Category: Audiobook Page 11 of 24

Lizard Flambe: An EXCERPT from Creature Feature by Steven Paul Leiva

Creature Feature Tour Banner
Earlier this morning, I talked about the book, and now I get to give you a little taste—I hope it hooks you the way it did me.


from Creature Feature by Steven Paul Leiva

Those who survived the calamity-that-almost-was entered into a conspiracy of silence. No—let me rewrite that, ‘conspiracy’ is too jaundiced a word. They entered into a pact of silence for fear of causing mass hysteria, and worldwide panic, and general consternation, and rampant indigestion.

But now is the time to finally reveal the truth so long hidden from you. And now is the time to speak of the hero and heroine (if I may not be too politically incorrect in using the feminine) who in the summer of ‘62 not only saved our bacon—but the whole damn pork enchilada. And only I can do that because only I know the whole story.

And as it is a story of black and white, put on your black and white specs and take a good look as we……enter deep into a dark swamp thick with bald cypress trees standing on their cypress knees as murky and mucky water flows around and all the cormorants and whooping cranes and anhingas have run, flown, or darted away; all the ducks have ducked underwater; and even the bald eagles and various hawks have lit out for safer territory as monumental hand-to-hand combat between a good-looking, well-muscled, male human hero in khaki clothes and a nugly, giant, two-legged lizardman of some exceptional martial skill, disturbs the usual peace of the swamp. A high-pitched scream is heard as a gorgeous blonde with perfect makeup and a blouse missing some buttons, fears for the life of the male human she may or may not have had carnal relations with and, not incidentally, her own life as well while clinging to the knee of a bald cypress tree.

Finally, the male human hero gets the upper hand and manages to push the lizardman into a shallow part of the swamp with strange gasses hovering close to the water’s surface. From his belt, the hero grabs a flare gun and does not hesitate to send a flare straight into the water, right between the lizardman’s legs. Hellfire explodes all around the lizardman. It is a fire that one knows is red and yellow with white-hot heat, but here it is only illuminated shades of gray. The lizard‐man, confused by the searing heat and pain lets out an unearthly howl as he slowly cooks to death. The good-looking, well-muscled, male human hero in khaki grabs the gorgeous blonde with perfect makeup and a blouse missing some buttons, and holds her tight as three-dimensionally looking letters in two dimensions fly up from nowhere and smack against the screen spelling out ATTACK OF THE LIZARDMAN and THE END and MADE IN HOLLYWOOD U.S.A.

The broadcast of this early 1950s horror flick being over, the small studio at Chicago’s WAGO-TV station bustled and burst with color (colorful set, colorful language from frustrated technicians) as they switched to live to finish this episode of Vivacia’s House of Horrors. The beautiful Vivacia herself—pale of face framed by long raven’s wing (what else?) black hair and wearing a slinky and slick ebony satin dress with a plunging neckline (or décolletage if we want to bring a little lift to the thought)—lounged sensually on her huge, round bed with blood-red silk sheets (the producer had gotten the idea from Chicago native Hugh Hefner).

She looked directly into camera number one and held up what looked exactly like a barbecued lizard on a stick and said in her deep, silky voice, “Oooooooo—lizard flambe!” With a ravenous, anticipatory smile, Vivacia parted her lips, brought the lizard flambe to her mouth, and took a generous bite full of sexual subtext. She chewed, savored, swallowed, then said, “I love it!”

A snort and a whimper came from her side as a little hunchback man with a twisted face bounced on the bed next to her. “Would you like a little bite, Grossie?”

 


Read the rest in Creature Feature by Steven Paul Leiva–or listen to the audiobook Narrated by Seamus Dever and Juliana Dever–to see what happens from here.

Thanks to Let’s Talk Promotions and Psst…Promotions for this excerpt!

BOOK SPOTLIGHT: Creature Feature (Audiobook) by Steven Paul Leiva, Seamus Dever, and Juliana Dever

Today I welcome the Book Tour for the audiobook for Creature Feature by Steven Paul Leiva and narrated by Seamus Dever and Juliana Dever. Following this spotlight post, I have an excerpt (from the text version) here in a bit, and then I’ll be giving my take on the audiobook. But let’s start by learning a little about this here book, okay? Oh, and be sure to check out the Giveaway of the audiobook below!
Creature Feature Tour Banner

Book Details:

Book Title: Because You’re Mine by Luna Miller
Narrators:
Publisher: Magpie Press (print edition)
Release date: September 21, 2020 (print edition), April 13, 2021 (audiobook)
Format: Paperback/Ebook/Audiobook
Length: 158 pages; 4 hours and 23 minutes
Creature Feature

Book Blurb:

THERE IS SOMETHING STRANGE HAPPENING IN PLACIDVILLE!

It is 1962. Kathy Anderson, a serious actress who took her training at the Actors Studio in New York, is stuck playing Vivacia, the Vampire Woman on Vivacia’s House of Horrors for a local Chicago TV station.

Finally fed up showing old monster movies to creature feature fans, she quits and heads to New York and the fame and footlights of Broadway.

She stops off to visit her parents and old friends in Placidville, the all-Ameican, middle-class, blissfully normal Midwest small town she grew up in.

But she finds things are strange in Placidville.

