Category: News/Misc. Page 117 of 241

Highlights from May: Lines Worth Repeating

Highlights from the Month
Here’s a collection of my favorite phrases/sentences/paragraphs from last month that I haven’t already used for something. (I will skip most audiobooks, my transcription skills aren’t what they should be. But when I try, the punctuation is just a guess).

Rosebud

Rosebud by Paul Cornell

Haunt has never heard an insect scream before. He doesn’t feel he’s missed out. It’s the sound of whatever Quin has got in that made-up body instead of a mammalian voicebox having a terrible malfunction.

…humans have had many ideas for how to travel beyond the solar system, and some of them might work, even, given enormous time and energy and money. But that’s just it. Humans are, in the end, stupid chimps without the attention span to achieve anything like that. And they’re only just starting to understand that.


The Cartographers

The Cartographer by Peng Shepherd

“I really think you should tell the police sooner rather than later.”

“I will, I will,” Nell replied.

“When?” he urged, a familiar tone slipping into his voice. With a Young, unless you agreed on a firm date to stop working on something, “soon” meant “when I’m satisfied.”

A burst of cool, stale air hit her as soon as she was inside, and Nell sank wistfully into it. It was the smell of ancient pages, of time, of her very soul, if souls could have smells, she thought.

Wally had spent so long repressing his real feelings for Tam, I think he didn’t even know they were there. They were like a phantom limb to him—a thing he’d convinced himself wasn’t real, even though he could still sense its ghost.

I don’t know how it happened—isn’t that what everyone who betrays someone says? But I don’t know how it happened. I just know why.


Revenge Tour

Robert B. Parker’s Revenge Tour by Mike Lupica

“Tell me about it,” I said.

“I’d rather not,” she said.

“Force yourself,” I said.

“We can talk about it after dinner.”

“I can manage both,” I said. “I’m the kind of multitasker that makes young multitaskers aspirational.”

I wasn’t sure what I had expected the great and powerful Richard Gross to look like. But the rather legendary Hollywood power broker, one who had begun his career Out There as a lawyer, looked more like an actor, reminding me somewhat of Michael Douglas. Not the Romancing the Stone Michael Douglas. The older one from Netflix.

I stopped about a half-hour into New York. These turnpike rest areas all looked the same to me, the way shopping malls did. I used the ladies’ room and bought a Coke Zero and a guilty-pleasure Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, knowing that some might say that the combination of candy and a diet soft drink was counterintuitive. I thought of it as establishing a crucial and delicate balance to my personal nutrition.


Nothing to See Here

Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson

I wasn’t destined for greatness; I knew this. But I was figuring out how to steal it from someone stupid enough to relax their grip on it.


This is Going to Hurt

This is Going to Hurt by Adam Kay

Her extremely posh eight-year-old asks her a question about the economy (!), and before she answers it, she asks her extremely posh five-year-old “Do you know what the economy is, darling?”

“Yes mummy, it’s the part of the plane that’s terrible”.

This is how revolutions start.

But it’s a Saturday night and the NHS runs a skeleton service. Actually, that’s unfair on skeletons – it’s more like when they dig up remains of Neolithic Man and reconstruct what he might have looked like from a piece of clavicle and a thumb joint.


Heroic Hearts

Heroic Hearts edited by Jim Butcher and Kerrie L. Hughes

Hero, noun
1. a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities
2. a sandwich

Comfort Zone by Kelley Armstrong

We’ll be fine. Remember, the couple that breaks and enters together goes to prison together.

Fire Hazard by Kevin Hearne

The most important question in this life, I’ve heard it said, is whether you have the sausage to achieve your goals. Sausage being a metaphor for courage, in this case, instead of the many other things it could be, including actual sausage.

It burned with the rage of five grizzly bears on energy drinks fighting to drink the last one of a six-pack.

Silverspell by Chloe Neill

“Are you going to get coffee right now?”

Only if the universe was just.

Little Things by Jim Butcher

My name is Major General Toot-Toot Minimus, sprite in service to Sir Harry Dresden, Knight of the Winter Court and Wizard of Chicago, and captain of his personal guard. When the skies darken with smoke and ash, when wails of wrong and woe rend the night, when my lord goes to war with titans and unspeakable horrors from Outside of reality, someone must protect him from threats too small to readily discern. That is my place: not at my lord’s side, but at his ankles.


