Category: (Auto)Biography Page 2 of 11

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir by Matthew Perry: A Memoir of Self-Destruction

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible ThingFriends, Lovers, and the
Big Terrible Thing:
A Memoir

by Matthew Perry

DETAILS:
Publisher: Macmillan Audio
Publication Date: October 31, 2022
Format: Unabridged Audiobook
Length: 8 hrs., 49 min.
Read Date: December 6-7, 2023
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My mind is out to kill me, and I know it. I am constantly filled with a lurking loneliness, a yearning, clinging to the notion that something outside of me will fix me. But I had had all that the outside had to offer!

What’s Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing About?

This isn’t full of—but does contain—some good, behind-the-scenes stuff about Friends, Fools Rush In, The Whole Nine Yards, Mr. Sunshine, The Odd Couple, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, and other projects. But those don’t make up the bulk of the material. And those are interesting, amusing, and support the overall thesis of the book—he’s an addict who has been blessed with more good things than he knows how to handle.

There’s some juicy (largely nameless, but you can read between the lines) bits about his love life—as the title suggests. But again, there’s not much of that overall—and those, too, serve to support the overall thesis—even more than the professional matters do.

Then there’s the Big Terrible Thing—his addictions themselves, how he got started, how he maintained them, and his several attempts to get sober (of varying successes and lengths of success). He also goes into graphic (perhaps too graphic) detail about the physical toll they’ve taken on him—and the financial, emotional, and mental toll they’ve taken on those close to him.

How Perry Comes Across

When this book first came out (or just before it) there were more than a few headlines about some (I’m going to be charitable and call them) questionable jokes he made about Keanu Reeves and some people casting doubt about some of the particulars of some of his stories. Given how impaired he was during most of those disputed events (and just about every other event he recounts), I’m not surprised he doesn’t remember them correctly, and I don’t think it should be held against him. The Reeves jokes, on the other hand, might have seemed like a good idea at the time—but his editors really should’ve stopped them. I jotted down a note after the second one that “someone at Macmillan must have it out for him to let this make it to print.”

But both of those things pale in comparison to everything that Perry admits to in this book. He doesn’t come across as a good guy at all—and I don’t think he’s trying to. Sure, the fact that he’s (seemingly) coming clean about everything and (seemingly) taking responsibility for the lies, destructive behaviors, and despicable actions might make some people want to think better of him—but I don’t think he really wants that.

He comes across—and I realize this could be entirely calculated—as someone who is being honest about his shortcomings, seeking to explain the devastation his addictions have wrought on himself and many, many of those around him—how he’s somehow managed to have some success in the midst of that. He gives credit to some of those who’ve helped him get to this point in recovery—or kept him alive long enough to get there. In the end, however, Perry’s not a good guy and doesn’t pretend to be one. He’s a mess who will very likely kill himself if he relapses a time or two more.

So, what did I think about Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing?

I’ve been a big fan of Perry’s since Friends (I can point to the joke that made me one)—I’ve seen almost everything he’s done (sometimes not because of him, but I appreciated his involvement). But I put this book under the category of “will get around to eventually, maybe.” Until I saw people reacting to how much of the focus of the book is on the Big Terrible Thing. And that piqued my interest.

That sounds ghoulish, I realize, but hearing a well-documented addict talking about their struggles is something that I appreciate. It helps me empathize with those I know fighting that fight, and I hope, helps me understand and appreciate their struggles.

Perry’s clear that he’s been given every opportunity, tool, and help to get sober and to maintain that sobriety. And he’s squandered almost every one of them. And it has yet to work. The amounts he takes on a regular basis when he uses is…it’s a shocking amount—and only someone as wealthy as he is could pull it off.

At the same time, there’s a glimmer of hope. A faint glimmer, sure. But there is one—and if someone whose rock bottom is as low as Perry’s was can maybe make it—there’s hope for others, too. And that’s the big thing I took away—there’s hope. Hope for other addicts, hope for Perry.

I thought this was a riveting and disturbing read—made tolerable by Perry’s off-kilter and somewhat humorous telling of the stories. It’s not like most celebrity memoirs I’ve read (but I don’t think it’s that ground-breaking)—but definitely worth the time.


4 Stars
This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase from it, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, the opinions expressed are my own.


			

My Favorite Non-Fiction Books of 2022

Favorite Non-Fiction 2022
My 2022 Wrap up continues and now we’re on to the Non-Fiction list. While I liked a number of works that didn’t make this list, I felt strange calling them a “favorite.” So, we have 9 instead of the nigh-obligatory 10 for the second year in a row. These are the ones that stuck with me through the year; the ones I cited in conversation; that I thought about when reading something else or watching something on TV. Yeah, there’s some overlap between this list and the audiobook list from yesterday—lately, most Non-Fiction books I work through are in audiobook format. So it makes sense, even if it makes this post seem like an echo.

As always, I only put books that I’ve read for the first time on this list. I don’t typically return to NF books (outside of looking up things for one or three points), but occasionally I do—for example, The Pleasures of Reading in an Age of Distraction by Alan Jacobs would get a permanent spot on this list, were it not for this rule.

(in alphabetical order by author)

Go Back to Where You Came FromGo Back to Where You Came From: And Other Helpful Recommendations on How to Become American

by Wajahat Ali

My original post
I’m just going to remix some of what I said originally, this book was a great mix of memoir, social commentary, and satire—with a little sprinkling of a more general humor thrown in. The way he shifted between the genres was fairly seamless and quite effective—his own story (and that of his parents) were good illustrations of the societal ills he wanted to point to. Ali’s story is the kind that Americans love to tell and hear about success—even if his telling points to many of the flaws in our society. Through grit, determination, perseverance, and endurance, Ali pushes through all sorts of cultural, societal, legal, medical, and circumstantial challenges to arrive where he is. Because he believes in what we can be as a people, based on our (incredibly inconsistently applied and demonstrated) ideals and aspirations. It’s the kind of story we need to see, hear, and read more of.