Kathy’s parents, her best friend from high school, the local druggist, even the Oberhausen twins are all acting curiously creepy, odiously odd, and wholly weird. Especially the town’s super geeky nerd, Gerald, who warns of dark days ahead.

Has Kathy entered a zone in the twilight? Did she reach the limits that are outer? Has she fallen through a mirror that is black? Or is it just—just—politics as usual!

About Steven Paul Leiva:

Steven Paul Leiva
A Scribe award-winner, receiving the praise of Ray Bradbury and the Oscar-winning film producer, Richard Zanuck, Steven Paul Leiva is no stranger to the business of telling a good story. Author of several novels, and with a writing-style that lays hard on the satire, this Hollywood-escapee doesn’t pull punches when it comes to politics.
Need to know more? Follow him on Amazon or Goodreads, or check out his blog here: http://emotionalrationalist.blogspot.com/p/about-steven-paul-leiva.html

About Seamus Dever:

Seamus Dever
Seamus Dever is best known to television audiences as Detective Kevin Ryan on ABC’s Castle. He played Sherlock Holmes in the Audie Award-winning “Hound of the Baskervilles” with LA Theatre Works and has 10 other radio plays with them and the BBC. He is the voice of the villain John Seed in the hit video game “Far Cry 5” and originated the DC Comic’s bad guy Trigon on “Titans.” Dever has performed in over 80 plays and has 300 hours of television to his name. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Juliana.

About Juliana Dever:

Juliana Dever
Juliana Dever is a professional actor, writer, and world traveler. She’s best known for her role as Jenny Ryan on the globally popular show Castle. Recently you may have seen her brilliant performance in “Stalked by My Husband’s Ex” on Lifetime. Having traveled to over 60 countries, her award-winning travel blog CleverDeverWherever.com (named Best Independent Travel Blog in North America) helps readers find unexpected experiences in unusual places. She curates adventures through former communist countries and Frommer’s listed her tours as a trend that will shape travel.





My thanks to Let’s Talk Promotions and Psst…Promotions for the invitation to participate in this tour and the materials (including a copy of the audiobook) they provided.

The Writer’s Library by Nancy Pearl & Jeff Schwager (Audiobook) Was Just Painful to Listen To: DNFed

The Writer's Library

The Writer’s Library:
The Authors You Love on
the Books that Changed Their Lives

by Nancy Pearl & Jeff Schwager;
Narrated by: Nancy Pearl, Jeff Schwager, Xe Sands,
Dominic Hoffman, Eileen Stevens, Piper Goodeve,
Andrew Eiden, Lameece Issaq, Rick Adamson,
JD Jackson, Ryan Do, Timothy Andrés Pabon,
Emily Woo Zeller, Richard Ford, Luis A. Urrea,
Vendela Vida, Laurie Frankel, and Siri Hustvedt

Unabridged Audiobook, 11 hrs., 21 min.
HarperAudio, 2020

Read: May 11, 2021

What’s The Writer’s Library About?

I’m just going to copy and paste from the Publisher’s site here:

Before Jennifer Egan, Louise Erdrich, Luis Alberto Urrea, and Jonathan Lethem became revered authors, they were readers. In this ebullient book, America’s favorite librarian Nancy Pearl and noted-playwright Jeff Schwager interview a diverse range of America’s most notable and influential writers about the books that shaped them and inspired them to leave their own literary mark.

The Writer’s Library is a revelatory exploration of the studies, libraries, and bookstores of today’s favorite authors—the creative artists whose imagination and sublime talent make America’s literary scene the wonderful, dynamic world it is. A love letter to books and a celebration of wordsmiths, The Writer’s Library is a treasure for anyone who has been moved by the written word.

Did I Like Anything in This Book?

I liked quite a few things, actually. The Foreword by Susan Orlean was just great, I cannot say enough about it. I wrote a note saying “worth whatever time I spend on this book for this foreword.”

The premise of the book is great, the range of authors and topics were intriguing and/or challenging. The interviews I listened to were thoughtful and entertaining.

Then Why Did I Not Finish The Writer’s Library?

I tried, I really tried. But during the introduction, I started to worry, and by the time it got into the first interview, I knew the experience was going to be rough. I listened to the interviews with Jonathan Letham, Laila Lalami, Luis Alberto Urrea and started Jennifer Egan and just couldn’t do it anymore.

So, as I understand it, Pearl and Schwager would interview the authors, write up a transcript and then submit it to the author for some editing. Then it went in the book. So far so good. Then for the audiobook, Pearl, Schwager, and a professional audiobook narrator would read the transcript. And that’s where it falls apart. It sounded stiff and artificial—like people reading a script without ever seeing it before. Generally, the narrators came across okay, but even they came across stilted. Inflection was odd, there were unusual gaps between one person reading their part and the next starting.

Were these audio recordings of the actual interviews? I think I’d love this. Or if I read it in print, and wouldn’t have to worry about the way it was narrated? I’d happily listen and/or read—and I think I will try this in print after I can’t remember just how bad I thought this was.

0 Stars

2021 Library Love Challenge 2021 Audiobook Challenge

Below Zero (Audiobook) by C. J. Box, David Chandler: Joe Pickett’s 9th Adventure is Almost Impossible to Believe

Before you read on—if you haven’t read the third book in the Joe Pickett series, Winterkill, you probably shouldn’t read anything else in this post. Really, it’s impossible for me to not ruin Winterkill and talk about this book.