Don't Know Tough

Don’t Know Tough by Eli Cranor

I feel drunk, but not the good kind. The kind where you just keep drinking and drinking, and it don’t matter none, just don’t never feel good.

“Trent thinks Billy might be able to get a football scholarship.”

Tina laughs as a semitruck downshifts somewhere out on a highway in the dark, a low, grating sound. “Ain’t nobody talking about no scholarship, Mrs. Powers. We just trying to survive.”

“Survive?”

“Yeah, me and my boys. Sometime it ain’t even death you got to worry about.”

“What could be worse than death?”

“If you don’t know already,” Tina’s lips barely move, “then don’t go asking.”


In a House of Lies

In a House of Lies by Ian Rankin

‘I seem to have picked up a wee dose of COPD.’

‘What’s that when it’s at home?’

‘Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease – known as emphysema in the old days.’

‘Trust you to get something that has the word COP in it.’

‘Aye, I feel like I drew a winning ticket there.’

[Name Withheld] sat with arms folded, alongside his solicitor. The room was stuffy and Dean had removed his jacket but kept his waistcoat on. It boasted a fob watch on a gold chain, just when Rebus thought he couldn’t dislike lawyers more than he already did.

There was so much energy emanating from the various groupings, Rebus could feel it as a physical force, pushing against him. He knew he was looking at the future, but also that the futures these various young people imagined for themselves might not work out the way they hoped. There’d be tears and traumas along the way, mistakes made, promises broken. Sime would marry their sweethearts and live to regret it, Others would break apart. A few would trouble the police in later years. There’d be early deaths from disease and maybe even a suicide or two, Right now, none of that would seem feasible to them, They were alive in and of the moment ~ and that was all that mattered.


(Image by DaModernDaVinci from Pixabay)

WWW Wednesday, June 1, 2022

It’s June 1, and what better way to step into the month than with a WWW Wednesday? These posts are me at my most organized and structured, and it feels really nice to be that way on June 1. A feeling that will last until…maybe 9 pm?

This meme was formerly hosted by MizB at A Daily Rhythm and revived on Taking on a World of Words—and shown to me by Aurore-Anne-Chehoke at Diary-of-a-black-city-girl.

The Three Ws are:

What are you currently reading?
What did you recently finish reading?
What do you think you’ll read next?

Easy enough, right?

What are you currently reading?

I’m reading the coming-of-age novel, Dirt Road Home by Alexander Nader, and I’m listening to Attachments by Rainbow Rowell, Rebecca Lowman (Narrator) on audiobook.

Dirt Road HomeBlank SpaceAttachments

What did you recently finish reading?

I just finished Joanne Jackson’s A Snake in the Raspberry Patch, a tale of small-town Canadian crime. I also just finished the third faux-True Crime, A Line to Kill by Anthony Horowitz, Rory Kinnear (Narrator) on audio.

A Snake in the Raspberry PatchBlank SpaceA Line to Kill

What do you think you’ll read next?

My next book should be Crazy in Poughkeepsie by Daniel Pinkwater, which promises to be a burst of oddness and light, and my next audiobook should be Gated Prey by Lee Goldberg, Nicol Zanzarella (Narrator).

Crazy in PoughkeepsieBlank SpaceGated Prey

How are you kicking off the Summer?

May 2022 in Retrospect: What I Read/Listened to/Wrote About

The quick-and-dirty version of this post is: I read or listened to 24, with 3,878+ pages or the equivalent (there was an Audible Original there, so the page equivalent would be 250-350 more), and the average rating was 3.58. Not a spectacular month, but a good one. Quicker-and-dirtier version: I read Don’t Know Tough this month, along with a few other (mostly good) things—it was a good month.

It was also an ambitious month on the writing front—hopefully, that continues.