4 Stars

Black Nerd ProblemsBlack Nerd Problems:
Essays

by William Evans & Omar Holmon

My original post
There are several strengths to this book—the first is the wide scope of the genres and ages of the pop culture they nerd out about. The second is the variety of the ways they express their appreciation (or lack thereof) for these cultural artifacts. Some of these essays are just silly, some are humorous, some touching, some sober—no two are alike in most ways. I wish I could write like this.

4 Stars

A World Without A World Without “Whom”: The Essential Guide to Language in the BuzzFeed Age

by Emmy J. Favilla

My original post
Sure, I disagreed with some of her takes—I’m less enamored with the idea of language as a ruleless entity than she is. But I found it impossible not to enjoy this—even when I thought Favilla was wrong about some particular note of grammar, I appreciated the way she thought about the idea and presented it. Mostly, I enjoyed reading about the process involved in creating and maintaining a style sheet for an entity as big and particular as Buzzfeed. The lists are the kind of thing I could read on a daily basis. As I wrote, “If you’re the kind of person who gets worked up about getting your phrasing juuuuuust right or are bothered when someone doesn’t. If you think reading tributes to commas and em dashes is a good time. Or if you’re curious about why someone would want to eliminate whom or is fine with letting the English subjunctive mood die…this is the book for you.”

(and, yes, I’m still planning on the tattoo inspired by the book)

3.5 Stars

The Stories Behind the StoriesThe Stories Behind the Stories: The Remarkable True Tales Behind Your Favorite Kid’s Books

by Danielle Higley, David Miles (Illustrator)

My original post
I don’t know if I read a better-designed book last year (or the year before). It’s a treat for the eyes. But more importantly, the content is as good—if not better. I can see the book appealing to (and being understood) younger readers curious about some of the books they’ve read or seen at a library. It also was entertaining and edifying for a, um, more seasoned reader familiar with almost all of the books. I was surprised by some of what I read, learned something about all but one of the 20+ books covered and walked away with a hankering to go back and read some of these.

4 Stars

Good TalkGood Talk: A Memoir in Conversations

by Mira Jacob

My original post
Okay, this was pretty well designed, too. This graphic memoir really hit me on several levels. The art is simple, but very effective. The story of Jacob’s life is one that needs to be told—for the sake of those who can relate to remember they’re not alone, and for the sake of those who can’t relate at all to help build some empathy. The framing device of trying to explain race in the U.S. to a biracial child trying to understand the world around him is much-needed, and probably more so all the time. This was more powerful than I expected (and had some great moments of lightness, too!)

4 Stars

The World Record Book of Racist StoriesThe World Record Book
of Racist Stories

by Amber Ruffin & Lacey Lamar

My original post
Back at race again…this time looking at subtle and not-so-subtle, clueless and intentional, probably well-meaning and just mean, ways that one family has to deal with racism on a day-to-day basis. There’s enough silliness to make this book endurable because there are some anecdotes here that are stunningly awful. A strong follow-up to last year’s book.

4 Stars

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible ThingFriends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing

by Matthew Perry

I haven’t found time to write about this book yet, so I’m having trouble boiling things down into a concise paragraph. I’ve been a huge fan of Perry’s since episode 2 of Friends (and was a decently-sized fan based on the pilot), so I was drawn to this right away, but really wanted a break from celebrity memoirs and put off getting it until I read that the book focused so much on the “Big Terrible Thing.” There’s some stuff about his acting career—highs and lows, the usual behind-the-scenes, stuff. But this book is primarily about his mental health problems, his addictions, and the many, many ways he’s hurting himself and those around him. I wouldn’t call this a “warts and all” kind of portrayal of Perry, more of a “warts (and some other things)” look at him. There’s some hope and optimism, too, but it’s tempered.

4 Stars

How to Be PerfectHow to Be Perfect:
The Correct Answer to
Every Moral Question

by Michael Schur (Writer, Narrator)
with: Michael Schur, Kristen Bell, D’Arcy Carden, Ted Danson, William Jackson Harper, Manny Jacinto, Marc Evan Jackson, Jameela Jamil, and Todd May

My original post
This is a solid introduction to ethics and some of the major schools of thought behind contemporary approaches (with historical precedents). The kind of thing you might get in a 100-level course in college. But told in a very approachable way that will no doubt bring a smile to the reader’s/listener’s face occasionally. It’s not perfect, but it’s good. It’s thoughtful, but accessible. And it can—should?—act as a launching pad for further reading and study for those who want to dig in.

4 Stars

E.B. White on DogsE. B. White on Dogs

edited by Martha White

This is another one I haven’t had time to write about yet. I went in assuming this would be a good read—and got that. This is a collection of essays, shorter pieces, and letters written by White about (or mentioning) dogs. There are some solid gems here—honest laughs, amusing thoughts, and devotion to these animals that humans are so strongly drawn to. Readers of this blog know that I love good writing about dogs, and that’s exactly what we get here. There are a handful of things I’m not sure were worthy of including in this book other than for the sake of completeness, but I’m not going to complain.

4 Stars

Catch-Up Quick Takes: Some Lighter Reads/Listens

I just don’t have a lot to say about these books, so let’s take care of them briefly. The point of these quick takes posts is to catch up on my “To Write About” stack—emphasizing pithiness, not thoroughness.


Working It OutWorking It Out

by Jo Platt

DETAILS:
Publisher: Canelo
Publication Date: February 3, 2022
Format: eBook
Length: 384 pg.
Read Date: October 1-3, 2022

(the official blurb)
Platt’s voice is great. All the characters were great (well, maybe all but one of them were). But the story just fell flat for me over and over again. The resolution just made me mad. The behavior of the protagonist was supposed to be cute and endearing–but it only served to annoy me. If you take this cast of characters, mature the protagonist a degree, and put them in the service of a better novel, I’d have loved it. But…bah. It was an okay way to burn some time in a hospital waiting room (which is where I was), but that’s about it.
2 Stars

Slaying Monsters for the FeebleSlaying Monsters for the Feeble

by Annette Marie, Cris Dukehart (Narrator)

DETAILS:
Series: Guild Codex: Demonized, #2
Publisher: Tantor Audio
Publication Date: Feb 4, 2020
Format: Unabridged Audiobook
Length: 8 hrs., 27 min.
Read Date: October 6-11, 2022
Support Independent Bookstores - Visit IndieBound.org

(the official blurb)
I wasn’t sure how this series was going to really go after that first book, but I’m really pleased by this one. I particularly enjoyed the way that this fits in with the other series in this ‘verse. The action was good, the magic interesting, and the characters grew on me (or continued to, I should say).

