Category: Fantasy Page 28 of 47

DETAILS:
Series: Constance Verity, #3
Publisher: Gallery / Saga Press
Publication Date: March 7, 2022
Format: Hardcover
Length: 290 pg    
Read Date: April 6-8, 2022

She pushed a chair into a corner of the room not visible from the street and sat. There was a feel to her life. Danger didn’t usually feel this dangerous. Danger was just background noise. But this was a lot of people trying to kill her. More than normal.

What’s Constance Verity Destroys the Universe About?

This book starts off with Constance Verity doing something almost unbelievable for her—normal things. She attends a dinner party to celebrate her best friend’s/sidekick’s upcoming wedding, she spends a day hanging out with her fiancé at a park and museum—sure, there’s a duel with an alien in there, as well as dealing with an international crisis, etc. But for Connie, that’s pretty sedate.

Then things stop happening—no death rays, mad scientists, pan-dimensional threats—not even a kitten stuck in a tree. It’s unnerving to all who know her well. On the plus side, Tia and Hiro’s wedding should go off without an interruption, right? And it does—the reception, however…

When things start happening again, there’s a distressing trend—people from all over the universe and time show up because they’ve been told that Constance Verity is going to destroy the universe, and they’re going to stop her. The assassins are plentiful enough that Connie’s getting nervous—so she does what she can to keep her loved ones safe and then sets out to see why people are saying she’s going to destroy the universe. All she’s ever done is save it, why would she change?

A Plethora of Ideas

Connie had a problem with Nebraska. And that problem was that it was too close to Kansas.

Kansas, where dark gods waited to rise from their forgotten tombs and bring about the extinction of mankind.

Kansas, where all time travel led to a black void where a pale, wizened figure would greet you, playing a banjo and singing endless choruses of “Achy Breaky Heart.”

Kansas, where Connie had come the closest to death on more than one occasion.

Kansas, her kryptonite.

In a sentence or two—or five brief paragraphs in the above quotation—Martinez is able to tell a whole story—or at least hint at one. Most of these little stories could be fodder for a novella or a novel, but in this trilogy, they’re given anywhere from a sentence fragment to a page. And then he moves on to something else so the plot can be advanced.

Every A. Lee Martinez novel has a surfeit of ideas that come flying at you, that’s nothing new. But I think in these Constance Verity novels that he’s outdone himself. Martinez treats these all as throw-away remarks, with no real investment of time on the reader’s part. But it has to be the kind of thing that would drive your average novelist to exhaustion just trying to come up with them all.

You get just a taste of a fantastic adventure or death-defying feat that Connie’s pulled off (frequently with Tia at her side) in these. You add enough of these together and you really start to see all the things that Constance has done and you understand how much is riding on her successes and how she’s become a legendary figure throughout the universe.

Sorry, Desiderius Erasmus Roterodamus*

It probably says something about the way my brain works that my favorite writing on Free Will vs. Determinism comes from Science Fiction—particularly those prone to a comedic tone. Okay, it says a lot about me, but that’s for another time.

Constance Verity Destroys the Universe plays with those ideas a lot—even knowing (after being told repeatedly from reliable sources) that she’s going to destroy the Universe, Connie refuses to believe it and flat out says she won’t. This idea is treated with derision by some (rightly) and supported and echoed by others (also, rightly). The mostly retired demigoddess of destiny that has moved into Connie’s apartment building cannot muster up the desire to weigh in on this, and of anyone, you’d think she’d have a lot to say about it.

I’m not saying that I think Martinez has penned a well-developed treatise on the idea in the middle of this SF/Fantasy Action novel—I’m just saying he has a lot of fun playing with the idea and that anyone who enjoys that sort of thing will find the Free Will vs. Determinism discussion a tasty side dish to accompany the SF/Fantasy entree.

* Okay, not really sorry.

So, what did I think about Constance Verity Destroys the Universe?

“I don’t have a lot of other leads, and if there’s one thing I know, it’s that when in doubt, point myself toward the nearest adventure and let it work itself out.”

I hate that this volume is the end of the road for this trilogy—but I’m not sure what else he could accomplish in this world. When the series started, Connie was an adventurer/savior-of-the-universe wanting a normal life and being unable to; and we wrap up things up with her finding her own brand of normal, which she’ll be able to enjoy if she survives the assassination attempts and doesn’t destroy the universe. That’s a pretty decent arc.