Enough with the preamble, here’s what happened here in May:
Books/Novels/Novellas Read/Listened to

The Knave of Secrets Rosebud Tuesday Mooney Talks To Ghosts
3 Stars 2 1/2 Stars 3.5 Stars
The Cartographers Repentance Funny Farm
4 1/2 Stars 3 Stars 3 Stars
Revenge Tour Right Behind Her Lifesign
3.5 Stars 3.5 Stars 3.5 Stars
Conjured Defense The Doctrine of Scripture The Traitor's Heir
3.5 Stars 4 Stars 3 Stars
Nothing to See Here This is Going to Hurt Heroic Hearts
4 Stars 3.5 Stars 4 Stars
Augustine of Hippo Don't Know Tough Magic Kingdom for Sale–Sold!
3.5 Stars 5 Stars 3.5 Stars
Jacked Black Nerd Problems In a House of Lies
3 Stars 4 Stars 4 Stars
What Is Christianity? A Line to Kill A Snake in the Raspberry Patch
4 1/2 Stars 3 Stars Still Deciding

Still Reading

The Story Retold Faith & Life You Are Not Your Own
Attachments

Ratings

5 Stars 1 2 1/2 Stars 1
4 1/2 Stars 2 2 Stars 0
4 Stars 5 1 1/2 Stars 0
3.5 Stars 9 1 Star 0
3 Stars 6
Average = 3.58

TBR Stacks/Piles/Heaps

Audio E-book Physical Goodreads
Want-to-Read
End of
2021
9 45 42 144
1st of the
Month
6 45 42 144
Added 3 9 3 1
Read/
Listened
3 2 5 4
Current Total 6 53 40 141

Breakdowns:
“Traditionally” Published: 19
Self-/Independent Published: 5

Genre This Month Year to Date
Children’s 0 (0%) 1 (1%)
Fantasy 4 (17%) 15 (14%)
General Fiction/ Literature 2 (8%) 6 (6%)
Mystery/ Suspense/ Thriller 9 (38%) 43 (39%)
Non-Fiction 3 (13%) 11 (10%)
Science Fiction 1 (4%) 9 (8%)
Theology/ Christian Living 4 (17%) 17 (16%)
Urban Fantasy 1 (4%) 12 (11%)
“Other” (Horror/ Humor/ Steampunk/ Western) 0 (0%) 1 (1%)

Review-ish Things Posted

Other Things I Wrote
Other than the Saturday Miscellanies (7th, 14th, 21st, and 28th), I also wrote:


Enough about me—how Was Your Month?

May Calendar

Book Blogger Hop: Reading on a Kindle App?

Book Blogger Hop

 

This prompt was submitted by Elizabeth @ Silver’s Reviews:

Do you use the Kindle app on your phone or iPad for reading e-books?

Primarily, I use my phone’s Kindle app to look up/verify a quotation or character name, etc. I really don’t like reading things longer than a typical Facebook post on my phone.

But if I’m stuck somewhere waiting for something and didn’t think to bring a book/would’ve caused problems to walk in with a book, sure. That includes:
bullet Doctors’ waiting rooms
bullet Long lines at a gas station/car wash
bullet Hospital labs
bullet School orchestra concerts (when my kids weren’t on stage)
bullet Jiffy Lube/Tire Shop waiting rooms
bullet School plays (only during intermission or before it started, I promise!)
bullet Family get-togethers
bullet That one time when I forgot my wallet when I took my wife out for her birthday, so she drove home and back so we could pay for dinner…

There was one time when I was stuck somewhere for a couple of hours without my Kindle and I finished my paper books, so I had no choice.

Huh. I guess when you look at it like that, yeah, I guess I do use my phone app to read. This ended up going somewhere I didn’t expect when I started.

What about you?

20 Books of Summer 2022: Kickoff

20 Books of Summer
Cathy at 746 Books is hosting 20 Books of Summer again. This challenge has been fun the last couple of years, and has proved to be a good way for me to actually read some of those “I need to read those one day” books. I’m being very ambitious this year with some of my selections, but some of those are pulling double-duty and are taking care of another reading challenge, too. It’s going to be an actual challenge to get all of these read, but I think I’m up for it. It’s a little risky with two trilogies and three books from another new-to-me series—I could end up really disliking myself, but I really want to clean up some of my shelves, you know?