Below Zero

Below Zero

by C. J. Box, David Chandler (Narrator)
Series: Joe Pickett, #9

Unabridged Audiobook, 10 hrs., 22 min.
Recorded Books, 2009

Read: March 24-25, 2021
Grab a copy from your local indie bookstore!


Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you haven’t read Winterkill…

What’s Below Zero About?

Joe Pickett’s daughter starts getting text messages from a very unlikely source: April, her foster sister. The sister that Joe watched die in a fire during a horrific FBI raid on a group of survivalists. Joe and Marybeth are skeptical at first—Sheridan is a little skeptical, but she wants to believe. Eventually, they provisionally accept that it is April texting them and Joe heads off to rendezvous with her.

The difficulty comes with April’s traveling companions—she’s fuzzy on the details, but the men she’s with are hurting people. Joe’s able to construct a path of where they’ve been (where they’re headed is pretty murky, though) and pieces together some sort of motive. The victims have been significant polluters in their own way—and he’s pretty sure that one of the killers is an environmental activist and the child of a notorious mobster, who might have been learning a lesson from his father.

Joe now has two goals—track down the person claiming to be April and see if she really is who she claims to be—and learn how she survived, and stop the killings.

The Balancing Act

Behind the murders stands a discussion about environmental concerns vs. real-world solutions vs. way of life in West. This is a theme of the last few books in the series (probably all of the books, it just feels more pronounced). Generally, when I’ve encountered this kind of thing it’s not dealt with very well—the novel preaches at readers about the environment, an unrealistic solution is approved/implemented, or the whole concern is shrugged off (either because it’s too late to do any good* or because the characters don’t accept the legitimacy of the concerns. I love the way Box does this and I wish more authors would learn from him.

* Yes, I realize that it might be too late, but we’re not going to focus on that right now.

Poor Old Lu

I don’t want to say that I’ve disliked Lucy, Joe’s younger daughter. But I’ve never been taken with her as I have been with the rest of the family. She’s too much like her grandmother I guess. She’s about clothes and nice things, not about wildlife or her family or whatever it is that makes Sheridan an interesting character.

But her reaction to the possibility of April being alive? What’s more, her reaction to Sheridan being the sole point of contact between Joe and April? It just broke my heart. I actually wanted her to get to tag along with her dad and sister for a change. I hope this is a sign of things to come and that I finally get the chance to get invested in the character.

David Chandler

I’ve got nothing to say here that I haven’t said before. Chandler is Pickett in my mind. When the TV series starts, I’m going to be comparing Michael Dorman to him (and I think Dorman’s not going to fare too well).

So, what did I think about Below Zero?

I hated, hated, hated the way that Box brought April back. This isn’t General Hospital or Days of Our Lives, after all. Also, it ruined some of the gut-punch of an ending of Winterkill. But by the end, Box had won me over and convinced me that it wasn’t the worst idea he’d ever had.

I do wonder how the traveling murderer story would have worked without the April aspect—part of me would have liked a closer focus on that. But I don’t know how much I’d have cared about them without April as a point-of-entry into that story.

I’m curious about where Joe and the family go from here. It’s possible I’ll totally get over my antagonism toward the April story within a book or two, it all depends on what Box does from here.


3.5 Stars

2021 Library Love Challenge 2021 Audiobook Challenge

This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase from it, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, opinions are my own.

Quick Take Catch Ups: Strange Planet; Claire Dewitt and the City of the Dead; Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore; Paper: Paging Through History

This is an odd group of books, I realize—there’s no theme or anything. Most are books that I can’t find the time to write a full post about, and one I don’t want to spend the time on. To do justice to the Claire DeWitt book would take at least two of my longer-sized posts, and I’d want to read the book at least two more times—so, that’s just not happening, I’ll settle for this sketch. The point of these quick takes posts is to catch up on my “To Write About” stack—emphasizing pithiness, not thoroughness. As you’ll see here.


Strange Planet

Strange Planet

by Nathan W. Pyle
Series: Strange Planet, #1
Hardcover, 144 pg.
Morrow Gift, 2019
Grab a copy from your local indie bookstore

(the official blurb)
I’m not sure how to talk about this collection. If you’ve seen the comics floating around online, you either love ’em or hate ’em. If you haven’t seen the comics floating around online, you’re probably wrong, they’re fairly ubiquitous.

Having these in one handy collection is greatthis covers the topics “Young Beings,” “Friendship,” “Adulthood,” and “Recreation” from Pyle’s distinctive perspective. They’re great to dip into and out ofeither in order or just randomly. I could (and have) spend too much time reading/rereading this.
4 Stars

Claire DeWitt and the City of the Dead

Claire DeWitt and the City of the Dead

by Sara Gran
Series: Claire DeWitt Mysteries, #1
Paperback, 273 pg.
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2012
Read: February 15, 2021
Grab a copy from your local indie bookstore

(the official blurb)
I have copious notes on this one, and I just can’t decide how to talk about it. So…I’ll cheat and do this.

It’s like someone decided to do a serious take on Dirk Gently and his approach to detection. And it is pretty seriousalthough it has moments where I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to laugh or not. A former teen detective turned “world’s best detective” comes to post-Katrina New Orleans to hunt for a missing D.A. Following the idiosyncratic methods of her mentors (in both print and in real life), DeWitt deals with the good, the bad, and the hard-to-fathom that make up New Orleans. She also deals with some ghosts from her past as she uncovers the truth about the DA (including many things he’d probably want no one to uncover).

