Category: Fiction Page 5 of 338

How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying

by Django Wexler

DETAILS:
Series: Dark Lord Davi, #1
Publisher: Orbit
Publication Date: May 21, 2024
Format: Paperback
Length: 387 pg.
Read Date: December 3-6, 2025

I grin. “Fake it till you make it.”

I doubt whoever came up with that particular saying imagined it being applied by an aspiring Dark Lord, but it works. Half the job of being boss, after all, is acting like a boss, performing boss-ness, whether you’re gunning for the corner office or the big iron hat with spikes.

Unfortunately for me, a lot of that performance requires props I haven’t got, to wit: armies and weapons and piles of thaumite. But we’re going to do the best we can with what we ve got.

What’s How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying About?

This is going to be quick, because if you’re not intrigued by the premise, this isn’t going to be a book for you. Also, like The Martian, your appreciation for this book lives and dies with your appreciation of the protagonist and her narration. If you don’t like Davi almost instantly—or if you take an almost-instant dislike for her—save yourself the torture and find another book.

Davi woke up in a small pool/tub in a fantasy world after closing her eyes in ours. She remembers very little about her old life at the point we meet her, but that’s okay—what she does remember is her new life. A wizard approached her in the pool and told her it was the fulfillment of a prophecy—she goes with him to help the Kingdom against its enemies. Their efforts fail, and she dies. (not a spoiler, really)

She wakes up in the pool/tub and repeats the process—hundreds of times, dying in different ways and by the hands of various people and/or Dark Lords (higher than her official count, I’m not sure which lives go into her count and which don’t). Eventually—after a particularly prolonged death, Davi decides to stop trying to help the Kingdom and tries to become the Dark Lord instead. This is that story.

Also, now you understand the title.

A Pretty Big Caveat

Davi feels like she was trained in the use of “blue language” by Zoey Ashe and Teagan Frost*, and truly the student has surpassed the masters. And I really don’t know how to describe her sexual appetites. Thankfully, it’s all behind closed doors (or tent flaps)—but she doesn’t mind talking about it in the narration.

Go into it knowing that, and you’ll be okay. If that’s a red flag for you, (and I honestly feel like it maybe should be one for me), pay attention to it. Maybe instead of a flag, think of it as a red metal octagon.

* From Jason Pargin’s Zoey Ashe series and Jackson Ford’s Frost Files, respectively.

A Couple of Lines I Feel Compelled to Share

It’s the sort of plan where, were I to tell someone else about it, I’d say, “But you re not going to like it.” Since there’s no one here, I have to both propose the plan and be skeptical about it. You know you’re in a fix when you have to be your own straight man.

The problem with mountains—follow close here, this is complicated—is that they’re very tall.

Tall means hard to get over. Tall also means cold, and cold means snow and ice and all that awfulnes.

The beast is still coming, swinging easily across the cliff, ignoring the rain of fire arrows. It has apparently decided I am its one true prey, and that only rending me to pieces will make it feel complete. Which, honestly, kind of flattering in other circumstances, but not what I need right now.

The thing about people, in the main, is they don’t like getting stabbed. When presented with a stabby situation, they tend to say, “No, you know what, that’s all right. I’ll seek my entertainment elsewhere.” In a battle, this is balanced against the need to look tough in front of your buddies; people will tolerate a certain amount of stab risk to increase their chances of looking brave and possibly scoring with their gender of choice.

But, and this is important, there’s risking getting stabbed, and there’s definitely getting stabbed. Which is to say, when a disorderly mob of screaming wilders comes down a hill at you, it looks like they’re going to run headlong into your spears, but I promise you they won’t. People don’t run headlong into spears, it falls in the “definitely getting stabbed” category.

So, what did I think about How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying?

This is what being Dark Lord is all about. Betrayal, assassination, general evilness. I may try to keep the indiscriminate slaughter to a minimum, but there is going to be a certain amount of discriminate slaughter going on, it’s just part of the show.

First, there is so much more heart to this book than you might think. Really, it’s up there with a Hallmark movie. Scrape away the jaded nature of living hundreds of lives and dying in all but one of those (sometimes horribly), and Davi has a large heart and cares a lot for her “minions.”

Secondly, the action is really well-delivered. The battle scenes are well-done (but not overly detailed so as to slow down the action), the individual fight scenes are as good as you’re going to find out there. And the plot makes complete sense for what it is. The magic system isn’t one I’ve seen before—and it works well in this world.

This has got to be in the Top 5 funniest books I’ve read this year. Davi is full of sass, sarcasm, and obscure pop culture references (and she doesn’t mind making them to people who cannot understand them—she reminds me of Francis Xavier Flynn that way). Her observations and narration made me want to stretch out the reading so I could keep enjoying it (while I had no patience to find out what happens at the end).

Also, I’ve made my position concerning comedic footnotes very clear in the past—huge fan—and Wexler is great at them.

This was just a delight from start to finish. There were plenty of surprises—both in plot twists and character reveals. People into comedic fantasy should give it a try.

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