The indoctrinationtraining has begun…the kid’s got promise.
Category: A-B Page 2 of 20
Authors A-B
(updated and revised this 5/25/24)
I’ve been trying for a few years now to come up with a tribute to Adams. This isn’t quite what I had in mind, but it’s a start. In my mind, this is a work in progress, but I’m posting it anyway. Next year’s version will be better—or at least more complete.
Some time in 7th or 8th grade (I believe), I was at a friend’s house and his brother let us try his copy of the text-based Hitchhiker’s Guide game, and we were no good at it at all. Really, it was embarrassing. However, his brother had a copy of the first novel, and we all figured that the novel held the keys we needed for success with the game (alas, it did not help us one whit). My friends all decided that I’d be the one to read the book and come back in a few days as an expert.
I fell in love with the book almost instantly and I quickly forgot about the game. Adams’ irreverent style rocked my world—could people actually get away with saying some of these things? His skewed take on the world, his style, his humor…and a depressed robot, too! It was truly love at first read. As I recall, I started re-reading it as soon as I finished it—the only time in my life I’ve done that sort of thing.
It was one of those experiences that, looking back, I can say shaped my reading and thinking for the rest of my life (make of that what you will). Were my life the subject of a Doctor Who or Legends of Tomorrow episode, it’d be one of those immutable fixed points. I got my hands on the next three books as quickly as I could (the idea of a four-volume trilogy was one of the funniest ideas I’d encountered up to that point), and devoured them. I do know that I didn’t understand all of the humor, several of the references shot past me at the speed of light, and I couldn’t appreciate everything that was being satirized. But what I did understand I thought was brilliant. Not only did I find it funny, the series taught me about comedy—how to construct a joke, how to twist it in ways a reader wouldn’t always expect, and when not to twist but to go for the obviously funny idea. The trilogy also helped me to learn to see the absurdity in life.
Years later when the final volume (by Adams) was released, I’d already cemented what I thought about the books from these frequent re-reads. I’m not sure that <b>Mostly Harmless</b> changed things much (except for making me think for the first time that maybe I didn’t want him to write more in this series). His non-Hitchhiker’s work illustrated that he was capable of making you see things in a new light–either with a smile or a sense of regret—even when he wasn’t writing the trilogy, even when he was writing non-fiction. It was never the setting or the genre—it was Adams.
But here on Towel Day—as with most of the time I talk about Adams (but I need to change that), it comes down to where I started—the Trilogy. I read the books (particularly the first) so many times that I can quote significant portions of them, and frequently do so without noticing that I’m doing that. I have (at this time) two literary-inspired tattoos, one of which is the planet logo* featured on the original US covers. In essence, I’m saying that Adams and the series that made him famous have had an outsized influence on my life and are probably my biggest enduring fandom. If carrying around a (massively useful) piece of cloth for a day in some small way honors his memory? Sure, I’m in.
So, Happy Towel Day You Hoopy Froods.
* I didn’t know it at the time, but Adams didn’t like that guy. Whoops.
(updated and revised this 5/25/24)
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels.
A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.
Hence a phrase that has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in “Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.” (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)
Towel Day, for the few who don’t know, is the annual celebration of Douglas Adams’ life and work. It was first held two weeks after his death, fans were to carry a towel with them for the day to use as a talking point to encourage those who have never read HHGTTG to do so, or to just converse with someone about Adams. Adams is one of that handful of authors that I can’t imagine I’d be the same without having encountered/read/re-read/re-re-re-re-read, and so I do my best to pay a little tribute to him each year, even if it’s just carrying around a towel.
In commemoration of this date, here’s most of what I’ve written about Adams. I’ve struggled to come up with new material to share for Towel Day over the years, mostly sticking with updating and revising existing posts. But I do have a couple of new things coming today. But let’s start with the old material. A few years back, I did a re-read of all of Adams’ (completed) fiction. For reasons beyond my ken (or recollection), I didn’t get around to blogging about the Dirk Gently books, but I did do the Hitchhiker’s Trilogy:
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Life, The Universe and Everything
So Long, and Thanks For All The Fish
Mostly Harmless
I had a thing or two to say about the 40th Anniversary of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
I took a look at the 42nd Anniversary Illustrated Edition of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
I should also point to a posts I wrote about Douglas Adams’ London by Yvette Keller and 42: The Wildly Improbable Ideas of Douglas Adams edited by Kevin Jon Davies—both are great ways of illing-out one’s understanding of Adams and his work. I have to mention the one book that Adams/Hitchhiker’s aficionado needs to read is Don’t Panic by Neil Gaiman, David K. Dickson and MJ Simpson. If you’re more in the mood for a podcast, I’d suggest The Waterstones Podcast How We Made: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy—I’ve listened to several podcast episodes about this book, and generally roll my eyes at them. But this is just fantastic. Were it available, I’d listen to a Peter Jackson-length version of the episode.
I’ve only been able to get one of my sons into Adams, he’s the taller, thinner one in the picture from a few several years ago. 
(although I did get he and his younger siblings to use their towels to make themselves safe from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal a few years earlier:)
You really need to check out this comic from Sheldon Comics—part of the Anatomy of Authors series: The Anatomy of Douglas Adams.
Lit in a Nutshell gives this quick explanation of The Hitchiiker’s Guide:
TowelDay.org is the best collection of resources on the day. One of my favorite posts there is this pretty cool video, shot on the ISS by astronaut Samantha Cristoforetti.
Even better—here’s an appearance by Douglas Adams himself from the old Letterman show—I’m so glad someone preserved this:
Love the anecdote (Also, I want this tie.)
The Havana Run
by Ace Atkins
DETAILS: Publisher: Amazon Original Stories Publication Date: March 12, 2024 Format: eBook Length: 47 pg. Read Date: March 18, 2024
What’s The Havana Run About?
