holding or TARDIS and can’t take an increasing number of books. So…physics, I guess. Yeah, that’s right, Laws of the Physics, I’m calling you out. Get your act together!

bullet And what’s more…I lost my train of thought. Still, I managed to get a little off my chest, and that felt good.

And now, the Feats of Strength

Time for Feats of Strength
This was tricky to capture in a photo, but I think you can make it out…The Grandcritter is lifting my The Lord of the Rings Illustrated hardcover. Yes, one corner is resting on (read: digging into) my arm, but he’s picked up the other end on his own. All 3.54 lbs. of it–with one hand, mind you.

Feat of Strength

Let’s see how the rest of you do with your feats.

I hope you enjoyed this bit of fluff and regardless of what holidays/festivals you may or may not celebrate that you have a happy one!

* I’ve gotten a little feedback about this—it’s pretty clear I’m a Christian. So why do I do a Festivus post instead of something about Christmas? While I do think that believers have the liberty to celebrate the Nativity if they desire to, I’m ambivalent toward the day, and hesitant to make a big deal out of it. So, I don’t. If you’re curious, I thought this episode of The Heidelcast did a decent job of articulating many of the issues (without getting nasty about it).

On the other hand, Festivus is just silly fun. Hope you don’t mind…

Happy Festivus

Festivus 2022: For the Rest of Us

Shunning the commercialization of Christmas*/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Santaween/Chrismukkah, we’re again celebrating Festivus (for the rest of us) here at The Irresponsible Reader.

Let’s begin our observance!

Festivus PoleHere I am with my Festivus pole. I really appreciate the very high strength-to-weight ratio, it’s a mighty fine pole.

Note the lack of distracting tinsel. It’s very important.

And now, let the Airing of Grievances begin.

Airing of Grievances
Yes, some of these are only slightly revised from previous Festivus posts. Which is to be expected, it’s not like the entire universe fixed itself after I posted one lil’ post. I’ve got to keep up the pressure.

bullet AI’s takeover of publishing, from covers, to audiobook narrations, to writing and illustrating! It’s just too much. This is about human creativity, not close approximations of it. Also, you’d think that people who publish/sell/read dystopian fiction and SF would know better than to give the reins of anything to an AI.

bullet The Goodreads “update” or “upgrade” or “redesign” or whatever they’re calling it. It’s uglier, it’s flakier, it’s less functional, and just plain worse. I don’t disagree that the site needed a makeover and improvements, but what we got wasn’t what we needed.

bullet I have a grievance with the book publishing/selling/marketing industry. It’s 2022, why are we still placing stickers on books? If we have to do that, why hasn’t Science come up with a sticker that doesn’t leave a gummy residue behind? C’mon, Science, if you can’t give us a cure for cancer, a pill so people with Celiac disease can eat bread, or an Oreo that will help me lose weight—at least you can give us stickers that don’t leave gunk on our books! Especially, especially when it covers the ISBN number for those of us trying to scan them.

bullet What’s worse than stickers are those things that look like stickers, but aren’t. Just stupid, garish circles that have been printed on the cover and really only serve to obscure the image. What’s the point?

bullet I have a grievance with Movie/TV covers on books. C’mon people, this is stupid. Sure, it maybe helps sell more copies of the books—but has any book been improved by one of these covers? No! Knock it off! And especially, stop it with sticking pictures of actors on books in a series that haven’t been adapted, just because some have (yeah, I’m looking at you, Longmire).

bullet Similarly, what’s up with publishers changing the look of series covers—and or the height of the books—in a series? I like when they match and I resent having to go buy second copies of the old ones to have a nice matching set. (which I generally avoid, but I think about doing it a lot).

bullet It’s another year without the next installment from Rothfuss/Martin. No, my grievance isn’t with them, it’s with the entitled “fan” of the work, whinging at every conceivable moment about how long it’s taking them. Because there’s nothing else around to read? Let ’em get it right and use that energy to support someone whose books could use it.

(still—Martin, Rothfuss, Lynch…c’mon…)

bullet Whether it’s from a mainstream publisher, indie press, or a self-pubbed book, we have the technology and (theoretically??) the education so there’s no reason for there to be missing/extra punctuation or misspelled words in books.