I’m not particularly a fan of the friendship/affection/whatever between Robin and Zylas. But I don’t hate it, so there’s that.

This is one that I think I need to see through to the end before I decide about individual books–are some of these plotlines a waste of time? Are they going somewhere satisfying? Are they just going to prove frustrating? It’s too hard to tell. I think I’m going to end up thinking of this positively, but I can’t be sure yet. (I’m a little worried they could end up in the same spot as the Ella Grey series)

Cris Dukehart continues to get the job done and keep the books interesting.

3 Stars

The World's Worst AssistantThe World’s Worst Assistant

by Sona Movsesian

DETAILS: 
Publisher: Penguin Audio
Publication Date: July 19, 2022
Format: Unabridged Audiobook
Length: 5 hrs., 25 min.
Read Date: October 11-12, 2022
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(the official blurb)
Sona Movsesian has been Conan O’Brien’s assistant for years–his friend, too. Listening to the two of them on his podcast, you can hear the affection–and get caught up in their odd communal humor. I’ve also listened to enough of her that it feels strange to refer to her as anything but Sona.

The book gives a brief biography of Movsesian before moving into her time working various low-level jobs in television before getting hired by O’Brien as he started to move his show and family to California to take over The Tonight Show. We get a look at some of what happened to him there and then what they did afterward–both professionally and personally.

Essentially, this is a book about Movsesian and her good friend and boss–how much fun they have together, some of the amazing things she’s gotten to do, and the people she’s gotten to meet because of their jobs.

You start off listening to this book (I imagine), because of her boss and wanting to hear what it’s like to work with him–even if you’re the worst assistant in the world (how do you keep the job in that case?). You end up listening to the whole thing because you can’t help but like Movsesian and want to hear her tell stories about her life and laugh along with her.
3 Stars

DeclassifiedDeclassified:
A Low-Key Guide to
the High-Strung World
of Classical Music

by Arianna Warsaw-Fan Rauch

DETAILS:
Publisher: Penguin Audio
Publication Date: October 11, 2022
Format: Unabridged Audiobook
Length: 6 hrs., 48 min.
Read Date: October 14-18, 2022
Support Independent Bookstores - Visit IndieBound.org

(the official blurb)
This would be tough to describe even if I was doing a full post, not just a quick take. I had a lot of fun with Warsaw-Fan Rauch’s book.

The behind-the-scenes bits about classical music, orchestra, and the education/training involved for today’s performers was great to hear. The jokes, snippy bits, and history of classical music, composers, and various instruments (and those that play them) were a special kind of geeky fun that I appreciated (not as much as someone who’s seriously played and/or studied, I’m sure, but enough for me).

The personal material didn’t do much for me–I don’t know her enough for that to have mattered (and didn’t get enough reason throughout the book). But it’s easy to get over that and focus on the highlights.

This was a pleasant time (and a little educational, too). Give it a listen.
3 Stars

Rebel with a ClauseRebel with a Clause:
Tales and Tips from
a Roving Grammarian

by Ellin Jovin

DETAILS:
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication Date: July 19, 2022
Format: Unabridged Audiobook
Length: 7 hrs., 38 min.
Read Date: October 18-19, 2022
Support Independent Bookstores - Visit IndieBound.org

(the official blurb)
Um…this isn’t as clever as it thinks it is. Maybe, maybe, if I knew who Jovin was before starting this book, I might have a different take. It feels like such a bunch of inside jokes–the kind of stories that fans of someone well-established might relish, but new readers wouldn’t. On the whole, it wasn’t about her points about grammar or language usage (see Dreyer or Favilla for a couple of examples of how to do this), that drove the narrative and humor of the book. It was harder to define, it was more how odd people thought it was that she was traveling around the country giving her opinions on the sidewalk or finding people who cared enough to discuss it.

While picking up the anecdotes for this book, Jovin and her husband were making a movie about her grammar table. That movie might be more entertaining to watch, and I plan on doing that someday. I think it might work better as such–sort of a “man on the street” kind of thing that can work well (see countless talk shows and Youtube series for proof). But this was just dissatisfying.

(also, I wasn’t crazy about the narration)
2 1/2 Stars

This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase from any of them, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, opinions are my own.

Yes, Chef: A Memoir by Marcus Samuelsson with Veronica Chambers: A Life in Food

Yes, ChefYes, Chef:
A Memoir

by Marcus Samuelsson with Veronica Chambers

DETAILS:
Publisher: Random House
Publication Date: June 26, 2012
Format: Hardcover
Length: 315 pg.
Read Date: December 21-26, 2022
Support Independent Bookstores - Visit IndieBound.org

How I’m Going to Approach This

There is very little reason to believe that Veronica Chambers didn’t write this book. Obviously, Marcus Samuelsson provided the stories, the perspective, the passion, the insight—but I doubt he had much to do with the composition, the organization, and so on. I assume it’s his voice reflected in the style.

But the pronoun used to tell this life story is “I,” not “he.” Whatever agreement the two of them made didn’t even get her name on the cover (thankfully, subsequent editions do give her a “with” credit). She does get a couple of paragraphs devoted to her work in the acknowledgments, so there is that. Anyway, I’m going to follow along with the book and talk about “him” and “Samuelsson” when I talk about the book—but let’s all imagine a big asterisk each time I do, okay?

(I thought about actually putting an asterisk each time with a little footnote—but there’s the potential for that to get really messy)

What’s Yes, Chef About?

In Meki, the small farming village where ’m from, there are no roads. We are actually from an even smaller village than Meki, called Abrugandana, that does not exist on most maps. You go to Meki, take a right in the middle of nowhere, walk about five miles, and that is where we are from.

I really should think of another way to start off this post—because really, it’s all on the cover: “Marcus Samuelsson” and “A Memoir.”

