Category: Quotations Page 3 of 30

Highlights from September: Lines Worth Repeating

Highlights from the Month

Cover of Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

The tunnel is about 20 feet long. Or 7 meters. Man, being an American scientist sucks sometimes. You think in random, unpredictable units based on what situation you’re in.

…I don’t want to be in some other part of the ship if something interesting happens.

Just as I’m thinking that, something interesting happens.

Knock-knock-knock.

No, that’s not creepy at all. Being in a spaceship twelve light-years from home and having someone knock on the door is totally normal.

It’s a simple idea, but also stupid. Thing is, when stupid ideas work, they become genius ideas. We’ll see which way this one falls.

I cross my arms and slump into my pilot’s seat. There’s no gravity to properly slump with, so I have to make a conscious effort to push myself into the seat. I’m pouting, darn it, and I intend to do it right.


Cover of Chasing Embers by James Bennett

Chasing Embers by James Bennett

“I have seen your world, little beast. I have drunk of its terror and hope. Humans fear the darkness that gave them birth and harness the light to outshine the stars. They build machines that cough with smoke and poison the very air. They suck up the blood of the earth and pour filth into the seas. They speak boldly of freedom and peace and think they can buy them with war. Money is their temple and greed their god. They stand in defiance of all that is real, turning magic into myth, myth into Remnants, choosing to live in a cold dead dream.”


Cover of The Debt Collector by Steven Max Russo

The Debt Collector by Steven Max Russo

“You’re a good egg too, Gabby,” he said, smiling awkwardly. They each picked up their beers and clinked glasses. Just a little scrambled, he thought.


Cover of Nugget’s Tenth Life by Adam Holcombe

Nugget’s Tenth Life by Adam Holcombe

Brother yowled and turned to race down the buidling, but Nugget was made of sterner stuff (that stuff being the brilliant stupidity of youthfulness).


Cover of The Space Between Worlds by Micaiah Johnson

The Space Between Worlds by Micaiah Johnson

They say hunting monsters will turn you into one. That isn’t what’s happening now. Sometimes to kill a dragon, you have to remember that you breathe fire too. This isn’t a becoming: it’s a revealing. Ive been a monster all along.

“May your life be long and easy.”

It’s a common blessing out here, but I’ve never dissected it before, Why are we, who are so unhappy, fixated on long lives? What is the point? An easy life isn’t a blessing. Easy doesn’t mean happy. Ale doesn’t mean anything at all. Sometimes the path to an easy life makes you miserable. The only person I’ve ever heard value happiness is the former empress. She named her second son happy, hoping it would be true. She knew the cost of an easy life, and the uselessness of a long one. She had both. She wished neither for her child, only that he a some point be happy. Was he? Was anyone?

She smiles, less like she thinks I’m funny and more like she wanted prove she knows how.

…that’s what a sister is: a piece of yourself you can finally love, because it’s in someone else.

I’d love to stay. Forcing Dell into small talk is fun because she so bad at it with me. It’s like she’s being asked to communicate with a child or snake—something that is either boring or dangerous, with no in-between.

It burns, but that’s too simple a term. It burns like opening your eyes in the light burns, like being born probably burns. It doesn’t feel like my body is responding to a foreign substance, but like the substance is awakening cells usually dormant.

Death can be senseless, but life never is.

I told Esther before that nothing was inevitable, but that was before I felt so helpless to change absolutely anything at all.


Cover of An Inheritance of Magic by Benedict Jacka

An Inheritance of Magic by Benedict Jacka

I’ve always liked London at night. The noise and bustle of the day fades away, and in the quiet you can feel the presence of the city. It has its own nature, kind of like its own essentia—old, layered, and complex, man-made construction on top of millennia- old earth. Generation after generation of people, with the plants and animals of old Britain living with them side by side. It’s neat and chaotic and ancient and sprawling, and it’s my home.

It wouldn’t be the first time I’d broken the rules, but I’ve always had an instinctive feeling that there’s a difference between breaking the rules and doing something wrong.


Cover of How to Age Disgracefully by Clare Pooley

How to Age Disgracefully by Clare Pooley

Daphne raised her hand. Nobody noticed. Daphne stood up, her hand still raised. They still ignored her. Daphne did not like being ignored, in the early days of her career, she’d been overlooked on account of her sex, talked over and patronized by a series of self-important, untalented little misogynists. So much had improved in the intervening years, and she was glad to see that a couple of the Councilors at the meeting were female. But now, she was being ignored because of her age, she appeared to have jumped out of the frying pan of sexism and into the fire of ageism–the final frontier of -isms.


(Image by DaModernDaVinci from Pixabay)

Opening Lines: The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress by Robert A. Heinlein

Head & Shoulders used to tell us that, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” That’s true for wearing dark shirts, and it’s especially true for books. Sometimes the characters will hook the reader, sometimes the premise, sometimes it’s just knowing the author—but nothing beats a great opening for getting a reader to commit.

I see in Lwnava Pravda that Luna City Council has passed on first reading a bill to examine, license, inspect—and tax—public food vendors operating inside municipal pressure. I see also is to be mass meeting tonight to organize “Sons of Revolution” talk-talk.