George and Jay are a couple of out-of-work newspapermen who spend more time than they ought drinking (but what else are they going to do?). They meet an elderly Cuban immigrant who wants to hire them to go to retrieve some items for him—it’s not safe for him to return, but there should be no problem with them going.
He doesn’t tell them what they’re going for, assuring them that some of his friends will guide them.
What do they have to lose? They have 10K to gain. Once they get to Havana, the very sketchy plan they have evaporates. The pair finds themselves running from criminals and the police, and unable to trust anyone. Including (especially?) their contact.
So, what did I think about The Havana Run?
Ummm…now that’s a good question. I guess I’d have to say, not much. I liked the two protagonists and enjoyed their interactions with each other and just about everyone they encountered. The action scenes were good, too, as one would expect.
But…I didn’t connect with anything else in this book. I didn’t buy their “mission” (or whatever you want to call it), and couldn’t believe that they went for it—even as desperate for money as they seemed to be. And then everything that happened once they get to Cuba? It was all…I don’t know what to say. Pointless? Disappointing? (there are other, better words, I’m sure, but I’m drawing a blank)
I fully expect there are plenty of people who will have enjoyed this and are glad they read it. I just don’t see why they would. I don’t get what Atkins was trying to do (other than something other than Spenser or Quinn Colson)
This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase from it, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, the opinions expressed are my own.
I did this last month to catch up up to 2023, but the backlog I’d accrued last year was too big for me. So here we go again. This doesn’t get me totally cuaght up, but it’s close enough. Hopefully it’ll be years before I have to resort to this again.
I frequently mention how looming Mt. TBR is getting for me, but what’s worse is my “To Write About” pile, I know I’m never going to catch up with that properly and it bugs me to no end. But in the interest of something being better than nothing, a dash of realism, and a heavy dose of self-care, I’m cutting myself some slack. This was painful to do, I was looking forward to writing about most of these, and I have so much that I want to say. But I’m just not going to get to them—and other books are starting to pile up, too. So, in 144 characters or less, here’s me cutting myself some slack.
(Click on the cover for an official site with more info)
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If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?: My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating by Alan Alda Not sure how helpful this was–but it was quite entertaining & interesting. Hours of Alda’s narration–it almost doesn’t matter what he said. |
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The Librarian of Crooked Lane by C.J. Archer, read by: Marian Hussey Great idea. Okay (ish) execution. Had to push myself to keep going more than once. |
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The Bittlemores by Jann Arden So strange at times. The ending made all of the “why am I bothering” parts worth it. Capital Q-quirky and emotionally effective. Give it a try. |
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Things My Son Needs to Know about the World by Fredrik Backman, read by: Santino Fontana Hilarious and touching. Backman seems more down-to-earth than expected–a great writer & a relatable dad. Should give this to my grandkid’s dad. |
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That Old Cloak and Dagger Routine by Anne Louise Bannon Ummm…a cozy and fairly self-consciously chaste spy novel. Who knew that was possible? Wasn’t wowed, but intrigued enough to read more. |
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The Deal Goes Down by Larry Beinhart A compelling, self-aware, action read. Really dug it, but not sure I’m 100% into the story’s wrap-up, but the denouement helped. |
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Endangered by C.J.Box, read by: David Chandler Ehhhh…I liked this, I think. I’m not sure what to say about it (hence the months of silence from me, I guess) |
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Strong Female Character by Fern Brady Funny and helpful look at one woman coming to terms with an ASD diagnosis, and how she got to it. |
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Hammered by Lindsay Buroker, read by: Vivienne Leheny Good world, great protagonist/narrator. Decent introductory novel. I’ll be back for more. |
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Vampire Weekend by Mike Chen Heckuva read. Words have failed me for a year with this one. The premise, execution, characters, plot–all typical Chen greatness. |
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Spider-Man’s Bad Connection by Preeti Chhibber Not as good as book 1, but filled with everything I liked about it. Seemed more concerned about setting up the series arc than this book’s plot. |
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Blue Like Me by Aaron Philip Clark, read by: Preston Butler III The mystery/police aspect of this series is great. The personal life material is less so. This author/narrator combo makes it worthwhile. |
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Once Upon a Tome: The Misadventures of a Rare Bookseller by Oliver Darkshire If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to work in an antiquarian bookshop or if you like quietly charming people talk about unusual occupations… |
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The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin, read by: Scott Brick So sweet, so heartwarming, so charming. This novel about booksellers in love–and Firkney’s adorable daughter–will steal your heart. |
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Killing Me by Michelle Gagnon Great take on vigilante serial killers. Great turns and twists. |
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Teen Titans: Robin by Kami Garcia, Art by: Gabriel Picolo Not the best in the series, but Garcia’s take on these characters is good enough to overcome that. I just wish these came out faster. |
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Charlie Thorne and the Last Equation by Stuart Gibbs, read by: Emily Woo Zeller The problem with an impossibly smart characters is that the creators behind them aren’t that smart. The results are disappointing. |
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Evil Valley by Simon Hall I like this series, I like the characters…didn’t think this was up to the author’s standards. Some great scenes and a compelling killer. |
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Summer Hours at the Robbers Library by Sue Halpern, read by: Josh Bloomberg, Dara Rosenberg, Allyson Ryan Meandering. The major reveal was a major letdown. It was just intriguing enough to keep me listening, but I wish it hadn’t been. |
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The Stench of Honolulu: A Tropical Adventure by Jack Handey What a waste of time (mine and the authors) and talent. |
