Tag: Guest Post Page 4 of 7

GUEST POST: 7 Tips for Creating a Home Library

On March 8, 2022

Every so often, the good people at Siege Media send me a nice infographic to share. It’s legitimately one of my favorite things to find in my Inbox. I think you’ll enjoy this one, and the nice introduction that they sent to go with it.

7 Tips for Creating a Home Library by Jennifer Anderson

Ever seen those picture-perfect home libraries and wish you had your own?

Adding a home library, or the specific place in the home for storing all of one’s favorite reads, is a bookworm’s dream for a reason. The beautifully organized shelving offers both a decorative touch to any space and a peaceful respite for the avid reader. You may have your favorite digital or audiobooks, but nothing beats an extensive library of physical books.

In this guide, we explain how to make a home library by starting with seven simple tips. Keep reading to learn everything you need to begin creating your own personal collection.

1. Analyze Your Collection
The first step to creating a home library is to gather all the books you currently own and sort them by category. You might find that you already have enough books to fill up your personal collection. If not, you’ll want to determine which kinds of books you want to add to your library.

Taking note of how many books you have will help you determine how much space you need for your home library.

2. Find the Space
Once you’ve determined how many books you have, you’ll need to find a space in your home that can accommodate your collection. It’s best to avoid spaces on outside walls, since their temperature can change frequently.

In addition, steer clear of areas where you eat and drink to avoid pests. Instead, opt for spaces you don’t use as much, like under beds or in corner nooks.

3. Determine Your Budget
Next, you’ll need to figure out a budget for your home library renovation. Take note of any costs that come with the storage and accessories you want, such as shelving, seating, and cushions.

If you don’t have enough books to fill your space, factor in any additional costs for book purchases. Check out compilations in your desired genre, like some of the best nonfiction books, and determine the price of those additions.

4. Choose Your Shelving
There are two main types of shelving used in home libraries: built-in and freestanding. Built-in shelving refers to permanent fixtures built into the walls of the home. Alternatively, freestanding shelving is a movable fixture, such as a bookcase.

The type you choose will depend on the kind of look you want, as well as whether you want your library to be temporary or permanent.

5. Think About Lighting
Since your home library is where you’ll do the most reading, it’s critical to have ideal lighting. To do so, you’ll want to make sure the natural and artificial light in the room meet your needs.

Try to choose a room with a window that lets in a lot of natural light during the day. From there, add lamps for accent lighting that highlights your home library and makes it easier to read at night.

6. Add Lots of Color
Many home libraries make great use of color, in the form of both books and extra elements. To give your space your desired color palette, consider painting your shelving, putting on wallpaper, or adding colorful trinkets on your shelves.

Whichever colors you choose, just make sure to match your home library’s color scheme with the rest of the room.

7. Pick an Organization Style
Your home library is your own personal collection, so it’s important to decide on an organization style that makes the most sense for you. Popular styles include chronological, alphabetical, by color, or by genre.

For those who have kids, place their favorites like the Harry Potter series on lower shelves so they’re within reach.

Making a home library can seem like a daunting task, but it’s actually easier than you think. Simply by following these seven tips, you can start creating the home library of your dreams.

For even more information and tips about creating a home library, take a look at the infographic below.

There’s a Reason I Write by Ian Patrick Robinson

By HCNewton

On October 7, 2021

In Books, Ian Patrick, Miscellany, News/Misc., Strolling Down Amnesia Lane

Strolling Down Amnesia Lane

There’s a Reason I Write

by Ian Patrick Robinson

In 1996 I was reading the hardback edition of Fight Club. This is the only book that’s really resonated with me. The power of the language and the themes it explored have stood the test of time. If you’ve seen the film then it would be easy to think the book’s all about toxic masculinity – it’s far from that.

The following is my own opinion based on reading the book many times. It’s not to be considered in any way a critique worthy of note. So, without trying to give any spoilers, here’s my take on the book that resonated with me in 96.