It’s a book about literary private eyes as much as it is a literary private eye story. I do recommend it, you’re not likely to read anything like it. I’m coming back for the sequel soon.

Not that there was a great danger of this, but between this book and Treme there is zero chance I’ll ever live in New Orleans.
3.5 Stars

Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore

Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore

by Matthew J. Sullivan, Madeleine Maby (Narrator)
Unabridged Audiobook, 8 hrs., 59 min.
Simon & Schuster Audio, 2017
Read: February 24-26, 2021
Grab a copy from your local indie bookstore

(the official blurb)
A bookstore clerk finds a frequent customer dead in the shelves after he committed suicide. He has some sort of connection to her as a child, she discovers, and has left his few possessions to her. She’s compelled to learn why he killed himself, why he died with a photo of her as a child in his possession, and along the way has to come to terms with horrific events from about the time the photo was taken.

There are a lot of layers to this novelfantastic concept, heartbreaking conclusion. I never really connected with the protagonist, but I couldn’t stop listening, either.

Mabey did a fine job with the narration, I should add. Looking over some of her other titles suggests that I’ll be running into her again.
3 Stars

Paper: Paging Through History

Paper: Paging Through History

by Mark Kurlansky, Andrew Garman (Narrator)
Unabridged Audiobook, 13 hrs., 42 min.
Recorded Books, 2016
Read: March 4-9, 2021
Grab a copy from your local indie bookstore

(the official blurb)

This vacillated between intensely interesting and stultifyling dull, overly detailed, and seemingly random in focus, provocative and insulting. More than once I wondered about the connection between paper and whatever particular period of history he wanted to sound off onthe connection was usually there and clear (and germane), but he stretched it more than once. Also, Kurlansky seems to have a real chip on his shoulder regarding religions of many stripes. That’s fine, it’s just not all that germane.

I’m not sure audio was the right for this medium, outside of the irony. There was just so much thrown at the listener, I can’t imagine how anyone could retain any detailsI didn’t even try.

None of my problems were with Garman’s narration (although I questioned a few of his pronunciation), it was simply the text.
2 1/2 Stars

2021 Library Love Challenge 2021 Audiobook Challenge

This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase from any of them, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, opinions are my own.

Blood Trail (Audiobook) by C. J. Box, David Chandler: Who Hunts the Hunters?

Blood Trail

Blood Trail

by C. J. Box, David Chandler (Narrator)
Series: Joe Pickett, #8

Unabridged Audiobook, 9 hrs, 5 mins.
Recorded Books, 2008

Read: February 10-12, 2021
Grab a copy from your local indie bookstore!

What’s Blood Trail About?

Since Governor Rulon re-hired Joe Pickett and made him sort of a Game Warden-at-Large, his life has improved—he and Marybeth have their own home, no longer living in State housing, or at his father-in-law’s. Nor is he really as subject to the whims of Randy Pope, his director. But there’s a price to be paid for this: he’s pretty much at Rulon’s beck and call.

This time, thankfully, he’s called to his former territory—a hunter has been found dead. It’s the beginning of Elk Season, so it’s not that surprising. But…this isn’t your typical dead hunter. This man has been shot and field dressed like an elk. Joe’s garnered a reputation for stumbling into a solution for things like this, and Rulon needs that quickly—people are getting antsy about the killings and pressure is mounting to cancel Elk Season (which would have horrible consequences on Wyoming’s economy). Joe’s been named to a task force with the FBI, and the local sheriff. Not only are they out to preserve hunting season, but they also need to head off a mounting anti-hunting protest movement that is taking advantage of this situation.

Randy Pope decides that this is important enough that he comes to supervise Joe personally—and takes an oddly active and proactive role in fieldwork (which no one has ever accused him of being fit for). I don’t know about anyone else who reads this series, but there isn’t a time that Randy Pope has been around when I haven’t wanted Joe to punch him in the nose (or Marybeth, or Sheridan even), and that’s taken to the nth degree for most of this book.

So not only does Joe have to find a killer (not really his job, ubt he seems good at it) for political and social reasons, he has to put up with antagonism from local law enforcement who resent his role, get micromanaged by an officious twerp who is even less suited for this than he is, and he ends up having to deal with two individuals from his past that he’d rather expected never to have to deal with again over the course of the investigation. I’m not going to identify these people, but neither Joe or Marybeth are prepared to have them in their lives again, frankly, I wasn’t ready either.

We Should Talk About Nate

I get into a spoiler in a vague way here. Feel free to skip to the next header.

For various and sundry spoilery reasons, Joe decides that he needs Nate Romanowski’s tracking help. Now, Nate’s been in FBI custody for a few months, ever since the FBI double-crossed Joe at the end of Free Fire. Given the urgent nature of things, Rulon is able to finagle a release into Joe’s custody.

And then Nate ditches Joe for days. Joe, the good friend, covers for him (he’s also covering for himself and his own ability to maintain custody). Sure, he ultimately comes back and pitches in. But it’s pretty clear he didn’t need that much time to do his thing—I get that Nate has his own way of working and that Nate isn’t that terribly concerned with people who aren’t him (what does he care if someone’s killing hunters?)—but he should care about his friend and the deal that got him out of custody, right?