I think I like the arc that her side-kick/best friend Tia goes on a smidge better, but that might be because Tia’s a bit more relatable to those of us not burdened with cosmic destiny. Either way, it’s a good run.

The ending of this is perfect on several levels—exactly how a novel (or a series) like this should end.

Could you read this apart from the other two novels? Yeah, I suppose. But I don’t think it’d be a great stand-alone, but you could get away with it. Why you’d want to, I don’t know—the first two books in the series are a blast.

On Twitter and his blog, Martinez will insist that he doesn’t write humor or comedy, that he’s not that satirical. I’m not so sure, but let’s take him at his word. His SF/Fantasy adventures (this one and all his others) are so funny that you can see why people would make that mistake. But when you ignore the humor, you get a very satisfying SF/Fantasy story that takes tropes and themes you’re very familiar with and presents them to you in a way that makes you see them with fresh eyes and frequently makes you re-evaluate the trope/theme to come at it with a new appreciation. If you happen to chuckle along the way, consider that a bonus.

Obviously, I recommend Constance Verity Destroys the Universe to you—and everything else Martinez has penned. Thank me later (if you remember to).

4 Stars

This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase from it, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, opinions are my own.

BOOK SPOTLIGHT: The Ventifact Colossus by Dorian Hart

By HCNewton

On March 30, 2022

In Book Tour, Fantasy, Fiction

I’m very pleased and excited today to welcome The Write Reads Blog Tour for Dorian Hart’s The Ventifact Colossus. Unlike the the bloggers whose posts about it are found at https://twitter.com/WriteReadsTours, I didn’t have time to read or write about it. Still, I wanted to spread the word a bit.

Book Details:

Book Title: The Ventifact Colossus by Dorian Hart
Series: The Heroes of Spira, Book 1
Publisher: Jester Hat Books
Release date: January 7, 2016
Format: Paperback/Ebook
Length: 344 pages

Book Blurb:

A tale of epic fantasy begins…

Banished to an otherworldly prison for centuries, the monstrous Emperor Naradawk is about to break free and wreak havoc upon the world of Spira. The archmage Abernathy can no longer keep the monster at bay, and has summoned a collection of would-be heroes to help set things right.

Surely he made a mistake. These can’t be the right people.

Dranko is priest-turned-pickpocket, expelled from his church for his antics. Kibilhathur is a painfully shy craftsman who speaks to stones. Aravia is a wizard’s apprentice whose intellect is eclipsed only by her arrogance. Ernest is a terrified baker’s son. Morningstar is a priestess forbidden from daylight. Tor is a young nobleman with attention issues. Ysabel is an elderly farm woman. Grey Wolf is a hard-bitten mercenary.

None of them are qualified to save the world, but they’ll have to do. Even Abernathy himself seems uncertain as to why he chose them.

What starts with a simple scouting mission soon spirals into something more far-reaching and sinister. The heroes will contest with dream warriors, evil cultists, sentient gemstones, and a devious yet infuriatingly polite gentleman with a perfect mustache, on their way to a desperate encounter with the unstoppable: The Ventifact Colossus.

Book Links:

Amazon US ~ Amazon UK ~ Goodreads

About the Author:

Dorian Hart graduated from Wesleyan University with a degree in creative writing. This led circuitously to a 20-year career as a video game designer, where he contributed to many award-winning titles including Thief, System Shock, System Shock 2 and BioShock. He is also the author of the interactive novella Choice of the Star Captain.

Dorian now lives in the Boston area with his fantastic wife and two clever daughters. When not serving as house chef and chauffeur, he works on the kinds of novels he’s been itching to write since he was ten years old.

Author Links:

Website ~ Twitter

My thanks to The Write Reads for the invitation to participate in this tour and the materials they provided.

The Part About the Dragon Was (Mostly) True by Sean Gibson: A Hilarious Fantasy Filled with Adventure and Shenanigans. Definitely Shenanigans.