I’m going with the unofficial US Dates for Summer—Memorial Day to Labor Day (today through September 5th), just because it’s easier for me to think that way. And I’ve needed those first few days of September the last two years, but let’s not think about that. Well, I say I’m starting today, but it’s going to be next Tuesday at the earliest that I get to read one of these books…proper planning and all that…

This summer, my 20 are going to be:

1. The Deepest Grave by Harry Bingham
2. Condemned by R.C. Bridgstock
3. Payback by R.C. Bridgstock
4. Persecution by R.C. Bridgstock
5. AMORALMAN: A True Story and Other Lies by Derek DelGaudio
6. Against All Odds by Jeffery H. Haskell
7. One Decisive Victory by Jeffery H. Haskell
8. With Grimm Resolve by Jeffery H. Haskell
9. A World Without Whom: The Essential Guide to Language in the Buzzfeed Age by Emmy J. Favilla
10. Composite Creatures by Caroline Hardaker
11. Divine and Conquer by J.C. Jackson
12. Mortgaged Mortality by J.C. Jackson
13. The Ghost Machine by James Lovegrove
14. Roses for the Dead by Chris McDonald
15. A Wash of Black by Chris McDonald
16. Whispers in the Dark by Chris McDonald
17. Down the River unto the Sea by Walter Mosely
18. Crazy in Poughkeepsie by Daniel Pinkwater
19. Ghost of a Chance by Dan Willis
20. The Border by Don Winslow

(subject to change, as is allowed, but I’m going to resist the impulse to tweak as much as I can).
20 Books of Summer '22 Chart

Saturday Miscellany—5/28/22

Tomorrow will be the ninth anniversary of starting this little project, as hard as that is to believe. I remain surprised and thankful that anyone but me pays any kind of attention to it. If you are reading these words, thank you.

Odds ‘n ends about books and reading that caught my eye this week. You’ve probably seen some/most/all of them, but just in case:
bullet What do you do with books you don’t want any more?—this piece by James Colley is the perfect follow-up to last week’s stories about keeping/getting rid of books. Must be something in the air.
bullet Why Do All Books Suddenly Look the Same?—worth it for the line/picture about Stryve jerky (which is a pretty nice jerky, incidentally)
bullet What Really Distinguishes a Crime Novel? Megan Abbott, S.A. Cosby, Laura Lippman, and Ace Atkins share their thoughts with Polly Stewart.
bullet Travel and Reading: A Vacation in Pages
bullet 5 Authors And Their Inspiring Rags To Riches Journey—I’m not sure about “inspiring,” interesting maybe…
bullet How Do You Track Your Reading? Or Do You Track Your Reading?—Reading Ladies Book Club tackles the Goodreads vs. Story Graph discussion
bullet The Bookaholic Bex Guide to Book Blogging
bullet The importance of book reviews
bullet I’ve Accepted That Publishers Aren’t That Interested in Book Bloggers

A Book-ish Related Podcast episode (or two) you might want to give a listen to:
bullet Blood Brothers Episode 93 with Adrian McKinty—McKinty takes over the podcast this week, and graciously allows the hosts to make a comment or two. Like anytime McKinty gets on a microphone, it’s a blast.
bullet Under a Pile of Books Episode 92 – May 20 Weekly Pod—It’s good to see Calvin Park back in action.

This Week’s New Releases that I’m Excited About and/or You’ll Probably See Here Soon:
bullet Dance Among the Flames by Tori Eldridge—a “dark journey into Brazilian mysticism about a desperate mother who rises from the slums to embrace Quimbanda magic amid her quest for the ultimate revenge.”

Lastly, I’d like to say hi and extend a warm welcome to Suzanna and Becky’s Book Blog who followed the blog this week.
Want to Read

The Last Book I… Book Tag

The Last Book I...  Book Tag
I recently saw this tag both at Read Betwixt Words and Becky’s Book Blog and it looked fun.

Last Book I Bought

The Judgement Book by Simon Hall

This is the fourth book in The TV Detective/Dan Groves Investigates series–I loved the first two books in the series and somehow haven’t managed to read book 3, Evil Valley. Hopefully owning this one will be the kick in the pants I need.

title


Last Book I Borrowed

I guess technically it be Don’t Know Tough by Eli Cranor, but that’s from the Library and it doesn’t really feel like borrowing (I’m not sure that makes sense to anyone, including me). The last book I borrowed from a person (my son) was Halo: The Fall of Reach by Eric Nylund.

Don't Know ToughBlank SpaceHalo: The Fall of Reach


Last Book I Was Gifted

The Story Retold: A Biblical-Theological Introduction to the New Testament by G. K. Beale and Benjamin L. Gladd

I received this from my son and daughter-in-law last year, and have really enjoyed working through it this year.

The Story Retold


Last Book I Gave to Someone Else

Madam Tulip and the Rainbow’s End by David Ahern

I got my mother hooked on this series a few years ago, and was glad when he released this around the time I needed a gift for her birthday.