My old man taught me two things: “Mind own business” and “Always cut cards.” Politics never tempted me. But on Monday 13 May 2075 I was in computer room of Lunar Authority Complex, visiting with computer boss Mike while other machines whispered among themselves. Mike was not official name; I had nicknamed him for Mycroft Holmes, in a story written by Dr. Watson before he founded IBM. This story character would just sit and think—and that’s what Mike did. Mike was a fair dinkum thinkum, sharpest computer you’ll ever meet.

Not fastest. At Bell Labs, Buenos Aires, down Earthside, they’ve got a thinkum a tenth his size which can answer almost before you ask. But matters whether you get answer in microsecond rather than millisecond as long as correct?

Not that Mike would necessarily give right answer; he wasn’t completely honest.

from The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress by Robert A. Heinlein
Cover of The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress by Robert A. Heinlein

Opening Lines Logo

Opening Lines: My Darkest Prayer by S.A. Cosby

Head & Shoulders used to tell us that, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” That’s true for wearing dark shirts, and it’s especially true for books. Sometimes the characters will hook the reader, sometimes the premise, sometimes it’s just knowing the author—but nothing beats a great opening for getting a reader to commit.

I handle the bodies.

That’s what I say when people ask me what I do for a living. I find that gets one of two responses. They drift away to the other side of the room and give me a sideways glance the rest of the night or they let out a nervous laugh and move the conversation in another, less macabre direction. I could always say I work at a funeral home, but where’s the fun in that?

Every once in a while, when I was in the Corps, someone would see me at Starbucks or that modern mecca Walmart in my utility uniform. Sometimes they’d catch me in my dress blues after a military ball just trying to grab something before heading back to the base. ‘They would walk up to me and say, “Thank you for your service.” I’d mumble something like “No, thank you for your support,” or some other pithy rejoinder, and they would wander away with a nice, satisfied look on their faces. Sometimes what I wanted to say was “I took care of the bodies, The bodies with the legs blown off or the hands shredded, The bodies full of ball bearings and nails and whatever tome kid could find to build his IED. I loaded the bodies up and dragged them back to the base, then went back out on another patrol and prayed to a God that seemed to be only half listening that today wasn’t the day that someone would have to take care of my body”

But I don’t think that would have given them the same warm and fuzzy feeling.

from My Darkest Prayer by S.A. Cosby
Cover of My Darkest Prayer by S.A. Cosby
(if you’re feeling pedantic, those are the first paragraphs of Chapter One, not the Prologue)

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Opening Lines: Blind to Midnight by Reed Farrel Coleman

Head & Shoulders used to tell us that, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” That’s true for wearing dark shirts, and it’s especially true for books. Sometimes the characters will hook the reader, sometimes the premise, sometimes it’s just knowing the author—but nothing beats a great opening for getting a reader to commit.

SEPTEMBER 11, 2001, 11:43 P.M.
He is the last man alive. Or at least, things would be less complicated if he were.

He is standing on the platform at the Smith and Ninth Street subway station. The tallest station in Brooklyn looms over the Gowanus Canal. The canal, so polluted with toxins and heavy metals that you don’t have to be Jesus to walk on its waters. A writer once joked it was the only body of water that was 90 percent guns. Nobody is joking tonight. Nobody! Not about anything.

The lone man is waiting for the G train. He smells the acrid windblown smoke continuing to rise from where the World Trade Center stood. His blue Mets cap is squashed low on his forehead, his eyes fixed on the pebbled concrete under his running shoes. He hopes that by not looking up he might be invisible. It makes no rational sense. Today the world stopped making sense. Still, he can’t help but peek at the place where the towers once stood. He quickly looks away. The pile smolders. Ash, shreds of paper, and carcinogenic dust still rise into the air, carried by the prevailing winds. A downy coating of gray snowflakes falls around him.

from Blind to Midnight by Reed Farrel Coleman
Cover of Blind to Midnight by Reed Farrel Coleman
Sure, picking up a Coleman novel, you know you’re not in for a romp. But starting off with that date, you know things are going to be grim–and the next three paragraphs emphasize that.

Opening Lines Logo

Highlights from August: Lines Worth Repeating

Highlights from the Month
I was certain that I’d get this posted in the first week of the month, and here we are on the last day of the month. Organization has not been my friend in September.
Cover of Mortal Coil by Derek Landy

Mortal Coil by Derek Landy

“They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit,” Valkyrie said.

China glanced at her. “They’ve obviously never met me.”

“Stairs,” Valkyrie said, disappointed.

“Not just ordinary stairs,” Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. “Magic stairs.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yes.”

She followed him into the darkness. “How are they magic?”

“They just are.”

“In what way?”

“In a magicky way.”

She glared at the back of his head. “They aren’t magic at all, are they?”

“Not really.”

“So he has no head.”

“Thats usually what headless means.”

“No head at all?”

“You’re really not getting the whole headless thing are you?”

“What about you?” he asked, his words not much more than a mumble. “Regrets?”

“Many,” Skulduggery said.

Tesseract’s breath rattled in his chest. “That’s the good thing about living. You get to make up for past mistakes.”

“Or make brand-new ones.”

“Zombies were an accident–much like champagne and penicillin, but much less welcome.”

“What a burden it must have been. You’re very brave for facing it alone.”

“Thank you,” she mumbled.

“Amazingly, astonishingly stupid, but brave.”

She cracked a smile. “Yeah.”

“Very foolish, is what I’m getting at.”

“I can see that.”

“This, basically. Just thick. Dumb as a bag of hammers. Not too bright there, Valkyrie.”

