Music Monday's originated at The Tattooed Book Geek's fantastic blog and has shown up hither, thither, and yon since then.
Honestly, this is something I’m working on…thought the song did a pretty good job of reminding me of that.
Author: HCNewton Page 44 of 634
The Faithful Executioner:
Life and Death, Honor and Shame in the Turbulent Sixteenth Century
by Joel F. Harrington, read by James Gillies
DETAILS:
Publisher: Novel Audio
Publication Date: October 24, 2017
Format: Unabridged Audiobook
Length: 9 hrs., 39 min.
Read Date: December 4-8, 2025
What Does the Publisher Say About The Faithful Executioner?
Based on the rare and until now overlooked journal of a Renaissance-era executioner, the noted historian Joel F. Harrington’s The Faithful Executioner takes us deep inside the alien world and thinking of Meister Frantz Schmidt of Nuremberg, who, during forty-five years as a professional executioner, personally put to death 394 individuals and tortured, flogged, or disfigured many hundreds more. But the picture that emerges of Schmidt from his personal papers is not that of a monster. Could a man who routinely practiced such cruelty also be insightful, compassionate—even progressive?
In The Faithful Executioner, Harrington vividly re-creates a life filled with stark contrasts, from the young apprentice’s rigorous training under his executioner father to the adult Meister Frantz’s juggling of familial duties with his work in the torture chamber and at the scaffold. With him we encounter brutal highwaymen, charming swindlers, and tragic unwed mothers accused of infanticide, as well as patrician senators, godly chaplains, and corrupt prison guards. Harrington teases out the hidden meanings and drama of Schmidt’s journal, uncovering a touching tale of inherited shame and attempted redemption for the social pariah and his children.
The Faithful Executioner offers not just the compelling firsthand perspective of a professional torturer and killer, but testimony of one man’s lifelong struggle to reconcile his bloody craft with his deep religious faith. The biography of an ordinary man struggling for his soul, this groundbreaking book also offers an unparalleled panoramic view of Europe on the cusp of modernity, a society riven by violent conflict at all levels and encumbered by paranoia, superstition, and abuses of power. Thanks to an extraordinary historical source and its gifted interpreter, we recognize far more of ourselves than we might have expected in this intimate portrait of a professional killer from a faraway world.
How’s the Narration?
Gillies was fine. I did wonder a bit about why a British narrator was used, especially when Harrington brings up his own U.S. citizenship at least once. It’s not a big deal.
He also didn’t pronounce the Lutheran theologian Philip Melanchthon’s name in a way I’ve never heard before—and that threw me out of things for a moment.
Other than that, I had no substantive complaints. I don’t know that he wowed me, but he didn’t detract from the material.
So, what did I think about The Faithful Executioner?
One thing that should be remembered that the description doesn’t mention is that Executioners in that day were also healers—as a result of their training and experience in their primary profession, they understood human anatomy to a degree that most people didn’t, so they augmented their income by helping heal others.
It’s interesting little tid-bits like that that’ll keep you reading. But not for trivia, for the history.
Okay, this didn’t resonate with me the way it did with my friends who read this. I didn’t get as invested in Frantz’s story as Lawrence did.
That said, I was fascinated by this. The history of the era. The cultural/political shifts going on—and how that impacted his life/profession were my focus. I could’ve read a lot more about the “criminal justice system” (as much as there was one) described. Well, I like to think I could’ve—but I really needed it tied to Frantz’s story for me to actually stick with it.
And honestly, that’s basically it—I was only mildly interested in Frantz. It was the changing context around him that got me. I do find that strange—I really would’ve thought I cared about the guy and his poor family (don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I didn’t care—but not much—also, I found what the author said about the life of two of his children at the end strangely heartening). But the history—culture, penology, politics, health care, criminology? That material was just great.
The story of one man is gripping (and really, the stuff of novels), as is the look at humans at the time—if you’re looking for either (possibly both), you’re going to relish this book and are going to be so glad that Harrington stumbled onto these journals to bring them to us.
This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase from it, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, the opinions expressed are my own.