This is about the life of Marcus Samuelsson—there’s a brief description of his life in Ethiopia for the first few years of his life. What he’s reconstructed about his mother, as well as her journey to get medical care for herself, Marcus, and his sister. She died before she could get help, but her children got the help, recovered, and were adopted by a wonderful Swedish couple. We spend a few chapters looking at his life in Sweden—family, friends, soccer, and then cooking—before moving on to him beginning his education and career.

He spends a lot of time on the early days of his training and career, talking about his struggles, his opportunities, his drive. There are highs and lows—somehow cooking for one chef’s dog becomes a high “I did my best. That old, ill-tempered retriever ate better than anybody: I’d take a piece of tenderloin, salt and pepper it and sauté it off quickly, then maybe put mustard on it.” Samuelsson’s attitude, optimism, humility (frequently self-conscious and/or self-imposed), and drive made a lot of these lows into highs—or at least not terribly low. We get a little bit about his personal life here—but not much. Part of that is because the focus is on Marcus Samuelsson the chef, but it’s also because Marcus Samuelsson the would-be chef sacrificed almost every moment of his life to become the chef he is.

Then he talks about his time in New York—the early struggles, the big opportunities, and how he (with help, he’s always quick to talk about everyone who helped). As we get to the last decade or so of his life, the chronological approach is largely discarded for a topical approach—reconnecting with his family in Ethiopia (and the foods of Africa), race in high-end restaurants, his wife, meeting his abandoned daughter, professional failures (big ones), preparing the first state dinner for President Obama, and his (then) new Harlem restaurant.

A case could be made that this entire book is a sales pitch and mission statement for that restaurant, Red Rooster. As that (at the point this book was written) was the pinnacle of his career, what the whole thing was leading to, that makes sense. It almost comes across as one of those books that presidential hopefuls publish right before they announce their candidacy. I do wonder a bit what this book would’ve looked like if he’d written it now, a full decade later, would the philosophy behind and mission of Red Rooster be as prominent, or would it be a stepping stone to whatever his new project is? Or would it get the same kind of treatment it did, with a “at the same time, X, allows me to express this, too” kind of feel?

Food

This food has as much integrity and power as any French food I’d ever eaten. Why did people fly in Dijon mustard when they could make their own, fresher and better? I started to ask myself, Who lied? Who started the lie that France had the greatest food in the world? That question ran through my head every time I bit into something new and that changed my notions of what “good food” is.

The book starts with an element of cooking—an Ethiopian spice mix—and it doesn’t stop from there. I doubt something about cooking, flavor, or food is mentioned on every page. But I’m going to say it’s on 95% of them. (and if you told me I was wrong and it was on every page, I would believe you). Part of this is the branding, but most of it is this is the way that Marcus Samuelsson looks at the world (that might be changing later in life, but from his teen years to the age he starts making time for family, that’s it).

Now, almost no one is going to pick up Samuelsson’s memoir unless they care about high-end cuisine, his particular type of cooking, or anything like that. No one is saying, “I love that guy’s taste in hats, I want to read about his life.”* This book will reward that food-conscious reader—I loved the parts about his training, the kitchen struggles, the story of working up through the ranks—and how he’s helping others through that process now. And the food? Wow. Anytime you read about someone caring so much about something—regardless of what it is—you can’t help but get energized about it.

* Sadly, there’s almost no discussion of his fashion choices—just his food—I could never pull off his style, but I wouldn’t mind picking up some tips on hat and shoe selection.

I’m not a gourmet—I enjoy watching chefs at work, hearing—and occasionally reading—about their work. But most of the food in this book would not be something I’d enjoy. That retriever’s dinner sounds pretty good to me—as does a lot of the street food Samuelsson tried out in his early NYC days, and the Ethiopian food he’s exposed to when he first visits. But the stuff that Samuelsson prepares? No thanks. I’ll read about it any day, but you can leave it off of my plate.

Before I forget, there’s a great story about this executive chef with multiple restaurants (at the time) being schooled by a woman in Ethiopia using a dented can as a ladle while preparing injera, “her words of encouragement were delivered with the patient tone you take with a not-so-gifted child.”

Race

Growing up when and where he did, Samuelsson knew he was different—but by and large (and he describes why), this wasn’t an issue for him until he left home. But doors were closed for him because of his race, and he knew it.

It’s worse in the U.S. than it was in Europe, but it wasn’t a cakewalk there.

Between his life experience, his success, and seeing other people’s struggles/successes, Samuelsson has a lot to say about race and its place in restaurants (front and back of house). Because of his upbringing, when it comes to the U.S., he’s an informed outsider—but when it’s about restaurant culture, he’s an insider through and through. He has valuable insights on both fronts.

The Organization of the Book

I would eventually learn that all chefs worth their mettle have their own styles and their own passions, but every single one of them can go from zero to asshole quicker than the average Joe. You have to be willing to be a jerk. Otherwise it’s not worth it, the years of apprenticeship, the never Wall Street—level money, the ungrateful diners, the misfit miscreants you count on to execute each service flawlessly, not to mention the prima donna behavior of all those raw ingredients—the coquettish egg whites that may or may not fluff properly for you today; the potatoes that may decide that today is the day that they will burn, not crisp; the tomatoes that didn’t ripen because of an unexpected heat wave. As a chef, you are at the mercy of the farmer, the butcher, the fishmonger, the weather, and God.

I thought I had more to say about this than I do, but I want to give a little time for this—when we get to fairly contemporary events, the book becomes more topical than chronological. I understand this to an extent—here’s all his professional failures, here’s his professional/personal failures, here’s his personal growth and failures, etc. Also, it’s harder to consider “current events” in your own life chronologically.

But I really wish that wasn’t the approach—all the backtracking makes it hard to track how this professional shortcoming feeds into this personal triumph (and vice versa). For me, that would’ve been better storytelling.

So, what did I think about Yes, Chef?