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Pieces of Eight by Peter Hartog I <3 this universe. I think this case was weaker, but the character moments, growth, and magic were so great that it didn't matter. I need more. |
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Posthumous Education by Drew Hayes, read by: Kirby Heyborne Good to be back in Fred’s world. Not the best collection of episodes for the Vampire Accountant, but pleasant enough. |
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The Last Ranger by Peter Heller, read by: Mark Deakins Feels like a CJ Box standalone that he abandoned because he couldn’t come up with an ending. Heller couldn’t either, but called it good anyway. |
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The Door-to-Door Bookstore by Carsten Henn, read by: Raphael Corkhill, translated by Melody Shaw Schmaltzy but pure-of-heart. One central character’s motivation makes no sense. Ignoring that, it’s a sweet celebration of books/readers. |
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Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide to Homicide by Rupert Holmes, read by: Simon Vance, Neil Patrick Harris Possibly too clever for its own good. I vacillated between reveling in it and utter disdain. It’s a mixed-bag that won me over in the end. |
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Fixit by Joe Ide IQ and Dodson are back and better than ever. Who needs to say more than that? |
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Thornhedge by T. Kingfisher, read by: Jennifer Blom Great prose in service of a solid modern take on Cinderella. |
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Flood and Fury: Old Testament Violence and the Shalom of God by Matthew J. Lynch Helpful work on Divine Violence (how to think of it, how not to think of it or avoid the idea, either) and about the conquest of Canaan. |
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But Have You Read the Book?: 52 Literary Gems That Inspired Our Favorite Films by Kristen Lopez How can a book with this premise be so dull? And snobbish, too. |
| The Chinese Groove by Kathryn Ma, read by: James Chen Great characters, an okay story, but the payoff wasn’t there. The ending was bad enough to make me wish I hadn’t spent the time. |
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Noirville: Tales From The Dark Side by Chris McVeigh 15 of the best short stories I’ve ever read. This is how Crime Fiction should always be. |
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Grand Theft Astro by Scott Meyer, read by: Elizabeth Evans The Stainless Steel Rat with a contemporary twist. Meyer is capable of better, but I had enough fun (not sure I’m sold on the ending) |
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The Eternity Fund by Liz Monument Dynamite dystopian adventure. Worth the $ just for the worldbuilding. The story and characters were even better–I’d relish a sequel. |
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The Mostly True Story of Tanner and Louise by Colleen Oakley, read by: Hillary Huber It took me a long time to decide what this book was really about, but I enjoyed the trip. The destination was okay, too. |
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The Raven Thief by Gigi Pandian See what I said about Spider-Man’s Bad Connection. |
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Killers of a Certain Age by Deanna Raybourn, read by: Jane Oppenheimer, Christina Delaine Who doesn’t enjoy an octogenarian assassin? Who doesn’t love female assassins? A group of them out for revenge? Sure-fire fun. |
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Vanished by Kat Richardson, read by: Mia Brown Good story, but felt underwhelmed by it all. I think it was me and my timing. not Richardson. I need to get back on this horse. |
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She-Hulk, Vol. 1: Jen, Again by Rainbow Rowell A real winner from Rowell. I knew I should’ve started reading this series earlier. Good art, interesting arcs, & some real smiles were induced. |
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How to Examine a Wolverine: More Tales from the Accidental Veterinarian by Philipp Schott, read by: Geet Arora A fun Veterinarian Memoir, with a lot of heart. James Herriot with more laughs and technology. |
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The Green Ember by S.D. Smith, read by: Zach Franzen Maybe too much like Wingfeather Saga, but with rabbits instead of humans. Still, a good fantasy for the MG crowd. |
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Don’t Hang Up by Benjamin Stevenson, read by: Luke Arnold, Sybilla Budd I can’t do better than Mike Finn did. Go read what he said. It’s why I listened. |
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How I Won a Nobel Prize by Julius Taranto, read by: Lauren Fortgang Some good writing, but squandered for…I’m not sure really. |
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The Marlow Murder Club by Robert Thorogood, read by: Nicolette McKenzie Decent cozy with an intriguing cast of oddball slueths. |
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Questland by Carrie Vaughn Jurassic Park for RPG, SF, Fantasy, etc. fans. Been a Vaughn fan for years, but don’t know that I’ve had this much fun with one of her novels. |
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All Systems Red by Martha Wells, read by: Kevin R. Free Oh, wow. I understand all the fuss over this series. I shouldn’t have slept on this–or the sequels like I have. |
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Self Help by Ben H. Winters, read by: Wil Wheaton, Ron Perlman Cool concept. Great cast. Entertaining but not-entirely satisfying result. Worth the time. But not much more. |
Warriorborn
by Jim Butcher
DETAILS: Series: The Cinder Spires, #1.5 Publisher: Podium Publishing Ulc Publication Date: September 19, 2023 Format: eBook Length: 146 pg. Read Date: November 11, 2023
What’s Warriorborn About?
A little time has passed since we met our heroes—training was completed, people have new jobs, promotions were given, the threat of war looms larger, and so on. The status quo, in short, is in flux and everyone’s trying to settle in before things get really messed up.
The mysterious and deadly Warriorborn, Benedict Sorellin-Lancaster, has been promoted to lieutenant—as one example. And, as you can guess from this novella’s title, we will be focused on him. The Spirearch is sending him on a mission to retrieve certain documents that the Spirearch seems to have misplaced at a colony that’s gone radio silent. As backup, Benedict is assigned three other Warriorborn for this mission—deadly criminals put away by Benedict, who will earn freedom in return for their help here. Not exactly a merry band, but they should be enough to tackle most threats they encounter.
But what they find when they arrive at Dependence isn’t what anyone figured, and “most” quite definitely doesn’t mean “all.”
The Development of the Series
There are a couple of notable things about this novella—first of all, we get a great look into the Warriorborn as a whole, not just what we learned about Benedict in The Aeronaut’s Windlass. The Warriorborn was one of the most intriguing concepts from that book, so getting to learn more about them was a treat. That right there is enough to justify the purchase price.