I’m very pleased today to welcome The BBNYA Semi-Finalist Spotlight Tour for Kel Byron’s A Lonely Broadcast: Book One! This book has made it to the semi-finals, so you know there’s something good going on–but before getting to this Spotlight, let’s start with a word about BBNYA. A Lonely Broadcast is the last in this series of Semi-Finalists. I hope you’ve been taking notes (or you can just click that link there)–there’s been a lotta good-looking in this series the past few weeks.
BBNYA:
BBNYA is a yearly competition where book bloggers from all over the world read and score books written by indie authors, ending with 15 (17 in 2025) finalists and one overall winner.
If you want some more information about BBNYA, check out the BBNYA Website https://www.bbnya.com/ or take a peek over on Twitter @BBNYA_Official.
Book Details:
Title: A Lonely Broadcast: Book One by Kel Byron
Genre: Horror, Thriller
Age Category: Adult
Format: Paperback/Ebook/Audiobook
Length: 318 Pages
Publication Date: June 2, 2023
About the Book:
If you find yourself driving down a winding mountain road near an endless stretch of pines, try tuning in to 104.6 the radio station that shouldn’t exist.
The village of Pinehaven has a secret of monstrous proportions. Evelyn McKinnon, a radio host falling on hard times, finds herself utterly unprepared when she learns that the radio station isn’t just for entertainment. It’s a watchtower.
She’s stalked by a bird with human eyes. Her new co-host won’t stop singing show tunes. And when the fog rolls in, the beasts of Pinehaven Forest begin their brutal hunt. Evelyn and her friends are suddenly face-to-face with something much scarier than ravenous flesh-giants and vengeful responsibility.
‘A Lonely Broadcast’ is a darkly comedic tale that mixes elements of cosmic horror, gruesome gore, and a touching story about friendship, grief, and finding hope when all seems lost. It’s also the story of an unhinged woman’s personal war with a goddamn bird.
Book Links:
Amazon Canada ~ Amazon US ~ Amazon UK ~ Goodreads ~ The Story Graph
About the Authors:
Kel is a horror author whose work focuses on rural terror, character-driven stories, and weaving gruesome imagery with touching narratives about human bonds. Her work was inspired by the lingering spookiness of growing up in an isolated rural area and the superstitions and folktales that surrounded her childhood in the wetlands of Michigan.
She began her writing career in college where she would disgust her classmates on purpose, writing short stories about body horror, monsters, and the fear of the unknowable. When she joined Reddit’s NoSleep forum under the username “Wendingus”, her gloomy yet comedic stories about the gruesome folk horrors surrounding a fictional Appalachian village quickly formed a humble yet loyal fanbase.
Kel’s online work has been narrated on YouTube by voice actors Autumn Ivy, MrCreepypasta, and others. After disappearing from the internet for several years to get treatment for multiple tumors, she returned in 2023 to completely re-write and re-imagine her previous work as a formal novel, beginning a trilogy that will continue in 2024. Kel’s work often focuses on themes such as queer identity, grief, mental health, trauma recovery, and platonic love. Although horror is her main genre of choice, she enjoys weaving in comedic moments of feral, chaotic dark humor.
Today, she lives in Saginaw, Michigan where she works as a graphic designer and neonatal kitten rescuer. She likes to lie face-down on the kitchen floor, perch like a gargoyle, and eat leaves that she finds on the ground.
My thanks to The Book Bloggers’ Novel of the Year Award for the invitation to participate in this tour and the materials they provided.
I’m very pleased today to welcome The BBNYA Semi-Finalist Spotlight Tour for D Andrews’s Afterburn! This book has made it to the semi-finals, so you know there’s something good going on–but before getting to this Spotlight, let’s start with a word about BBNYA.
BBNYA:
BBNYA is a yearly competition where book bloggers from all over the world read and score books written by indie authors, ending with 15 (17 in 2025) finalists and one overall winner.
If you want some more information about BBNYA, check out the BBNYA Website https://www.bbnya.com/ or take a peek over on Twitter @BBNYA_Official.
Book Details:
Title: Afterburn by D Andrews
Genre: Science Fiction, Thriller
Age Category: Adult
Format: Paperback/Ebook
Length: 440 Pages
Publication Date: March 1, 2024
About the Book:
Kara is an outcast. A freak. A non-telepath. The only person to ever show her any kindness − Caethiid, is dead. Ever since the state informed her of Caethiid’s death, Kara’s life has been bleak, consisting of a tedious job, a small book collection and the painful memories of a love that never was. But Kara also harbours a dark secret. Within her is a terrible power, one that’s manifested in times of great danger, with devastating consequences.