Food memories give people something to talk about—our food, our culture, our journey. The North Star here is Harlem. The restaurant had to be a place that honored and mirrored the mystique of the renaissance but showed the new Harlem—inclusive of both old and new. The menu had to tell the story of all of Harlem’s residents—Latin, Southern, Caribbean, Jewish, Italian. When I cook, I see faces: When I make meatballs, I see my grandmother and her smile. When I make my flan with condensed milk and whipped chocolate, I try to honor all the young Latinas from Spanish Harlem for whom this is a signature dish. My take on dirty rice—shrimp with curry rice—is a tribute to all of the many multiracial Jamaican families who are a mix of black, Indian, and Chinese. I want to do them all justice.

I ended up enjoying this more than I expected to—I picked it for a Reading Challenge because I knew a bit about Samuelsson having watched him on roughly 17,000 various things on Food Network and Netflix, and figured it couldn’t help but be an interesting read just for the biography part alone. But I really didn’t expect to connect with the food parts as much as I did (but I really should have)—and I thought what he said about the people, places, and history he’s connecting with and helping with Red Rooster was pretty inspiring.

I said that thing about a presidential campaign book earlier as kind of a quip, but I haven’t been able to get that out of my head. That’s really what this is—here’s Chef Marcus Samuelsson’s mission statement. If you’re on board with it, go visit his restaurant(s), try to think about these things as you cook yourself (or evaluate other people’s cooking).

If you’re into food at all—beyond fuel to keep going—you might want to give this a read. Samuelsson (and Chambers) will reward your time.


3 Stars

This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase from it, I will get a small commission at no additional cost to you. As always, the opinions expressed are my own.

Have I Told You This Already?: Stories I Don’t Want to Forget to Remember by Lauren Graham: The Actress-Essayist Does It Again

Have I Told You This Already?Have I Told You This Already?:
Stories I Don’t Want to
Forget to Remember

by Lauren Graham

DETAILS: 
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Publication Date: November 15, 2022
Format: Hardcover
Length: 186 pg.
Read Date: December 12, 2022 
Support Independent Bookstores - Visit IndieBound.org

It’s almost as if I’m sending mixed messages, like valuing privacy whilst also being the author of a second book of personal essays.

What’s Have I Told You This Already? About?

This is a collection of essays—mostly personal—about Graham’s career (or things surrounding it) during various stages, some thoughts on filming a TV show and directing, and there’s one essay that’s devoted to just being funny.

She reflects on aging, friendship, making marmalade, and the ridiculous things that women in Hollywood have to do to maintain certain standards of appearance. She opens the book talking about memory and story-telling—where accuracy is necessary and where details can fudged because it makes a story better, and ends up with a tribute to New York City.

Whoops

I should’ve been patient and waited for the audiobook to become available. There’s nothing wrong with reading the paper version of this book—it’s perfectly charming and Graham’s voice shone through.

But.

Hearing it in her actual voice (not just what I assume it would sound like)—a few passages in particular—would be so much better. I listened to her previous book of essays (and the graduation speech) and I think this would’ve been more entertaining in audio format.

So, what did I think about Have I Told You This Already??

He said this as if his memory of the matter was not at all disturbed by something as inconsequential as fact. For years, my father told the same story about how a momentous occasion felt to him; the facts had faded over time, maybe because they weren’t the most relevant part of the day. Sometimes we polish an experience to make facts line up more closely with feelings or exaggerate moments to make a better dinner party tale. And sometimes, mercifully, details become blurry over time, maybe because the sharp reality is too painful to carry.

This was a fast and breezy read. Graham’s really skilled as a writer and her prose sings. She’s funny as you want her to be. The closing paragraph of the second essay is a work of comedic art, a string of puns that I couldn’t believe she was able to keep going as long as she is. I’m never going to quote any part of it—but I’m telling you, it was great.

There were a couple of chapters that didn’t do much for me—the chapter on various health retreats or the chapter on NYC as a friend (although I thought it was some of her strongest writing). And a couple that I was surprised I enjoyed as much as I did—like the chapter about her relationship with the department store, Barney’s. The chapter where she uses Nora Ephron’s essay, “I Feel Bad About My Neck,” to talk about aging in the Entertainment industry, was particularly effective.

Even the essays that underwhelmed me were well written, and I could see what she was trying to do—they just didn’t connect with me–but I found something to grin about or chuckle at in them. The essays that did click with me made me laugh (sometimes a lot). The rest fell somewhere between—but they were all funny (when intended to be), and I’m glad I read them all.

At the same time, I need to stress that this is not all comedy. There are some real emotions and some thinking behind some of these essays—and it’ll provoke some, too. I think in the end you get more comedy than anything else, but it wouldn’t take much for the balance to go the other way.

She has a real gift for a killer last line, too. Openings are important, but with essays of this length (especially if you’re going for comedic), a great last line is essential, and Graham knows what she’s doing there.

In the end, this was a very pleasant and engaging read that makes me really want to see more from her (which goes for pretty much everything she’s written). When her novel was published, I picked it up because I was curious about what this actress could do—I’ve picked up the 3 works since because I like the way she writes. This collection works as evidence that we should maybe think of Graham as a writer who can act.

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Good Talk: A Memoir in Conversations by Mira Jacob: Explaining Race in the U.S. to a Child

Good TalkGood Talk:
A Memoir in Conversations

by Mira Jacob

DETAILS:
Publisher: One World
Publication Date: March 25, 2019
Format: Hardcover
Length: 349 pg.
Read Date: October 5-6, 2022
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Sometimes, you don’t know how confused you are about something important until you try explaiing it to someone else.

What’s Good Talk About?

It’s 2014 when the book opens, Mira Jacob’s son Z is six and he’s asking Mom a lot of questions (because he’s six). They start off talking about Michael Jackson—Z is obsessed with him. Z eventually asks about Jackson’s skin color—Z is half-Jewish, half-Indian and has several questions about skin color that stem from this (and likely predate this, but what do I know) which leads to questions about race, race relations, and what he sees on the news. Jacob’s committed to being open and honest with Z, but struggles knowing how much she should say—and how optimistic she should be about the state of the US in terms of Ferguson, MO, and a lot of the rhetoric surrounding the 2016 elections.