But even better is the little updates we get about many of the primary characters, setting the stage for where they’ll be in The Olympian Affair. I was already eager to dive in—seeing these flashes of their future, and the way that the war is progressing just makes me want to tear into The Olympian Affair.
So, what did I think about Warriorborn?
This was a fast-moving thrill ride. Yeah, there’s some character development and exploration of some of what makes the various characters (particularly the new ones) tick. Butcher knows how to write action—if you’ve read anything by him, you know this. Throw in some clever dialogue, and that’s enough to satisfy me.
The threat that they discover once they get to Dependence is as creepy as you want. The world of The Cinder Spires isn’t a kind world, and it’s hard for humanity (and felinity) in more than one way, as we’re learning now. But as long as there are people like Benedict and the crew of Predator, maybe there’s hope.
Despite this being a bridge between Books 1 and 2 of the series, this wouldn’t make a bad jumping on point—if you like this quick taste of this world, you’ll want to go see how Benedict and the rest got to this point just as much as you’re going to want to see what happens to them next.
In a podcast interview, Butcher described this as “an apology novella,” due to how long it took to get the second book of the series completed. In the eyes of this fan, apology accepted.
This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase from it, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, the opinions expressed are my own.
I did this back in January 2020, and need to do it again.
I frequently mention how looming Mt. TBR is getting for me, but what’s worse is my “To Write About” pile, I know I’m never going to catch up with that properly and it bugs me to no end. But in the interest of something being better than nothing, a dash of realism, and a heavy dose of self-care, I’m cutting myself some slack. So I’m clearing the deck of everything from 2020-2022 that I haven’t made time for. This was painful to do, I was looking forward to writing about most of these, and I have so much that I want to say. But I’m just not going to get to them—and other books are starting to pile up, too. So, in 144 characters or less, here’s me cutting myself some slack.
How bad am I at keeping up with my To-Write-Titles? I put together the list of books for this post in January 2023. And am just now getting to it. I wish that was a joke.
(Click on the cover for an official site with more info)
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Battle Ground by Jim Butcher I just can’t talk about this one yet. I need more time. (yeah, they’re fictional characters, but I’ve spent too long with them to not be reeling) |
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Desert Star by Michael Connelly Loved it while reading it. But I have more and more questions about all of it the longer I think about it. Not Connelly’s best but well worth it |
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Dead Ground by M. W. Craven Not a typical Poe and Tilly case, just as good and gripping as the rest though. |
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The Posthumous Memoirs of Brás Cubas by Machado de Assis, Flora Thomson-DeVeaux (Translator) A strange and somewhat humorous look at a ghost’s POV on his life. I want to read it a few more times to really get a handle on it. Heckuva read |
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Nightwing: Year One Deluxe Edition by Chuck Dixon If there’s a better Nightwing writer out there, I’d like to see it. A great, great, great telling of his origin. |
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Mythos by Stephen Fry Drags a little. Wish he could pick a tone for his retellings/commentary on the classic stories. Still, it’s Stephen Fry talking—worth the time. |
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Heroes: Mortals and Monsters, Quests and Adventures by Stephen Fry See above, but felt it dragged a bit more. |
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Teen Titans: Beast Boy by Kami Garcia, Gabriel Picolo (Penciller) A solid, believable update of Gar Logan’s backstory. Very promising follow-up to the Raven book. Really impressed with Picolo. |
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Teen Titans: Beast Boy Loves Raven by Kami Garcia, Gabriel Picolo (Penciller) Bring the two together and it’s even better. I’m curious about the overall story, but would read just them being awkward together. Like the art. |
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Missing Pieces: A Kings Lake Investigation by Peter Grainger, Gildart Jackosn (Narrator) The Murder Squad tackles a cold case and is as excellent as ever. I don’t know how to talk about this series w/o being redundant. I want more! |
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Junkyard War by Faith Hunter, Khristine Hvam (Narrator) This was utterly fine. A lot didn’t go the way I expected. But I’m still in this series for the long haul. |
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The Dime by Kathleen Kent One of the best first chapters ever. The rest is pretty good. Not sure I buy the motive for the murders, nor that I want to see what comes next. |
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Batman: City of Crime by David Lapham If you buy (I can’t) Batman losing sight of his mission, this story about him recovering it is great. If you can’t…well, it’s pretty good. |
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Bluebird, Bluebird by Attica Locke, J.D. Jackson (Narrator) A stunning work of fiction. Words fail me. A deeply compromised Texas Ranger tries to solve a potential hate crime and keep his job. |
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Flynn by Gregory McDonald, Donald Corren (Narrator) I expected the Fletch narrator for some reason, but Corren won me over in minutes. One of my favorite novels of all-time. Great audio version. |
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Son of Fletch by Gregory McDonald, Dan John Miller (Narrator) Oh, I wanted to love this. But I just liked it. I’ll probably hear Miller in my head anytime I read Fletch in print. |
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Fletch Reflected by Gregory McDonald, Dan John Miller (Narrator) This is not the way the series should’ve ended. Some fantastic moments, but not sure it was worth it. Miller was solid as always. |
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Last Couple Standing by Matthew Norman Norman’s best female characters (to date). Stupid premise, but it almost convinces me to like it by the end. Lots of great moments. |
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Weakness Is the Way: Life with Christ Our Strength by J.I. Packer Packer’s great on 2 Corinthians and what Paul tells about weakness as a way of life for the Christian. |
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The Monster in the Hollows by Andrew Peterson I’m not sure I loved the way the story went in this one, but I grew to appreciate it. Characters are still great. |
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The Warden and the Wolf King by Andrew Peterson Whatever my misgivings about the last one, this was the right way to end the series. Just what I wanted (if mildly predictable) |