I lost a lot of sympathy for Nate here. And a good deal for Joe, too, later in the book when it comes to Nate.

A Low-Stakes Antagonist

Now that Joe lives in town, in a normal house with a yard and no need to consult a government budget officer for upkeep on his home, it falls to Joe to take care of things. He has a neighbor now (I forget his name, one of the hazards of audiobooks is that I can’t look it up easily). This man is retired and is far too concerned with his own yard and upkeep, and carries that over to Joe’s.

We don’t spend a lot of time with him, but it’s easy to see that he’s a burr in Joe’s side—a constant problem, a constant annoyance. Sure, Joe’s off working for the governor and trying to stop a killer, but surely he could take the time to mow his lawn, like a decent citizen.

This book needed a little lightness, and this crank delivers it.

A Word About the Narration

At this point, I really don’t know what to say about David Chandler, he’s great at this.

However, ,I have one thing to say. For most of the book, I assumed the killer was one of two people. And despite the fact that we get the killer’s POV frequently, it was still pretty unclear which one of the two it was (assuming I was right). Until about halfway through in one scene, Chandler makes 1 choice when he reads one line. And we “hear” the character in a voice Chandler would use for that character, not just the generic Killer’s POV voice he’d been using throughout. And then I knew exactly who it was.

I understand why he made that choice. But, man. It ruined things a little bit for me.

So, what did I think about Blood Trail?

This was, hands down, my favorite entry in the series. The tension, the huge character events, the motive for the crime, and the way it ended…I can’t explain all my reasoning without ruining the novel.

But man…this is the standard I’ll be judging books in this series by. Is it going to be that impactful for new readers? No, but it would work as a jumping-on point if you’re not in the mood to read the seven previous books.

Blood Trail is a great entry in this solid series, with entries like this, it’s easy to see why it’s lasted for twenty-one (so far) books. Check it out.


4 Stars

2021 Library Love Challenge 2021 Audiobook Challenge

This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase from it, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, opinions are my own.

You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey (Audiobook) by Amber Ruffin, Lacey Lamar: You’ll Laugh While You All Lose Hope in Humanity. Fun Times!

You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey

You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey: Crazy Stories about Racism

by Amber Ruffin, Lacey Lamar

Unabridged Audiobook, 5 hrs., 21 min.
Grand Central Publishing, 2021

Read: March 11-12, 2021
Grab a copy from your local indie bookstore!

I’m going to lean on quotations from the book pretty heavily for this one, I feel awkward about trying to summarize this—and am afraid I’d come across as too flippant. Which, yeah, is an odd thing to fear for a book that can be rightly shelved under “Humor”

The Authors/Narrators

Amber Ruffin is the host of The Amber Ruffin Show, a writer for and performer on Late Night with Seth Meyers, and is consistently funny and thoughtful. Even when, especially when?, I disagree with her (which happens a lot). She’s the primary author (even when retelling something that happened to her sister) and narrator of the book.

Lacey Lamar is her older sister, who lives in Nebraska and works in the healthcare and human service field. She’s apparently a pretty big geek, too. While her contributions to the book/audiobook are briefer than Ruffin’s, when she pitches in, it’s well worth it.

What’s You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey About?

Early on, we’re told

My sister Lacey is a lightning rod for hilarious racist stories, She’s the perfect mix of polite, beautiful, tiny, and Black that makes people think: I can say whatever I want to this woman. And I guess you can. Hey, knock yourself out—but that doesn’t mean you won’t end up in a book.

She’s such a lightning rod that

Twice a week, I get a text from my sister that says, “Can you talk?” It’s my favorite because I know I’m about to be transported to a place that exists in real life and fantasy: the place where coworkers will put their whole hand in your hair, talking ’bout “It’s fluffy like a dog.” I realize this sounds terrible, but it’s like watching Dateline. You can’t believe it was the GIRLFRIEND who killed the HUSBAND! It’s the edge of reality. Technically, it happens, but it is barely plausible. Excited, I steal away to the elevator banks at work and listen to Lacey tell me a new horror story. It’s fantastic. As I stand there, mouth agape, listening to some new fresh hell, I am always struck by the fact that these stories will only exist in this phone call. Some will go on to become stories once the topic turns to “racist people at work” one night when Lacey is hanging out with her friends, but she’ll forget most of them because of the sheer volume. The. Sheer. Volume.

That’s what this book is, a distillation of that volume. A compilation of the best/worst of those stories. They are tragic. They are sobering. They are frequently pretty funny. But only in the way they’re told. Lamar and Ruffin share these stories with an air of “you have to laugh or you’ll cry.” The kind of resigned laughter when you realize that your situation isn’t going to get better any time soon, so you might as well find the pleasure in it. A lot of this is hard to listen to/read—but it’s usually worth it. There’s also a decent level of “a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down” running throughout this.

Some of these stories are old, but a lot of them are post-Obama stories. A lot of folks think things like this don’t happen anymore. But in this climate where people are becoming more brave with their racism, I think things may get worse before they get better. Just kidding, I don’t think things are gonna get better. Just kidding about just kidding. I’m Team Hopeful! My point is: Has anyone ever decided to take a look at one person’s buttload of racist stories? What happens when you do? I don’t know, but here you go.