By HCNewton

On March 14, 2022

In Fantasy, Fiction, Humor

The Part About the Dragon Was (Mostly) True

by Sean Gibson

DETAILS:
Publisher: The Parliament House
Publication Date: December 10, 2020
Format: Kindle Edition
Length: 358 pg.
Read Date: March 10-12, 2022

I am, if not the most well-known bard in Erithea (yet), arguably the most talented, and unarguably the cleverest. I also wouldn’t quibble if you suggested that I’m the most beautiful, but that’s just because I’m very agreeable (and beautiful)…

Decades ago, I was sworn to secrecy regarding the true story of the great and terrible “Dragonia,” but recent developments have released me from that promise, and so I can finally tell the tale.

What’s The Part About the Dragon Was (Mostly) True About?

This is that true story about Dragonia, told alongside the “official” account so the reader can see how the details were adjusted and tweaked to create the story everyone knows.

The town (or village, depending on who you ask) of Skendrick is being terrorized by a dragon—crops are being ruined, trade is disrupted, and the town is about to fall apart. Desperate, they put out a call for adventurers to come and kill the dragon. But they get no takers—so they go to Plan B. The villagers (or townspeople) pool their meager resources to hire a bard. This bard is to compose a song to make the attempt to kill the dragon sound appealing enough—and its treasure (which may or may not actually exist) enticing enough—to get a band of adventurers to come.

This is where Heloise comes in. She takes the gig and soon gets a new and yet unaccomplished band of adventurers to take up the call to action. I don’t want to get into describing the group, you want to meet them in the book.

They encounter difficulties from without and within; nasty, malodorous geography; orcs and other creatures; and, well, the dragon.

Heloise the Bard

“You’re not half as funny as you think you are, as I suspect you have a very high opinion of yourself.”

“My opinion of myself is in direct proportion to my amazingness,” I said sweetly.

The half-elf, Heloise the Bard is our narrator—as you can tell from the quotations above, she has a fairly high opinion of herself and her abilities. She’s also rather impressed with her hair and certain other physical attributes. Probably her greatest skill is self-promotion.

She decides to accompany the adventurers, to chronicle their journey and the outcome of their clash with the dragon. Her wit and quick thinking prove valuable to their effort and her particular set of skills make all the difference.

She is a hoot. It’d be easy for Heloise to be an annoying, over-the-top character, but somehow Gibson keeps her as an entertaining, over-the-top character. I’ve been trying to come up with a character to compare her to, and I’m failing. Maybe she’s the Fantasy version of Evanovich’s Lula, except Heloise has the skills that Lula thinks she has. Maybe she’s the equivalent of High Fidelity‘s Barry. Somewhere in the Venn Diagram featuring Fantasy, Lula, and Barry, I guess.

She appears in a couple of other books by Gibson, and I’m eager to spend some more time with her.

The Humor

The section could easily be merged with the previous one because the humor displayed in the book is primarily Heloise’s. The jokes are pretty much non-stop—even in the middle of fight scenes, or when death is nigh. The danger is still present, and the combat (and so on) is as deadly as it would be in another book—it’s just surrounded by laughs.

It didn’t take me long before I’d highlighted too many lines to quote—not that it stopped me from going on. My notes on this one are ridiculous. I kept chuckling throughout the reading. I probably would’ve finished the book in 2/3 the time, if reacting to the jokes didn’t make me stop reading for a moment.

If you’ve read The Tales of Pell, you’ve got a good idea for the pace of the jokes—and tone of the book, too.

There’s slapstick, there’s scatological humor, a great Meatloaf (the singer) line, some fantastic bursts of alliteration for the sake of a laugh, some general silliness, clever dialogue, and…honestly, I’m having a hard time thinking of a kind of humor that’s not in there. There’s a running gag (that I’ve alluded to) throughout about whether Skendrick is a town or a village—I can’t tell you how often it’s brought up. And the joke works every time—I should’ve gotten sick of it, and I never did. I don’t know how Gibson pulled that off, but that alone is the mark of a fantastic humor writer.

In addition to The Tales of Pell, if you’ve enjoyed Christopher Healy, Dave Barry, K.R.R. Lockhaven, Peter David, Scott Meyer, Joe Zieja, Jim C. Hines’ Jig the Goblin series, or John Scalzi—you’re going to dig the humor here. And if you dig the humor, you’re going to really enjoy the book. It’s that simple.

So, what did I think about The Part About the Dragon Was (Mostly) True?