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Deathstroke, Vol. 1: The Professional by Christopher J. Priest I prefer the version Wolfman and Perez initially told about his origin, but this ain’t a bad version. And I see why it was necessary. Good ’nuff |
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There Goes The Neighborhood by S. Reed I stopped working with a book tour company because they wouldn’t let me be honest about this book ever. So I won’t be. Loved ALL of it. <3<3<3<3 |
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Percy Jackson’s Greek Gods by Rick Riordan, Jesse Bernstein (Narrator) If Percy Jackson edited D’Aulaires’s book you’d get this. A great way to introduce the myths to young readers. Bernstein is a spot-on Percy. |
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Percy Jackson’s Greek Heroes by Rick Riordan, Jesse Bernstein (Narrator) See above, but with heroes. |
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I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf by Grant Snider If someone looked into my brain, took all of my ideas and feelings, and improved them, you’d get this book. But only one-third as good as this. |
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All These Worlds by Dennis E. Taylor, Ray Porter (Narrator) Taylor and Porter are unbeatable together. This is funny (duh), and the grief and sadness are real. As is the anger. Is the ending too easy? |
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The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien, Andy Serkis (Narrator) Serkis nails the narration (as you’d expect). Is there a better first book of a series in Fantasy? |
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The Two Towers by J.R.R. Tolkien, Andy Serkis (Narrator) Serkis is tremendous here. This whole book is ridiculously good. |
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The Return of the King by by J.R.R. Tolkien, Andy Serkis (Narrator) One day the pacing on this won’t surprise me. The book gets better every time. Serkis was phenomenal. |
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Annihilation Aria by Michael R. Underwood Found family stars in this fun, space opera about archeologists fighting an empire. |
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The Cartel by Don Winslow The best of the trilogy. Shocking. Moving. Gripping. All-too-real—if you told me this was non-fiction, I’d almost believe it. A true classic. |
The MOST Powerful Christmas
by JCM Berne
DETAILS: Series: Hybrid Helix Publication Date: The Gnost House Publication Date: December 10, 2023 Format: eBook Length: 58 pgs. Read Date: December 9, 2023
“Can I buy you a drink?”
Rohan hung his head and weighed his options. I could give the predictable, yet overly pedantic response, and say, ‘I don’t know, can you?’ But I think I’ve beaten that joke to death. Then brought it back to life and killed it again.
I could also just refuse, but I don’t want to be rude. Do I?
Or I could let this guy buy me a drink and get pulled into some incredibly sad story of tragedy or revenge or something else where only my help can restore justice or protect his species or save his planet and then I wind up losing another eye fighting someone else’s fight.
Hold on, was this guy talking to me in English?
What’s The MOST Powerful Christmas About?
It’s not often that a Christmas story starts with an opening line like that. Particularly not one starring Santa Claus himself. But isn’t it about time that more do?
Santa has been sent to Rohan for some advice. He’s disillusioned with the whole Christmas thing–or at least his role in it. He’s tired of the creed, the commercialization, the spoiled kids getting more spoiled and the poor kids getting very little, if anything. He’s tried drinking, and other non-St. Nick-like activities to help his spirits, but it’s just no use. He even found a Gideon Bible in a hotel room, and that just made it all worse (but provides a good line about Nakatomi Tower).
Rohan realizes that Christmas is in trouble–and hero that he is, comes up with a way to save the day, help out millions of children, and even bring back a twinkle to Santa’s eye and some merriness to his dimples. IF the two of them–and some friends–can pull it off.
The Chimney Explanation (et cetera)
One thing I really appreciate about most modern takes on Santa is the explanations for how he can gain entrance to a home (particularly those with small and/or non-existent Chimneys) and make it to every home in one night. Well, I appreciate the good ones–I get judgemental about others.
I particularly enjoyed the way Berne’s Santa gives Rohan and the rest a peak behind the curtain and spells out his magic. There’s enough logic and science-y gobbledygook mixed in to make it work. It’s playful and yet consistent with the world of Hybrid Helix.
So, what did I think about The MOST Powerful Christmas?
Kris smiled. “You like to make jokes.”
“It’s my one character flaw. Also excessive humility. And counting.”
I’m not saying that JCM Berne is up there with Irving Berlin or Johnny Marks (yet, anyway), but he does fit right in with the number of Jewish writers do a great job of capturing the essence of Christmas.
Ultimately, this is like one of those sit-com Christmas specials where Santa is brought before Judge Harold T. Stone, gets held over for psychiatric care, and strange things start to happen. Or when Tim Taylor and his family hear footsteps on the roof and some bells jingling.* It’s a cute time of holiday cheer and reflection on what the civic holiday means (and how it does/doesn’t match the lifestyle urged by its namesake). Apparently, it is canonical, so completists will want to get their hands on it–I am curious to see how/if anything that happens here shows up in future novel.
* I don’t know if either of those actually happened, but you catch my drift.
Along with the holiday cheer, you get some of that patented snappy-Berne dialogue, which is fun to read no matter the topic, a bit of Rohan in action, and North Pole-inspired ingenuity that’s as good as anything that Sarah Smith/Barry Cook or Clay Kaytis ever produced (Berne’s Santa is worthy of both of them, too). I think I would’ve preferred a little more superhero action “on screen,” but I think it fits better for it to happen off the page to keep the focus on the holiday-antics (also, it would’ve made this a novella rather than a short story).
It’s fun, it’s quick, it’s free…and this time of year, we can all use a little of all three.
Partial Function
by JCM Berne
DETAILS: Publication Date: November 7, 2023 Format: eARC Length: 361 pgs. Read Date: October 9-10, 2023
The First Chapter
Don’t worry, I’m not about to go through this book chapter-by-chapter talking about each one—there are thirty chapters, and while I know I can go on and on about books that I like…
No, I’m going to focus on the first chapter for a moment for one reason—your reaction to the first chapter is going to tell you everything you need to know about this book. If you read that chapter (and everyone who’s stumbled onto this post should do at least that) and you think “Yeah, I can see myself enjoying this book.” You almost certainly will. If you read it and think, “Oh yeah! Give me more of that!!” You definitely need to read on. If you read this chapter and aren’t that interested in going on—trust that instinct and move on with your life. Also, I feel bad for you. (but I say that without judgment, even if it doesn’t sound like it).