Obviously, this doesn’t apply to book blog posts. No one paid for these.

bullet I have a grievance with the Book Blogging Community. There are way too many good book bloggers out there to keep up with. Some of you need to write less often! Also, you make the rest of us look bad.

bullet I’ve got a grievance with running out of places to put books and bookshelves that aren’t like a bag of holding or TARDIS and can’t take an increasing number of books. So…physics, I guess. Yeah, that’s right, Laws of the Physics, I’m calling you out. Get your act together!

bullet And what’s more…I lost my train of thought. Still, I managed to get a little off my chest, that felt good.

And now, the Feats of Strength

Time for Feats of Strength
This is going to be a doozy. Possibly my greatest Festivus Feat of Strength to date.

For my Feat of Strength, I’m going to watch the Netflix movie, Spenser Confidential. Theoretically based on Robert B. Parker’s Wonderland by Ace Atkins, directed by Peter Berg, with a screenplay by Sean O’Keefe and Brian Helgeland, and starring Mark Wahlberg, Winston Duke, Alan Arkin, and Iliza Shlesinger. That’s not a big deal, really, I endured it before.
Spenser Confiential
However…this time I’m going to do it without complaining to anyone—friend, stranger, wife, child, or dog—while doing so. I will not write about the experience, post anything on the Internet or social media (beyond this post), or do anything of a similar nature. I will keep all of my comments, complaints, criticisms, or comparisons to the novels or previous TV/film adaptations to myself. Furthermore, I shall endeavor to enjoy the experience. I honestly don’t know if I can pull this off, but I will attempt it.

Let’s see how the rest of you do with your feats.

* I’ve gotten a little feedback about this—it’s pretty clear I’m a Christian. So why do I do a Festivus post instead of something about Christmas? While I do think that believers have the liberty to celebrate the Nativity if they desire to, I’m ambivalent toward the day, and hesitant to make a big deal out of it. So, I don’t. If you’re curious, I thought this episode of The Heidelcast did a decent job of articulating many of the issues (without getting nasty about it).

On the other hand, Festivus is just silly fun. Hope you don’t mind…

Happy Festivus

Festivus 2021: For the Rest of Us

Shunning the commercialization of Christmas*/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Santaween/Chrismukkah, we’re again celebrating Festivus (for the rest of us) here at The Irresponsible Reader.

Let’s begin our observance!

Festivus PoleHere I am with my Festivus pole. I really appreciate the very high strength to weight ratio, it’s a mighty fine pole.

Note the lack of distracting tinsel. It’s very important.

And now, let the Airing of Grievances begin.

Airing of Grievances
Yes, some of these are only slightly revised from previous Festivus posts. Which is to be expected, it’s not like the entire universe fixed itself after I posted one lil’ post. It’s going to take at least three, right?

bullet I’m seriously disappointed that Ace Atkins is leaving the Spenser series. Sure, it’s best for him and his career to go off and work on his own projects, which will undoubtedly be great. But speaking selfishly (which is the point of grievances, right?), I don’t want him to go!

bullet Publishers are starting to use AI readers instead of humans for audiobooks! This is madness—we don’t need to make things easier for our new computer overlords by letting them lull us into letting our defenses down by reading our stories to us. Also, they don’t do a good job of it.

bullet I have a grievance with the book publishing/selling/marketing industry. It’s 2021, why are we still placing stickers on books? If we have to do that, why hasn’t Science come up with a sticker that doesn’t leave a gummy residue behind? C’mon, Science, if you can’t give us a cure for cancer, a pill so people with Celiac disease can eat bread, or an Oreo that will help me lose weight—at least you can give us stickers that don’t leave gunk on our books! Especially, especially when it covers the ISBN number for those of us trying to scan them.

bullet What’s worse than stickers are those things that look like stickers, but aren’t. Just stupid, garish circles that have been printed on the cover and really only serve to obscure the image.

bullet I have a grievance with Movie/TV covers on books. C’mon people, this is stupid. Sure, it maybe helps sell more copies of the books—but has any book been improved by one of these covers? No! Knock it off! And especially, stop it with sticking pictures of actors on books in a series that haven’t been adapted, just because some have (yeah, I’m looking at you, Longmire).

bullet Similarly, what’s up with publishers changing the look of series covers? I like when they match and I resent having to go buy second copies of the old ones to have a nice matching set. (which I generally avoid, but I think about doing it a lot).

bullet It’s another year without the next installment from Rothfuss/Martin. No, my grievance isn’t with them, it’s with the entitled “fan” of the work, whinging at every conceivable moment about how long it’s taking them. Because there’s nothing else around to read? Let ’em get it right and use that energy to support someone whose books could use it.