“You can really stop complimenting me now.”

“It might be a trap,” she said, speaking softly.

“Unlikely,” he whispered, traps are usually enticing.

“It might be a very rubbish trap.”

“Always a possibility.”

“I am neither a grinch nor a grouch. I like Christmas as much as the next person. So long as the next person is as unsentimental as I am.”

“I don’t want to threaten you in your own home,” Skulduggery said, “so if you’d like to step outside, I can threaten you there.”


Cover of Blood Reunion by JCM Berne

Blood Reunion by JCM Berne

“I’m—I have no idea how to respond to that. I’m sure I’ll think of something in the shower, three days from now.”

“I will wait for that eagerly.”

Ben reached over and patted the younger man’s knee. “You’re usually the one putting your life at risk for the sake of others, aren’t you? Not used to the turnaround.”

“It’s not the same, though. I don’t usually face certain-death to help other people. At most, it’s certain-pain. Maybe even certain-discomfort.”

“A certainly-torn-shirt.”

“Can you explain to me why it’s so difficult?”

“I doubt it.”

“Can you try? Use words you might use to explain to a monkey? A well-intentioned but slightly brain-damaged monkey that is hanging around your lab, asking annoying questions?”

“So… space penicillin?”

“You do realize that just putting the word ‘space’ in front of another word doesn’t magically create a new, fancier version of the thing you’re thinking of, don’t you?”

“I don’t know. I thought it did. Space ship. Space prostitute.”

“Wei Li, you sound more skeptical than usual. And your skepticism is usually sharp enough to cut through atoms or the fabric of spacetime.”


Cover of Fool Moon by Jim Butcher

Fool Moon by Jim Butcher

I was sitting there, sipping ale and thinking dark thoughts when the door opened again. I didn’t look up, occupied as I was with brooding, a famous pasttime of wizards everywhere.

Okay, Harry, I told myself. Keep calm. Do not panic. All you have to do is to hold them here until the cops get here, and then you can bleed to death in peace. Or get to a doctor. Whichever hurts less.

There’s more magic in a baby’s first giggle than in any firestorm a wizard can conjure up, and don’t let anyone tell you any different.

Alone. It’s one of those small words that means entirely too much. Like fear. Or trust.


Cover of Bard Tidings by Paul Regnier

Bard Tidings by Paul Regnie

Stumpy Jake manned the bar, eternally filling and cleaning glasses of ale and mead. Contrary to rumors, Jake did not have a wooden leg. But for some reason he enjoyed the nickname and did nothing to dispel the myth. In fact, he attached a wooden block to his heel so he’d make a clomping sound when he walked across the floor. He thought it added character to his establishment.


Cover of Panacea by Alex Robins

Panacea by Alex Robins

War is not a game. It is a penance. A price to pay for failure. The last possible solution when there are no other options. Do not wish for it. Do not strive for it. Victory is ephemeral. Death is eternal.”

Most people believed that war was the worst of humanity’s sins, for it could never create, only destroy. But Elena knew that wasn’t quite true. War excelled in creating many things: poverty and famine. Sickness and disease. Orphans and widows.

“…as luck would have it, hair-brained plans are my forte.”


Cover of Moon Over Soho by Ben Aaronovitch

Moon Over Soho by Ben Aaronovitch

Murder investigations start with the victim because usually in the first instance that’s all you’ve got. The study of the victim 1s called victimology because everything sounds better with an ology tacked on the end. To make sure that you make a proper fist of this, the police have developed the world’s most useless mnemonic: 5 x WH & H. Otherwise known as Who? What? Where? When? Why? & How? Next time you watch a real murder investigation on the TV and you see a group of serious-looking detectives standing around talking, remember that what they’re actually dome is trying to work out what sodding order the mnemonic is supposed to go in. Once they’ve sorted that out, the exhausted officers will retire to the nearest watering hole for a drink and a bit of a breather.

Every male in the world thinks he’s an excellent driver. Every copper who’s ever had to pick an eyeball out of a puddle knows that most of them are kidding themselves.

Just about every council estate I know has a set of communal rooms. There’s something about stacking people up in egg boxes that makes architects and town planners believe that having a set of communal rooms will compensate for not having a garden or, in some designs, enough room to swing a cat. Perhaps they fondly imagine that the denizens of the estate will spontaneously gather for colorful proletarian festivals and cat-swinging contests.

For a terrifying moment I thought he was going to hug me, but fortunately we both remembered we were English just time. Still, it was a close call.


Cover of Ways and Truths and Lives by Matt Edwards

Ways and Truths and Lives by Matt Edwards

“That’s an interesting way to look at it, I guess.”

“Well, that’s the secret, James.”

“What?”

“Looking at things,” Cynthia said with her eyes momentarily fixed on James. “Looking at things differently. Looking at things under a different light Looking at things from the light.” Her eyes bounced around the room at various objects.

“But what’s it the secret to?”

Cynthia paused to take a sip of coffee before answering. “Everything.”


Cover of Zero Stars Do Not Recommend by MJ Wassmer

Zero Stars Do Not Recommend by M.J. Wassmer

He had a softness about him, like a favorite armchair come to life.

His eyes protruded from their sockets like someone was squeezing the sides of his head, and goodness, his breath was less than fresh. That was one thing they didn’t touh on in post-apocalyptic movies. Human beings turn rank in a matter of days. We don’t keep well.