Audiobook vs. Text Version

So my wife read the hardcover and I read the audiobook (but was able to use the hardcover to grab some quotations). The hardcover features pictures and illustrations, and different typefaces for each author (a feature more books should use). Judging by her responses and just flipping through it, that seems like a great way to go through the book.

The audiobook is primarily read by Ruffin, with some assists by Lamar. Ruffin’s a great performer and the text comes alive with her reading. I think some of the comedy comes through stronger in the way they tell the stories—because a lot of these things are dark and my response leaned to horrified until I heard one/both of them chuckle about it. Also, listening to Ruffin describe the pictures you can’t see is likely as fun as seeing them. I’m not saying that the audiobook is better/worse than the text, but I can say you won’t regret it.

So, what did I think about You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey?

Black readers will read these stories and feel that really good, yet terrible feeling of going through something bad and realizing you’re not alone, and not only that, but that someone else has it worse! And, hopefully, the white reader is gonna read this, feel sad, think a little about it, feel like an ally, come to a greater understanding of the DEPTH of this type of shit, and maybe walk away with a different point of view of what it’s like to be a Black American in the twenty-first century. Hence this book.

For me, I think they succeeded. I’m not a fool, I didn’t think we’d fixed racism or anything—but the casual and blatant racism Lamar encounters at work (or outside of work) is astounding. I can’t count how many times I stopped the recording to say something to my wife to marvel at how blatant the people in this book were. She’d ask where I was, nod, and ask “have you got to X yet?” “Um, no?” “Well, it gets worse…” And it did.

At the same time, I laughed a lot. Those two sensations shouldn’t fit so well together, but they do.

This is a comic-tragedy. A tragic-comedy. Either or both. you won’t soon forget this book. Entertaining and educational. Eye-opening. Frustrating. I strongly recommend this.


4 1/2 Stars

2021 Library Love Challenge 2021 Audiobook Challenge

Junkyard Bargain (Audiobook) by Faith Hunter, Khristine Hvam: Shining Takes to the Road for the Next Step

Junkyard Bargain

Junkyard Bargain

by Faith Hunter, Khristine Hvam (Narrator)
Series: Shining Smith, #2

Unabridged Audiobook, 5 hrs., 40 min.
Audible Originals, 2021

Read: March 2-3, 2021

The Law was uncertain. Vengeance wasn’t.

What’s Junkyard Bargain About?

Shining Smith needs to gear up and improve her weapons and armor if they’re going to take on the task they have ahead of them. This means traveling to Charleston, and selling some of the junk from her scrapyard, and making the right deals.

Standing in their way are rival bike gangs, corrupt police, sex slavers, and random other criminals. Whatever else happens—Shining isn’t going to allow those slavers to hang on to their captives (and likely won’t let them hang on to their lives, either). She needs to avoid the police, strike careful deals with the gangs, and survive the rest—all the while she’s noticing changes in her cats and expands the control Shining’s won enhancements have on those closest to her.

It’s really hard to explain without pretty much recapping everything in the first book.

How’s the Narration?

In short, Khristine Hvam is the perfect reader for Hunter’s work. She gets how Hunter’s mind works, she knows how to bring the characters to life and how to infuse them with the right kind of humanity. You read enough of an author’s books and it’s just impossible to think of anyone else doing it. Just not sure what else to say about her work.

So, what did I think about Junkyard Bargain?

After Junkyard Cats took several unexpected turns in the latter half, I didn’t know what to expect from this beyond more of the same. This novella may have ended up where it seemed to be heading from the beginning, but the route it took bore so little difference to what was expected that it’s hard to recognize that. Hunter is filling this post-apocalyptic world with more dangers and strangeness than we’d been exposed to last time, and you know the next installment will increase the danger.

When talking about the last book, I said that it was too brief and not deep enough. This isn’t the case this time—and not just because it was 40 minutes longer. This time it felt like there was a solid match between depth and time—to the point I wondered how she fit it all in the novella-length book.

There were some great action scenes, some solid surprises, and good character development. And…cats with telepathy. I can’t wait to see what #3 has in store.


3 Stars

2021 Audiobook Challenge

He Drank, and Saw the Spider (Audiobook) by Alex Bledsoe, Stefan Rudnicki: LaCrosse’s Break from His Vacation Changes History

Like with the previous Eddie LaCrosse audiobook, The Wake of the Bloody Angel, I can’t think of much more to say than I did in 2014 when I read the book. But, this is the last one in the series, and I can’t just let this pass unremarked. So I shuffled it a bit, cleaned a couple of things up, and added bit here and there. That’s not cheating too much, is it?


He Drank, and Saw the Spider

He Drank, and Saw the Spider

by Alex Bledsoe, Stefan Rudnicki (Narrator)
Series: Eddie LaCrosse, #5

Unabridged Audiobook, 9 hrs., 6 min.
Blackstone Audio, 2014

Read: February 16-19, 2021

Grab a copy from your local indie bookstore!

I felt that little knot in my belly that meant a mystery was taking its irrevocable hold. Usually this was a good thing, because usually I got paid for it. But here and now I was on vacation, and the last thing I wanted to do was spend it unraveling the truth of the strange prince, his rotund protector, and the girl I’d once saved from a bear. But damn it, I knew that’s exactly what I was going to do.

What’s He Drank, and Saw the Spider About?