This chapter isn’t quite the novel in microcosm, but it comes close—it has the spirit, the humor, the action, the supernaturally-charged martial arts, and the panache that will characterize the rest of the book. Anddddd, best of all, it features a very good dog. The book will bring in more characters than just Akina Azure and her dog (frustratingly named Dog*), which is the biggest reason I can’t say this chapter is a microcosm.
* It’s not just this that Akina has in common with Walt Longmire—I actually could write a post comparing the two—but this is my biggest complaint with both of them. You two have great canine companions, they deserve a great name.
So, What’s Partial Function About, Anyway?
I don’t know that I can do better than the description I was given for the cover reveal a couple of weeks ago—I’ve tried, and I keep unintentionally borrowing elements from it, so let’s just use it:
If Taken starred Michelle Yeoh and was set on a Jurassic Park-inspired Cradle.
Monster hunter Akina Azure inherited the most powerful weapon in the martial world before retiring to a peaceful life raising her twin girls.
The Reaver has them kidnapped, thinking Akina will trade that weapon for their safe return.
Will she? Or will she use it to wreak a terrible retribution on the men who took her girls?
You get one guess.
I’ll expand a bit on that, though.
Akina was part of a legendary band of adventurers, The Five Fangs, and then she and her husband Petrick (also one of the band) retired to go live far away and start a family. None of their friends have seen—or heard—from them or of them in years. Long enough for them to raise twins into their teens before Petrick died of blood plague (I don’t know what that is, but the name alone…).
Now, Akina tracks down one of the Fangs, Remy, to help her. She needs his connections to put her in touch with the people she needs to put her rescue plan into action. It wouldn’t hurt to have one of the few people alive that she trusts to have her back, either.
Remy isn’t crazy about the idea, but he can’t say no to Akina. These two past-their-prime warriors are soon joined by a much younger fighter (who is not quite in her prime and has a lot to learn first) that they can’t entirely trust, but can certainly use. Three people and a dog against the most powerful, feared, and twisted warrior (and his army) living. That’s if they can dodge the kaiju-esque monsters along the way.
It’s really not a fair fight.
Fantasy’s Answer to Sam Axe
I predict that most people talking about this book are going to focus on Akina—as they should. And I’m tempted to spend a lot of time talking about Dog, because he’s such a good boy.
But I want to hone in on Remy for a bit. He’s so essential to the way this book works, and I think he’s so easy to overlook. Sure, Akina and Zhu have some good, snappy, dialogue, and Dog being dog is amusing. Remy’s easily the funniest character in the novel and can be seen as only comic relief. That’s an error.
A couple of days ago, in an earlier draft of this post, I made a joke about him essentially being Sam Axe from Burn Notice. I haven’t been able to get that comparison out of my mind. It’s so on the nose. Remy serves as Akina’s Devil’s Advocate, voice of reason, conscience, and confessor. He’s the only one she fully trusts anymore. He knows someone (or knows someone who knows someone) everywhere they go and can get them whatever resources they need. In a fight, he’s almost as good as Akina and saves her on more than one occasion.
He covers all this with a commitment to doing nothing but drinking, womanizing, and lazing about all day—which is pretty much what he’s been doing since Petrick took Akina off to who-knows-where. When called upon, he steps into action, griping the entire time about how it’s cutting into his drinking. Again—Sam Axe.
If you’ve ever wondered what a wuxia-adjacent Bruce Campbell would be like, this is the book for you.
Okay, setting that all aside—at the end of the day, you’re going to like Remy and trust him to do the right thing more than pretty much anyone else in the book (see the next section for a hint of that). His agenda is pretty clear—do the right thing by his friend, do the right thing in general, and then leave everyone to their business so he can get back to pickling his liver. He may not understand the nuances of everything going on—but he’s honest, he’s clever, and he’s tough. Just the kind of guy you want to have around.
The Central Question of the Book
Most—possibly all—of the “bad guys” in this novel wouldn’t describe themselves that way. They think they’re doing the right thing to save the world, or at least civilization. Not just the right thing—the only thing that will save humanity.
But they’re so focused on the ends that they cross all sorts of lines when it comes to means. They do things to increase their power that are repugnant to the reader and just about every character in the novel. Honestly, kidnapping Akina’s twins in order to compel her to surrender her weapon is pretty much the mildest thing the “villains” like the Reaver do to secure the ability they think will help them.
It’d be easy to write them off here—ends don’t justify the means and all that, right?
But when you stop and think about the steps that Akina takes to enable her to rescue the twins? It’s hard to think of her as a hero (and she doesn’t pretend to be one, in fact, she outright denies it).
The novel focuses on Akina; she’s nice (generally) to Remy, Zhu, and her dog as they travel; she’s funny; she defends young women from creeps and slavers…and so on. So you reflexively think of her as a “good guy” a “hero.”
As we read Partial Function, we’re thinking about things like Taken. So let’s start there—are the actions that Bryan Mills takes to rescue Kim, the right thing to do? Sure some of them—but all of them? How about John Wick—think of the death and destruction that comes from him getting his vengeance? We’re inclined to think of Mills* and Wick as the heroes—but are they? I’d ask the same thing about Akina.
* Who am I kidding? None of us think of him as Mills, we think “Liam Neeson”—or “Liam Neesons,” maybe. No one thinks of him as Bryan Mills.