Madam Tulip and the Rainbow’s End


Last Book I Started

In a House of Lies by Ian Rankin

I’m loving being back in the world of John Rebus–Rankin’s ability to keep this ailing and retired detective involved in police cases–and doing so interestingly–is so much fun to see.

In a House of Lies


Last Book I Finished

Jacked: An Anthology of Crime Fiction edited by Vern Smith

This collection of short crime fiction is exactly what you’d want/expect. There were a few really strong stories and a couple of new-to-me authors that I’ll be on the lookout for.

Jacked


Last Book I Rated 5 Stars

Don’t Know Tough by Eli Crano

Yeah, it’s a repeat entry for this tag–oh well. Cranor’s debut is one of the easiest 5 Stars I’ve ever given. This thing got into my bones, and I’ll be thinking about it for weeks (at least) and talking about it for months (I know that I’ll mention it at least once in my 2022 wrap-ups)

Don't Know Tough


Last Book I Rated 2 Stars

Better Off Dead by Lee Child and Andrew Child

I am still trying to believe that this hand-off from Lee to Andrew is going to work, but this book doesn’t give me a lot of reason for that belief. Reacher 2.0 makes me want to watch the Cruise flicks for a more authentic feel.

Better Off Dead


Last Book I DNF’d

The Writer’s Library: The Authors You Love on the Books That Changed Their Lives by Nancy Pearl & Jeff Schwager, narrated by the authors and sixteen other people

Very interesting book–great premise. And the text version probably works well–but the way the audiobook was assembled and read…just unlistenable. (I talked about it some here)

The Writer's Library


Last Book I Listened To

Black Nerd Problems by William Evans & Omar Holmon

This was just tremendously fun to listen to–but when I sat down to write my post about it today, I came up blank. I’m having a hard time deciding what to talk about, I think–there’s a lot. Anyway, that’s why I did this post instead 🙂

Black Nerd Problems


As usual, I’m not tagging anyone in this—but I’d like to see what you all have to come up with.

WWW Wednesday, May 25, 2022

Arthur Dent could never get the hang of Thursdays, and I can relate. But it’s Wednesday, so I’m going to put my towel down for a minute to put together this WWW Wednesday. Kick back, relax, grab a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, and enjoy.

This meme was formerly hosted by MizB at A Daily Rhythm and revived on Taking on a World of Words—and shown to me by Aurore-Anne-Chehoke at Diary-of-a-black-city-girl.

The Three Ws are:

What are you currently reading?
What did you recently finish reading?
What do you think you’ll read next?

Easy enough, right?

What are you currently reading?

I’m reading Jacked: An Anthology of Crime Fiction edited by Vern Smith and In a House of Lies by Ian Rankin. I’m currently listening to (when I’m not pausing to laugh at) Black Nerd Problems by William Evans & Omar Holmon on audiobook.

JackedBlank SpaceIn a House of LiesBlank SpaceBlack Nerd Problems

What did you recently finish reading?

I just finished Eli Cranor’s devastatingly good Don’t Know Tough and Magic Kingdom for Sale–Sold! by Terry Brooks, Jeremy Arthur (Narrator) on audio—which was a nice stroll down memory lane.

Don't Know ToughBlank SpaceMagic Kingdom for Sale–Sold!

What do you think you’ll read next?

My next book should be A Snake in the Raspberry Patch by Joanne Jackson (I was supposed to read it a month ago). I’m looking forward to my audiobook, A Line to Kill by Anthony Horowitz, Rory Kinnear (Narrator).

A Snake in the Raspberry PatchBlank SpaceA Line to Kill

Hey, you hoopy froods, what are you reading?

Towel Day ’22: Some of my favorite Adams lines . . .

(updated 5/25/22)

There’s a great temptation here for me to go crazy and use so many quotations that I’d get in copyright trouble. I’ll refrain from that and just list some of his best lines . . .*

* The fact that this list keeps expanding from year to year says something about my position on flirting with temptation.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

This must be Thursday. . . I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

“You’d better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace. It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.”

“What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?”

“You ask a glass of water.”

(I’m not sure why, but this has always made me chuckle, if not actually laugh out loud. It’s just never not funny. It’s possibly the line that made me a fan of Adams)

He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centuari. And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before . . .

“Look,” said Arthur, “would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.