The narrator’s going through what could be described as existential angst. He’s in a job he hates and can see no way out of until he meets Tyler Durden, a soap salesman who introduces him to his take on life. In 1996, I was six years in a police career that would last twenty-seven. I was young, but not what I would consider to be impressionable. I was working in the Criminal Investigation Department where the regular fallout of many a punch up would await me in the cells each morning. Each one with a tale of innocence to tell. Innocent until proven guilty, that is.

It was a time where CCTV wasn’t prominent, mobile phones weren’t a thing, and pagers were only beginning to come in. It was a time of face-to-face engagement, or you picked up a landline and had a conversation. Witness statements were taken on paper and interviews were just beginning to be taped—yes, taped. Fight Club was all about conversation—conversations between the narrator and those he would seek in self-help groups he didn’t belong to. Conversations with all walks of life who’d come together to fight, to bond, to express their desire for freedom, freedom from expectations of conformity to the “norm” and freedom to be themselves.

Every individual I came in contact with had a choice of how they would react at the time prior to committing the offence. They just didn’t take the option of least resistance. There are many quotes in Fight Club that the author, Chuck Palahniuk, nailed. Google them to see the best, or better still read the book.

In 2015 I was diagnosed with an incurable muscle-wasting condition. A condition with no name that fell under the umbrella of Muscular Dystrophies.

My policing career was over after 27 yrs. Yes, I could have stayed on doing a desk job, but that wasn’t why I joined. Now I write books. Books of crime fiction and I’m working on others that aren’t. Rubicon, Stoned Love, Fools Gold, and How the Wired Weep are my attempt at urban noir. Latent Damage, Cover Blown, and Shots Fired a stab at police procedural.

There’s a reason I write and that’s due to Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club:

“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”

What will you do?

It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.

Header image by jplenio from Pixabay

Back to the Past by Jeff Quest

By HCNewton

On October 6, 2021

In Books, Miscellany, News/Misc., Strolling Down Amnesia Lane

Strolling Down Amnesia Lane

Back to the Past

by Jeff Quest

I would love to say I was the 19-20-year-old who read Proust and Pynchon with regularity and could quote from the oeuvre of Whitman and Wordsworth; but I wasn’t then, and still am not now.

Instead, where I found myself in the year 1996 was that for the first time I was within walking distance to three bookstores, had access to a university library with tons of books/scripts, and more time to dedicate to reading than I can even imagine currently. That time of my life was when my reading options began to expand beyond the low-hanging fruit.

I was very much into the branded sci-fi/fantasy of the time so the Star Wars X-Wing novels and various Star Trek books loomed large in my reading. For all of my fantasy reading of the time, I managed to skip the book released that year that would come to dominate the fantasy world over the past ten years—A Game of Thrones.

My mystery/thriller/espionage fandom hadn’t fully formed yet. I would pick up the likely suspects you’d find in the drug store spinner rack, Cussler, Clancy, Ludlum, but I hadn’t yet tried some of the more challenging authors that now top my favorites list like Eric Ambler, John le Carré, or Len Deighton. I’d read Sherlock Holmes and other mysteries, but I’m happy that my mystery reading has broadened to include fun series authors like Rex Stout, SJ Rozan, and Will Thomas plus a recent class has introduced me to several authors whose work has been translated into English.

I did find one enduring read that I can trace back to that particular year – P.G. Wodehouse. His Mr. Mulliner omnibus introduced me to an unknown world of vicars, broadway producers, movie stars and writers who proceed to get into more zany situations than you can shake a stick at. He’s a writer that I love to return to, especially any time when life gets stressful and I need to shift to a different world where the stakes are low.

1996 also found my reading including a lot of plays and I discovered one of my favorite playwrights – David Ives. Although it’s almost always preferable to watch theater rather than read it, in Ives’ case the reading is just as pleasurable. His beguiling short play The Universal Language, about a con man that “teaches” his students how to speak his “universal language” made up of nonsense words, is one of my favorites. Back in ‘96 I was dying to perform in one of his short plays and I pledged to will a production of his work into existence, something I eventually succeeded in doing five years later. That show was also how I started dating my wife, so the seeds of my life now were truly planted back in 1996.