The memoir comes in as Jacob recounts several scenes from her childhood/young adulthood that shaped her. Her parents immigrated from India in the 60s (a week before MLK was assassinated) and took up residence in Albuquerque. We get a few scenes from her childhood and teen years before moving to adulthood, dealing with misunderstandings, assumptions, and unintentional rudeness based on her background. Eventually, she finds herself in New York City trying to make it as a freelance writer and dating. This is all told with frankness and humor. The kind of humor that reminded me of Amber Ruffin/Lacey Lamar’s You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey from last year—you laugh so you don’t have to cry.

The Art

I really don’t know how to describe the art here, but this is a graphic memoir, so it’s a major component of the book. So I’d better try.

I saw someone on Goodreads use the term “mixed media,” and without researching it, I think it’s close enough to use as a description (maybe not technically right?). Please note that this is me trying to describe it, not being dismissive as it may sound. It’s like Jacob drew nice, but not fantastic, paper dolls of each character (some at different ages, others static) and put them on top of photographs or drawings of various locations and added speech bubbles.

I just saw that she has an Instagram account that uses images from the book (in addition to the regular Instagram stuff), so I figure I can “quote” something to show what I’m talking about:

This is nowhere near the kind of art that appeals to me in graphic novels/memoirs etc. Give me something dynamic, something with some flair, something I can bask in. But…this really worked for me. It helped give this a “documentary” kind of feel (don’t ask me to explain this, but it struck me that way). This isn’t about the glitz or the pictures jumping off of the page, it’s about a woman having tricky conversations with her loved ones—and complete strangers, sometimes. The focus is on the words, but the images help carry you along.

So, what did I think about Good Talk?

Sometimes, you go along with it and pretend nothing happened. Sometimes, you hold your breath until the feeling of wanting to believed passes. Sometimes, you weigh explaining against staying quiet and know they’re both just different kinds of heavy. Sometimes, when it’s your mother-in-law—a woman you started calling Mom the day you got engaged because you admired the ferocity with which she loved her children, and maybe even wanted some of it for yourself—you look ahead and see all the years of birthdays and graduations and weddings that will be shadowed by things that she can’t imagine about your life. Sometimes, you can’t hold your breath long enough.

I typed “I really enjoyed this book”, but I’m not sure that’s the appropriate response. I don’t know that supposed to enjoy this—but her style and humor are really engaging and there’s enough hope in there that it feels natural to say. I feel okay saying that this is a good read—it’ll make you think, it might make you grin, and it’ll definitely make you wince.

Right away, when Jacob goes to visit families in India and they tell her that her skin tone (darker than her parents’ or her brother’s) marks her out as not as attractive or a good prospect for marriage, you can tell she will pull no punches. And you can understand why she wouldn’t want to. It’s one of the many, many things that guys like me on Scalzi’s Lowest Difficulty Setting don’t have to think of. There are many sections of the book that hit the same way—like the chapter where she talks about being mistaken for “the help” at a party her mother-in-law was hosting. The above quotation is part of that—she decides mid-way through the conversation that she’s not going to try to explain what happened, nor argue about it. Constantly having to explain your experiences—your life—to people who don’t get it has to be a kind of exhausting that I can’t imagine.

But there’s a lot of humor and hope here, too—not all of it at the expense of clueless white folk saying dumb things. There’s the chapter about getting her dad to use marijuana to help the pain of his cancer treatment, for example. It’s funny and heart-warming. Until he dies, of course, reminding you that this isn’t that the hope is tinged with reality.

I really recommend this book—it’s a deceptively easy read, and you shouldn’t let the style or format fool you into racing through it. There’s a lot to chew on, a lot to reflect on—and a perspective that should be listened to. Even if you can’t relate to her struggles, can’t agree with her politics, and find the whole discussion unsettling. Maybe especially then.


4 Stars

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Directed by James Burrows (Audiobook) by James Burrows et al: Behind the Scenes of the Best Sit Coms

Directed by James BurrowsDirected by James Burrows
Five Decades of Stories
from the Legendary
Director of Taxi,
Cheers, Frasier, Friends,
Will & Grace, and More

by James Burrows, with Eddy Friedfeld; Narrated by James Burrows and Danny Campbell

DETAILS:
Publisher: Random House Audio
Publication Date: June 6, 2022
Format: Unabridged Audiobook
Length: 12 hrs., 18 min.
Read Date: September 23-26, 2022
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What’s Directed by James Burrows About?

This is largely a professional memoir about the long and storied career of TV director/producer James Burrows.

The book starts with a chapter and a half (or so) describing his childhood, early family life, and so on—talking about his father’s Broadway writing and directing a bit and how that did/didn’t influence his career choices. Then we get about a half-chapter talking about his education/theater work. Which is all a lead-up to his TV career. We get a little more of his personal life sprinkled in throughout the following chapters, but not much—Burrows knows the interest in his own story is in the stories he told—and more importantly—helped others to tell. That’s where the focus of the book is—he’s giving the people what they want.

And it feels like a pretty a fairly exhaustive tale of the various shows he worked on and his involvement in them, with an occasional interlude to talk about something like screwball comedy and why one would use it, with some examples from his own career. There’s no way it can be exhaustive—and it sure isn’t detailed by any means*—he’s got too much under his belt, but he comes close.

* That’s a description, not a criticism. Burrows gives plenty of details, but not blow-by-blow kind of stuff too often.

He starts with a discussion of his time on The Mary Tyler Moore Show where he learned from some of the best around how to do what he does—and a lot about comedy. Then he moves on to where he becomes a driving influence on the show—and that’s the majority of the book. Which is what’s named in the subtitle: Taxi, Cheers, Frasier, Friends, Will & Grace. There’s plenty covered in the “and More” for sure—including many things I hadn’t realized he’d worked on (but make a lot of sense knowing that he did). The book does cover what he did in 2020 and 2021, so it’s about as up-to-date as you could want.

The stories of these shows include a lot of how they came about in terms of writers and networks and what kind of story they were going to tell before moving into casting, shooting the early episodes, audience reception, and success. The bulk of the material is behind-the-scenes, but there are a lot of descriptions of what ends up on-screen (including short-to-lengthy portions of the script), and how it landed. Most of his work is done with a live studio audience, so the immediate audience reception is almost more important than the TV audience’s.