The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

It is a curious fact, and one to which no one knows quite how much importance to attach, that something like 85 percent of all known worlds in the Galaxy, be they primitive or highly advanced, have invented a drink called jynnan tonnyx, or gee-N-N-T’Nix, or jinond-o-nicks, or any one of a thousand or more variations on the same phonetic theme. The drinks themselves are not the same, and vary between the Sivolvian “chinanto/mnigs” which is ordinary water served at slightly above room temperature, and the Gagrakackan “tzjin-anthony-ks” which kills cows at a hundred paces; and in fact the one common factor between all of them, beyond the fact that the names sound the same, is that they were all invented and named before the worlds concerned made contact with any other worlds.

Reality is frequently inaccurate.

Life is wasted on the living.


Life, The Universe and Everything

Life, the Universe, and Everything

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of flying. There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

(It goes on for quite a while after this—and I love every bit of it.)

“One of the interesting things about space,” Arthur heard Slartibartfast saying . . . “is how dull it is?”

“Dull?” . . .

“Yes,” said Slartibartfast, “staggeringly dull. Bewilderingly so. You see, there’s so much of it and so little in it.”


So Long, and Thanks For All The Fish

So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

Of course, one never has the slightest notion what size or shape different species are going to turn out to be, but if you were to take the findings of the latest Mid-Galactic Census report as any kind of accurate guide to statistical averages you would probably guess that the craft would hold about six people, and you would be right. You’d probably guessed that anyway. The Census report, like most such surveys, had cost an awful lot of money and told nobody anything they didn’t already know—except that every single person in the Galaxy had 2.4 legs and owned a hyena. Since this was clearly not true the whole thing eventually had to be scrapped.

Here was something that Ford felt he could speak about with authority. “Life,” he said, “is like a grapefruit.”

“Er, how so?”

“Well, it’s sort of orangy-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It’s got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast.”

“Is there anyone else out there I can talk to?”

Arthur had a swordfish steak and said it made him angry. He grabbed a passing waitress by the arm and berated her. “Why’s this fish so bloody good?” he demanded, angrily.

“Please excuse my friend,” said Fenchurch to the startled waitress. “I think he’s having a nice day at last.”


Mostly Harmless

Mostly Harmless

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

Fall, though, is the worst. Few things are worse than fall in New York. Some of the things that live in the lower intestines of rats would disagree, but most of the things that live in the lower intestines of rats are highly disagreeable anyways, so their opinion can and should be discounted.


Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

There is no point in using the word ‘impossible’ to describe something that has clearly happened.

If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.

Let’s think the unthinkable, let’s do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.

(I’ve often been tempted to get a tattoo of this)


The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

There are some people you like immediately, some whom you think you might learn to like in the fullness of time, and some that you simply want to push away from you with a sharp stick.

It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, ‘As pretty as an airport.’

The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks.

She stared at them with the worried frown of a drunk trying to work out why the door is dancing.

It was his subconscious which told him this—that infuriating part of a person’s brain which never responds to interrogation, merely gives little meaningful nudges and then sits humming quietly to itself, saying nothing.

As she lay beneath a pile of rubble, in pain, darkness, and choking dust, trying to find sensation in her limbs, she was at least relieved to be able to think that she hadn’t merely been imagining that this was a bad day. So thinking, she passed out.


The Last Chance to See

The Last Chance to See

“So what do we do if we get bitten by something deadly?” I asked.

He looked at me as if I were stupid. “You die, of course. That’s what deadly means.”

I’ve never understood all this fuss people make about the dawn. I’ve seen a few and they’re never as good as the photographs, which have the additional advantage of being things you can look at when you’re in the right frame of mind, which is usually around lunchtime.

I have the instinctive reaction of a Western man when confronted with sublimely incomprehensible. I grab my camera and start to photograph it.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

The aye-aye is a nocturnal lemur. It is a very strange-looking creature that seems to have been assembled from bits of other animals. It looks a little like a large cat with a bat’s ears, a beaver’s teeth, a tail like a large ostrich feather, a middle finger like a long dead twig and enormous eyes that seem to peer past you into a totally different world which exists just over your left shoulder.

One of the characteristics that laymen find most odd about zoologists is their insatiable enthusiasm for animal droppings. I can understand, of course, that the droppings yield a great deal of information about the habits and diets of the animals concerned, but nothing quite explains the sheer glee that the actual objects seem to inspire.