Jeff Quest is a reader with less time to read than he’d prefer. He writes about spy fiction at SpyWrite.com and podcasts on Nero Wolfe at LikeTheWolfe.com, Mick Herron at BarbicanStation.com and spies at Spybrary.com.

Header image by jplenio from Pixabay

1996: The Year a Book Turned Things Around by K.R.R. Lockhaven

By HCNewton

On October 5, 2021

In Books, Miscellany, News/Misc., Strolling Down Amnesia Lane

Strolling Down Amnesia Lane

1996: The Year a Book Turned Things Around

by K.R.R. Lockhaven

In 1996 I was a junior in high school with an ever-growing urge to drop out.

The shitty thing was, I had always been good at school up to that point. Earlier in my academic career, I had been given a chance to join this gifted program, but I had spurned it because all I wanted to do was drink, talk to girls, and steal everything that wasn’t nailed down. The change had been sudden.

I could try to blame this change on hanging with the “wrong crowd,” which was definitely a part of it, but the blame was mostly on me. I had very little self-confidence back then, and even less purpose in life. Looking back, I can see that a big part of it was the fact that I had given up on a very important part of my life to that point.

I had given up on fantasy books, both reading them and writing them.

Throughout middle school and into high school I had been an avid reader of the Dragonlance series, and I had started writing a fantasy series of my own. My books were so close to the Dragonlance books in content they probably could have been considered plagiarism, but I absolutely loved writing them. I would lovingly draw each character and make detailed maps of my made-up worlds. I wish I still had them, but nearly all of it has been lost over the years.

I was extremely nerdy, but I didn’t have any nerdy friends. So once I became aware that my interests weren’t cool, I began to hide them from people. What once brought me joy slowly became something shameful. Eventually, I abandoned the whole idea of writing and began to fill that void with all the wrong things.

Anyway, back to 1996, the year I picked up the book The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut. At this point I was no longer an avid reader, but I still had reading assignments from time to time in school. I wish I remembered the circumstances, as it ended up being such a pivotal moment in my life, but I don’t. What I do remember is how that book completely floored me. It brought back all that love of stories I used to have, and although it took a while to fully realize it, it sparked the idea that would soon give my life the purpose I had been missing.

I don’t want to spoil the book at all, but I think it’s safe for me to say a few things about it. For example, its explanation for the purpose of all human life is one of the darkest and funniest things I’ve ever read. It’s hard to explain how that changed my way of thinking, though. I guess the idea that there was no ultimate purpose in life, or that such things could be joked about, was very freeing. My teenaged mind hadn’t really contemplated such things before, but Vonnegut’s wisdom and satire had brought so many new ideas to the forefront. One of those ideas came from the following line: “I can think of no more stirring symbol of man’s humanity to man than a fire engine.” This one line in a book I just happened to pick up in 1996 led me to where I am today, sitting in a fire station, writing a blog post about reading and writing. The goal of becoming a firefighter, although vague at first, helped to keep me on track through some tumultuous times.

I’m currently working as a firefighter while pursuing my middle school dream of being a fantasy author. My writing is nothing like Dragonlance, or Vonnegut, but I can definitely see their influences in everything I write.

My book, The Conjuring of Zoth-Avarex: The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Dragon in the Multiverse can be found here here and the follow-up, a Choose Your Own Adventure-style novella, can be found here here.

You can find me on Twitter—@Kyles137 or at my website krrlockhaven.com.

Header image by jplenio from Pixabay

Authorial Aspirations? Not So Much by Robert Germaux

By HCNewton

On October 4, 2021

In Books, Miscellany, News/Misc., Strolling Down Amnesia Lane

Strolling Down Amnesia Lane

Authorial Aspirations? Not So Much

by Robert Germaux

Okay, first, authorial? Really cool word, one I’d never come across until H.C.’s email giving me the outline for this guest post. You learn something new every day, right? And speaking of this guest post, travel with me back to 1996, when I was a tender lad of 50. Wait, no need to reach for the old abacus. I’ll save you the trouble. I’m old.