When Caethiid miraculously reappears, Kara’s joy is short-lived. From across the galaxy, Caethiid has been listening to Kara’s thoughts. He knows her secret and he wants to use her power to overthrow the state. Kara finds herself trapped in his twisted game of psychological manipulation. As Caethiid’s ruthless nature is revealed, Kara realises the man she once knew may no longer exist. With Caethiid’s grip tightening, Kara begins to wonder whether she can trust her own mind, or whether everything she thought she knew was part of his plan all along.
Book Links:
Amazon Canada ~ Amazon US ~ Amazon UK ~ Goodreads ~ The Story Graph
About the Authors:
D. Andrews is an Irish author living in London. When she isn’t working at her day job, or writing, she’s usually dishing out dog treats or trying to coax a cat into giving some head boops.
My thanks to The Book Bloggers’ Novel of the Year Award for the invitation to participate in this tour and the materials they provided.
Tiny Hands Hymns, Volume II
Tiny Hands Psalms
and
Tiny Hands Apostle’s Creed
edited by Hannah Duguid Estes, illustrated by Jessica Hiatt
DETAILS: Publisher: P & R Publishing Publication Date: October 29, 2025 Format: Board Book Length: 16 pg. (each) Read Date: November 29, 2025
What are the Tiny Hands About?
This is going to be remarkably like the post I did about the first 3 Tiny Hands books, because these new three are remarkably like them–consistency is good. These are little board books that serve as beginning devotional materials—training wheels for young worshipers, if you will.
Tiny Hands Hymns, Volume II
These are the first stanzas/verses of some of the best hymns around: “Abide with Me,” “Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus,” “Fairest Lord Jesus,” “How Firm a Foundation,” “O Worship the King,” “Rock of Ages,” “Take My Life, and Let It Be,” and “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross.”
On the opposite pages are fitting illustrations, with some accent illustrations on the pages with text.
Tiny Hands Psalmss
These are a selection of psalms—translated by Iain Duguid (Professor of Old Testament at Westminster Theological Seminary)–either the complete psalm or a notable portion.
They include Psalms: 1, 18, 23,334, 51, 100, 121, and 139. The translations are clearly “kidified.” But I think they’re faithful.
Again, opposite each is an appropriate illustration, with some accent illustrations on the pages with text.
Tiny Hands Apostle’s Creed
This is a fairly standard translation of The Apostle’s Creed, split up segment by segment. Yet again, opposite each is an appropriate illustration, with some accent illustrations on the pages with text.
This is probably my favorite of the new bunch–if only because this’ll be one of the easiest for my grandcritters to put into use.
Let’s Talk about the Art for a Minute
Outside the previous Tiny Hands books, I’ve apparently appreciated Hiatt’s work as a cover designer on a few books (The Wonderful Works of God by Herman Bavinck, Things Unseen by J. Gresham Machen, and Struck Down but Not Destroyed by Pierce Taylor Hibbs), but illustrating board books calls for a slightly different skill set. Still, the illustrations remind me of those covers.
I think these are great. Bright and cheerful, without being cartoonish or silly (I have nothing against those kinds of illustrations, but they’re not fitting for the subjects).
How are they to Read Aloud?
They’re fine—although I can’t imagine that anyone, even those who can’t carry a tune, not singing the hymns instead of reading them. A lot of adults won’t need to actually read the Creed, we have it memorized (although, it’s good to pay attention so the pictures match up.
The translations (I’d be tempted to call them paraphrases, but the books say translations—and I don’t know enough to contradict that) are foreign-feeling for people who are familiar with/have memorized the relevant portions from the AV, ESV, NASB, etc. Once you get past that feeling, there’s nothing about the text that’s difficult or odd to read—and they seem easy enough for young children to comprehend (to some degree).
What did the Grandcritter think of Them?
I haven’t been able to read them to him–he sees this art/format and he assumes it’s the first volume of Hymns and demands to sing some of them–he won’t even give us a chance to go over the new ones, much less the other books. I’m sure I’ll get him to let us eventually. But for now, I can’t answer this.
