The Lemon Man
by Keith Bruton
DETAILS:
Publisher: Brash Books
Publication Date: May 27, 2022
Format: eBook
Length: 264
Read Date: August 3, 2023
I murdered a young father today. Shot him in the head. This is my job. Call me all the names you want— scumbag, snake, sneaky little lowlife, murderer. I don’t care what you think. This is what I do. I take care of (kill) people when they don’t obey the rules. The rules of the streets. The rules to life.
I do the work 99.9 percent of people don’t want to do. You hire me and I guarantee you will be happier because I’m getting rid of your problems. Sometimes it’s just a warning, you know, a slap on the wrist. But most of the time I’m here to kill.
What’s The Lemon Man About?
When Dublin hitman Patrick Callen finds a baby living in the squalor-filled apartment of his latest victim, he’s overcome by empathy. It’s not like he can call the authorities to come help or anything, right? On an impulse, an unexpected burst of compassion, or temporary insanity—he grabs the baby (after looking up how to change a diaper on YouTube and taking care of a much-neglected task) and takes him home.
Of course, it’s hard to achieve a work-home balance as a busy hitman, so Callen calls on the escort he’s been seeing lately for help. This spurs some
Meanwhile, Callen’s been having trouble with his work—it doesn’t seem like he has the taste for it anymore and is having trouble completing a few tasks. But he’s busier than ever and it seems like something’s changing for the crew he’s with. Maybe this is the first step toward a new phase of life for him. Assuming he can survive his current assignments (and all the life changes that taking care of an infant brings), that is.
So, what did I think about The Lemon Man?
As I’m leaving, Jack says, “It’s not the gun you’re having the problem with.”
Stories about hitmen turning a corner due to love or a child aren’t new—and I’m a sucker for them. So this is right up my alley. The mix of humor and tension/action fits this situation well. A bicycle-riding hitman alone is a fun idea. Bruton pulls off all of this with style and confidence.
Bruton takes full advantage of the strange—ludicrous, even—situation he puts his characters into. Callen running from the police while pushing a stroller is a fantastic scene and it had me grinning and chuckling throughout. His jobs that don’t go right (I’m thinking of one killing and one attempted threatening in particular) are the kinds of things we need to see more of in Crime Fiction—not necessarily played for laughs, either—but not all criminals succeed in their first attempts—targets don’t always respond the way one plans on, etc.
But it’s not just fun and games—sure, Callen has some doubts about his profession, he’s more than a little worried about what his boss is up to, and he’s not so sure he can get away with everything he’s trying to do (keep the child, save his friend that he’s discovering feelings for, etc.)—but this is what he does. It’s all he’s known. He doesn’t—can’t—just walk off into the sunset with his strange new family. Does he really want to?
Take out the lightness and quirks and you’re left with a pretty solid novel (although the baby would be hard to explain without that part). With them, you have a really fun and rewarding read.
I’m struggling to find something more to say without getting into the nuts and bolts of the plot and how it works out—so I’ll spare us all my attempts to struggle through. Here’s the main takeaway: this is a good, quirky, fast read that’ll leave you with putting Bruton on your radar like he is on mine.
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