Getting back to the title of this piece, no, I had no authorial aspirations at that time. I was still three years away from taking advantage of an early retirement offer from the Pittsburgh Public Schools System, so the bulk of my “writing” that year consisted of the comments I wrote on the approximately 1500 student compositions I graded for my 9th and 11th grade English classes. Some of my students were very good writers, so the comments I wrote on their papers came pretty easily. On the other hand, many of my kids struggled with the process of transferring thoughts to paper, so after gently pointing out a few of their more egregious errors in spelling, grammar, syntax, etc., I also tried to add a positive note or two, which at times involved a certain degree of creativity on my part.

What was I reading in 1996? Well, that’s an entirely different situation. No matter how busy I was with my “schoolwork,” I always found time for recreational reading. I particularly enjoyed the detective series by Robert B. Parker, Michael Connelly, Sue Grafton (I think 1996 was M is for Malice) and Robert Crais, but I also loved reading P.G. Wodehouse’s Bertie and Jeeves stories, which my father had introduced me to when I was just sixteen or seventeen. Beyond books, I read magazines: Sports Illustrated, Time, People, Life, Ladies Home Journal (the only periodical my dentist had in his waiting room), TV Guide, etc. Basically, if you wrote it, I’d read it. And, of course, I always glanced through Pittsburgh’s two daily newspapers. (Sadly, today, the ‘Burgh, like so many other cities in this country, is a one-paper town.)

So, no writing back in ’96, other than the aforementioned composition comments. But shortly after I retired, my wife urged me to give writing a try. As usual, Cynthia’s suggestion was a good one, because now, here I am twelve books later, and although I didn’t realize it at the time, all that reading and grading of papers written by teenagers in 1996, along with the time I spent putting eyes on books, magazines, newspapers, heck, even billboards on drives across Pennsylvania to visit my wife’s family, all of that definitely played a part in preparing me for my post-teaching career as a writer. Of course, it wasn’t just 1996. It was also all the years before and since. It’s an ongoing process for all of us who write. It’s who we are. It’s how we’re hard-wired.

Twenty-five years from now, in 2046, when H.C. and his wife are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary (I recommend a cruise of the Mediterranean) and I’m turning 100, I’m sure I’ll still be reading and writing, maybe even submitting the occasional Senior’s Perspective guest post to The Irresponsible Reader.

Robert Germaux and his wife, Cynthia, live outside of Pittsburgh. After three decades as a high school English teacher and now more than twenty years into retirement, Bob is beginning to have serious doubts about his lifelong dream of pitching for the Pirates. While waiting for that call from the team’s GM, Bob has written five books about Pittsburgh private detective Jeremy Barnes, two books about Pittsburgh police detective Daniel Hayes (who hunts serial killers in the Steel City), and two stand-alone books: The Backup Husband (a romance with a twist) and Love Stories (a semibiographical novel based on the six weeks Cynthia spent in Europe when she was seventeen). In addition, with tongue planted firmly in cheek, Bob has written what he likes to call his Grammar Sex Trilogy, three collections of humorous essays.

You can find links to all of Bob’s books (and download free samples) at his Amazon Author Page.

Header image by jplenio from Pixabay

Strolling Down Amnesia Lane—An Introduction to This Week’s Series

By HCNewton

On October 4, 2021

In Books, News/Misc., Strolling Down Amnesia Lane

Strolling Down Amnesia Lane
I have never had a week’s worth of posts scheduled before today. I’m excited for the series for that alone. I did that because I’m out of town for the week with my wife and as a gift to her, I’m not going to work on the blog. I”ll look in on things from time to time, I’m sure, but I won’t be doing anything until Saturday (and I’m only halfway sure I’ll bother with a Saturday Miscellany). It’s our 25th Anniversary this week, and I’m not thinkng about work or this blog.

So I put out a call to readers of this space to chip into a different kind of Guest Post series. The pitch was:

Think back to 1996. What were you reading? What were you writing—did you have authorial aspirations at that point? If you weren’t a reader/writer at that point, can you point to why? What were you doing at time that prepared you to become the reader/writer you are today? Basically, you and the written word in 1996—do with it what you will (heck, if you’re in the mood to write an alternate history about what could’ve been, go for that).