So, what did I think about the Tiny Hands books?
I think they’re a great idea—and overall, I am pleased with the execution. I do recommend them without hesitation.
I have some questions about some of the technical bits of translation, verse choices, and whatnot—not so much that I have a problem with the books, I’d just like someone good with the original languages to sit down with me and walk through these.
But for a young child? I think they’re well done and would be great resources for regular use.
This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase from it, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, the opinions expressed are my own.
Yeah, this is late. Was busy grandparenting, so I don’t feel too bad. Priorities for the day: Grandcritter #1. Several steps down: You, dear reader. One step lower: Reading something. (well…maybe a half-step, maybe a quarter-step…possibly the same step…somewhere in the general vicinity anyway). A few steps lower: everything else (Hi, wife and kids!)
Odds ‘n ends about books and reading that caught my eye this week. You’ve probably seen some/most/all of them, but just in case:
Sophie Kinsella, ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’ Author, Dies at 55
PW’s 2025 Person of the Year: Nihar Malaviya—for his efforts countering book-banning, censorship, etc., PW named Penguin Random House CEO, Nihar Malaviya, their Person of the Year.
New Kindle Feature Uses AI to Answer Questions About Books—And Authors Can’t Opt Out—this is ridiculous (and more than a little maddening)
The Empty Lab, in Science and in Fiction
To New Beginnings: Growing Past Percy Jackson: On aging past our childhood heroes, and leaving room for the next generation of fans—(this can apply to other fandoms, too, not just Percy)
FFA’s Most Anticipated Titles of 2026 (so far)—oh, 2026 is going to be a busy year for my TBR.
746 Books is 12 today!—heckuva landmark.
Over on Bluesky, Adam Holcombe posted his 2025 Wrapped: Author Edition—a fun way to look at his year. By the way, if you haven’t checked out his Bounty, Inc., you really should.
And now, it’s time for some more Best Of ’25s:
The Best Debut Crime Novels of 2025—according to Crime Reads
Reviewers’ Choice: The Best Books of 2025—Reactor’s Reviewers have a veritable cornucopia of books to tempt you with
20 Sci-Fi, Fantasy, and Horror Authors Pick Their Favorite Sci-Fi, Fantasy, and Horror Books of 2025—io9 got a bunch of authors to do the same
The Hard Word is going for something a bit more ambitious, but I’ll lump them in with this anyway: Top Twenty-Five Crime Novels of the Last Twenty-Five Years (20-25)
A.J.’s Completely Random Book Awards: 2025—I love these categories (and agree with several of the choices)
Book’d Out brings us Five Books Best Nonfiction Books of 2025
Best Books of 2025 TFF To-Read Festivus Guide—from The Forgotten Fiction
Jo Linsdell compiled Book Bloggers’ Picks: One Must-Read Book We Loved This Year
And with a few shopping days left before Giftmas/Santaween/whatever you call December 25th (or your gift-giving holiday of your choice), here’s a couple of more gift guides
The 2025 CrimeReads Holiday Gift Guide
Gifts for Readers: 50+ Ideas Book Lovers Actually Want —another great compilation from Jo Linsdell
A Book-ish Related Podcast episode (or two) you might want to give a listen to:
The Four Beardsmen’s Big Fat Bookish Quiz of the year!—this looks like a blast.
To help talk about backlist titles (and just for fun), What Was I Talking About 10 Years Ago This Week?
Dry Bones by Craig Johnson
The Case of the Missing Servant by Tarquin Hall—I’m kicking myself for not continuing with this series (didn’t realize it’d been this long since I’d dabbled)
The Naturals by Jennifer Lynn Barnes—another series that I should’ve stuck with…
Stepdog by Nicole Galland
And I mentioned the release of The Relic Master by Christopher Buckley
This Week’s New Releases that I’m Excited About and/or You’ll Probably See Here Soon (and one from last week that I forgot about):
Lit by Tim Sandlin—a twisted-looking cozy mystery
The Wizard’s Cat by Nathan Lowell—I had a lot of fun with the first in the series, looking forward to dive in.
I’m very pleased today to welcome The BBNYA Semi-Finalist Spotlight Tour for A P Pullan’s Another Kind of Thing! This book has made it to the semi-finals, so you know there’s something good going on–but before getting to this Spotlight, let’s start with a word about BBNYA.