After a couple of adventures that aren’t quite typical in their nature, Eddie La Crosse gets back to basics with a fairly straightforward case. Well, that’s not exactly true—it’s just that the last was more grand-adventure-y, less LaCrosse-as-sword-jokey, and the one before that took on this epic nature by the end. This is Eddie doing what he does best. But still, there’s magic and monsters, and all the other trappings that keep this from being something that Sue Grafton or Dennis Lehane would’ve written.

Sixteen years ago, Eddie promised a dying man on the run that he’d take care of the baby that the other man was running to protect. He found a seemingly-trustworthy family willing to take the infant in, and went on his merry way, and actually forgot all about the incidents surrounding that. Years later, Eddie and his girlfriend, Liz, are on vacation in that area and suddenly it all comes back to him and he decides to try and track down the (now) young woman and see how she’s doing.

Naturally, things start to go poorly about there. He does find her—pretty easily, too—it is a small community, with an economy largely-based on sheep-herding and farming, so it’s not really a bustling metropolis where no one knows anyone else. But there’s a whole lot of interesting things happening around the young woman—royalty in disguise, a meddling sorceress, an untrustworthy mercenary-type, an over-protective mother, a dose of sibling rivalry, and some sort of articulate and super-strong inhuman creature with a healthy interest in the girl.

Even though he was just supposed to check on her and not interfere with her life—he had no intention of even introducing himself to her. Eddie can’t help himself, and before you know it, he’s neck-deep in intrigue and danger.

Biggest Magic Yet

When you think about Fantasy novels (or maybe I should just say “I”, who knows what you think) you think about magic all over the place. But if it’s really that ubiquitous, that takes away some of the special-ness of magic. In LaCrosse’s world, almost no one believes in magic. Eddie sure wouldn’t if magic, deities, and supernatural creatures hadn’t rubbed their existence in his face on repeated occasions.

That’s certainly the case here—most of the people that Eddie is around in this novel (and by most, I mean an overwhelming majority) refuse to admit that what they are seeing—some of them on multiple occasions—has anything to do with magic. I think this is a great choice—it’s another hurdle for Eddie and Liz to get over, it adds some real tension when you’d be tempted to think we’re done with tension, and it keeps the magic mysterious.

Rudnicki’s Narration

I think this is probably Rudnicki’s best work in the series. he nails every character—particularly the character of Billy Cudgel (the aforementioned untrustworthy mercenary-type). He captures the humor, the drunkenness, the misery, the madness, and everything else. I thought the choices he makes in the narration (he and/or the director) and tone were spot-on. He’s definitely a narrator I’m going to seek out in the future.

So, what did I think about He Drank, and Saw the Spider?

On the whole, this is a fun, brisk novel—a lot of humor, some good action, nice banter, and interaction between the characters (especially Eddie and Liz). Yet, even as the answers to the questions surrounding the girl’s mysterious origins become obvious, and some of the characters get to the point where they seemed irredeemable, Bledsoe (as he can every so well) keeps you completely drawn in and even tugs the heartstrings a bit as the truth is revealed to the characters. Just really, really well done.

There’s a lot of nice little touches along the way. For example, towards the end of the book, Eddie and those he’s traveling with encounter a preteen who joins their little band for a while. She’s pretty new to swearing and tries to get in as much practice as she can while with them. At first, I thought she was an odd (but entertaining) and pointless distraction. It didn’t take too long to see she was a perfect tension-breaker, just what that part of the novel needed to keep from being too tense and so much more serious than what had come before.

Eddie’s narration has never been better—humor-tinged and hard-boiled, a medieval Philip Marlowe or Elvis Cole. I liked all of these characters, and really wanted to spend more time with each of them—I don’t know how Bledsoe could’ve pulled that off without getting the whole thing too slow and ponderous (which would’ve sucked the fun out of 60-70% of these characters). This is really such a well-done and fully realized series.

Either Bledsoe or his publishers decided that was enough, and it doesn’t look like we’re going to get any more adventures from our favorite sword-jockey, but man, I’m glad we got what we did.


4 Stars

2021 Audiobook Challenge

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A Two-Fer: Twenty Palaces and Child of Fire (Audiobooks) by Harry Connolly and Daniel Thomas May

Twenty Palaces

Twenty Palaces

by Harry Connolly, Daniel Thomas May (Narrator)
Series: Twenty Palaces, #0
Unabridged Audiobook, 8 hrs., 14 min.
Tantor Audio, 2020
Read: July 29-30, 2020
4 Stars

Child of Fire

Child of Fire

by Harry Connolly, Daniel Thomas May (Narrator)
Series: Twenty Palaces, #1
Unabridged Audiobook, 10 hrs., and 9 min.
Tantor Audio, 2020
Read: September 8-10, 2020
4 Stars

What is The Twenty Palaces Series?

The Twenty Palace Society is a secretive and ancient group that has devoted itself to the regulation of magic in this world for the benefit of humanity. Those who use magic outside of the Palaces control have a tendency to unleash disaster—and by disaster, I mean things with the potential to destroy the world—and the Society stops them with extreme prejudice (and if collateral damage happens, so be it—we’re talking about the survival of the human race here).

Most of these threats come by way of unleashing Predators—beings from the “Empty Places” between dimensions. Their main drive seems to be coming into this (or any) reality and snacking on whatever life forms they can find. They typically begin by seeming to obey and/or help the humans who summoned them. But eventually, they turn on their summoners and exact a horrible price.