Obviously, 1996 was picked as the theme, because that’s the year I’m thinking a lot about this week. I didn’t expect it to be as pivotal for every contributor as it was for me, but one of my assumptions is that for pretty much any year, we can find some things going on that are part of the foundation for where we are now. And I thought it’d be fun to explore that a bit.

So that’s what we’re going to do this week. Yes, so we have writers at various stages of their careers, bloggers and a podcaster–but our common thread is the written word. And the influence of what we’ve read has shaped us into what we are now (usually without us realizing it at the time).

We’ll start things off later this morning with Robert Germaux, indie crime writer. Tuesday we’ll hear from K.R.R. Lockhaven, firefighter/fantasy author. On Wednesday blogger and podcaster Jeff Quest is up to bat. On Thursday, Ian Patrick Robinson—one of the best Crime Fiction writers around—will wrap up the guest contributions. And then on Friday, I’ll hopefully not bring down the average quality of the series too much.

I really want to thank everyone who expressed interest in this series—and for the couple of people who weren’t able to come up with something, I still thank you for the time (and don’t blame you—I almost didn’t contribute anything myself). But for those four who persevered? I cannot thank you enough—this was not an easy task. Each contribution made me smile and I can.

To everyone else who’s read this far, I hope you enjoy our looks back to twenty-five years ago as we stroll down Amnesia Lane…

GUEST POST: Reading Nook Ideas for Book Lovers

By HCNewton

On September 14, 2021

In News/Misc.

The friendly people over at Siege Media dropped by the other day with a post full of ideas for people putting together a reading nook–or those who might want to do that. Check out the nice intro they provided and then follow the links to their longer piece and all various mood boards they have to go with it. There are some great ideas there.

Now that many of us are working from home, we need a dedicated spot in the house to retreat after a long day. Why not carve out one specific area as a reading nook? All you need is a chair, a few comfy pillows, and a place to stack your books!

Those who are a little more on the creative side, however, may prefer some design inspiration for their nooks. If you’re a bibliophile, what better way to create a reading nook than centering it around books?

You can start by modeling your space after a genre. The fantasy genre, for example, can inspire a certain look and feel of your reading nook, such as a mysterious attic, or magical closet (any Narnia or Harry Potter fans?). You could add interior design details to mimic the story, such as celestial decor, glass jars full of “magical sand,” and candles or string lights for an evening glow.

If you have children, creating a reading nook for them can be twice the fun. Consider bright, mood-boosting colors, wall decal illustrations, and hanging quotes from their favorite authors (you can’t go wrong with Dr. Seuss!). The goal is to create a playful, fun environment that encourages the kids to read and use their imagination.

Lastly, if you prefer decorating the reading nook after an inspiring author, think of something that reminds you of their style or writing method. Ernest Hemingway, for example, has a minimalist, nautical style that recurs throughout several of his books. You could incorporate maritime decor into your nook and use neutral colors such as teal and gray.

Still need inspiration? Check out the infographic below and see more reading nook ideas from Angi .

If you want to see this image full-sized, just click here. And then be sure to read the longer post on Angi.

GUEST POST: Why Do We Write? by Robert Germaux

By HCNewton

On April 2, 2021

In Fiction

Why Do We Write?

In 1855, the difficulty of writing was described by some long-forgotten wit who said that words came from an author “drop by drop.” Jump ahead to 1949, when Pulitzer Prize winning sportswriter Red Smith, when asked if writing a daily column was hard, replied, “Why, no. You simply sit down at the typewriter, open your veins, and bleed.”

There are numerous other versions of the “open your veins and bleed” school of writing that have been ascribed to many people, including Ernest Hemingway. Unfortunately, there is no real evidence that Hemingway ever actually said anything along those lines, so I guess I’m not going to be able to sneak a good Papa reference into this essay. Another time, perhaps.

Getting back to the topic du jour, why do so many writers describe their craft in such disparaging terms? Apparently, a lot of us love the finished product but maybe not so much the process of getting there. Dorothy Parker, a founding member of the famed Algonquin Round Table, evidently was speaking for a good many writers when she said, “I hate writing. I love having written.”