Now, that isn’t a criticism of her as a character. I loved Akina. I wanted to see her win, her whole plan was brilliant, I enjoyed watching her fight, banter, be corrected, and wreak vengeance. Maybe even more than I enjoyed Neeson or Wick doing the same.
I’m just not sure I should.
So, what did I think about Partial Function?
I have a couple of pages of notes that I can’t get to. There are so many quotable moments—because of heart or laughs. Berne’s got a way with words that I’m tempted to call Butcher-esque, and I just want more of it. But I need to get moving, so let’s just say that I had so, so, so much fun with this. Between this, Chu’s The War Arts Saga, and talking a little to Tao Wong this summer, I’ve decided I need to make more room in my reading for wuxia-inspired works.
The world-building deserves a paragraph or five to celebrate it (but it’s taken me 2 weeks to get this much written, I’m not risking putting this off any longer). For example, I should talk about the kaiju-ish creatures, but beyond saying they’re dinosaurish animals with powers that love snacking on humans (when they’re not stomping on them), I don’t know what to say. The political/clan system serves the whole thing well and I’d enjoy seeing more of it in a future installment.
Partial Function is a fast, enjoyable, action-packed read with a lot of heart and just enough humor to help you deal with the stakes and destruction. And these characters? I loved getting to know them and spending time with them. There’s a lot to chew on in these pages if you’re in a thoughtful mood, and if you’re not? You don’t need to, you can just enjoy the ride.
This was intended as a stand-alone, but the door is open for another adventure or so for the survivors. If we get a sequel, I’ll be first in line for it. If we don’t? This is going down as one of my favorite fantasy stand-alones. Either way—I’m encouraging you to read the first chapter and apply what I opened with. I’m sure there will be those who don’t get into this, but I can’t understand why.
Disclaimer: I received this eARC from the author—after repeated requests—in exchange for this post and my honest opinion.
It’s Publication Day for Partial Function by JCM Berne and what better way to commemorate it than with a Q&A with the author his own bad self?
Give us a quick origin story—how old were you when you caught the Writing Bug? What made you decide “I’m going to get serious about it now” (whenever that happened to be)? etc.
I wrote what we’d call fanfic (I had never heard the term) in elementary school, but I didn’t try to write an actual story until just after dropping out of grad school. I was inspired by RA Salvatore – The Cleric Quintet – and I wanted to write fantasy stories about dwarves. Something about his dwarves really struck a chord in my imagination. This was around 1998.
I wrote a couple of novels, went nowhere with them, and tried again in 2006. Self-publishing as we know it didn’t really exist back then, so I basically gave up. In 2019 I got the bug again – I had a little bit of time, and Invincible gave me the same writing itch that I’d gotten from Salvatore – and I wrote Wistful Ascending in one big burst, promising myself that I’d put it on Amazon even if it sucked. Which I did! (for the record, he ended up putting it on Amazon without it sucking)
What came first—the desire to take a break from The Hybrid Helix or this story? How important was it for you to take this break?
I didn’t exactly want to take a break. I wanted to write something more marketable – HH is a very tough sell, commercially (it’s a superhero story that doesn’t include superhero conventions like an origin story or supervillains, and it’s VERY hard to describe – count the reviews that say, “this isn’t what I expected!” – it’s a lot of reviews.) A lot of my target readers are much more into fantasy. And I really, really wanted to do better in SPFBO, which is totally an ego thing and not rational in any sense. AND I wanted something with less pressure. Every HH book gets harder, because I have to keep in mind the series-level story and the book-level story simultaneously. With a standalone I can drop all of that pressure.
So I decided to start from a killer pitch, instead of the weirdness that is Wistful Ascending, and write a straight fantasy (instead of superhero/sci-fi) with a straightforward narrative and see what happened. And I failed, because of course I did. I should have made Akina an Elven Ranger and set the story in a setting that could pass for an amateur D&D campaign. But I love fisticuffs and dinosaurs more than I love archery, and I had the worldbuilding basically done (it’s the same universe as HH, broadly speaking), and I didn’t want to take six extra months to do it.
Another aspect of doing something new was trying to write something cheaper. The HH books – with the cover artist, narrator, and editor I’m committed to – are huge money pits. I wanted the chance to release something that wouldn’t cost an arm and a leg. And I failed again, though Partial Function cost me a lot less than a HH book, it didn’t end up being anywhere near as bare-bones as I intended.
I’ve heard authors say that they learn something while writing each book. What did Partial Function teach you that The Hybrid Helix hasn’t? How was the experience different in this new world?
I learned that, once again, my sense for what other people will enjoy is not very good. I had very little confidence in this book. I mean, I knew I loved it, and I knew it did what I wanted it to do from a craft perspective, but I didn’t really think other people would like it. And so far, the reception has been really positive. People aren’t hung up on the weird stuff in the book as much as I thought.
It’s a nice feeling, but also disturbing, because it’s good to have people like your art, but it’s also a bummer to know I’m not good at judging my audience. I suppose I might as well just go on writing what I love and hoping.
You’ve described yourself as a “kitchen sink writer,” I used more words to describe it, and greatly prefer your pared-down version—what do you mean by that? Is that just who you are, or did you make decision along the way to become one? (I never expected to ask a nature vs. nurture question)
I have a lot of interests, in fiction and outside it, and I like to throw stuff from all of that into my books. Infinity bagua is actually a really interesting martial arts idea – bagua is a real martial art in which training is focused on walking in circles (I’m oversimplifying), and infinity walks are a real training tool used by some very serious coaches, so combining them isn’t actually as random and silly as it sounds. I’ve read a lot of manga and American comics and watched a LOT of martial arts movies, so I threw a lot of pieces from them into this.
It was never really a decision. If I try to write something more straightforward, without a lot of weird things thrown in – if I had tried to make this “Taken, but set in Shannara” – I get bored. This isn’t my day job: if the writing gets boring, I’ll quit. I have no idea what would change if this WERE my day job and I really had to write something commercial, but that’s a question for another lifetime.