BBNYA:
BBNYA is a yearly competition where book bloggers from all over the world read and score books written by indie authors, ending with 15 (17 in 2025) finalists and one overall winner.
If you want some more information about BBNYA, check out the BBNYA Website https://www.bbnya.com/ or take a peek over on Twitter @BBNYA_Official.
Book Details:
Title: Another Kind of Thing by A P Pullan
Genre: Contemporary Fiction, Mystery
Age Category: Middle Grade
Format: Paperback/Ebook
Length: 216 Pages
Publication Date: November 28, 2024
About the Book:
Eleven-year-old, Aidan North, is new to the little village of Kirklinn in Scotland.
Being new is not easy as Aidan does not seem to fit in.
Why do people call him a “weirdo?” Why do people not understand his love of fossils? And why more name-calling because he finds maths so easy?
Izzy seems the only one who at least is willing to try and understand him.
Then there is the word, “autistic,” that the school want to give him. Does that mean he really is weird and so different from everyone else?
Yet the discovery of someone Aidan claims to live in a cave only seems to alienate him further.
Will his discovery lead to the truth of a secret held for over 20 years?
This is a story about a young boy trying to find his way in this complicated world.
So will uncovering the secret, help him on his journey to be accepted by others and, as importantly, himself?
Book Links:
Amazon Canada ~ Amazon US ~ Amazon UK ~ Goodreads ~ The Story Graph
About the Author:
Hi I am A P Pullan and I have been writing for quite some time now. I have taught primary aged pupils for over 25 years. Aidan is my main character in Another Kind of thing, my latest book. He is based on some of the children I have worked with over the years. Nothing motivates me more than doing creative writing or talking about books with children of all ages. I love visiting schools and if you visit my website you will see info and pictures about my visits @ https://theweepencil.wordpress.com/.
Am I writer? Well, I think I am more someone who just enjoys writing.
My thanks to The Book Bloggers’ Novel of the Year Award for the invitation to participate in this tour and the materials they provided.
That Christmas and Other Stories
by Richard Curtis, Rebecca Cobb (Illustrator)
DETAILS:
Publisher: Puffin Books
Publication Date: August 5, 2025
Format: Hardcover
Length: 128 pg.
Read Date: November 28, 2025
What’s That Christmas and Other Stories About?
Richard Curtis wrote a children’s book, and had such a good time with it (and was inspired by Cobb’s illustrations) that he wrote a couple more. This book brings them all together in one—not unlike the movie Curtis wrote that was released last year called That Christmas. The books differ in important ways from the movie—but I’m not going to talk about that too much. It’s hard because I came to this collection because of it.
The important differences don’t eliminate the core of each story—whichever way you come to them first.
Curtis does write a little introduction for this book which contains a little insight into why he focuses on the holiday:
Quite why I’m so passionate about Christmas is a bit of a mystery to me; I’d already written the film Love Actually, with all its stories set at Christmas. I think the reason is because I’ve always loved Christmas in the simplest of ways — presents, Santa, family — but also it’s a kind of dramatic deadline. Have you been naughty or nice all year? Does the person you’re in love with love you? Are you a happy family or a family falling apart? Christmas is a sort of emotional magnifying glass: it can make sad and difficult times harder, but also make joyful and happy times even happier.
The Empty Stocking
This story focuses on two twin sisters, Charlie and Sam. Charlie is high on Santa’s naughty list, and Sam is very much not. Santa may know who does bad and good, but he apparently doesn’t know anything about context or motivation.
When Santa dis-proportionally distributes gifts to the twins—well, even he learns a little bit.
You just get a warm glow from most of this one.
Snow Day
On a Snow Day, one pupil and one teacher show up for school when no one else does. So they’re stuck together for the day. The student’s a frequent-flyer in detention, the teacher is the strictest in school—neither are looking forward to the day.
It starts out rough, and then ends up with the two finding a bond—one that benefits them both.
It’s silly, fun, and has a little bit of heart. It’s probably the most different from the film version—and I could argue for the superiority of both.