They sound like wasps. That was the best way Dan could think of to describe the bullets, like wasps shooting past his ear. Pissed off wasps. Wasps on a mission to finish some wasp-related business.

Mara gasped again. She was a great gasper. If Fitzgerald wrote a book about her, it’d be titled, The Great Gaspy, because there was something very haunting about a Mara gasp, something bone-chilling.

Never underestimate the fragility of a man’s ego, especially one wearing camouflage pants.

The car ride immediately following an argument is always awkward. And it turns out that’s especially true if the argument is concluded by someone being pummeled over the head with a snow globe.


(Image by DaModernDaVinci from Pixabay)

Highlights from July: Lines Worth Repeating

Highlights from the Month
Cover of Winter Lost

Winter Lost by Patricia Briggs

He was so in love with Mary Jo it made me feel like songs should start spontaneously playing anytime they were together.


Cover of The Last King of California by Jordan Harper

The Last King of California by Jordan Harper

Murder is a type of magic. It has powers so a single person killed with intention can haunt the world more than a million lives ended by car crashes or cancer.

Again he has that feeling like he’s standing with his toes poking over the edge of this flat earth. He thinks on something he read in a novel in Intro to World Lit, before he quit going to class altogether. About how when you peek over the side of a cliff and get that swooshing feeling in your belly, that it isn’t a fear of falling. In fact, the book said, it is the opposite. Vertigo is the fight in your mind between the part that wants to save you and the part that wants to fall.

[She] takes shallow breaths to deal with the smell. [His]’s place doesn’t smell like death. Death doesn’t smell like anything. It’s the hungry slime of life that stinks.

Life grabs you in its jaws like a bear and all the flailing around and the screaming you do while it eats you, that’s what we call free will. Like the bear’s not there, like all this wailing and fury and fucking up everything is just what we choose to do.

Then maybe once or twice in a life you see someone flip loose from the bear’s mouth altogether and walk free through the world, and it scares the hell out of you.


Cover of Storm Front by Jim Butcher

Storm Front by Jim Butcher

“Paranoid? Probably. But just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean there isn’t an invisible demon about to eat your face.”

Never let it be said that Harry Dresden is afraid of a dried, dead bug. Creepy or not, I wasn’t going to let it ruin my concentration.

So I scooped it up with the corner of the phone book and popped it into the middle drawer of my desk. Out of sight, out of mind.

So I have a problem with creepy, dead, poisonous things. So sue me.


Cover of The Camelot Shadow by Sean Gibson

The Camelot Shadow by Sean Gibson

He raised his eyes to the window to watch as snowflakes fell from the sky with a nonchalance that seemed defiantly at odds with their short lifespans.

“I understand you are a highly regarded scholar.”

“I suppose you might say that I know quite a lot about very little of consequence.”

Fridays are very agreeable days, perhaps owing to their position in the week. Whatever the reason, I find them very accommodating, days that one can depend upon to provide succor no matter what ignominious events Tuesdays and those dastardly Thursdays have wrought.

He was a trim man of average height whose lips curled in a perpetual smirk, one that indicated both his willingness to be amused by life and his expectation that life do something to reward that willingness.

“If wits are to be our primary weapon, I fear that we may be bringing a metaphorical bayonet to a gunfight.”

“I would have said an olive fork.”

“I’m not very good at not knowing what I can’t do.”


Cover of The Last Devil to Die by Richard Osman

Last Devil to Die by Richard Osman

Days of death are days when we weigh our relationship with love in our bare hands. Days when we remember what has gone, and fear what is to come. The joy love brings, and the price we pay. When we give thanks but also pray for mercy.


Cover of Swiped by LM Chilton

Swiped by L.M. Chilton

But just as I was about to close the app, an emoji popped up on the screen.

Of course, it was the fucking winky face, my least favorite of all the emojis, the text equivalent of yelling, “Not!” after a sentence.

I always thought that Sarah had an overly-romanticized view of marriage. Her parents had the sort of relationship you only see in Richard Curtis movies–dedicated, loving, and solid as a rock. She’d grown up in a gorgeous and massive cottage in Haywoods-Heath, surrounded by idyllic countryside, and while she didn’t technically own a pony–I was pretty sure that she hung out with one on a regular basis.It was classic British rom-com territory, so no wonder she always dreamed of a bumbling English fop to sweep her off her feet.

I was so angry at the world I just wanted to shut everything away. His manic pixie dream girl had curled into a pangolin of grief, and I couldn’t blame him for slowly backing off.

(“pangolin of grief” might be the best phrase I read this month)


Cover to A Study In Scarlet Women by Sherry Thomas

A Study In Scarlet Women by Sherry Thomas

“Well, I for one, thought your hypothesis was remarkably elegant. It really is too bad that sometimes inconvenient facts surface to thumb their noses at remarkably elegant hypotheses.”

“Poo to inconvenient facts.”


Cover to This Is Who We Are Now by James Bailey

This Is Who We Are Now by James Bailey

I’m struck by how much thinner his hair is than last summer, when it was thinner than the time before. It disappears in half lives, always tending toward complete baldness but never quite getting there.

Danny drives the way he does everything else. Overconfidently.