While researching this piece, I had no trouble finding quotes about writers who claim to hate writing, but the reverse was definitely more difficult. Certainly, you can find people who say they enjoy writing, but they appear to be a distinct minority. For every author who said he or she loved writing, I found at least five or six who fell into the “tortured writer” category, which I have to admit came as a surprise. I mean, I don’t know about you, but if I was voluntarily engaging in an activity that I believed could in any way be compared to torture, I’d put an end to my participation in that activity right quick.

So, again, why do we write? Personally, I didn’t begin writing until I’d retired after three decades of teaching high school English, and it wasn’t until a good many years (and a bunch of books) later that I felt comfortable telling people I was a writer, as opposed to a retired teacher. Why do I write? Well, I can assure you it’s not for the money. At this moment, I have nine books on Amazon: five mysteries, two love stories and two collections of humorous essays. My books sell for $2.99, which means that after Amazon dips its beak, my cut is a hefty $2.05 for every sale. So that 50^th wedding anniversary cruise of the Mediterranean my wife and I were lucky enough to take just before the pandemic hit was courtesy of our teacher pensions and social security, not the man of the house’s book royalties.

I don’t hate writing. I wouldn’t keep doing it if I did (see previous reference: torture). Is writing hard for me sometimes? Of course, just as I’m sure it is for you. If I’m smack in the middle of one of my detective novels, do I enjoy waking up at 2:00 am and furiously scribbling down notes about scenes or dialogues I just found racing through my mind? Not really, but when I put those notes together the next day in another chapter of my book, it makes losing a bit of sleep the night before not so bad. If you’ve had similar experiences, you know what I mean. We just have to get those thoughts down. We just have to write.

To some degree, I think most writers are perfectionists, which explains Oscar Wilde’s quote about spending “all morning putting in a comma . . . and all afternoon taking it out.” Okay, that’s a little extreme, but you get the idea. My point here is that, as perfectionists, we like to be able to make sure that things work out the way we want them to, and creating our own little worlds is a great way to do just that.

One more note, this one maybe not so obvious. In fact, there’s a bit of irony involved. Writing is among the most solitary of professions, yet its end result is to link us to others (many others, we hope). That simple act of sitting down in front of your computer or laptop (or, in my case, at my kitchen table with a yellow legal pad and my Pilot Precise V5 extra fine point pen) allows us to make a connection with the rest of the world. And I think in the end, for me at least, that connection is both reason and reward for why I write.

I hope you’re in that minority of writers who not only have to write, but also actually like what you do. My experience has been that, unfortunately, most people don’t really enjoy their work. If you’re a writer, you’re already in a select group of people with skills that appear to be rapidly diminishing in our society. So take advantage of your talent. Have fun with it. Use it to form those connections with others. It may be frustrating at times (especially in the middle of the night when you turn on the light and awaken your ever-understanding and supportive spouse because you just figured out whodunit), but trust me, you’ll feel much better the next day, when you write that final chapter in your latest masterpiece.

About the Author

Robert Germaux is currently hard at work at that kitchen table, putting the finishing touches on Grammar Sex 3, his third book of humorous essays. At least, he hopes they’re humorous. You can find more information about Bob and his books at his Amazon Author Page.

GUEST POST: 12 Books Every Home Owning Bookworm Needs

By HCNewton

On February 18, 2021

In Non-Fiction

It’s been quite a while since I’ve had one of these to share, but long-time readers know that I love a good infographic. The friendly people over at Siege Media dropped by the other day with a post and an infographic for me to share with you that’s timely for me as Mrs. Reader and I are settling into our new digs and taking on a few home improvement/maintenance projects. Check out the nice intro they provided and then follow the links to their longer piece and the full infographic (I’ve provided a snippet of it below).

How many books can you say really changed your life? A handful, maybe? While mysteries and science fiction novels may be a great way to pass the time, they are likely only a few on your bookshelves you’ll return to time and time again.