That Christmas
On a small island, the neighbors spend Christmases together in pretty much the same way every year. One year, the adults have to leave together on Christmas Eve, and leave the younger kids in the care of the older ones. Something goes wrong, and the parents can’t return. So the children celebrate Christmas in a very similar way to what they usually do—but with certain improvements (at least in their estimation).
There’s a very nice Linus-at-the-end-of-A-Charlie-Brown-Christmas-moment to this book—without actually quoting anything like Linus did.
Let’s Talk about the Art for a Minute
At the beginning, I wasn’t that impressed—I could see some children maybe enjoying it—but I couldn’t say the same. But before the end of the first book, I was on-board. By the end of the collection, I absolutely enjoyed it.
Along the lines of appearance—whoever was in charge of typography and layout did their job very well. Changes in type size and weight, as well as the placement of words on the pag,e were visually pleasing and did a lot to help out with the storytelling and tone.
How is it to Read Aloud?
There’s nothing exceptionally fun about the prose itself, like you often get, but the book is nothing but fun—and the typography I just talked about really helps the reader do that. Adults are going to have a blast with this.
So, what did I think about That Christmas and Other Stories?
It is charming. It’s sweet. There are laughs and “awww”s throughout. I don’t know what else to say—this is a winner, something great to pull out for the post-Thanksgiving through December 26 era annually.
I feel like I should say something more, but I just don’t have it in me. I heartily recommend it.
This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase from it, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, the opinions expressed are my own.
I’m very pleased today to welcome The BBNYA Semi-Finalist Spotlight Tour for Ailish Sinclair’s Ariel: Dancing on TV! This book has made it to the semi-finals, so you know there’s something good going on–but before getting to this Spotlight, let’s start with a word about BBNYA.
BBNYA:
BBNYA is a yearly competition where book bloggers from all over the world read and score books written by indie authors, ending with 15 (17 in 2025) finalists and one overall winner.
If you want some more information about BBNYA, check out the BBNYA Website https://www.bbnya.com/ or take a peek over on Twitter @BBNYA_Official.
Book Details:
Title: Ariel: Dancing on TV by Ailish Sinclair
Genre: Contemporary Fiction, Romance
Age Category: Young Adult
Format: Paperback/Ebook
Length: 266 Pages
Publication Date: January 1, 2025
About the Book:
The night before Ariel, a sixteen-year-old girl with a deformed hand, starts at the most prestigious dance school in Scotland, her mother tries to kill her.
Torn from a life where she never fitted in, Ariel quickly becomes the focus of a reality TV show. In the castle school, she forms deep friendships and meets Alexander, the best looking boy she’s ever seen. Together, they unravel the mysteries of the castle’s shadows and confront the demons of Ariel’s past.
Can she rise above a lifetime of pain and embrace the possibilities of fame and love that beckon to her?
‘Ariel: Dancing on TV’ is a mesmerising tale of resilience and the pursuit of a brighter future against all odds.
Book Links:
Amazon Canada ~ Amazon US ~ Amazon UK ~ Goodreads ~ The Story Graph
About the Authors:
JAilish Sinclair trained as a dancer and taught dance for many years, before working in schools to help children with special needs. A short stint as a housekeeper in a castle fired her already keen interest in untold stories of the past and she sat down to research and write.
She now lives beside a loch with her husband and two children where she writes and dances (yes still, chronic medical conditions allowing, pah!) and eats rather too much chocolate.
Website ~ Twitter ~ Instagram ~ TikTok ~ Facebook ~ Bluesky
My thanks to The Book Bloggers’ Novel of the Year Award for the invitation to participate in this tour and the materials they provided.
How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying
DETAILS: Series: Dark Lord Davi, #1 Publisher: Orbit Publication Date: May 21, 2024 Format: Paperback Length: 387 pg. Read Date: December 3-6, 2025
I grin. “Fake it till you make it.”
I doubt whoever came up with that particular saying imagined it being applied by an aspiring Dark Lord, but it works. Half the job of being boss, after all, is acting like a boss, performing boss-ness, whether you’re gunning for the corner office or the big iron hat with spikes.
Unfortunately for me, a lot of that performance requires props I haven’t got, to wit: armies and weapons and piles of thaumite. But we’re going to do the best we can with what we ve got.
What’s How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying About?