Cover to Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovich

Midnight Riot/Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch

Being a seasoned Londoner, Martin gave the body The London-Once-Over, a quick glance to determine whether this was a drunk, a crazy, or a human being in distgress. The fact that it was entirely possible for someone to be all three simultaneously is why Good Samaritan in London is considered an Extreme Sport, like base jumping or crocodile wrestling.

If you ask any police officer what the worst part of the job is, they will always say breaking bad news to relatives, but this is not the truth. The worst part is staying in the room after you’ve broken the news, so that you’re forced to be there when someone’s life disintegrates around them. Some people say it doesn’t bother them—such people are not to be trusted.


(Image by DaModernDaVinci from Pixabay)

Highlights from May & June: Lines Worth Repeating

Highlights from the Month
June slipped away without me taking care of May. So, it’s time for a little catchup.
Christa Comes Out of Her Shell

Christa Comes Out of Her Shell by Abbi Waxman

If it’s possible to blush all the way down to your DNA, I did it.

It felt very much like home all of a sudden, like a familiar book released in a new edition.


Chasing Empty Caskets

Chasing Empty Caskets by E.N. Crane

“Winnie, seek,” I said, letting her lead me. She was following the boy’s scent back the way he came and I followed her, grudgingly taking the sticky hand. It was small and somehow both wet and freezing. Children were a terrifying medical anomaly, and I suddenly understood why the ladies in mommy groups were nuts.


The Olympian Affair

The Olympian Affair by Jim Butcher

Bayard is a born hero, which is the larval form of a dead hero.

Ransom shook her head. “Some people think that if they’re simply insane and ruthless enough, they can accomplish anything.”

“Terrifying,” Espira said.

“Oh, that’s not the terrifying part,” Calliope said.

“No?”

“The terrifying part,” she murmured, “is that sometimes they’re right.”

Bridget rather forgot how to be conscious for some indistinct length of time.


All Systems Red

All Systems Red by Martha Wells

I liked the imaginary people on the entertainment feed way more than I liked real ones, but you can’t have one without the other.

You may have noticed that when I do manage to care, I’m a pessimist.


Grave Cold

Grave Cold by Shannon Knight

They’d reached her truck. “Nyle, meet the Gremlin, a machine you will love to hate.” The yellow truck looked very much up to the task.

One’s own mortality was a mighty incentive.


Backpacking Through Bedlam

Backpacking Through Bedlam by Seanan McGuire

Family is complicated. Peach cobbler, on the other hand, is refreshingly simple.

“The laws of physics aren’t negotiable.”

Darius laughed, and the sound was loud and joyous as he set his hands back on the wheel. “Sure they are. There’s no law that’s not negotiable, if you know how to get your shoulder against it and push.”

Always be polite to she shapeshifting super predator. It’s a simple rule of life, but a good one all the same.


Dark Days

Dark Days by Derek Landy

“Sometimes you’ve got to admit it when you’re wrong.”

“You never admit it when you’re wrong.”

“But I’m rarely wrong, you see. You, on the other hand, are wrong a bizzarly large amount of the time. Statistically, it’s quite amazing.”


The Ink Black Heart

The Ink Black Heart by Author

He was starting to feel like a truffle pig doing its job in a room full of incense, dead fish, and strong cheese.


First Frost

First Frost by Author

I’d taken the frontage road, but I think I might’ve accidentally taken a few other turns, and now here we were in what might be the middle of nowhere—and when a guy from Wyoming refers to a place as the middle of nowhere that truly means the epicenter of nowhere.

I said nothing, which, when there was a stenographer in the room, was always a safe bet.


Cover image for the audiobook of Paper and Blood by Kevin Hearne

Paper & Blood by Kevin Hearne

Grief is never easy. But it gets softer around the edges, smoothed over like a river rock given time enough and water. It’s still a rock and it’s heavy and dangerous and capable of hurting you. Just not immediately to the touch, if that makes sense.

When the sky slid from indigo to grey, heralding the dawn, the birds began to wake up and call about their urgent need for Wednesday coffee— or so I imagined. I certainly needed some, as a belligerent caffeine-withdrawal headache had taken up residence in my brain and likely had legal arguments against eviction.

From pulp—utterly lifeless pulp—new life can be born. Add water and pressure and you no longer have mere pulp but a medium for the miraculous. It can carry the words of one lover to another. Express gratitude for gifts and thoughts. Invoice a client. Threaten death. Bear the light touch of poetry or the weighty prose of novels. It can be folded into an airplane, to annoy your teacher, or folded into origami, an artistic appreciation of nature made from wholesome natural ingredients. And on and on. So much can be built from the ruin of plant life.

Which is not to say that humans are noble. We ruin so much else that never gets a new life, and their dissolution—their extinction—is final.

But paper is one thing we got right.

The best we can do sometimes, in absence of actual wisdom, is to simply cease being foolish.


Cover image to E Rathke's Howl

Howl by e rathke

To look back on that day is to sink into a delicate memory. Like a love letter sent to myself, yet left to pulp in the rain.


Cover for the audiobook of The Bitter Past by Bruce Borgos

The Bitter Past by Bruce Borgos

I believe in hunches. I think they’re just the dots in your brain that aren’t fully connected yet.


Cover of the audiobook for Erasure by Percival Everett

Erasure by Percival Everett

There are as many hammers as there are saws, the misplaced thumb knows no difference.

A reiteration of the obvious is never wasted on the oblivious.