One genre you can’t really say that about is non-fiction hobby books. Books that break down a complicated topic for you and help you master it, including categories like home improvement projects and organization hacks. And if you are a homeowner, or you’re a renter who doesn’t like your landlord, you may be looking to learn how to fix your home yourself.

The following books are catered to those looking to get into new hobbies at home, to pass the time, or improve their day-to-day lives. You can learn how to garden, become a plant parent, organize your stuffed pantry or decorate your messy bedroom all while getting to participate in your favorite hobby: reading. What can be better than that?

Check out the infographic on best books for the home from the team at Hippo below.

Once again, the link to the full graphic.

GUEST POST: Making Peace With My Face by Samuel Moore-Sobel

By HCNewton

On July 24, 2020

In (Auto)Biography, Non-Fiction

Earlier in the week, I threw a spotlight on Can You See My Scars by Samuel Moore-Sobel, and now Moore-Sobel is stopping by with this guest post. Give it a read and then go check out his book.

Making Peace With My Face

I used to hate my face.

As a teenager, I was in a painful accident involving sulfuric acid. The accident left me with scars on my face and arms. Gone was the smooth skin, replaced by rough, red, seemingly foreign objects covering the part of me most people see first when I come into view. As a result, looking in the mirror became a painful act.

I, like so many others, had something that I wanted to change about my physical appearance. I wanted my face to revert to its previous state. I looked back at old family pictures and longed to resemble the image of my previous self. I didn’t know how to adjust to my new appearance. All I wanted was to don a different face.

I liked the one with which I emerged from my mother’s womb. I liked the way my face grew during my childhood years. Even as a teenager, I enjoyed growing facial hair, only to shave days later, returning my face to its most natural state. During those days, I wanted to share my clean-shaven face with the world.

Motivated by pain and hurt, I spent years attempting to come to peace with my face. Foolishly, I believed some measure of success would drive the feelings of insecurity and inadequacy away for good. Achieving good grades in college, securing a job after graduation. Making a good salary and buying a home. Surely such drastic and positive changes in circumstances would bring me the sense of peace I so greatly desired.

Until such realities did nothing to change what I felt inside. So instead, I turned to relationships, eager to invite a woman into my life in order to have her tell me what I needed to hear. To have someone fall for me, despite my appearance. To love me even though I was unable to offer them a perfect face. I wanted a woman to smooth out the edges of my heart, and inject a sense of attractiveness into my soul.

Whether or not we have endured a traumatic accident, we all do these things, don’t we? There are a myriad of ways to self-medicate, to wish away the pain of the past in order to gain some semblance of peace in the present. So alluring can these forms of distraction be that they carry us away from being able to fully unpack the baggage we inevitably collect as we make our way through life.

Circumstances can so easily rule our existence. Dictating the way we move forward, the decisions we make, the relationships we enter, the life we pursue. Our deep longing and desire to be whole can lead us towards embarking upon life-altering courses. Sometimes, making peace with ourselves is the only way to break free from destructive patterns of thinking and behavior.

For me, it meant I had to make peace with my face. Reframing my experience from one of loss to one of gain. To identify the pieces of myself developed in the wake of trauma, instead of focusing on the many things that evaporated in its wake. To realize I am more than the way I look, or the imperfections of my body, or the scars on my face.

So, while I may never be a male model, I’m not sure that was ever in the cards anyway. And, while my face will never fully be restored to its previous state, I’ve chosen to embrace the marks I carry as indications of survival. To see myself for more than the physical attributes of my being, and instead adopt a more holistic view of my personhood in a world so eager to judge others by how they look.

So to those of you struggling with body image, take heart. Your physicality, even perceived imperfections, help make you unique in a world clamoring for conformity. The scars you carry or the physical characteristics you wish you could change are an inherent part of your humanity. For better or worse, they are a part of you. And the world needs you, all of you.

Even the parts of yourself you wish you could change.

Samuel Moore-Sobel is the author of Can You See My Scars? His book is available for purchase through Mascot Books and on Amazon. To learn more about the author, visit www.samuelmoore-sobel.com