You know by this point that one of my main goals in telling this story is to show that the adventuring life isn’t all it’s thought to be. It’s mostly boring, frustrating, dangerous (though not excitingly dangerous), smelly (dear gods, so smelly), and not particularly lucrative. Occasionally, however, it’s exactly how the songs make it sound, and in those moments, it’s easy to see why people—even smart, capable people like Nadi—would devote their lives to doing something so irrational. Let the record show that entering a dragon’s lair for the first time is one of those moments, and it’s fair to say that each member of our intrepid band experienced more than a frisson of excitement as we crept across that threshold.

I think it’s pretty clear that I had a blast with this book, but I should probably make that explicit. I had a blast reading this book.

I think I should not that this is not a book to read if you’re in a “find out what happened and get to the end of the story” frame of mind. This is a “enjoy the trip, not the destination”/”stop and smell the roses” kind of book. The destination/what happens is fully satisfying, but the getting-there is so much better.

In addition to the jokes and the dragon, there is a running commentary on what “the adventuring life” is like outside of the glamorous or exciting bits. A lot of fantasy novels will show bits of it, but not enough of them do—and most don’t do it this way. For example, The Part About the Dragon Was (Mostly) True contains more description of various odors than every 99% of the fantasy novels I’ve read by a significant factor. If this were a scratch and sniff book…well, I can’t imagine anyone would stock it—you just don’t want that in your warehouse/store. Sure, it’s silly talking about realism in a book featuring orcs, halflings, elves, etc.—but this factor does ground the book and give it a seriousness (for lack of a better term) that makes this more than a collection of jokes.

This is the funniest book I’ve read in 2022, and I can’t imagine it’ll face much competition. It’s got it all, go get your hands on it.

4 Stars

This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase from it, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, opinions are my own.

The Friday 56 for 3/11/22: The Part About the Dragon Was (Mostly) True by Sean Gibson

By HCNewton

On March 11, 2022

In Currently Reading, Fantasy, News/Misc., Quotations, The Friday 56

This is a weekly bloghop hosted by Freda’s Voice.

RULES:
The Friday 56 Grab a book, any book.
Turn to Page 56 or 56% on your ereader. If you have to improvise, that is okay.
Find a snippet, short and sweet.
Post it

from Page 56 of:
The Part About the Dragon Was (Mostly) True

The Part About the Dragon Was (Mostly) True by Sean Gibson

If this were a performance and I were describing Borden, I’d probably call it tranquil and idyllic, but those are really just polite ways of saying boring and filled with lazy people, and since I don’t need to be polite here, I’ll say this: Borden is a boring place full of lazy, and frequently chauvinistic, people….

Suffice it to say, Borden’s not exactly a star-making destination for bards on the rise, but it does consistently offer gigs with solid pay, so if I’m in the region, I make it a point to stop over for a night or two. Around the time the people of Skendrick were so desperately seeking assistance with their little dragon problem, I was in the middle of a two-night stint at Big Bob’s, the nicest tavern in Borden, which is a little bit like saying it’s the least drunk sailor in a dockside bar. Still, the disappointingly regular-sized Robert, the proprietor and namesake of the establishment, didn’t ogle me, paid performers well, and at least had a decent selection of ales, so it was my preferred stop when I was in Borden.

Quest (Audiobook) by A.J. Ponder, Benjamin Fife (Narrator): A Lighter Fantasy Adventure with a Princess Set to Save a City

By HCNewton

On March 1, 2022

In Audiobook, Book Tour, Fantasy

Quest

by A.J. Ponder, Benjamin Fife (Narrator)

DETAILS:
Series: The Sylvalla Chronicles, Book 1
Publisher: Phantom Feather Press
Publication Date: December 15, 2021
Format: Unabridged Audiobook
Length: 8 hrs., 1 min.
Read Date: February 24-25, 2022

What’s Quest About?

Sylvalla is being raised the way most fantasy princesses should—but she’s not all that interested in the finery and culture. She has fire in her and ambition—she wants to be a Hero (with a capital H) and sneaks out of the castle to pursue her dreams and find a Quest so she can get that title, even if it causes problems with the one she already has. I couldn’t help but think of Princess Eilonwy daughter of Angharad, daughter of Regat of the Royal House of Llyr, just without being hampered by an Assistant Pig-Keeper.