(still—Martin, Rothfuss, Lynch…c’mon…)

bullet Whether it’s from a mainstream publisher, indie press, or a self-pubbed book, we have the technology and (theoretically??) the education so there’s no reason for there to be missing/extra punctuation or misspelled words in books.

Obviously, this doesn’t apply to book blog posts. No one paid for these.

bullet I have a grievance with the Book Blogging Community. There are way too many good book bloggers out there to keep up with. Some of you need to write less often! Also, you make the rest of us look bad.

bullet I’ve got a grievance with running out of places to put books and bookshelves that aren’t like a bag of holding or TARDIS and can’t take an increasing number of books. So…physics, I guess. Yeah, that’s right, Laws of the Physics, I’m calling you out. Get your act together!

bullet I’ve got a grievance with myself for putting off planning this post so long. I’m having a hard time coming up with Feats of Strength. I really need to start brainstorming earlier in the year…

bullet And what’s more…I lost my train of thought. Still, I managed to get a little off my chest, that felt good.

And now, the Feats of Strength

Time for Feats of Strength
In 2019, for my Feat of Strength, I held my TBR above my head, which I thought was pretty impressive. Then last year, I did something even harder—I signed out of Netgalley without requesting a single book. This year…

2021 Feat of Strength
Yes, that’s me lifting an entire bookshop. If that’s not a Feat of Strength, I don’t know what is. Okay, sure, it may be miniature, but it’s really hard to hold that steady without any of those teeny-tiny books falling off the shelf…

Let’s see how the rest of you do with your feats.

* I’ve gotten a little feedback about this—it’s pretty clear I’m a Christian. So why do I do a Festivus post instead of something about Christmas? While I do think that believers have the liberty to celebrate the Nativity if they desire to, I’m ambivalent toward the day, and hesitant to make a big deal out of it. So, I don’t. If you’re curious, I thought this episode of The Heidelcast did a decent job of articulating many of the issues (without getting nasty about it).

On the other hand, Festivus is just silly fun. Hope you don’t mind…

Happy Festivus

Festivus 2020: For the Rest of Us

Shunning the commercialization of Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Santaween/Chrismukkah, we’re again celebrating Festivus (for the rest of us) here at The Irresponsible Reader.

Let’s begin our observance!

Festivus PoleHere I am with my Festivus pole. My wife very kindly upgraded me to a full-size version this year. I really appreciate the very high strength to weight ratio, it’s a mighty fine pole.

Note the lack of distracting tinsel. It’s very important.

And now, let the Airing of Grievances begin.

Airing of Grievances
Yes, some of these are only slightly revised from last year. Which is to be expected, it’s not like the entire universe fixed itself after I posted one lil’ post. It’s going to take at least three, right?
bullet I have a grievance with the book publishing/selling/marketing industry. It’s 2020, why are we still placing stickers on books? If we have to do that, why hasn’t Science come up with a sticker that doesn’t leave a gummy residue behind? C’mon, Science, if you can’t give us a cure for cancer, a pill so people with Celiac disease can eat bread, or an Oreo that will help me lose weight—at least you can give us stickers that don’t leave gunk on our books! Especially, especially when it covers the ISBN number for those of us trying to scan them.

bullet What’s worse than stickers are those things that look like stickers, but aren’t. Just stupid, garish circles that have been printed on the cover and really only serve to obscure the image.

bullet I have a grievance with Movie/TV covers on books. C’mon people, this is stupid. Sure, it maybe helps sell more copies of the books—but has any book been improved by one of these covers? No! Knock it off! And especially, stop it with sticking pictures of actors on books in a series that haven’t been adapted, just because some have (yeah, I’m looking at you, Longmire).

bullet It’s another year without the next installment from Rothfuss/Martin. No, my grievance isn’t with them, it’s with the entitled “fan” of the work, whinging at every conceivable moment about how long it’s taking them. Because there’s nothing else around to read? Let ’em get it right and use that energy to support someone whose books could use it.

