The Ballad of Bonaduke—
Episode 36: Roadside Assistance
DETAILS: Series: The Ballad of Bonaduke, #37 Format: Kindle Vella Story Read Date: October 19, 2023
“C’mon, we need to get going.” His words pinballed in my mind and took me a couple seconds to take hold. He offered me a hand.
“I don’t think I can.”
“I told you, I can’t leave you, and we need to go before we draw any more attention.”
“No, I mean I don’t think I can move.” I said barely clinging to consciousness. Looking down I could see how bad I was beat up. A wet borrowed shirt, covered in blood and watered down ink was now torn in a dozen places. Beneath which were scraps and gouges at various points of bleeding. My legs and jeans were not looking much better.
I also seemed to have lost a boot.
The Story So Far…
A drunken Michael Bonaduke decides to use a grift (with maybe some sort of magic/magic-like “help”) to win on a scratch-off lottery ticket so he has money to buy more to drink. He pulls off whatever he did, gets his money and some booze and stumbles off into the darkness to drink himself into oblivion so he can start again the next day. He’s hit by dark memories (probably what’s driving him to the drinking) of fire, pleading, and screaming. There’s going to be a price to pay for his grift, and he’s trying to be ready.
He’s abducted by some representatives of a mysterious group who subject him to a test—if he passes, everything will be explained to him (and hopefully the reader, too). He passes—and is brought somewhere for answers, or maybe training, or maybe another test. Time will tell (or things are going to get really annoying). Answers aren’t quick to come—but the mysteries and questions keep piling up.
Things get hairy and Bonaduke leaves and finds himself back in the neighborhood he started from. He takes refuge in a homeless encampment shortly before a police raid. He’s apprehended and finds himself an interrogation room and shortly escapes after using his grift (but with results he didn’t quite intend). He finds himself by a group of squatters who seem to have strapped a woman to a chair for reasons that can’t be good. He attempts to rescue her before he even realizes what he’s doing, and seems to have succeeded—well, the two of them got away from the group anyway—breathing but bruised. They make their way to a fast-food taco joint and Bonaduke really needs to refuel to keep going. He tries, but fails to get food because he keeps passing out. Thankfully, the clerk is the same guy from the liquor store and he both recognizes him and gives him first aid. The woman (Zero) wakes up and shows some abilities of her on as she helps them escape from her captors who’ve tracked her down. One thing leads to another—Zero and Bonaduke’s magics don’t mix well (at least until they understand what each other can do?), and they end up in a video-game race against the squatters in a tricked-out version of Eric (the clerk’s) car. Note, I said video-game race, not a video-game-style race. They’re actually in one. When dumped back into reality, he’s surrounded by bruised and broken bodies (of people and cars).
What’s Last Leg About?
It takes some work for Bonaduke to pull himself together after the ending of Episode 36–no matter what he knows really happened, his mind saw something else. And you just can’t shrug that off.
But he has to get moving–Zero helps him (one boot and all) to the car so they can go get some medical attention, get off the street, and regroup.
Eric’s not doing well–everything he’s experienced is so far from what he’s capable of understanding that his mind is having a hard time coping.
And, well, that’s about it, really.
So, what did I think about Last Leg?
This felt longer than usual (but I’m not doing word counts, so who knows). Which is good–things got to breathe a little bit. This is still very much a transition from the last mini-arc to the next, but Slaywood accomplished a little more than that.
I think we’re about done with Eric–which is good and bad, I liked him, but I think he’s served his purpose. Although it’s possible that he’s going to get drawn in even deeper with Bonaduke and the rest. Which will not end well for him.
I may have an idea where we’re headed for the next episode or two, and I’m intrigued.
I don’t have much to say, really. Good episode overall.
Shipbuilding, I’m guessing, is hard work. I would need to take breaks, and reading seems like a good way to pass the time while I’m resting. The first book that comes to mind for such a rest is The Sirens of Titan. This is probably my all-time favorite book. I first read it at a pivotal time in my life (junior year of high school), and I think it really changed things for the better. One way it did this was to open my mind to new ways of thinking. For example, its explanation for the purpose of all human life is one of the darkest and funniest things I’ve ever read. The idea that there was no ultimate purpose in life, or that such things could be joked about, was very freeing. My teenage mind hadn’t really contemplated such things before, but Vonnegut’s wisdom and satire had brought so many new ideas to the forefront. One of those ideas came from the following line: “I can think of no more stirring symbol of man’s humanity to man than a fire engine.” I credit this line with sparking my interest in becoming a firefighter. It’s strange to think about how one little line could have so much sway on where my life has gone (even if, in this scenario, it has led me to become stranded on a godforsaken desert island). This book also has one of my favorite lines: “A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved” (which, in this scenario, would just be myself unless the shipbuilding thing worked out).
I would like to have a cozy and often hilarious book on this island, and Miss Percy’s Pocket Guide seems just right. This book would comfort me whenever existential dread began to creep in. Plus, if I’m alone on the island for a long stretch of time, it might be helpful to learn how to smash through the fourth wall I’ll likely create in my mind. This book has the most brilliant form of fourth-wall-breaking I’ve ever read. It’s funny and fun and I want it on the island.
I know it’s not out yet, but I don’t currently have any travel plans that will take me over any large bodies of water, so I’m assuming I’ll be trapped on this island sometime in the future when the third book of The Kingkiller Chronicle is out. The main reason is that I don’t want to die without getting to the end of Kvothe’s story. I absolutely loved the first two books and I don’t think I’ve ever anticipated anything quite like I anticipate The Doors of Stone. Not that I want to put any pressure on Mr. Rothfuss. I’m currently writing book 3 of my own trilogy, so I understand the difficulties that come with such a task. Whenever he is ready, I’ll allow myself to go over the ocean. But not until then!
It feels strange not to have a Terry Pratchett book on this list, but I’m going with this instead. For one thing, it’s fantastic. For another, I haven’t read it in too long so a reread is overdue. This is another book that presents the ultimate answer to the meaning of life (the universe, and everything) as something we can joke about. Humor is so damned important in the face of that pesky existential dread. In my opinion, we have to laugh at ourselves and our place in all of this to cope and find a slice of happiness in this unfathomable galaxy of ours. I imagine this kind of attitude will be beneficial as the existential dread of the desert island really starts to take hold.