Dirk is one of the many swordsmen out to find her and return her for the bounty. He’s also one of the fiercest swordsmen around and has a long list of people he’s promised to kill the next time he sees them. He’s technically a Hero, but there’s little heroic about him. He finds himself Sylvalla’s sworn servant before too long and ends up accompanying her instead of bringing her home.

Meanwhile, Capro Goodfellow a wizard of small repute has just turned 150 and continues to try to get his son interested in wizardry. Jonathan’s much more drawn to the commercial life, buying and selling—and profiting from both. But you know what they say about wizards being subtle, a vision about Sylvalla gives Capro a chance to involve Jonathan in something bigger than capitalism.

Eventually, these four end up in the same place at the same time, and Sylvalla gets her chance—can she take advantage of it? Will any of them survive it?

Yeah, There Was Another Thing

There was another storyline and another group of characters that I didn’t mention. They were interesting enough, and the characters and story had potential, but I think they were squandered. I kept wondering how the book would’ve ended up had Ponder not bothered with this and had spent the space deepening the others instead.

That said, I can absolutely see where this storyline is going to pay off in a further installment of The Sylvalla Chronicle. But for now, it felt like a poor use of space and imagination.

How was the Narration?

Fife did an acceptable job—there were some really strong moments. But there were a few times when the accent he was using didn’t work (words he didn’t know how to pronounce with a British accent, for example). When I read on his website that he comes from the same state as I do, some of that made a lot more sense to me. Also, there wasn’t enough variation in his tone of voice or pacing, which got a little old after a while and made it difficult to focus (that also could be a function of how tired I was, I grant—perhaps the combination).

That comes across as more critical than I intended it to be—Fife was very strong when handling dialogue for his characters, and caught the tone of the book well. I could’ve used just a little more.

So, what did I think about Quest?

This was a light, fun fantasy story in a similar vein to A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking by T. Kingfisher and Sir Thomas the Hesitant and the Table of Less Valued Knights by Liam Perrin (to name a couple of recently discussed books here)—Ponder’s not looking to satirize the genre, just looking to tell a fun story within it. Which isn’t to say there’s no meat to it, by any means. I simply wanted a little more from the two main storylines, but that’s likely just me.

I really liked Sylvalla as a character and enjoyed her arc through this—the same, to a lesser degree, for Capro and Dirk. I even came around to liking Jonathan—I enjoyed his arc throughout, even if I spent most of the book wanting someone to give him a swift kick in the pants.

A quick hit of fantasy that will bring a grin to your face, Quest is one to check out. Given how things wrap up, I imagine the rest of her Chronicles will deliver more of the same, too.

This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase from it, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, opinions are my own.

My thanks to Love Books Group for the invitation to participate in this Tour and the materials (including the audiobook) they provided.

BOOK SPOTLIGHT: BOOK SPOTLIGHT: Quest (Audiobook) by A.J. Ponder, Benjamin Fife (Narrator)

By HCNewton

On March 1, 2022

In Audiobook, Book Tour, Fantasy, Fiction

This morning I’m pleased to welcome the Book Tour for A.J. Ponder and Benjamin Fife’s audiobook Quest. In a little bit here, I’ll be posting my take on the audiobook, but for now, let’s learn a little about the book.

Book Details:

Book Title: Quest by A.J. Ponder, Benjamin Fife (Narrator)
Series: The Sylvalla Chronicles
Publisher: Phantom Feather Press
Release date: December 15, 2021
Format: Ebook/Paperback/Audiobook
Length: 302 pages/ 8 hrs., 1 min.

About the Book:

Sylvalla escapes Avondale castle and the life of a princess, in search of the adventure she’s always wanted – but once found, adventure bites back.

Fortunately, she is not alone. Unfortunately, her new-found companions are less than heroic. Jonathan would rather make money. Dirk would rather live a long and happy life. And at 150, old Capro would rather stop gallivanting, and harangue unsuspecting wizardry students about his glory days over a nice cup of tea.

Quest has everything; monsters, chases, escapes and a complete lack of true love. Discover Quest by A.J. Ponder and rediscover fantasy.