I mean, animals may not be intelligent, but they’re not as stupid as a lot of human beings.


The Salmon of Doubt

The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

I’ve come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies:
1. Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.
2. Anything that’s invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.
3. Anything invented after you’re thirty-five is against the natural order of things.


And a couple of lines I’ve seen in assorted places, articles, books, and whatnot

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

A learning experience is one of those things that says, “You know that thing you just did? Don’t do that.”

The fact is, I don’t know where my ideas come from. Nor does any writer. The only real answer is to drink way too much coffee and buy yourself a desk that doesn’t collapse when you beat your head against it.

Solutions nearly always come from the direction you least expect, which means there’s no point trying to look in that direction because it won’t be coming from there.

Towel Day ’22: Do You Know Where Your Towel Is?

(updated and revised this 5/25/22)

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels.

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Hence a phrase that has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in “Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.” (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)

Towel Day, for the few who don’t know, is the annual celebration of Douglas Adams’ life and work. It was first held two weeks after his death, fans were to carry a towel with them for the day to use as a talking point to encourage those who have never read HHGTTG to do so, or to just converse with someone about Adams. Adams is one of that handful of authors that I can’t imagine I’d be the same without having encountered/read/re-read/re-re-re-re-read, and so I do my best to pay a little tribute to him each year, even if it’s just carrying around a towel.

Some time in 7th or 8th grade (I believe), I was at a friend’s house and his brother let us try his copy of the text-based Hitchhiker’s Guide game, and we were no good at it at all. Really, it was embarrassing. However, his brother had a copy of the novel, and we all figured that the novel held the keys we needed for success with the game (alas, for us it did not). My friends all decided that I’d be the one to read the book and come back in a few days as an expert.

I quickly forgot about the game. Adams’ irreverent style rocked my world—could people actually get away with saying some of these things? His skewed take on the world, his style, his humor…and a depressed robot, too! It was love at first read.

It was one of those experiences that, looking back, I can say shaped my reading and thinking for the rest of my life (make of that what you will). Were my life the subject of a Doctor Who or Legends of Tomorrow episode, it’d be one of those immutable fixed points. I read the books (particularly the first) so many times that I can quote significant portions of it, and frequently do so without noticing that I’m doing that. I have (at this time) two literary-inspired tattoos, one of which is the planet logo*. In essence, I’m saying that Adams has had an outsized influence on my life and is probably my biggest enduring fandom. If carrying around a (massively useful) piece of cloth for a day in some small way honors his memory? Sure, I’m in.

* I didn’t know it at the time, but Adams didn’t like that guy. Whoops.

One of my long-delayed goals is to write up a good all-purpose Tribute to Douglas Adams and his work post, and another Towel Day has come without me doing so. Belgium. Next year . . . or later. (he says for at least the 8th straight year, a work ethic I like to believe Adams would endorse).

In the meantime, here’s some of what I’ve written about Adams. A few years back, I did a re-read of all of Adams’ (completed) fiction. For reasons beyond my ken (or recollection), I didn’t get around to blogging about the Dirk Gently books, but I did do the Hitchhiker’s Trilogy:
bullet The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
bullet The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
bullet Life, The Universe and Everything
bullet So Long, and Thanks For All The Fish
bullet Mostly Harmless
bullet I had a thing or two to say about the 40th Anniversary of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
bullet Last year, I took a look at the 42nd Anniversary Illustrated Edition of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Also, I should mention the one book Adams/Hitchhiker’s aficionado needs to read is Don’t Panic by Neil Gaiman, David K. Dickson and MJ Simpson. If you’re more in the mood for a podcast, I’d suggest The Waterstones Podcast How We Made: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy—I’ve listened to several podcast episodes about this book, and generally roll my eyes at them. But this is just fantastic. Were it available, I’d listen to a Peter Jackson-length version of the episode.

I’ve only been able to get one of my sons into Adams, he’s the taller, thinner one in the picture from a few years ago.

You really need to check out this comic from Sheldon Comics—part of the Anatomy of Authors series: The Anatomy of Douglas Adams.

TowelDay.org is the best collection of resources on the day. One of my favorite posts there is this pretty cool video, shot on the ISS by astronaut Samantha Cristoforetti.

Even better—here’s an appearance by Douglas Adams himself from the old Letterman show—I’m so glad someone preserved this:

Love the anecdote (Also, I want this tie.)

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