I want to ask a couple of questions about Partial Function characters. I have a handful about Zhu, but…I can’t think of a way to ask them without spoiling something. So, what would you want a prospective reader to know about her? (basically, say whatever you want about Zhu)
I included Zhu because I was too lazy to draw a map. In fantasy novels, travel is a big thing – you have to have a map, measure distances, calculate the average distance a wagon can travel over rough terrain in a day, etc. etc. etc. I had no enthusiasm for that. So I gave everybody teleportation magic and let them hop around to my heart’s content.
Once I put Zhu on the team, she had to do more than just be a human taxi. She’s a teenager, so I made her snarky, because the day I write a non-snarky teenager is the day they can pull the plug on my life support. It’s low hanging fruit, basically. But I didn’t want to make her too obnoxious, or rebellious for its own sake, because those traits annoy me, so I tempered that out a bit.
The other piece of it is allowing us to see a little bit of Akina-as-a-mom. That part was mostly accidental, but I felt like it raised the stakes to see that side of her. I’ve seen the “I’ve got to rescue my kids because I was a negligent parent and it’s my way to work out my guilt” trope in other stories and I hate it. Akina was a good mom, in her own opinion, and she wanted her girls back because she loved them. Full stop.
After that, Zhu just became fun. Once I have a character’s voice in my head, it’s joy to give them their own dialogue, their own jokes, with their own timing and approach. Good jokes are character-specific (I learned that from Howard Tayler).
I talked a little bit about Remy in my original post about the book, and you told me he was important to you. Can you unpack that a bit?
I love all the main characters, but I feel like Remy is the least sexy. Sort of. People are desperate for action moms in fantasy – it’s something I’ve heard repeated – and people love competent younger characters coming into their own. And come on, everybody loves animal companions, especially when they’re adorable. But big guys who are good at fighting aren’t in short supply.
To me, Remy was important because of what he wasn’t, in some ways. He loves Akina with zero romantic or sexual intent, and vice versa. They’re genuine friends, and he’ll do anything for her, exactly the same way he’d have done anything for Petrik. And I like that kind of relationship. I feel like the expectation is that we find out halfway through that he would have had some spark for Akina and been pining after her for years, and I just wanted to pull the plug on that. He doesn’t want to have sex with Akina, at all, period. He just loves her, and she loves him, and that’s that.
Who are some of the bigger influences you have in your writing—this book and others—whether or not readers can see them, you know they’re there?
I’m 52 and I’ve been a compulsive consumer of media for about 42 of those years, so there’s an awful lot.
For writing style I have to say some RA Salvatore (who I forget to mention as often as I should) and Jim Butcher. But I was writing like this before Storm Front was published, so maybe that’s not quite right. Maybe my influences were more Glen Cook (PI Garrett Cook, not Black Company Cook, in terms of style) and Steven Brust.
I also take a lot from comics, too many to remember. Brubaker, Starlin, Chaykin . . . I wouldn’t know where to stop. Ellis. Moench. I had a bad habit when I was younger of buying comics and not paying attention to the creative team, so I didn’t even know who was influencing me, but they were.
And for this book in particular, I use a lot of movie influences. Taken, John Wick, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Jurassic Park! And a lot of anime and manga. Those influences are big in HH, but maybe even bigger in Partial Function. I never wanted to see Wistful Ascending adapted to film (I mean, I wouldn’t say no, but it was never a thing I cared about) but I’d LOVE to see a series made of PF.
What’s next for JCM Berne, author? I’ve seen some things you’ve posted on social media sites, but I can’t tell how serious you’re being—and either way, I’m very intrigued.
I have a bad habit of getting excited about something, planning it, writing a chapter, then realizing the voice doesn’t work for me. Well, that’s not the bad habit, but posting about it on twitter IS. My progression fantasy about tiny dragons is a solid idea but I just didn’t enjoy writing it as much as I thought.
Right now I have three ongoing project. I’m going to continue the Hybrid Helix, because I haven’t even gotten to the point yet. I have no idea how long that will be, but I can’t imagine fitting the story I want to tell into ten or fewer books. 12? 17? We’ll see.
I wrote Partial Function as a standalone, and I didn’t deliberately throw anything in there that was meant to seed a sequel (unlike Wistful Ascending, which I wrote from the start as the entry point to a series). The story is over, and any sequel has to have a new story. I didn’t really have a good idea for that sequel until a couple of weeks ago, but now I think I have one. I might write that in December, or the next HH, I haven’t decided yet.
The third project is The Grimdwarf, a story about an immortal, cursed Dwarf who keeps trying to die in battle. It’s sort of an homage to Gotrek and Felix, except Felix is a woman and they have a dog. I’m playing with the structure, writing it almost like a manga. Some chapters are standalones, some are tied together into arcs, but I’m not building it into novel-length pieces – some arcs might be novel-length, but some might be much shorter, and I’m allowing that deliberately.
I have no idea what to do with this. It’s a story I love, personally, but I don’t know if other people will want to read it. Lots of punching, lots of banter, some worldbuilding, a touch of pathos. I might just give it away (say, a chapter a week) to patreon patrons or people who get my newsletter or just toss it onto Royal Road and say, “here you go!” A lot depends on reception. I will see how much I can get done this month – sort of a fake NanoWriMo (since it’s not really a novel) – and maybe get some alpha/beta readers to tell me if I should trunk it or not.
Thanks for your time—and thanks for Partial Function—I had such a blast with this and hope it finds the audience it deserves!
Thank you so much, HC! Positive critical reception is a huge part of why I’m still writing. I’m very glad you gave this book a chance.
Partial Function is out NOW—go grab yourself a copy.