The Society’s methods, structure, and personnel largely lie in darkness, but we know a little bit—there are peers (magic users of impressive strength, but not as strong as others in the Society), investigators (whose purpose is to look for magical/Predatory activity), and wooden men. Wooden Men are cannon fodder. They’re the designated redshirts whose purpose is to draw the attention of the humans or Predators the Society is attacking so their peer can come in and eliminate the threat while they’re focused on the Wooden Man. It’s obviously not a place to be if you’re all that concerned with living a long and quiet life.

Our protagonist, Ray Lilly, is a Wooden Man (or becomes one in TP). In that book, he stumbles upon some unauthorized magic use, casts one spell himself (which would be enough to kill him over, but he proves useful to Annalise so she delays that), and then stumbles upon a group of predators and helps Annalise stop them from turning Seattle into a home base to bring in others of their kind and then to destroy humanity.

In Child of Fire, the two find themselves in a small town, where a man/company (it’s hard to tell at first) seemingly has made a deal with a Predator for some benefit to the town, but at the cost of the children of the town—and it happens in such a way that the memories of parents are affected enough that they don’t remember their children ever existed.

Publication/Listening Order

While I do think a good prequel can be fun, by nature they are wholly unnecessary. If you don’t have everything you need in the books/movies/whatever as they were published, the author/creators failed. Also, you probably don’t get something successful enough to generate a prequel.

Again, they’re fun. It can be entertaining to get an explanation for something in the original work (“Oh, so that’s why there’s a lampstand in the middle of the wood”), occasionally it gives you a new perspective on the series, that kind of thing. I was more than happy to read Twenty Palaces when the series had been mothballed, but I wasn’t clamoring for it.

But last year, when Tantor started putting out the whole series in audiobook form (the first book had been already, but the rest hadn’t been), I went with the order that Tantor published—Twenty Palaces first and then moving on to the rest.

I was surprised at how well it flowed. There’s very little time between Twenty Palaces and Child of Fire and it really felt like CoF was a sequel. There were just so many throwaway details in CoF that were there to make it seem like Ray had a past (not that we learned much about it), that there was a little bit of history with Ray and Annalise (but not much of one). As you read it (assuming you read in publication order), there’s a mysterious, violent past—one that it’s good to know Ray has, but we don’t need to know it.

Connolly did a great job of taking those details and building events in Twenty Palaces around them. I’m not saying this is the best way to listen to the books—but it makes them a lot more approachable. I can see why Tantor went the way they did.

Ray Lily

Yes, Ray Lilly is an ex-con with a violent streak. But he sincerely wants to live a straight life—while he admits to himself that he enjoys the rush of violence. He also likes the fact that his work for the Society matters. He tries to be a good, law-abiding citizen as much as possible. He works hard to prevent injury to those who have nothing to do with the Predators.

He’s incredibly loyal to Annalise—which is not a little twisted because Annalise has told him repeatedly that she will kill him.

He’s essentially what you expect in a male UF protagonist—but he’s as close to powerless as you can be in this world and yet survive. Which definitely marks him out as different. He also has a real talent for getting people (many people, anyway) to trust him and is better at inspiring bystanders to action than most UF protagonists (although most of them don’t need to recruit help, and Ray does). There’s a very human quality to Ray that makes you like him.

Annalise Powliss

Annalise is old (well over one hundred years old), but looks younger than Ray. She has a high voice and looks like she hasn’t had a decent meal in ages. But that’s deceptive—she’s supernaturally strong and magically powerful. While she doesn’t relish the prospect of collateral damage/fatalities—she’s familiar enough with the treat posed by Predators that she’s more than willing to let a town’s worth of citizens die to prevent all of humanity from being consumed. Still, she’s largely willing to indulge Ray’s compassion—up to a point.

Annalise has all the powers of your typical UF protagonist—maybe even more. But none of the wit, sarcasm, or optimism. For her, this is a duty, not one she particularly enjoys, but it’s something that has to be done.

Daniel Thomas May

I admit that I was worried about Daniel Thomas May as the narrator for these audiobooks. All I know him from is the Venators series, and this is about as far from a YA Portal Fantasy as you can get. But my worries proved groundless and he does a bang-up job portraying Ray Lilly and the horrors that this world holds.

More than that, I’m glad I listened to these if only for Annalise’s voice. It’s both exactly what Connolly says it sounds like—and is about 3.4 million miles away from what I’d imagined.

So, What Did I Think about these Audiobooks?

They’re just great—I thoroughly enjoyed being back in this world and I still don’t understand why the books weren’t bigger sellers. I hope they find a new audience in audiobook. I don’t know if I’ve ever talked about the series on this blog without using the phrase “criminally underselling,” (or words to that effect). It comes to mind once again, I just don’t get why readers didn’t get behind this.

They’re dark, they’re grim, they’re on the violent end of the UF spectrum (but I can easily find darker, grimmer, and more violent series)—but there’s a glimmer of hope throughout them all. Not just from Ray’s undaunted trust in humanity, but that’s where most of it comes from. Even with all the death and destruction, they’re entertaining reads and you get immersed enough in the world that you don’t want to come out of it.

You really should get these in your earbuds or in front of your eyes.

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