Purchase Links:

Amazon ~ Universal Link ~ Goodreads ~ Book Bub

About the Author:

USA Today Bestselling author, A.J. Ponder has a head full of monsters, and recklessly spills them onto the written page. Beware dragons, dreadbeasts, taniwha, and small children—all are equally dangerous, and capable of treading on your heart—or tearing it, still beating, from your chest.

About the Narrator:

Benjamin Fife has always had a passion for learning. With a mind that remembers all sorts of numbers and useless trivia, he regularly wins local radio shows and enjoys confusing people with sci-fi quotes. Fife grew up in Southeast Idaho. He attended college at Idaho State University, where he met his future wife in their music theory class. They have been married nearly 20 years and now have six children and a whole menagerie of animals.

My thanks to Love Books Group for the invitation to participate in this Tour.

Dead Man in a Ditch (Audiobook) by Luke Arnold: A Murdered Elf, An Old Friend, and a Hint of Magic

By HCNewton

On February 21, 2022

In Audiobook, Fantasy, Fiction, Mystery/Detective Fiction/Crime Fiction/Thriller

Dead Man in a Ditch

by Luke Arnold

DETAILS:
Series: The Fetch Phillips Archives, #2
Publisher: Orbit
Publication Date: October 9, 2020
Format: Unabridged Audiobook
Length:  11 hrs., 51 min.
Read Date: February 11-15, 2022

What’s Dead Man in a Ditch About?

Fetch, Man for Hire, has two clients/cases this time out.

First, the police want his help—they have a corpse that appears to have been killed by magic. They’re not broadcasting this idea, but that’s the best theory they have. They figure this is more up Fetch’s alley than theirs, they can’t officially hire him, but they’ll make sure that there’s a solid reward ready for him if he can bring them answers.

The other case involves an older elf—her husband is missing, and is probably dead. She wants Fetch to figure out who killed him—even better, if Fetch can tell her why there are debt collectors from the wrong side of the tracks sniffing around…

There’s not a lot of overlap in these cases, beyond the suggestion that there’s still a little magic in the world, despite what everyone knows/assumes. Maybe this time Fetch will find the thing everyone wants.

Too On the Nose

There’s a lot of material that’s a commentary on the presence, use, and abuse of guns in the real world. Arnold was not subtle at all—I’m not saying he should’ve been, but it would’ve been a bit easier to take if he had. I really don’t like authors taking a moment to do a PSA for whatever their cause is in the middle of a book.

Now, if they can work it in subtly? I don’t mind, in fact, I’m frequently impressed by it (whether or not I agree with them). But this was a tad too blatant for me.

The Narration

There’s got to be an advantage in narrating the audiobook for your own novel—you know how the strange names are pronounced already, you know exactly what tone is called for in each scene, and so on. On the other hand, you probably have to resist the impulse to do one more edit on each passage.

If you happen to be a pretty experienced actor, that has to be all the better.

Basically, I’m saying that Arnold is a perfect narrator for this and he did a bang-up job of it.

So, what did I think about Dead Man in a Ditch?

I thought I liked this novel more than the first in the series—I actually still do, but I’m rating this lower (I would like to ask 2020 me a couple of questions). Focusing on the present, even if the past looms large over the present, allows Fetch’s cases to mean more and be developed in a better, fuller sense.

I’m intrigued by the direction that Fetch seemed to be headed at the end here (although, I kind of thought that’s where he was headed already), but let’s never mind that.

I loved Fetch’s inner monologues, the voice is fantastic and I could listen/read it all day. I’m not quite as on board with the story—it’s good, just slow. Still, I’m glad I listened to this, and expect most fantasy/PI fans will be, too—particularly if they’re fans of both genres.

I’m just going to repeat what I said last time, because it still applies (maybe more than last time). Do I recommend this book? Oh yeah. You’ll probably like it more than I did (I’m a little worried about hitting “publish” on this, as I know I’m one of the less enthusiastic readers of this). And even if you don’t, you’ll be just as impressed as I am with Arnold’s imagination and skill.

3.5 Stars

This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase from it, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, opinions are my own.

Ohh, right…Peter Jackson Knew What He Was Doing (thoughts inspired by The Fellowship of the Rings Audiobook)

By HCNewton

On February 17, 2022

In Audiobook, Fantasy, Fiction

So I’m listening to the audiobook for The Fellowship of the Rings right now, and I spent some time today on the Tom Bombadil section—sooo much time (my rough estimate is 96 minutes).

