The MOST Powerful Christmas
by JCM Berne
DETAILS: Series: Hybrid Helix Publication Date: The Gnost House Publication Date: December 10, 2023 Format: eBook Length: 58 pgs. Read Date: December 9, 2023
“Can I buy you a drink?”
Rohan hung his head and weighed his options. I could give the predictable, yet overly pedantic response, and say, ‘I don’t know, can you?’ But I think I’ve beaten that joke to death. Then brought it back to life and killed it again.
I could also just refuse, but I don’t want to be rude. Do I?
Or I could let this guy buy me a drink and get pulled into some incredibly sad story of tragedy or revenge or something else where only my help can restore justice or protect his species or save his planet and then I wind up losing another eye fighting someone else’s fight.
Hold on, was this guy talking to me in English?
What’s The MOST Powerful Christmas About?
It’s not often that a Christmas story starts with an opening line like that. Particularly not one starring Santa Claus himself. But isn’t it about time that more do?
Santa has been sent to Rohan for some advice. He’s disillusioned with the whole Christmas thing–or at least his role in it. He’s tired of the creed, the commercialization, the spoiled kids getting more spoiled and the poor kids getting very little, if anything. He’s tried drinking, and other non-St. Nick-like activities to help his spirits, but it’s just no use. He even found a Gideon Bible in a hotel room, and that just made it all worse (but provides a good line about Nakatomi Tower).
Rohan realizes that Christmas is in trouble–and hero that he is, comes up with a way to save the day, help out millions of children, and even bring back a twinkle to Santa’s eye and some merriness to his dimples. IF the two of them–and some friends–can pull it off.
The Chimney Explanation (et cetera)
One thing I really appreciate about most modern takes on Santa is the explanations for how he can gain entrance to a home (particularly those with small and/or non-existent Chimneys) and make it to every home in one night. Well, I appreciate the good ones–I get judgemental about others.
I particularly enjoyed the way Berne’s Santa gives Rohan and the rest a peak behind the curtain and spells out his magic. There’s enough logic and science-y gobbledygook mixed in to make it work. It’s playful and yet consistent with the world of Hybrid Helix.
So, what did I think about The MOST Powerful Christmas?
Kris smiled. “You like to make jokes.”
“It’s my one character flaw. Also excessive humility. And counting.”
I’m not saying that JCM Berne is up there with Irving Berlin or Johnny Marks (yet, anyway), but he does fit right in with the number of Jewish writers do a great job of capturing the essence of Christmas.
Ultimately, this is like one of those sit-com Christmas specials where Santa is brought before Judge Harold T. Stone, gets held over for psychiatric care, and strange things start to happen. Or when Tim Taylor and his family hear footsteps on the roof and some bells jingling.* It’s a cute time of holiday cheer and reflection on what the civic holiday means (and how it does/doesn’t match the lifestyle urged by its namesake). Apparently, it is canonical, so completists will want to get their hands on it–I am curious to see how/if anything that happens here shows up in future novel.
* I don’t know if either of those actually happened, but you catch my drift.
Along with the holiday cheer, you get some of that patented snappy-Berne dialogue, which is fun to read no matter the topic, a bit of Rohan in action, and North Pole-inspired ingenuity that’s as good as anything that Sarah Smith/Barry Cook or Clay Kaytis ever produced (Berne’s Santa is worthy of both of them, too). I think I would’ve preferred a little more superhero action “on screen,” but I think it fits better for it to happen off the page to keep the focus on the holiday-antics (also, it would’ve made this a novella rather than a short story).
It’s fun, it’s quick, it’s free…and this time of year, we can all use a little of all three.
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