This is going to be quick, because if you’re not intrigued by the premise, this isn’t going to be a book for you. Also, like The Martian, your appreciation for this book lives and dies with your appreciation of the protagonist and her narration. If you don’t like Davi almost instantly—or if you take an almost-instant dislike for her—save yourself the torture and find another book.
Davi woke up in a small pool/tub in a fantasy world after closing her eyes in ours. She remembers very little about her old life at the point we meet her, but that’s okay—what she does remember is her new life. A wizard approached her in the pool and told her it was the fulfillment of a prophecy—she goes with him to help the Kingdom against its enemies. Their efforts fail, and she dies. (not a spoiler, really)
She wakes up in the pool/tub and repeats the process—hundreds of times, dying in different ways and by the hands of various people and/or Dark Lords (higher than her official count, I’m not sure which lives go into her count and which don’t). Eventually—after a particularly prolonged death, Davi decides to stop trying to help the Kingdom and tries to become the Dark Lord instead. This is that story.
Also, now you understand the title.
A Pretty Big Caveat
Davi feels like she was trained in the use of “blue language” by Zoey Ashe and Teagan Frost*, and truly the student has surpassed the masters. And I really don’t know how to describe her sexual appetites. Thankfully, it’s all behind closed doors (or tent flaps)—but she doesn’t mind talking about it in the narration.
Go into it knowing that, and you’ll be okay. If that’s a red flag for you, (and I honestly feel like it maybe should be one for me), pay attention to it. Maybe instead of a flag, think of it as a red metal octagon.
* From Jason Pargin’s Zoey Ashe series and Jackson Ford’s Frost Files, respectively.
A Couple of Lines I Feel Compelled to Share
It’s the sort of plan where, were I to tell someone else about it, I’d say, “But you re not going to like it.” Since there’s no one here, I have to both propose the plan and be skeptical about it. You know you’re in a fix when you have to be your own straight man.
The problem with mountains—follow close here, this is complicated—is that they’re very tall.
Tall means hard to get over. Tall also means cold, and cold means snow and ice and all that awfulnes.
The beast is still coming, swinging easily across the cliff, ignoring the rain of fire arrows. It has apparently decided I am its one true prey, and that only rending me to pieces will make it feel complete. Which, honestly, kind of flattering in other circumstances, but not what I need right now.
The thing about people, in the main, is they don’t like getting stabbed. When presented with a stabby situation, they tend to say, “No, you know what, that’s all right. I’ll seek my entertainment elsewhere.” In a battle, this is balanced against the need to look tough in front of your buddies; people will tolerate a certain amount of stab risk to increase their chances of looking brave and possibly scoring with their gender of choice.
But, and this is important, there’s risking getting stabbed, and there’s definitely getting stabbed. Which is to say, when a disorderly mob of screaming wilders comes down a hill at you, it looks like they’re going to run headlong into your spears, but I promise you they won’t. People don’t run headlong into spears, it falls in the “definitely getting stabbed” category.
So, what did I think about How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying?
This is what being Dark Lord is all about. Betrayal, assassination, general evilness. I may try to keep the indiscriminate slaughter to a minimum, but there is going to be a certain amount of discriminate slaughter going on, it’s just part of the show.
First, there is so much more heart to this book than you might think. Really, it’s up there with a Hallmark movie. Scrape away the jaded nature of living hundreds of lives and dying in all but one of those (sometimes horribly), and Davi has a large heart and cares a lot for her “minions.”
Secondly, the action is really well-delivered. The battle scenes are well-done (but not overly detailed so as to slow down the action), the individual fight scenes are as good as you’re going to find out there. And the plot makes complete sense for what it is. The magic system isn’t one I’ve seen before—and it works well in this world.
This has got to be in the Top 5 funniest books I’ve read this year. Davi is full of sass, sarcasm, and obscure pop culture references (and she doesn’t mind making them to people who cannot understand them—she reminds me of Francis Xavier Flynn that way). Her observations and narration made me want to stretch out the reading so I could keep enjoying it (while I had no patience to find out what happens at the end).
Also, I’ve made my position concerning comedic footnotes very clear in the past—huge fan—and Wexler is great at them.
This was just a delight from start to finish. There were plenty of surprises—both in plot twists and character reveals. People into comedic fantasy should give it a try.
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