I remember the first time I went through the book wondering what the purpose of all that time in the book was, but assumed I didn’t just didn’t get something, or that there’d be a payoff by the end of The Return of the King. I was curious about how the movies would handle that portion, but eventually, I shrugged it off and forgot about it. I remembered it when I walked out of the movie, thinking, “Hey, they left that bit out!”* and “good move.”

* After The Hobbit trilogy, it is hard to think of Jackson leaving things out, but it was something he did once upon a time.

Now I know that I’m not alone in not appreciating the Bombadil bits, and I can understand some of the defenses. Understand, but don’t buy them. I just don’t see the point of almost everything that happens for that hour and a half. (Feel free to tell my why I’m wrong!!) That said, Serkis almost made this bit tolerable. Almost.

That said, there have been some good things to come out of that character, and I figured I’d take the opportunity to boost the signal on them, since I’ve been thinking about them while listening to this part of the book. For example:

bullet The song, “In The House of Tom Bombadil” by Nickel Creek, which I could (and have) listen to on repeat for the better part of an hour.

bullet A few strips from the Sheldon comic by Dave Kellett (he may have others, but these are what I can find):
bullet CONVENTIONS!!!
bullet Support Group for Lame Sci-Fi and Fantasy Characters
bullet What Else Did We Miss from “The Lord of the Rings”?
bullet More Tom! More Tom! (meeting Lewis and Tolkein while time-travelling)
bullet Tra-la-lee!

All these are available in Pop Culture!…Building a Better Tomorrow by Avoiding Today by Dave Kellett, one of my favorite comic collections from the last few years.

I really don’t have a point or anything, just needed to do something in response to the Tom Bombadil experience.

A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking (Audiobook) by T. Kingfisher, Patricia Santomasso: If You’ve Ever Wondered How to Weaponize a Sourdough Starter, I’ve Got Just the Book for You

By HCNewton

On February 10, 2022

In Audiobook, Fantasy, YA/MG/Children's Books

A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking

by T. Kingfisher, Patricia Santomasso (Narrator)

DETAILS:
Publisher: Tantor Audio
Publication Date: October 11, 2021
Format: Unabridged Audiobook
Length: 8 hrs., 30 min.
Read Date: February 2-3, 2022

If you have ever prepared for a siege in two days, then you know what the next few days were like. If you haven’t, then you probably don’t. Well…a big formal wedding is about the same (and because we do cakes, I’ve been on the periphery of a few), except that if things go wrong in a siege you’ll all die horribly, and in formal weddings, the stakes are much higher.

What’s A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking About?

Mona’s a 14-year-old orphan, working in her aunt’s bakery. She’s also a magic-user. Her forte is magic involving baked goods and dough. Sure, that seems like an odd thing to have as a focus of one’s magic abilities, but in this world, it really isn’t. One of Mona’s acquaintances can reanimate dead horses. Nothing else, just dead horses. I guess what I’m saying is that atypical magical specializations are typical for this world.

Mona isn’t exactly a powerhouse either, she possesses enough magic to do a few tricks (making gingerbread men dance) and give a little extra something to her baking—her aunt won’t let her rest on that and actually has to learn to be a good baker while she’s at it.

Despite not being that powerful, Mona finds herself targeted by someone who seems to be killing every mage they can find. One thing leads to another, as they tend to do, and soon Mona finds herself at the forefront of an effort to defend her Duchess and their city-state against an invading army.

Caveat Lector (or Auditor)

The very best thing about being a baker is watching somebody bite into a blueberry muffin or a fresh slice of sourdough dripping with butter and seeing them close their eyes and savor the taste. You’re making their lives better, just a little tiny bit.

You know the rule, never go grocery shopping when you’re hungry? That applies to this book, too. The number of breads, pastries, cookies, and other assorted baked goods described and celebrated in these pages is unusually high for a fantasy novel. But probably about par for a novel with the word “baking” in the title. If you’re hungry—especially if you’ve been restricting carbs for whatever reason—you’re going to be in trouble.

This is not a reason to avoid the book, it’s just a friendly heads up. Eat well before diving in, or have some good snacks on hand.

Patricia Santomasso

This isn’t one of those audiobooks where I’m going to say that the narration elevated the text—Kingfisher’s prose doesn’t need it. But I can easily imagine her doing that for other books.