There are stories of failure, things not working out quite right—and how he/the show recovered—either immediately or long-term. But almost all of the book is about the successes (why give more than a few sentences, for example, to a pilot episode that less than 100 people have seen/will see?)

The Narration

Burrows has some performing in his background, but not a lot. And that’s pretty evident in the narration here. He’s just not that good—there’s very little feeling in it—even when he’s telling a story he clearly (and correctly ) thinks is funny, you don’t hear it. When it’s an emotional moment for him, you don’t hear it. His affect is pretty much the same no matter what he’s talking about, and that really hurts the book.

Also, when he’s reading dialogue from a scene? You wonder how an actor will listen to him and come up with a good way to deliver a line. That feels harsh to say, but that’s the way it struck me. I think here it’s a deliberate choice—my gut tells me it’s a desire not to try to do an impression of an actor (especially one that would come across as unflattering) or he could be avoiding trying to give a different/competing take on the line. I don’t know—it comes across as flat, and these lines shouldn’t.*

* See We Had a Little Real Estate Problem for where a similar approach to narration worked better.

I know Burrows can tell a good story—I’ve heard and seen him interviewed. But here, he just comes across as wooden.

So, what did I think about Directed by James Burrows?

It’s clear to readers of this blog that I read a lot, but I could’ve easily done a TV-watching blog—and started one about the same time as this (but that’s another story). James Burrows is one of the first non-actors whose name I recognized as creating the TV I watched back in elementary school, and his involvement in a show will definitely get me to watch at least an episode or two if I’m at all interested in the premise. I’m the target audience for this book, no doubt.

The material overcame the narration—the first chapter and a half were really rough, I couldn’t connect with it at all, and was thinking about giving up. But once he moved into TV, I got over the fact that I didn’t care for the narration and had a blast with the book. The man has many insights, anecdotes, and memories that TV fans will eat up, and shares many of them.

Directed by James Burrows is full of trivia, insights, and just great stories. If not hampered by the narration, I’d be gushing about this. Instead, I’m just giving a hearty recommendation. TV junkies? You’re going to want to get your hands on this one.


3.5 Stars

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Cyprian of Carthage: His Life and Impact by Brian J. Arnold: An Unfocused Introduction to the Father

Cyprian of CarthageCyprian of Carthage:
His Life & Impact

by Brian J. Arnold

DETAILS:
Series: The Early Church Fathers
Publisher: Christian Focus Publications
Publication Date: February 1, 2018
Format: Kindle Edition
Length: 138
Read Date: July 24, 2022
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The Series

In case you hadn’t read what I thought of the other book I’ve read in this series, let me start with the thumbnail description of the series I came up with:

I literally stumbled on to this series, The Early Church Fathers, a few weeks ago and thought it sounded like a great idea. It looked kind of like a mix of Crossway’s Theologians on the Christian Life and Oxford’s Very Short Introductions (incidentally, that’s what it ended up being).

What’s Cyprian of Carthage About?

Arnold has two aims for this short book: to introduce the third-century Father, Cyprian of Carthage, to his readers and to show that Cyprian has a use and significance for Christians today, especially as Arnold suggests that “Increasingly our world* looks more like Cyprian’s world.”

* Arnold seems to mean the Western world, perhaps, the United States, when he says “our world.”

Introducing Cyprian

Like the biography composed by Pontius, his contemporary, Arnold pretty much ignores Cyprian’s early years and starts with his conversion. It’s clear that he came from a prominent family, and seems to have held some noteworthy position in local government.

Soon after his conversion, he’s made bishop and it’s not long after that when he finds himself embroiled in controversies, some of which come out of the persecution of the Church. Arnold gives a quick overview of the nature of the controversies and Cyprian’s role and positions in each.

His Significance for Today

The latter part of the book focuses on “three areas where modern evangelicals would benefit by retrieving Cyprian: ecclesiology, virtue, and suffering and martyrdom.” Arnold sketches out each of these areas and points to how he thinks we could use the Father’s point of view.

So, what did I think about Cyprian of Carthage?

Because death and torture were always a possibility, Cyprian needed to make martyrdom appealing so that people would not drown in fear under the next wave of persecution.

The idea of making martyrdom appealing is pretty appalling to me. Sure, buttressing the faith of his people so they’d be able to stand fast during the next wave of persecution in the face of the possibility of martyrdom, is one thing. But making it appealing? Really?

Arnold also spends a lot of time discussing whether a certain period of history could be construed as a time of persecution—it’s an interesting question, and one probably worthy of debate with the scholar he’s focused on. But in a book of 138 pages, it’s not worth spending several paragraphs on the question.

I had a few other quibbles with his approach and some details of the writing. But it’s really not worth getting into.

This is a helpful volume, but it could’ve been better if Arnold had been a bit more focused on Cyprian and stayed out of extraneous areas. I do have a better appreciation for Cyprian, and I appreciate that. I just hoped for more.


3 Stars

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Quick Take Catch-Ups: Some July 2022 Audiobooks

Some quick thoughts on some audiobooks from July—and one I forgot to write about in June. The point of these quick takes posts is to catch up on my “To Write About” stack—emphasizing pithiness, not thoroughness.


Deep HoleDeep Hole

by Don Winslow, Ed Harris (Narrator)

DETAILS:
Publisher: Audible Originals
Publication Date: May 26, 2022
Format: Audible Original
Length: 1 hr., 4 min.
Read Date: June 9, 2022

(the official blurb)
I don’t know about this. I mean, it’s a short story, so I shouldn’t expect much from this. And it’s a decent story, but…eh. It left me wanting more on just about every front.

But it wasn’t a bad story—which makes sense, Winslow can’t write a bad story—and Harris sells it.
3 Stars

Long LostLong Lost

by Linda Castillo, Kathleen McInerney (Narrator)

DETAILS:
Series: Kate Burkholder, #4.5
Publisher: Macmillan Audio
Publication Date: September 5, 2016
Format: Unabridged Audiobook
Length: 1 hr., 25 min.
Read Date: July 7, 2022
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(the official blurb)
I wasn’t paying attention when I saw that this was the next entry for this series and checked it out of the library and was more than a little surprised when this wrapped up as quickly as it did. I was relieved, though, I didn’t think I could handle an entire novel where the setup was Kate and Tomasetti on a romantic weekend where they got distracted by a cold case.