I was lonely, angrier than I had been in a long time, angrier than when I was an angry youth, but now I was rich and angry. I realized how much easier it was to be angry when one is rich.

What some people would have you believe is that Duchamp demonstrated that art could be made out of anything, that there is nothing special about an object d’art that makes it what it is, that all that matters is that we are willing to allow it to be art. To say, “this is a work of art” is a strange kind of performative utterance as when the king knights a fellow or the judge pronounces a couple man and wife. But if it turns out that the marriage license was incorrectly filled out, then the declaration is undone and we will say, “I guess you’re not husband and wife after all.” But even as it’s thrown out of the museum, what has been called art it is still art. Discarded art. Shunned art. Bad art. Misunderstood art. Oppressed art. Shocked art. Lost art. Dead art. Art before its time. Artless art. But art nonetheless.


Cover for The Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi

Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi

“I like land,” I said. “I don’t drown there.”

“Any dietary restrictions?”

“I tried being a vegan for a while, but I couldn’t live without cheese.”

“They have vegan cheese.”

“No, they don’t. They have shredded orange and white sadness that mocks cheese and everything it stands for.”

“That thing looks like H. P. Lovecraft’s panic attack.”

It was stupidly perfect how all my problems were suddenly solved with the strategic application of money.


Cover for Detours and Do-Overs by Wesley Parker

Detours and Do-overs by Wesley Parker

Since she doesn’t wanna talk, I do what I assume most men do when confronted with crippling silence from their significant other.

I start to rationalize shit.

“How you holding up?” she says.

“Like a Jenga tower in the middle of a bunch of drunks,”


Cover for Grammar Sex by Robert Germaux

Grammar Sex and Other Stuff by Robert Germaux

Don’t you just love it when a professional athlete ends a long holdout and finally signs that new deal worth multiple millions of dollars, but assures everyone that “it wasn’t about the money”? Bless his little heart. As if any reference to cold hard cash would have somehow sullied the whole salary negotiation process.

(Image by DaModernDaVinci from Pixabay)

Opening Lines: One In the Chamber by Robin Peguero

Head & Shoulders used to tell us that, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” That’s true for wearing dark shirts, and it’s especially true for books. Sometimes the characters will hook the reader, sometimes the premise, sometimes it’s just knowing the author—but nothing beats a great opening for getting a reader to commit.

You aren’t born a killer. You don’t gradually become one, either. One minute, you’re not, and the next, you just are. Like your first time having sex. Just as thrilling. Just as awkward. Nothing much changes but the label. you’re still you. But now, you’re a quote-unquote murderer. You played God and took a human life.

It’s entirely natural, but it still shocks people. Some people want other people dead. We visualize our goals, and we achieve them. Shouldn’t that be celebrated?

You swish someone wanted you dead. Not that you have a death wish. You’re too self-involved for that, and suicide is so gauche. you just wish you were that important to someone. It’s a compliment really: to have given another person’s endpoint more than a passing thought. To decide for them that today is enough. And not just today, but at this very minute, their contribution to history should meet its unceremonious finish. High Flattery.

You’re welcome.

from One In the Chamber by Robin Peguero
Cover to One in the Chamber
I’m not sure what happens over the next 369 pages (in a sense). I just want almost 400 pages like this.

Opening Lines Logo

Highlights from April: Lines Worth Repeating

Highlights from the Month
This is two months in a row where I’ve posted this in its closing days. I’m going to (try to) finish the May version this weekend. I know I’m the only one who cares, but it niggles at the back of my mind. There’s no theme this month, which is fine, but I enjoy it when one emerges. I’m babbling for the sake of babbling here it seems, like Skulguggery below I’ve lost track of this, so I’m just going to get on with things.
The Faceless Ones

Skulduggery Pleasant: The Faceless Ones Trilogy by Derek Landy

They both got out and opened the bonnet. “Well,” her mother said, looking at the engine, “at least that’s still there.”

“Do you know anything about engines?” Stephanie asked.

“That’s why I have a husband, so I don’t have to. Engines and shelves—that’s why man was invented.”

Stephanie made a mental note to learn about enginges before she turned eighteen. She wasn’t too fussed about the shelves.

“Am I going mad?”

“I hope not.”

“So you’re real, you actually exist?”

“Presumably.”

“You mean you’re not sure if you exist or not?”

“I’m fairly certain, I mean I could be wrong. I could be some ghastly hallucination, a figment of my imagination.”

“You might be a figment of your own imagination?”

“Stranger things have happened. And do, with alarming regularity.”

Every solution to every problem is simple. It’s the distance between the two where the mystery lies.

Her parents wanted her to find her own way in life. That’s what they’d said countless times in the past. Of course, they’d been referring to school subjects and college applications and job prospects. Presumably, at no stage did they factor living skeletons and magic underworlds into their considerations. If they had, their advice would probably have been very different.

“What does a clue look like?” Tanith whispered.

Stephanie fought the giggle down and whispered back. “I’m looking for a footprint or something.”

“Have you found one yet?”

“No. But that’s probably because I haven’t moved from this spot.”

“Maybe we should move, pretend we know what we’re doing.”

“Skulduggery,” the tall man said eventually, his voice deep and resonant, “trouble follows in your wake, doesn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t say follows,” Skulduggery answered. “It more kind of sits around and waits for me to get there.”