(still—Martin, Rothfuss…c’mon…Butcher published two books this year. While I’m at it, Scott Lynch—The Gentlemen Bastards need to get back in action, too)

bullet Whether it’s from a mainstream publisher, indie press, or a self-pubbed book, we have the technology and (theoretically??) the education so there’s no reason for there to be missing/extra punctuation or misspelled words in books.

Obviously, this doesn’t apply to book blog posts. No one paid for these.

bullet I have a grievance with the Book Blogging Community. There are way too many good book bloggers out there to keep up with. Some of you need to write less often! Also, you make the rest of us look bad.

bullet I’ve got a grievance with running out of places to put books and bookshelves that aren’t like a bag of holding or TARDIS and can’t take an increasing number of books. So…physics, I guess. Yeah, that’s right, Laws of the Physics, I’m calling you out. Get your act together!

bullet I’ve got a grievance with how hard it can be to pick the next book to read despite having piles of books (see above grievance) waiting to be read/multiple files on an e-reader. I know it’s not just me who endures this, so there’s gotta be a conspiracy afoot here. At the same time…could publishing take a break for just two or three months? Hard to catch up on a TBR/backlist when you keep putting out new things that are tantalizing.

bullet And what’s more…I lost my train of thought.

Time for Feats of Strength
So last year, for my Feat of Strength, I held my TBR above my head, and thought about repeating that feat this year—as the list has grown, it would’ve been more impressive. But, I decided to go for something even harder:

Netgalley Feat of Strength
Yes, that’s me signing out of Netgalley without requesting a single book. It can be done, despite what you might think (similar to walking out of Costco without spending over $100)—but it’s tough. If that’s not a Feat of Strength, I don’t know what is.

Let’s see how the rest of you do with your feats.


Happy Festivus

Festivus 2019: For the Rest of Us

Shunning the commercialization of Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Santaween/Chrismukkah, we’re celebrating Festivus for the rest of us here at The Irresponsible Reader.

Let’s begin our observance!

Festivus PoleHere I am with my Festivus pole. Yeah, it’s a little small, but I’d rather spend money on books than the full aluminum pole. Very high strength to weight ratio, nevertheless.

Note the lack of distracting tinsel. It’s very important.


And now, let the Airing of Grievances begin.

Airing of Grievances
bullet I have a grievance with the It’s 2019, why are we still placing stickers on books? If we have to do that, why hasn’t Science come up with a sticker that doesn’t leave a gummy residue behind? C’mon, Science, if you can’t give us a cure for cancer, a pill so people with Celiac disease can eat bread, or an Oreo that will help me lose weight — at least you can give us stickers that don’t leave gunk on our books!

bullet I have a grievance with Movie/TV covers on books. C’mon people, this is stupid. Sure, it maybe helps sell more copies of the books–but has any book been improved by one of these covers? No! Knock it off!

bullet It’s another year without the next installment from Rothfuss/Butcher/Martin. No, my grievance isn’t with them, it’s with the entitled “fan” of the work, whining at every conceivable moment about how long it’s taking them. Because there’s nothing else around to read? Let ’em get it right and use that energy to support someone whose books could use it.

(still–Martin, Rothfuss…c’mon…Butcher was able to get something ready to go.)

bullet Whether it’s from a mainstream publisher, indie press or a self-pubbed book, we have the technology and (theoretically??) the education that there’s no reason for there to be missing/extra punctuation or misspelled words in books.

bullet I have a grievance with the Book Blogging Community. There are way too many good book bloggers out there to keep up with. Some of you need to write less often! Also, you make the rest of us look bad.

bullet I’ve got a grievance with running out of places to put books and bookshelves that aren’t like a bag of holding or TARDIS and can’t take an increasing number of books. So…physics, I guess. Yeah, that’s right, Laws of the Physics, I’m calling you out. Get your act together!

bullet I’ve got a grievance with how hard it can be to pick the next book to read despite a having piles of books (see above grievance) waiting to be read/multiple files on an e=reader. I know it’s not just me who endures this, so there’s gotta be a conspiracy afoot here.

bullet And what’s more…I lost my train of thought.


Time for Feats of Strength

Feat of StrengthFor my Feat of Strenth, here I hold my entire TBR over my head.

(actual photo)

Let’s see how the rest of you do with your feats.


Happy Festivus

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