That said, her narration practically oozes charm. I could’ve listened for twice as long and been just as entertained with her work. She infused Mona with the right combination of timidity, determination, and spunk (and, sure, fear) to bring her to life in the narration.

So, what did I think about A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking?

I’d picked this book up a handful of times over the last year or so, but hadn’t found the time to work it in. Then my library added the audiobook to their digital collection and that took care of that issue. I really should’ve made the time for this last year (or the year before).

In very many ways this was a pretty standard fantasy story, and most of the story beats were just what you’d think they would be. But I didn’t care about that for a second. The execution is what counts—and Kingfisher’s execution won the day. Add in the very different magic system (or at least a very different application of a magic system) and you’ve got yourself a humdinger.

A Wizard’s Guide had heart, charm, and humor—it wasn’t non-stop jokes, but the narrative voice could make you think it was. The moving and affecting parts were moving and affecting, and the rest of the time I was probably grinning. This was a completely entertaining way to spend a few hours, you should check it out.

3.5 Stars

This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase from it, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, opinions are my own.

BOOK SPOTLIGHT: The Broken Heart of Arelium by Alex Robins

By HCNewton

On February 9, 2022

In Book Tour, Fantasy, Fiction

I’m very pleased and excited today to welcome The Write Reads Blog Tour for The Broken Heart of Arelium by Alex Robins. I couldn’t fit this in to my schedule, sadly, but you should absolutely check out some of the posts about it at https://twitter.com/WriteReadsTours. But before you go, let’s learn a little about this book, shall we?

Book Details:

Book Title: The Broken Heart of Arelium by Alex Robins
Release date: March 16, 2021
Format: Paperback/Ebook/Audiobook
Length: 232 pages

Book Blurb:

None can resist the ravages of time. Knowledge is lost. Memories fade.

But some things must never be forgotten.

Over 400 years ago, twelve great warriors united the beleaguered armies of men and scoured the war-torn lands of evil, pushing the enemy back into the underground pits and caverns from whence they came. To ensure their legacy, each of the Twelve founded fortress monasteries to impart their unique knowledge of war and politics to a select few, the Knights of the Twelve.

But now the last of the Twelve have long since passed from history to legend and the Knights, their numbers dwindling, are harbouring a dark and terrible secret that must be protected at all costs.

Merad Reed has spent half his life guarding a great crater known as the Pit, yearning for some escape from the bleak monotony. Then the arrival of Aldarin, one of the few remaining Knights of the Twelve, sets off a chain of cataclysmic events that will change Reed forever.

To the north, Jelaïa del Arelium, heiress to the richest of the nine Baronies, must learn to navigate the swirling political currents of her father’s court if she hopes one day to take his place. But the flickering flames of ambition hide the shadow of an even greater threat.

And deep within the earth, something is stirring.

Book Links:

Amazon ~ Goodreads

About the Author:

Alex Robins was born in Norwich, England back when it was still trendy to wear lycra tracksuits and bright pink headbands. Norwich School Library was where he first discovered his love of reading, an old converted undercroft packed to the rafters with books. The first fantasy series he read was The Dragonlance Chronicles by Margaret Weis & Tracey Hickman, quickly followed by The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and David Eddings’ The Belgariad.

At the age of twelve Alex moved across the channel to Nantes in France. Speaking very little French, the first few years were difficult and sometimes lonely as he scrambled to get a grip on the intricate grammar and vocabulary of the French language. His taste in books branched out from epic fantasy to science-fiction, mysteries, thrillers, and historical fiction, but he always came back to his favourite fantasy authors when looking to escape the outside world.

After degrees in agronomy, project management, and computer sciences, Alex founded his own company dedicated to online voting. He met his wife during a game of badminton and they spent several years getting trounced in various regional tournaments before getting married. Alex now lives in the sunny Loire Valley in western France, surrounded by imposing castles, sprawling vineyards, and two children. After reading fantasy books for the last thirty years he decided to write one. The Broken Heart of Arelium is his first novel, and the first in the War of the Twelve series.

Author Links:

Website ~ Twitter ~ Facebook ~ Goodreads

My thanks to The Write Reads for the invitation to participate in this tour and the materials they provided.