“I want you all to know, ” Skulduggery said, “that we are the first line of defense. In fact, we’re practically the only line of defense. If we fail, there won’t be a whole lot that anyone else will be able to do. what I’m trying to say, is that, failure at this point, isn’t really the smart move to make. We are not to fail—do I make myself absolutely clear? Failure is bad. It won’t help us in the short term, and certainly won’t do us any favors in the long run. And I think I’ve lost track of this speech, and I’m not too sure where it’s headed, but I know where it started and that’s what you’ve got to keep in mind.”

“Cheer up everyone, since we’re all going to die horribly anyway, what’s there to be worried about?”

“I’m placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don’t know, possibly littering.”


You'd Look Better as a Ghost

You’d Look Better as a Ghost by Joanna Wallace

…I’m beginning to realize I’ve never given grief the respect it deserves. Drawing no distinction between strong, weak, rich or poor, it plows through everyone’s lives the same, leaving identical mounds of emotional debris behind.


Raw Dog

Raw Dog by Jamie Loftus

Hot dogs are the kind of American that you know there is something deeply wrong with but still find endearing.


Dietrich

Dietrich by Don Winslow

Big John was face down in a sphere of dried blood. Someone put two in the back of his head. “Natural causes?” Dietrich thinks, “you get two bullets in the head, naturally you’re going to die.”

They say that water is the most powerful erosive force in the world, it wears away rock, it cuts canyons. But sorrow, too, erodes. You see so much sadness on this job. it wears you down year after year, murder after murder, heartbreak after heartbreak. It washes away joy, carries it downstream like silt. But slowly, you don’t see it happening, you don’t really feel it, and then one day you wake up and you realize you no longer have the capacity for happines.


Woman in White

Woman in White by Wilkie Collins

But the Law is still, in certain inevitable cases, the pre- engaged servant of the long purse…

Shall I confess it, Mr. Hartright?— I sadly want a reform in the construction of children. Nature’s only idea seems to be to make them machines for the production of incessant noise.

Some of us rush through life, and some of us saunter through life. Mrs. Vesey SAT through life. Sat in the house, early and late; sat in the garden; sat in unexpected window-seats in passages; sat (on a camp-stool) when her friends tried to take her out walking; sat before she looked at anything, before she talked of anything, before she answered Yes, or No, to the commonest question…

A mild, a compliant, an unutterably tranquil and harmless old lady, who never by any chance suggested the idea that she had been actually alive since the hour of her birth. Nature has so much to do in this world, and is engaged in generating such a vast variety of co-existent productions, that she must surely be now and then too flurried and confused to distinguish between the different processes that she is carrying on at the same time. Starting from this point of view, it will always remain my private persuasion that Nature was absorbed in making cabbages when Mrs. Vesey was born, and that the good lady suffered the consequences of a vegetable preoccupation in the mind of the Mother of us all.

The best men are not consistent in good—why should the worst men be consistent in evil?


Spelunking Through Hell

Spelunking Through Hell by Seanan McGuire

… when you’re already talking about people who have twenty-eight words for “wound” but only two for “friend,” you don’t want to deal with them when they get cranky.


The Botanist

The Botanist by M.W. Craven

‘I didn’t want you thinking I’d panicked. I didn’t want you thinking less of me.’

Poe was lost for words. ‘Why would I think less of you?’ he said eventually. ‘You’d just found your father’s corpse. There was a bullet hole in his head. If you can’t panic then, when can you?’

Poe had optimistically hoped that Stahl’s flat might be like a grease-spattered kettle — filthy on the outside but sparkling on the inside. He was wrong. if anything, the interior was worse than the exterior.

The discoloured carpet was littered with crushed beer cans, vodka bottles and containers from what looked like every takeaway in Plaistow. A teetering stack of empty pizza boxes reached for the tobacco-stained ceiling like a cardboard stalagmite. Scattered rodent droppings made it look as though someone had dropped a packet of raisins.

And the smell … It was somehow both cloyingly sweet and acrid. Although Poe could smell vomit, urine and faeces, the overriding smell was stale alcohol. It seemed Stahl had hit rock bottom, then taken the elevator down a few more floors.

Poe’s eyes began to sting. Flynn put a tissue over her mouth and nose, didn’t even try to hide her disgust.

‘It’s the maid’s week off,’ Stahl said.

Douglas Salt was too tall for his build. If he’d been four inches shorter he might have got away with it, but at six-foot-five he just looked weird, like he’d been put through a pasta machine. He had compensated as best he could. His face was tanned and symmetrical and his teeth were whiter than snow. Poe suspected his tan came out of a bottle, surgeons had sculptured his face, and his teeth had been bleached until they were down to the quick. His hair was ordered and neat. He wore cream chinos, a polo shirt and, despite being indoors and in his own home, he had a pink jumper slung over his shoulders. For some reason, he reminded Poe of American cheese.

(Image by DaModernDaVinci from Pixabay)

Towel Day ’24: Some of my favorite Adams lines . . .

(updated 5/25/24)

Towel Day

There’s a great temptation here for me to go crazy and use so many quotations that I’d get in copyright trouble. I’ll refrain from that and just list some of his best lines . . .*

* The fact that this list keeps expanding from year to year says something about my position on flirting with temptation.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

This must be Thursday. . . I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

“You’d better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace. It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.”

“What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?”

“You ask a glass of water.”