As a short story, the concept and execution are just what you want. A nice way to tide the reader over between novels. I liked the resolution, too—sure, I saw it coming a few miles away, but Castillo ended it well.
3 Stars

My Mess Is a Bit of a LifeMy Mess Is a Bit of a Life:
Adventures in Anxiety

by Georgia Pritchett, Katherine Parkinson (Narrator)

DETAILS:
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication Date: September 5, 2016
Format: Unabridged Audiobook
Length: 4 hrs., 15 min.
Read Date: June 28, 2021
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(the official blurb)

This is a very amusingly told memoir, and you can see how Pritchett succeeded in comedy writing for TV. At the same time, that’s where it gets tripped up—the memories told are very brief, and almost always seem to be leading to a punchline (not necessarily a funny punchline, but a punchline). The result isn’t so much a memoir as loosely-associated scenes. There is a narrative throughout, but it’s subtle—the effect is like reading a sudden fiction collection that happens to be made up of true stories.

There are some really funny bits, some touching bits, and some good emotional moments. But…ugh. It’s like having a skeleton laid out on a table (I’m thinking of a shot from Bones or CSI: Wherever)—and I’d prefer to see some connective tissue between the bones—and maybe some organs and flesh to cover them, so that it’s an actual memoir, not the rough draft of one.
2 Stars

How the Penguins Saved VeronicaHow the Penguins Saved Veronica

by Hazel Prior, read by Helen Lloyd, Andrew Fallaize, Mandy Williams

DETAILS:
Series: Veronica McCreedy, #X
Publisher: Penguin Audio
Publication Date: June 16, 2020
Format: Unabridged Audiobook
Length: 10 hrs., 44 min.
Read Date: July 7-13, 2022
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(the official blurb)
A sweet, almost-paint-by-numbers story of an elderly curmudgeon finding hope, kindness, and family thanks to time spent on a penguin research base in Antarctica.

There’s one scene at the end that serves to answer the reader’s questions that would be better left unanswered. We’d have been better served if we’d been left with ambiguity. Still, for a bittersweet and unnecessary scene, it was effective.

I’m not sure three narrators were necessary—I think any one of the three could’ve handled the whole thing judging by what I heard, but it wasn’t overly-distracting as multiple-narrator audiobooks can be.

I enjoyed the book, it was a perfectly charming and entertaining novel, as negative as I sound to myself—and am glad I finally indulged my curiosity about the book. But…meh. I’ve seen this story before and done better.
3 Stars

The Diary of a BooksellerThe Diary of a Bookseller

by Shaun Bythell, Robin Laing (Narrator)

DETAILS:
Series: The Diary of a Bookseller, #1
Publisher: Blackstone Audio
Publication Date: September 4, 2018
Format: Unabridged Audiobook
Length: 9 hrs., 42 min.
Read Date: July 15-19, 2022
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(the official blurb)
I guess this would be the cure to any dreams/hopes/aspirations the reader might have to opening/buying a bookstore of their own. And the author certainly makes it clear that no one should do what he does—but it’s not like the book ends with him selling/closing down, in fact, he’s working to keep his store going.

The overall effect was like a James Herriott book—but with used books and readers in place of animals and their owners. Some pretty repetitive stories, just different enough to distinguish them—generally mildly amusing and engaging.

I had fun with it—would’ve enjoyed it a bit more if it were 20% shorter, I think. I do see that this is the beginning of a series. I’ll likely get the next installment, too. But I’m not rushing to do so.
3 Stars

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AMORALMAN by Derek DelGaudio: Engaging and Compelling, but Maybe Left Me with Too Many Questions

AMORALMANAMORALMAN:
A True Story and Other Lies

by Derek DelGaudio

DETAILS:
Publisher: Knopf
Publication Date: March 1, 2021
Format: Hardcover
Length: 235 pgs.
Read Date: July 11-12, 2022
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What’s AMORALMAN About?

Derek DelGaudio is a performer. writer, and illusionist. This book claims (and that subtitle should make you suspect everything) to be an account of DelGaudio’s childhood, his early interest in magic tricks and illusions—and then how he was introduced to card sharps, eventually becoming friends with some and learning how to use the card tricks he’d practiced for so long to become a cheat at cards.

At some point, he takes this theoretical knowledge into the practical—to help a good friend, despite that friend’s former insistence that DelGaudio not follow him into that life. After some time exposed to this lifestyle, he has to make a choice? What kind of man is he? What place does morality hold?

It’s tied throughout to Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, the role of the perceptions, reality, and the participants.

The Title

Obviously, DelGaudio is playing with things in the title. Is this book about a moral man? an amoral man? Is it a story without a moral?

How much of this is the true story and how much is a lie? It could be seen as a collection of stories—so is only one true, or is the overall narrative true, with a scattering of lies?

I’m mildly amused by that, but I really don’t think I care.

So, what did I think about AMORALMAN?

Ehhhhh. I wanted more. And not in a “this was so good, I’ve got to have more” kind of way, but in a “this was okay, but…is this all there was?” way. Ultimately, what we’re dealing with is a memoir that tells you upfront (and repeats it) that at least some of what you’re told is a lie—and probably not just from those people who are liars by vocation.

I thought the premise promised more. I expected to get something with a bit more meat on it. A bit more to chew on.

Still, DelGaudio can tell a story. You get engaged right away and you’re eager to see how this detached, disinterested, and largely aimless kid becomes the guy who stars in In & Of Itself*. We don’t get that answer, but it’s not hard to see the foundation being laid.

* And, yeah, I bought this book without knowing anything about it because of the film version.

I do think I’d read another book by DelGaudio—I’m curious about what else he has to offer. And I do think that people interested in his other work would find something compelling here. But that’s about as much as I can say—you won’t be wasting your time.


3 Stars

20 Books of Summer

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