(I’m not sure why, but this has always made me chuckle, if not actually laugh out loud. It’s just never not funny. It’s possibly the line that made me a fan of Adams)

He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centuari. And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before . . .

“Look,” said Arthur, “would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.

<

blockquote>“Space,” [The Guide] says, “is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to space, listen…”

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.


The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

It is a curious fact, and one to which no one knows quite how much importance to attach, that something like 85 percent of all known worlds in the Galaxy, be they primitive or highly advanced, have invented a drink called jynnan tonnyx, or gee-N-N-T’Nix, or jinond-o-nicks, or any one of a thousand or more variations on the same phonetic theme. The drinks themselves are not the same, and vary between the Sivolvian “chinanto/mnigs” which is ordinary water served at slightly above room temperature, and the Gagrakackan “tzjin-anthony-ks” which kills cows at a hundred paces; and in fact the one common factor between all of them, beyond the fact that the names sound the same, is that they were all invented and named before the worlds concerned made contact with any other worlds.

Reality is frequently inaccurate.

Life is wasted on the living.


Life, The Universe and Everything

Life, the Universe, and Everything

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of flying. There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

(It goes on for quite a while after this—and I love every bit of it.)

“One of the interesting things about space,” Arthur heard Slartibartfast saying . . . “is how dull it is?”

“Dull?” . . .

“Yes,” said Slartibartfast, “staggeringly dull. Bewilderingly so. You see, there’s so much of it and so little in it.”


So Long, and Thanks For All The Fish

So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

Of course, one never has the slightest notion what size or shape different species are going to turn out to be, but if you were to take the findings of the latest Mid-Galactic Census report as any kind of accurate guide to statistical averages you would probably guess that the craft would hold about six people, and you would be right. You’d probably guessed that anyway. The Census report, like most such surveys, had cost an awful lot of money and told nobody anything they didn’t already know—except that every single person in the Galaxy had 2.4 legs and owned a hyena. Since this was clearly not true the whole thing eventually had to be scrapped.

Here was something that Ford felt he could speak about with authority. “Life,” he said, “is like a grapefruit.”

“Er, how so?”

“Well, it’s sort of orangy-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It’s got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast.”

“Is there anyone else out there I can talk to?”

Arthur had a swordfish steak and said it made him angry. He grabbed a passing waitress by the arm and berated her. “Why’s this fish so bloody good?” he demanded, angrily.

“Please excuse my friend,” said Fenchurch to the startled waitress. “I think he’s having a nice day at last.”


Mostly Harmless

Mostly Harmless

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

Fall, though, is the worst. Few things are worse than fall in New York. Some of the things that live in the lower intestines of rats would disagree, but most of the things that live in the lower intestines of rats are highly disagreeable anyways, so their opinion can and should be discounted.


Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

There is no point in using the word ‘impossible’ to describe something that has clearly happened.

If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.

Let’s think the unthinkable, let’s do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.

(I’ve often been tempted to get a tattoo of this)


The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

There are some people you like immediately, some whom you think you might learn to like in the fullness of time, and some that you simply want to push away from you with a sharp stick.

It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, ‘As pretty as an airport.’

The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks.

She stared at them with the worried frown of a drunk trying to work out why the door is dancing.

It was his subconscious which told him this—that infuriating part of a person’s brain which never responds to interrogation, merely gives little meaningful nudges and then sits humming quietly to itself, saying nothing.

As she lay beneath a pile of rubble, in pain, darkness, and choking dust, trying to find sensation in her limbs, she was at least relieved to be able to think that she hadn’t merely been imagining that this was a bad day. So thinking, she passed out.


The Last Chance to See

The Last Chance to See

“So what do we do if we get bitten by something deadly?” I asked.

He looked at me as if I were stupid. “You die, of course. That’s what deadly means.”

I’ve never understood all this fuss people make about the dawn. I’ve seen a few and they’re never as good as the photographs, which have the additional advantage of being things you can look at when you’re in the right frame of mind, which is usually around lunchtime.

I have the instinctive reaction of a Western man when confronted with sublimely incomprehensible. I grab my camera and start to photograph it.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

The aye-aye is a nocturnal lemur. It is a very strange-looking creature that seems to have been assembled from bits of other animals. It looks a little like a large cat with a bat’s ears, a beaver’s teeth, a tail like a large ostrich feather, a middle finger like a long dead twig and enormous eyes that seem to peer past you into a totally different world which exists just over your left shoulder.

One of the characteristics that laymen find most odd about zoologists is their insatiable enthusiasm for animal droppings. I can understand, of course, that the droppings yield a great deal of information about the habits and diets of the animals concerned, but nothing quite explains the sheer glee that the actual objects seem to inspire.

I mean, animals may not be intelligent, but they’re not as stupid as a lot of human beings.


The Salmon of Doubt

The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.

I’ve come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies:
1. Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.
2. Anything that’s invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.
3. Anything invented after you’re thirty-five is against the natural order of things.


And a couple of lines I’ve seen in assorted places, articles, books, and whatnot

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

A learning experience is one of those things that says, “You know that thing you just did? Don’t do that.”

The fact is, I don’t know where my ideas come from. Nor does any writer. The only real answer is to drink way too much coffee and buy yourself a desk that doesn’t collapse when you beat your head against it.

Solutions nearly always come from the direction you least expect, which means there’s no point trying to look in that direction because it won’t be coming from there.

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